Love Defies Us

by Stoneback, J. M.

  Aurora is a skater girl at heart. Her body is tiny, but she’s very curvy with a round ass. A nose ring shaped like a flower is stuck in her right nostril. Her eyes are the color of wet concrete and her skin is pale as ice. And her baby-doll face looks young and innocent. She’s from New York City and fresh out of high school, and a jailbait in my opinion. I don’t fuck women younger than twenty-one. My motto is “If you’re not old enough to drink then you’re not old enough to ride my dick.”

  “The ‘I don’t give a shit’ mood,” he mocks in her tone as he shoves his fingers through his coal black hair. He looks like a dehydrated pale vampire. He relaxes on the couch. “I don’t need to get in his ass, but I need to get into yours. Why the fuck you kept getting off-key last night? The purpose of your job is to be on rhythm.” He rakes his eyes over her small tits and her face. His eyes eat her up like candy. Her shoulders stiffen and her face turns redder than blood.

  Why does he love to give her shit? I don’t know. Everyone and their momma knows Easton wants to give her dick. Azrael puts out his cancer stick in the ashtray and watches them like a hawk.

  “I had a shitty week, okay?” she says through clenched molars. “Now, leave me the hell alone.”

  “Listen here, Sunshine.” He plucks her skateboard from her hand and sets it on the carpet, then he yanks her down on his lap. Her breath hitches, and she swallows hard. He grips her chin. They play this cat and mouse game with each other. Watching them interact reminds me that I haven’t had pussy in a month. The last time I got my dick wet, I was drunk and slept with a groupie. I don’t remember her name nor face. Just remember she could suck dick like an experienced porn star.

  “Get your head out of your ass or we’ll replace you faster than you can blink. We have millions of fans counting on us to deliver them great music. You’re not performing at the trailer-trash dump that you were born in. You’re doing big things and going big places.” He cocks his head to the side.

  “Let her go,” Azrael says, glaring at Easton like he’s ready to rip his head off. He always tries to protect Aurora from the world, like he’s her guardian angel. East cuts his eyes to him.

  Azrael and Easton aren’t close. Azrael tolerates him because he’s my friend. Every day, East is always doing stuff to taunt Aurora. I don’t know what his deal is with her, but I’ve never seen him so riled up or give an ounce of fuck about a woman. He barely gave a shit about his ex-girl.

  Aurora mouths thank you to Azrael and grabs her stuff and leaves the basement.

  “Careful, Az,” Easton tsks. “Stay away from my toy.”

  Azrael glares at Easton as if he wants to kill him with his bare hands. He isn’t much of a shit-talker. He’ll wait until East strikes him first, then he’ll let loose his rage.

  “Just fuck her already,” I say to East, and Azrael grinds his molars and the vein in his forehead throbs.

  “I want to break her first,” he says.

  I lift my eyebrow and wrinkle my nose. “Why?”

  “Because I want to, and I can.” Azrael and I glance at him as if he lost his mind. “Because she’s weak and needs tough skin.”

  “And that’s your job?” Azrael says, shaking his head. Easton glares at him and his nostrils flare.

  “It’s my fucking business. She has to be great like…” Tears gloss his eyes as he speaks about Natasha. I swallow the lump clogging my throat. Natasha was the only light in his life. The only one that put him in his place when he’s acting like a piece of shit. “The fans are already shitting on her on social media saying she’s not as good as her.” His voice is low and thick.

  “You’re a fucking lunatic,” I say, tapping my foot to a tuneless beat. He needs to be locked up in a padded room with a straight jacket.

  He chuckles and his eyes are back to looking empty. “True. But I’m not into stalking the woman I’m craving,”

  My shoulders relax as I lean against the wall. I made him ride with me last night to a restaurant Sadie was at, and I saw her with a group of people. Thanks to her diary, it has a little calendar detailing where she will be. He bitched the whole entire time and was sexting Aurora, and she kept sending him middle-finger emojis.

  I had to stalk Sadie to make sure she didn’t have a boyfriend. Even though she doesn’t mention one in her diary, I needed that validation. I needed to see it with my own eyes because women lie all the time, and they’re good at cheating and hiding it. My ex was good at hiding her cheating, and if I hadn’t left one of my suitcases at our place, then I wouldn’t have caught her.

  “I’m having a party tonight, you’re rolling through?” Azrael asks me. It’s tradition for him to throw a party after we come home from tour.

  “Yeah, but I’ll be there a little later. I got a fish to fry.”

  That fish is Sadie and my tongue kissing her lips between her legs.

  Sadie

  “How was it touring with The Wakening of Gods?” Jasper, my best friend and roommate, asks. His smile is as infectious as a disease, and his voice is as rich as dark chocolate. He hides his baby blues behind Chanel sunglasses, and the salmon button-down shirt and black plaid shorts are fitted too tight around his bulky frame. His pecan hair is tangled and unruly, and his honey-brown skin is supple and slick with sweat.

  We sit outside at the patio at Starbucks. The air is humid and hot, and pollen coats cars and litters the sidewalks. People buzz with conversation like a busy bee. Tall skyscrapers and trees decorate the vibrant city, and the scent of sweet flowers lingers in the air. Atlanta, Georgia is as beautiful as a batch of fresh hand-picked roses, sweeter than pecan pie, greener than collard greens.

  I chew on my green straw, then slurp my chocolate Frappuccino; the cool beverage chills my throat as I watch people stroll in and out of the building.

  “For the most part, it was an electrifying experience. I got to see them perform every night, and I didn’t get tired of it. Endless hotels and eating junk food. The highlight of a rock star’s life.” Those grown men act like children. Playing pranks on each other, breaking shit in their hotel rooms, but I wasn’t alone, though, I had Aurora to help me get through it.

  “Did you manage to see Felix’s dick?” His tone is more hopeful than a kid waiting to see Santa Claus on Christmas Day, and he leans back in his chair and sips his sweet tea.

  “No.” Heat melts my neck, creeps up to the crown of my hairline. He knows about my obsession in wanting to lose my virginity to Felix. We’ve been friends since our sophomore year in college.

  “Pity. You spent six months with the biggest band on the planet and not once did you get to see their dicks nor fuck one of them. I think I need a new friend.” Amusement jolts his oval face, and he shakes his head.

  I roll my eyes. “Shut up. I don’t even like Azrael or Easton in that way.” I lean back in the chair, grab the end of my hair, and chew on it. Sweat makes my cream blouse cling to my torso, and my black silk shorts showcase my long legs. “What have you been up to since I’ve been gone?”

  His eyes trail to a woman with dark skin and pink hair. He watches her breasts and checks out her ass, then his eyes trail back to mine and narrow. Jasper’s attention span is as short as a goldfish’s.

  “Nothing, really. Anthony wants me to give up Stacey, he doesn’t enjoy our open relationship.”

  He sighs and shrugs, then place his sunglasses in his hair. I’ve never understood why he was so hung up on having open relationships. I mean, I know why. He doesn’t believe in monogamy and thinks that it’s a way to keep people conformed to society. But I can’t imagine being with multiple men at one time. The thought thrills me, though. I would have a hard time trying to please each man. As long as I’ve known him, he always dipped his sausage in different varieties of mustard.

  I tilt my head to the side. “Are you?”

  He looks at me as if I told him that I was an elf with superpowers, and he straightens his spine like an ironing board. “Hell. No. I told him if he’s not happy with our arrangeme
nt then there’s the door.”

  “You’re such a man whore,” I tease. “Why am I your friend?” I cross my arms across my chest.

  He flashes his pearly whites and the lines on his forehead deepen, “Because I’m charming, sexy, and I have a killer smile. And I put up with your shit.”

  “You also snore loud, hog the TV, and eat up all the food.” Jasp is a free spirit and always has been. He doesn’t let society conform him into a box. He always made his own rules and doesn’t give a crap what people think. I admire that about him. His bravery. Not many people have that type of bravery—not even me. That’s why I like having him around. He accepts people no matter how they are.

  I peer at my watch. I have to sit in a board meeting with my brother and dad in twenty minutes.

  “But my cooking and cleaning skills makes up for my flaws.”

  That is one of the joys of living with him. After I come home from an exhausting day of work, I’ll have a full-course meal, and I never have to pick up a brush to clean the toilet or wash any dishes.

  “Maybe. If you learn to pay your half of the rent on time, then we can talk.”

  “Touché.” His smirk is blinding as the sun. “ I read the article that Business Magazine did on your old man,” he says, grabbing his cup, and I toss my empty one in the trashcan.

  Sacrifice Records is right across the street from the Starbucks. We stand up from the iron table. We maneuver past the sea of bodies as we get to the edge of the street. As the cars stops at the red light, we stroll towards the fiberglass business then stand in front of the revolving doors. My emotions are highjacked at the moment, and my heart races with jitters. Dad hasn’t dropped the bomb on who will become the next CEO which causes my pulse to accelerate through the roof. I hate the not-knowing game. I hate that I’m walking on eggshells with my dad and this business. Normally, I’m a planner, and it drives me crazy not knowing because I can’t plan for the future.

  The sun is finally coming from behind the fat fluffy clouds, beating down on me, so I place my hand on my forehead like a shield and nod slightly.

  “He’s stepping down in the next few months, and he’ll be announcing his new CEO at a press conference,” he says.

  My heart flutters in my chest, trying to crawl its way out my throat.

  The thought of my dad not making me CEO terrifies me. He might give it to my brother, Axel; he’s the oldest but only by five years. But I put in blood, sweat, and tears into working my ass off for this position. And I want it, I’ve been waiting for this moment since my freshman year in college. My relationship with my dad gives me whiplash. Some days he treats me as if I’m his little princess though most days he treats me like I’m his biggest regret in life. I want to prove to him that I’m worthy of his time and love.

  Jasper rests his hands on mine, and his lips are so thin that it looks like he doesn’t have any.

  I stare down at the cement, then close my eyes, rubbing my forehead, then I open them. He lets go of my hand.

  “He’ll give it to you, you’ve worked hard. He’ll see it,” he says, like he’s speaking to a wounded child.

  “I hope so. Axel is his favorite.” My words are bitter.

  My dad always favored my brother over me. I don’t know if it’s because I’m a woman, but I’ve only felt connected with him when it comes to business. And my mom never cared about us; she was too busy letting the nanny raise us while she lived her own life. I always felt like I was an ornament hanging on a tree to be admired. She doesn’t care about me becoming CEO, she’d rather for me to marry someone who’s rich and who can take care of me the way my dad takes care of her. But I don’t want that lifestyle. I want to be independent and free. That’s the problem with being born into wealth: they only breed to keep the wealth going.

  I wish I was born into a family like Jasper’s. He was brought up in a middle-class family. His dad is an orthopedic surgeon and his mom is a nurse. But they both shower him with unconditional love. Even when he opened up to them about his sexual lifestyle, they told him they didn’t care, and they support him even though they don’t agree with it. Even when we graduated and he didn’t know what he wanted to do with his life, his parents told him that he will figure it out. Now, we’re roommates and he’s in school to be a physician’s assistant. I doubt he’ll stick to the program, though. He’s too much of a free spirit to be tied down to a job. The longest he’s ever kept a job was a year.

  “If he doesn’t give you the business, then your dad is a real piece of shit.” There’s a bite in his tone. Jasper never really liked my dad, for the simple fact that my dad is controlling and doesn’t care about anything but his image.

  “Thanks.” I force a smile. A smile that’s filled with doubt and hopelessness.

  “Anytime.”

  We say our “see you at home,” and he kisses my cheek and turns on his heels, heading towards the parking garage. I exhale loudly as people pass me on the street. Then I head inside the building. This company is like a carrot dangling in my face.

  I need to get this job; I need to prove myself even more. I was born to be a businesswoman. And I will do whatever it takes to convince my dad I can be CEO.

  After sitting in the long dreadful meeting with my dad, Axel, and the board of members, I stroll toward my office which is on the forty-third floor. Only the managers that handle artists have the leisure of having their own floor. Each office is divided by glass walls and the atmosphere is calm like a forest. A few co-workers dressed in casualwear lingering in the hallway peep my way and murmurs to themselves. There’s no secret that my dad is the CEO of the company, therefore I have a target on my back.

  Most of my co-workers don’t speak to me and think that my position was handed to me, which is partly true. If I go to my dad and ask for a new position, then he’ll make it happen. Anything to keep me out of his hair. There are two types of people I deal with in the office: The kiss-asses and the stay-away. I prefer the latter.

  I stroll inside Betty Miller’s office; she sits at her metal desk with her head down. Her bleach-blonde hair is pulled up in a tight-ass ponytail that make the edges of her hairline look like they’ll tear any minute. I knock on the glass door and her chocolate eyes rack up at me. She smiles through her overdone sausage lips. Her patchy tan face is decorated with pimples and the floral dress is too tight around her body so she looks like a can of biscuits that’s ready to burst. But she’s also kind and nurturing. Unlike the other co-workers, she treats me like an equal, she doesn’t care about who my dad is, and it feels nice to be treated with that respect. She loves wine and she had my back at the managers’ meeting this morning. So, before I met with Jasper for lunch, I picked her up some Pinot Noir. I set the gift bag down on her metal desk.

  “What is this?” Her voice is squeaky, and her eyebrows draw up.

  “For you,” I say, clutching my Chanel bag. She pulls out the dark-colored bottle and her smile spreads even wider than the sky. “Thank you for having my back at the meeting and for all you do for me.”

  “Thank you!” she squeals, then eyes the label. “This must have cost a fortunate. You shouldn’t have.”

  She comes from around the desk and engulfs me into a large hug, and I hug her back. She smells like fresh flowers after a rainy day. Then she releases me and sets the wine back into the bag and places it by her desk. She leans forward as if she’s about to tell me a secret.

  “Just a heads up. Felix has been sitting in your office for thirty minutes.”

  My heart seizes in my chest and blood rushes to the back of my neck.

  Why is he in my office? I gave the band strict orders to take their three months’ vacation, because after the summer, they’ll have a lot of work to do.

  “I nearly jizz in my panties when I saw him walking into your office.” She picks up her latest fashion magazine and fans herself. “I’m going to need a tall glass of water after drooling over him.”

  I leave Betty’s office and stride to min
e, which is three doors down from her. As I open the glass door, my breath hitches at the sight of his back. I set my purse by my glass desk and sit in the leather chair. His feet are propped on my desk as if he owns it. I take deep breaths and my eyes meet his and my heart beats into a frenzy and my mouth waters. The black t-shirt hugs his torso and the black baseball shorts hang loosely on his hips. He looks like a god. A euphoria god. And his pine sap scent flirts with my nostrils.

  “What brings you to my office, Felix?” My tone is nervous, like a sitting duck. He peels his off-white sneakers from my desk and sits forward, taking out his cellphone from his shorts then resting both of his elbows on my desk.

  I haven’t seen him since yesterday. My cheeks are flushed, maybe from it being warm outside or maybe it’s because of him. He makes me hotter than the sun.

  “I want your opinion on something.” His eyes cling to the screen.

  “Is it something Easton wrote?” I ask, taking the pink hair tie from my drawer and putting my hair in a tight ponytail.

  Easton is responsible for writing their profound lyrics; despite him being crude and rude, his music is so raw, and rich, and edgy, and it speaks about heartbreak and love. The kind of heartbreak you rather die than experience and the type of love that makes you want to find your soul mate.

  “No.” He clears his throat like he’s about to deliver a speech at a graduation. “‘I want to suck your dick, own it, possess it, worship it.’”

  My body stiffens, my heart leapfrogs in my chest, and a ting of nausea burns in my stomach.

  “‘You’re like a sex god to me, turning me on and on and on. I want to ride your dick until there is no drop of cum left.’” He smiles at me like a cat caught a mouse that he’s been dying to devour. I wrinkle my lips, snatch the remote from the desk, and tap the button to bring down the shutter. Then I shut the door to my office.