The Goddess Gets Her Guy

by Ashlyn Chase

  She gave him the side-eye but eventually said, “Sure.”

  The two of them materialized in a forest. It didn’t take long for him to realize the forest was in the tropics. Warm, heavy mist covered most of the early morning landscape, and a parrot cawed in the palm tree over their heads.

  “Have a seat,” she said, pointing to a wet log.

  “Uh, this isn’t exactly what I had in mind.”

  “No? You don’t like my rain forest?”

  “Well, it’s not that I dislike it. It’s just a little damp. Tropical is fine, but how about a sunny beach? Or better yet, a boat at sunset?”

  She folded her arms, but they didn’t change location. “You wanted to speak to me privately. You can do it here better than on a crowded beach or boat.”

  He sighed and sat his hairy bottom on the damp log. “Okay.”

  She sat beside him but not close enough to touch.

  Oh well. I’d better get to the point. He knew she wasn’t the most patient goddess. “The reason I was hoping for a more romantic spot is that I wanted to ask you out.” He smiled, and a bouquet of mixed tropical blooms appeared in his hand. He extended it to her, but she just looked at it.

  “You cut down my flowers.”

  “Only a few of them…”

  “A few here. A few there. Before you know it, fields of flowers disappear.”

  “Fine. I’ll put them back.” The bouquet disappeared, and so did his smile. This wasn’t going well at all.

  “Look, Pan. It’s nice of you to want to…um…take me out, not that I know what that means, but I hear a relationship needs to include physical attraction.”

  “But I am physically attracted to you! Who wouldn’t be? You’re gorgeous. Long white flowing hair, the wind rippling your gauzy gown, revealing your gorgeous figure—although you could stand to do a few sit-ups…”

  Gaia’s eyes widened, and her lips thinned. “Get out, Pan. It’s nice that you’re attracted to me, but I am not attracted to you! You don’t keep your long hair clean, and you stink. Do you understand? Not attractive.”

  He lowered his head, aiming his goat horns at her ample breasts. Steam exited his nostrils. Fortunately, before he could do something he’d regret, she disappeared.

  “Damn.” Not one to be easily discouraged, Pan took a moment to ponder her criticism. If her only objection to him was his hygiene, he could take a bath, get a nymph to cut his hair and groom him, and try again.

  * * *

  The Fierro family had decided to maintain their tradition of a big Sunday dinner, even in Puerto Rico. They’d been doing it in Boston for years—even after their sons moved out of the house. Each was expected to be there, except in an emergency. Why should Puerto Rico be any different?

  Fortunately, the faraway family members could be transported by their wives, both of whom were modern muses. A minor goddess could hold onto a human or paranormal being and pull them into the ether. From there, it was a small matter to materialize wherever they wanted to be.

  Chloe and Ryan were particularly glad about the family moving far away. Ryan had been caught in a backdraft during his time with the Boston fire service, and a very public funeral had been held for him. He didn’t dare show his face around Boston, so he and his wife, Chloe, had moved to her castle in Ireland.

  Because Chloe had also been a firefighter in Boston, Gaia had talked her into becoming the modern muse of fire safety, in charge of things like stoves, matches, and gas fireplaces…all the things invented since the ancient Greek muses grew up.

  The only son staying in Boston was Jayce. He and his wife, Kristine, were both firehouse captains. If they moved away and wanted to continue their jobs as firefighters, they’d have to start all over…going through training, probation, and then working their way up to lieutenant. It would be a long, long time before they achieved the rank of captain again.

  But Gaia needed a muse to handle mobile communication devices—cell phones, two-way radios, and anything else that popped up in the future meant to connect people. So Kristine took the job. She and Jayce were able to get on the same schedule because they worked in different houses, and they made it to almost every family dinner together.

  In Puerto Rico, along with the youngest son, Luca, were the rest of the second-generation Fierros: Miguel and Sandra, Gabe and Misty, Dante and Mallory, and finally Kizzy and Noah. Soon Dawn would be part of the family too.

  The patriarch and matriarch of this whole phoenix brood, Antonio and Gabriella Fierro, had finally fulfilled their dream of retiring in a tropical climate. No more Boston winters! Antonio said he wanted a bumper sticker to that effect. If he ever became ungrateful for twenty minutes in San Juan traffic, he’d be reminded he no longer had to put up with two hours in Boston traffic and then shoveling out his parking space!

  Basically, life was good. The family brought their strength with them and tried to help other islanders regain the stability they had known before Hurricane Maria devastated their infrastructure.

  Dawn’s grandmother Annette had become fast friends with Gabriella, who’d convinced her to move there too. The two of them worked together, shopping and cooking these huge feasts, and the rest pitched in where needed. This time, it was Annette’s turn to plan the menu and coordinate their efforts.

  “Dawnie, did you bring butter for the rolls?”

  “Yes, Grams. I know how these guys love to slather it on.”

  “Oh good. And Sandra, did you bring a salad?”

  “I sure did,” the willowy blonde nurse said cheerfully.

  “Dante and Noah, could you please set the tables?” Annette asked.

  “Sure, Mom.” Noah elbowed Kizzy and winked. The dark-haired doctor snapped her fingers, and three picnic tables, pushed together end to end, set themselves with eighteen plates, bowls, and sets of silverware, like a Disney cartoon.

  “Not fair, Kizzy,” Mallory kidded.

  “Hey, if you were a witch or a muse, you’d do it too.”

  “Yeah, well, Gaia didn’t need my specialty in the arts. She’s got plenty of original muses for that. My only job is keeping my mouth shut about the rest of you.”

  “Wait a minute. I count eighteen places. We only need seventeen,” Annette said.

  Kizzy slapped her own head. “Oh, I forgot to tell you. I invited my father. He’s vacationing here this week. I’m sorry. I should have asked you first.”

  “No, don’t be silly. Of course he’s welcome. It even makes the spots at the table nice and equal. Hey, Antonio!” Annette called out. “How’s my jerk chicken doing?”

  “Fine. Same as your dumbass burgers.”

  Annette and everybody within earshot—which included almost everyone—burst out laughing. “That’s what paranormal hearing gets you.”

  Gabriella came out of the house carrying a big bowl of fresh fruit salad. “What did I miss?”

  “Oh, just your husband being his usual comical self,” Annette said.

  Their special guest rounded the corner of the home to meet everyone in the backyard.

  “Dad!” Kizzy rushed over and threw her arms around her father.

  “Dr. Samuels, I presume!” Antonio met him with a smile and handshake. “Welcome to our little gathering.”

  Aaron laughed. “Little? Thank you for having me. Are you sure you can squeeze in another person?”

  “The more the merrier,” Gabriella said.

  Everyone took a place at the table and started serving themselves family-style, passing bowls and platters around. Antonio came over with a pile of grilled chicken and went back for a mound of hamburgers.

  Chloe jumped up. “Oh! I forgot the potato salad.” She disappeared into thin air and returned quickly with a large bowl in her hands. Then her jaw dropped. “I’m sorry. Does Aaron know about everyone here?”

  Aaron smiled. “I know m
any of you are phoenixes. Some are witches. A few are even dragons, I believe.”

  Chloe slapped a hand over her heart. “Whew. I wasn’t sure if I was going to have to wipe your mind of my little disappearing act.”

  “Well, I didn’t know you could do that, but watch this…” Suddenly, Aaron disappeared and reappeared a few feet away.

  Kizzy chuckled. “Nice one, Dad.” She glanced around the table at the others. Nobody batted an eyelash. “My dad is a witch, like the rest of my family.”

  Aaron smiled. “Not exactly like the rest. Each person in the family has their own special power. Ruthie, my youngest, is very psychic. Kizzy here is a natural healer. I just have this one little trick of invisibility.” He shrugged. “Not that useful, since I don’t like to eavesdrop.”

  “Don’t feel bad,” Gabriella said. “The only power I have is the hairy eyeball.”

  Most of her sons laughed.

  “Yeah, we all know that look,” Luca said. “The one our mother gives us that means ‘don’t even think about it.’ She perfected that before I was born.”

  Gabriella smirked. “And that’s why you all turned out so well.”

  The rest of the dinner went as expected. Lively chatter around the picnic tables, different conversations in different areas. Passing salt, passing butter, passing gas and the occasional burp.

  When it was fairly quiet, between dinner and dessert, Dawn spoke up. “I need some opinions on something.”

  “Go ahead, dear.” Annette riveted her attention on her granddaughter.

  “Gaia offered me a position, and I was told she wouldn’t be mad if I turned it down. So I did. I’m really worried she won’t be happy with me now.”

  “Wow,” Kristine said. “What job did she offer you?”

  “She offered to make me the muse of technology.” Dawn grimaced. “I’m afraid I can’t do it. I only have an associate’s degree in computer science.”

  Annette leaned back. “What did I tell you about saying only when you’re talking about your associate’s degree?”

  Dawn rose and flung her arm out as she announced loudly and proudly, “I have an associate’s degree!”

  Luca chuckled. “Don’t be a smart-ass, honey.”

  Dawn sat her butt down on her spot at the bench. “Sorry.”

  “What exactly are you worried about?” Gabriella asked. “Gaia’s reaction to your saying no? Or the idea that if you said yes, you wouldn’t be able to do it?”

  Dawn sighed. “Both, I guess.”

  Luca rubbed her shoulder. “You have enough to do right now, sweetheart. You’re working for Karma Cleaners, you’re helping me start my PI business, and you’re setting up our household.”

  “I know. It’s just that, well, she’s the goddess of all. Mother Nature herself! How do you ignore her requests?”

  “A lot of people do,” Aaron said. “Think about climate change.”

  A whirlwind suddenly blew in from the corner of the yard and stopped beside where Dawn was sitting. As the wind died down, Mother Nature appeared with her hands on her hips. “Is someone talking about me? It didn’t sound like I was being summoned, so I assume I’m being discussed behind my back.”

  Most of the table didn’t react unusually. Dawn may have sunk down a couple of inches, but Aaron sat up straight, his eyes wide.

  Gaia glanced over at him and did a double take. “You!”

  “I’m sorry,” Gabriella said. “I thought you knew everyone and everyone knew you. Let me introduce you to Dr. Samuels, Gaia.”

  He cleared his throat. “We are…acquainted.”

  Gaia smiled shyly. “Yes, we are. Now you know my big secret.”

  “Is that why you ran away?”

  “We can talk about that later, but first I need to reassure this young lady,” she said, patting Dawn on the head. “I’m not the least bit mad at you. I hope you’ll change your mind later, of course. However, if you don’t, I understand. You’re doing things that will benefit others. All of you young people are. I’m quite proud.”

  “That’s very kind of you, Gaia,” Antonio said. “Dawn should have the right to make her own choices.”

  “And what do you have to do with it?” Gaia tipped her head.

  “I’m the patriarch of this family…or most of it,” he said, nodding at Aaron. “What happens to my future daughter-in-law concerns me.”

  “Relax, Mr. Patriarch. I won’t force anyone to be one of my treasured minor goddesses, like Chloe here, and Kristine, and Misty…”

  “Um…that reminds me. I’ve been meaning to speak to you, Goddess,” Misty said.

  “Oh? About what?”

  Misty chewed her lip, and Gabe took her hand. “Tell her,” he said.

  “I—I’m not comfortable with my job as the muse of modern parenting.”

  Gaia stumbled backward. “You’re not? But you’re doing so well.”

  Misty gave her a sad smile. “Thank you, but it’s really taking a toll on me. I have my own little one, and soon I’ll have two.” She patted her round abdomen. “Watching other people messing up their children, especially when they’re so young, well…sometimes I want to shake those parents and scream at them.”

  Mother Nature rolled her eyes. “Welcome to my world.” After a quick glance at Aaron, she continued, “But I understand. You’re right to tell me if you can no longer handle the pressure. But who will I get to help the parents who are trying to do a good job but are simply overwhelmed? There are so many responsibilities and so little support for many of them.”

  “You know who would be perfect for that position?” Gabe said. “If I may be so bold as to make a suggestion?”

  “Go ahead, middle Fierro son.”

  “A mother who has raised seven sons, worried about several firefighters in the family, including her husband, but remains supportive and has never lost her sense of humor or kindness.”

  “Who could that be?”

  Gabriella stared at her son. “Gabe? Are you talking about me? Don’t you think you should’ve mentioned that to me first?”

  He shrugged. “It’s just a suggestion.”

  Gaia smiled. “And a darn good one! I haven’t watched you as carefully as perhaps I should have, Gabriella. As soon as I knew you were loyal to your family beyond all else and that you could be trusted completely with their paranormal secret, I didn’t give you much thought.”

  “That’s probably a good thing,” Antonio whispered to his wife.

  “Hush,” she whispered back.

  Gaia tipped her head and studied her. “I accept your offer. Misty can train you.”

  “But I never offered,” Gabriella said.

  “You would have. If for no other reason than to help your daughter-in-law.”

  Antonio laughed. “She’s got you pegged, dear.”

  Gabriella turned to Misty. “Do you think I can do it?”

  “I can’t think of anyone better suited to the job,” Misty answered. She smiled for the first time since Gaia appeared. Then Misty’s gaze dropped to the ground. “Would I have to give up my muse powers and the cure for MS you gave me as a reward for taking the job?”

  “Not if we can find another way for you to help me.”

  “And would I become a minor goddess?” Gabriella asked.

  “Of course. That’s what a muse is.”

  “Then I accept!” Gabriella hugged Misty. “How wonderful to be able to visit my children wherever they are, whenever I like!”

  Several groans were heard around the table.

  Hands on her hips, Gabriella scowled at the group of them. “I won’t just pop in unannounced! I know you have love lives.”

  Group giggles and titters helped ease the tension.

  “Can she try it for a while, then the two of you talk about how it’s going?” Antonio asked
. “That’s what I did as a captain with my FOPs.”

  “Fops?” Gaia raised her unplucked eyebrows.

  “It stands for firefighter on probation. All firefighters go through a trial period.”

  Gaia tried to hide her amusement. “I guess she’ll have to be a GOP. Goddess on probation.”

  More laughter resounded around the table. Aaron and Gaia exchanged a secret smile.

  “Would you care to join us?” Gabriella offered. “We have plenty.”

  “Thank you, but I can’t stay. I have an avalanche to prevent.”

  “Oh! By all means. Another time then.”

  Mother Nature nodded once and disappeared.

  Chapter 5

  “Thank you for coming,” Aaron said as he met Gaia in a deserted area of the island.

  “Of course I came. You called me. So what do you want me for?”

  Aaron smiled. “I know you’re a pretty busy woman…or should I say you’re a pretty woman who is busy. That’s the way I see you.”

  Mother Nature’s posture relaxed, and a glowing blush colored her cheeks.

  “Anyway, I was hoping to talk to you, because we didn’t get a chance to discuss our accidental meeting yesterday at the Fierros’ household.”

  “Yes. I was surprised to see you. But not displeased. I ran a quick energy scan and found that everyone was either supernatural or knew about the paranormal world.”

  Not displeased. Well, that’s a start. “I was wondering if you knew about me before the party.”

  “Knew about you?”

  “That I’m a witch.”

  Gaia stumbled backward. “You’re a witch? You mean you wear a black robe and hood and do all those crazy rituals at night under the full moon?”

  Aaron sat on a rock and snickered. “No, I’m not that kind of witch. I seem to have been born with certain powers and beliefs that have been passed down for generations. We were a matriarchal society, with you, Gaia, as our supreme deity. I can’t tell you what an honor it is to meet you.”

  Gaia sat on the lawn next to him. “Okay, that’s kind of cool. I’m sorry I didn’t talk to you more yesterday. I had a crisis to handle.” She shook her head. “Always with the crises.”