Raven

by Allison van Diepen

  “That’s because they sniff out the bad guys and keep them out,” Kim says. “Which is exactly why this happened. It’s crazy to think that most Saturday nights we would’ve been there.”

  “I can’t believe I missed the action,” Chen says. “The one time I’m not at Evermore on a Saturday night, there’s major drama. Just my luck.”

  Kim rolls her eyes. “Most people would call it good luck.”

  “Well, I’m starved for action, okay?”

  She raises a brow. “What kind of action are you taking about?”

  They both laugh. Slide and I just shake our heads.

  “Oh, we got big news for you,” Slide tells me. “We were at the Vice and we ran into the Spinheads. Chen and Spinman almost had it out—you should’ve seen it!”

  “I could’ve taken his scrawny ass down,” Chen says. “But I didn’t wanna get charged, so I figured we’d do it the clean way. They’re coming to Evermore in two weeks, Saturday night. We battle them at midnight.”

  “It’ll be the rematch of the century,” Kim says sarcastically.

  “This is serious shit, Kim,” Chen snaps.

  “I know, honey,” she replies, restraining a smile.

  “We’re gonna have to practice extra,” Slide says, looking at me. I nod. Breaking is the last thing on my mind right now, but I know how important this match is for the guys.

  I won’t let them down.

  ♦ ♦ ♦

  Chromeo’s sounds are pumping from the stereo. I’m dealing up six steps in slow motion. I’ve got this idea of kicking both of my legs out at the end, like a Russian dancer, and pushing off from my heels. A good idea in theory, but I can’t seem to execute it.

  “Try it this way.” Chen dips to the floor and does the exact move I have in mind flawlessly.

  I groan. “My spine doesn’t go all wormy like yours.”

  “Push off with one arm instead of both,” Slide suggests. “More momentum that way.”

  He’s right, and I manage to pull it off—sloppily, but it’s a start.

  “We’ll have to do it in sync,” Rambo says, practicing the sequence. “Then we can make it into a full Russian dance.” He crosses his arms and springs up on his heels. “Dah, dah, dah!”

  We dissolve in laughter, everyone but Zin. “I’ve got some ideas for moves that’ll knock the Spinheads out,” he says. “Tell me what you think.”

  He goes through the moves slowly, one after the other. There’s magic in them, but it’s not the superhuman magic of before. It’s simply the magic of Zin, who can make any move beautiful.

  When he’s finished, we debate which moves will work best and how to use them. Slide puts on the music and we demo certain parts. Zin works with Chen on the more complex moves that they’ll perform together.

  It hits me that I’m privileged to be here with these guys, who are so passionate about what they do. But how long will the Toprocks last before life takes everyone in different directions? The thought of it saddens me. I’ve known better times with these guys than I’ve ever known before and might ever know again. I just want to grab onto these moments and not let the world, or time, touch them.

  But time always changes things. People get older, evolve.

  I sense Zin watching me. He probably knows I’m lost in thought, since my moves have slowed down. I can never think and dance at the same time. That’s one of the great things about dancing—it temporarily frees me from my thoughts.

  I know that Zin will keep his distance until I’ve given Carlo my decision. And I know it’s because Zin is worried that the more attached I am to him, the more likely I’ll be to change, despite his warnings. The irony is that it makes no difference whether I have alone time with Zin or not, because I’m already beyond attached to him. He’s in my soul, and I’m in his.

  He knows that too.

  GHOST

  “What are you doing?” I ask, watching Josh slide four hundred pounds onto the bar above the bench press.

  “I can do it.” He winks.

  “Yeah, and people might notice. What are they going to think when a guy who’s one-seventy benches this kind of weight?”

  “Hey, I’m one-seventy-seven. But point taken.” He removes two hundred pounds from the bar. “Spot me, will ya?”

  “Fine.” Me spotting him is a total joke. “Don’t do that again when I’m not around, all right? I’m serious about attracting attention.”

  Getting into position, he lifts the weight easily. “I know. I don’t need scientists poking at me or juice monkeys asking for my secret. Maybe I’m trying to send out a message—in case there are any Heng Te around.”

  “You know?”

  “Of course. Carlo told me.”

  “Are you worried?”

  “Not really. I’ll be careful. There’s one thing I’m sure about.” Finishing his first set, he sits up. “I’m not leaving this earth until I’m good and ready. Grandpa told me so.”

  “Grandpa?”

  “He came to me at the very end, just before Carlo showed up. He said it wasn’t time for me to cross over.”

  “You’re joking.”

  “No. I can’t say for sure it was real, but I think it was. It wasn’t like he came to me while I was dreaming. There was no dream. It was darkness. As far as I know, I was brain-dead then. But I saw him, heard him as clearly as I’m hearing you now.”

  “What else did he say?”

  He lies back down and continues lifting. “He said I won’t leave this earth until I’ve faced my demons. So I figure I’ve got plenty of years left, even with the Heng Te around.”

  “You really think it was Grandpa?”

  “I do. Carlo thinks it was just my subconscious. He’s an atheist, you know. He doesn’t believe in God or an afterlife.”

  “What about you? Do you still believe in God?”

  “Anyone would after experiencing a miracle. And that’s what it was, even if Carlo calls it science. I think there could well be something after we die, Nic. I respect Carlo, but I don’t see how one person could have all the answers.”

  “So do you feel like maybe you missed something by not crossing over?”

  Set done, he sits up again. “I wasn’t ready to cross over. Hell, if I’d died, I’d probably be a ghost right now, haunting some idiot with a Ouija board. Or I’d be dead as a doornail. I just know it wasn’t my time. It wouldn’t have been right for me to die that way, with so much guilt, so much unfinished business. It would’ve been a total waste. Are you okay?”

  I almost let you die that way. I’m so sorry. But I don’t think he’d understand my reasons, and I can never tell him.

  “I’m fine. Cardio time?”

  “Sure, but not too much. I want to keep the poundage I’m putting on. Let’s row for ten minutes.”

  We go to the rowing machines, side by side on the floor. I pull at it hard, slide back and forth, and again.

  “You’ve got lots of energy,” he remarks. “Are you sure you’re not one of us?”

  I grunt. Part of me wants to cry out in frustration. He has no idea what I’m going through right now, how torn I am.

  “Mom and Dad seem to be doing well these days.” He’s rowing at a leisurely pace. “Do you think they’re scared I’ll relapse?”

  “They’re definitely scared, but they’re good at hiding it. They are happy, though. I haven’t seen them this way in a long time.”

  “That’s good, because I won’t be nearby forever. It’ll be nice to know that you’ll be around to take care of them. We leave in four years, Carlo says.”

  “I’ve heard.”

  “I have to admit, I’m excited to move on to the next place. And the next. Last night I was up till four in the morning studying maps of the world.”

  “Did he tell you what the Jiang Shi do in these places?”

  “Of course he told me. He said their stop here in New York is like a two-week vacation for them. The next place they hit will be somewhere they’re really needed
. I think it’s great. I always wanted to save the world.”

  I’m aware of a twinge of hurt inside me. I was hoping he might be thinking about ways he could stay with us longer. Instead he’s ready to take off with the Jiang Shi any day. But that’s Josh, and it always has been. Once he gets an idea in his mind, it’s all he thinks about.

  “Oh, and I meant to tell you: I broke it off with Emily. We weren’t officially back together, but it was heading in that direction. I made it clear that I had to pursue my own path, and that we didn’t have a future.” Seeing my expression, he frowns. “What is it? I did the right thing.”

  “I just feel sad for her.”

  “Me too. All of us Jiang Shi have to hurt loved ones this way. It’s unavoidable.”

  “I know.”

  “I know you know.” He stops rowing suddenly and turns to me. “To tell you the truth, it pisses me off that Zin let it get to this point with you. I can see the love between you guys. Nothing good can come of it.”

  He’s right. It will end in heartbreak for both of us unless I become one of them.

  “I wish you could get away from him as soon as possible, Nic. Start the healing process. If you stay with him for the next four years, it’s only going to be worse when he leaves.”

  “I know.”

  “But you’re not going to let go, are you?”

  “It’s too late to let go. Can’t you see that in my soul?”

  He sighs. “I guess I can.”

  ♦ ♦ ♦

  Friday night, past three a.m. It’s just Carlo and me in his office.

  “You’ve thought about my offer, I take it?” he asks.

  “Yes, and I’ve decided that I’m not going to let you change me.”

  “Why?”

  “Because I’m not sure. And I think when you’re not sure, you shouldn’t do something drastic.”

  I’m waiting for him to comment on my unsophisticated reasoning, but he only says, “Then you are putting your destiny in the hands of fate.”

  “My destiny has always been in the hands of fate, hasn’t it? If something happens to me tomorrow, and you have the opportunity to change me, then do it. But otherwise I’m staying the way I am.”

  “And what about Zinadin?”

  “What about him?” If he wants to challenge my love for Zin, fine.

  But he doesn’t dare. The truth is right in front of him.

  “I think you are making a mistake, Raven. But I respect your decision. My prophecy will unfold regardless. I hope you are prepared.”

  “I’m not prepared for anything. And I’m not particularly brave, either. So if the prophecy calls for someone like me, I don’t understand it.” I get up. “I’ve gotta go.”

  As I walk to the door, he says, “It won’t be easy to return to your regular life when you know what destiny lies ahead of you.”

  I have no answer for that, so I shrug, then close the door behind me.

  Outside the office, Zin is waiting. Without a word, he pulls me into a hug, and I feel my soul mingle with his.

  ♦ ♦ ♦

  It’s useless trying to shake off Carlo’s warning. The truth is that I know something is coming. My intuition knows. My dreams, full of ravens, know.

  I’m awakened from sleep by a knock at my window. My room is the gray that precedes dawn.

  I slip out of bed and pad to the window, looking in between two blinds.

  It’s Zin. I open the window, and he slides in without a sound. I catch his scent, warm, spicy, and want to carry him back into dreamland. But the distress on his face sobers me.

  “I had a dream.” He’s out of breath, like he’s been running.

  “Tell me.” I take his hand, and we sit down on my bed.

  “He’s dead.” His eyes are full of sadness. “It’s my fault. I never should have let him go.”

  “Oh my God. Gabriel?”

  “Yeah. He came to say good-bye.”

  Shivers go through me. “But it was a dream.”

  “It was so real. And it explains why I haven’t heard from him. I’ve had this feeling in my gut that something was wrong, from the beginning.”

  “Did he say how it happened?”

  “No. He just said that he was right.”

  “About what? About Carlo?”

  “I took it to mean that he was right about life after death. This dream, this communication . . . it could be the proof, Nic. There is something after we die.”

  “Josh said our grandpa came to him when he was dying. That could be proof too.”

  “Gabriel’s gone. I didn’t want to believe it. I wanted to think there was some way he could still be alive. You know what this means, don’t you? The Heng Te are real, and they caught up with him.”

  “If he is dead, then it means he’s crossed over to where he wants to be. It means he’s solved the mystery. And how do you really know it was the Heng Te? Maybe there’s another way for a Jiang Shi to move on that you don’t know about.”

  “Maybe.”

  “Did he say anything else?”

  He looks at me, his eyes haunted. “He asked me when we’re going to stop running.”

  We don’t move for a while.

  Gradually we lie down, holding hands. We stare at the darkened ceiling as if the answers are written there, if we could only see them.

  MIDNIGHT

  The Spinheads stride through the doors of Evermore like gunslingers in the Wild West.

  We, the Toprocks, are ready.

  I quickly change in the back. When I come out, Carlo is there. “A battle tonight, I see. Could you stop by my office when it’s over?”

  If he’s going to say more about how I’m supposed to become a Jiang Shi, I don’t want to hear it. But he’s the boss, so I nod.

  “Good luck, Raven.”

  “Thanks.”

  I hit the dance floor. The Toprocks’ energy pumps me up. We like to start the battles, so we have to act fast. As a group, we cross the dance floor. Slide steps in front of Spinman and starts doing the monster dance from the “Thriller” video. We laugh.

  Spinman gets all puffed up. He never could take a joke. He takes three steps, making a square, then hits the floor with six steps, twisting up on his right arm in a sideways L-kick. Nice.

  Zin bursts into the middle with a front flip, landing in the splits. The crowd cheers. He uses his arms to hoist himself up, then spins like a gymnast doing the floor exercise.

  Jam knee-drops in, doing multiple windmills. I’m in next with some freestyling. I feel the crowd with me. Dropping to the floor in a worm, I pop up like a jack-in-the-box, then slink back into applejacks, inspiring hoots and cheers.

  The Spinheads’ girl comes in with two-steps, followed by baby swipes. Not a power move, but good technique. I clap for her, and she glares at me. Another of their b-boys, a new member of Spinman’s crew, comes in with broncos, but he’s got too much adrenaline, making it impossible for him to keep his legs in the air very long.

  You can tell that at this moment Spinman is not loving his crew. We’ve got to capitalize on that and show a united front of skill. Zin’s thinking the same as I am. He dives in and does the new move I made up—which we call the Russian pop-up—with incredible charisma. We all drop to the floor and join him. Each time we pop up, Zin ends the move with a flourish—a backflip, an L-kick, an airswipe. It comes together like we were born to it.

  The crowd goes crazy.

  ♦ ♦ ♦

  We’ve left the Spinheads in the dust.

  The Toprocks pound palms. We’d like to do the same with the Spinheads, but they’re stalking off the dance floor. Sore losers. Well, I can’t blame them—we were the same way.

  I look around, hoping Carlo saw our victory, but I don’t see him. I head for the office but find the door closed. I guess he’s waiting for me.

  I knock. When there’s no answer, I open it, and stop dead.

  Carlo is shaking violently as bursts of light stream out of him and rise into t
he air. Someone is behind him, hands pressed to his head.

  I watch, stunned, as the light shapes float up through the ceiling.

  “Stop it—you’re killing him!”

  Carlo slumps on the desk. Behind him, Kim meets my eyes, removing her hands from his head as the last orb of light disappears.

  I run to him, shake his shoulders. “Carlo!”

  “He’s gone,” she says softly. “I’m sorry.”

  “Sorry?” I step away from her. A thousand denials run through my brain. “You killed him.”

  “Believe me, Nic, I had no choice.”

  I search her eyes, looking for the person I know. The person I thought was my friend. “Is that you, Kim?”

  “It’s me.”

  “You’re a Heng Te.”

  “Yes.” She runs to the door and locks it. “I can’t believe I forgot to do this. Thank God it was . . . only you.”

  I realize that she’s standing between me and the door.

  “Get out of my way,” I say, trying to keep my voice from shaking.

  To my surprise, she does. “You can leave if you want. But please listen to me first. I need your help.”

  Is she crazy? I just saw her kill Carlo and now she wants me to help her? I rush toward the door.

  “You can save Zin and Josh.”

  My hand is on the doorknob, but she has my attention. I turn back and face her.

  “There are other Heng Te on their way here,” she says. “That’s why I had to do this tonight. I wanted to give the Jiang Shi a choice before the others arrive.”

  “What kind of choice?”

  “To become mortal.”

  “Mortal? It’s not possible.”

  “It is. All I have to do is reverse the spell, release the souls they’ve taken, and leave their original soul intact. The Jiang Shi would go back to the age they were when they were changed and live out their lives like the rest of us.”

  “Why didn’t Carlo have the same choice then?”

  “The keeper of the spell had to die. It was the only way to guarantee that no more Jiang Shi are ever created.”

  “But Carlo had the spell for hundreds of years, and he only changed a few!”

  She shakes her head. “Carlo hasn’t been honest with you about how many people he changed. There are more Jiang Shi than any of you know. Even if Carlo had promised to never make another Jiang Shi, I couldn’t count on him keeping his word. I’m sure it was compassion that motivated him to change the people he did. Compassion is the greatest temptation of all.”