Love and The Liffey

by Sarah Beth James

  Adrian stuck his head around the bunk as Harry left, “Here use my phone, here’s the charger and spare headphones. There are earplugs in the drawer there if ye want to sleep. And don’t worry, we are stopping for a drive through at least once. Don’t let the boys get to you.”

  “All day, you travel the whole day like this in a tiny metal box all tour?” I exclaimed.

  Adrian shrugged. “Nah, sometimes it’s all night. Ye will get used to it to go crazy. We all did. As much as they tease ye, it isn’t in cruelty. We were all greenies once. Harry, he puked for the first three months of tour, he hated travelling. Me? I lived on caffeine pills and energy drinks until I dropped because I couldn’t bring myself to trust others around me to sleep as we travelled. We each found our own way to cope, so will you, But, yeah, it will be a kicker until ye do. Make it work for you darling, hopefully in a non-addictive way. We are here for youse if you need us, promise.”

  He stroked my hair before leaving me to as much privacy as you can possibly get in such a small space crammed in with so many people. I flicked through twitter trending tags out of boredom. “Oh my god!” I shouted.

  Adrian stuck his head back, “Are ye okay?”

  “Look!” I held out the phone to him. “My ex, he just had his nudes leaked on the internet. The media is going crazy!”

  “Oh, would ye look at that, karma couldn’t have happened to a better person,” he commented. “So, he is the jerk? This singer from a talent show?”

  “I said nothing.” I grabbed the phone back.

  “Yeah, sure, English. I heard nothing and I certainly never wanted to see those kinds of pictures of him.” He smiled as he turned back to his poker game. “Shouldn’t mess with my girl,” he muttered under his breath.

  Chapter 17

  Lily’s POV

  This shit was exhausting! Up at dawn, working until late night. Half night’s sleep at best, and back at it. I have no idea how they do this shit every single day! This was sheer insanity! I could now start to understand why my ex took the cocktail of drugs that he did to keep going, even if I still did not approve of the use. Hell, there were times that I could almost want a hit myself. I felt useless, which did not help matters. I had no real tech skills to help the crew with anything. I just ran around passing people things, coffee runs, sandwich runs, stuff like that, boxing a few pieces up. A lot of my day turned into helping with washing and pressing the stage costumes.

  As for the new phone, it was only really used by Shelly or Rose to tell me the next batch of chores they needed me doing, or things they needed fetching. One or twice a week I would get a message from Adrian asking if I was okay. I barely ever saw him, other than in the distance or the odd meal together that was so rushed we could barely exchange a hi and goodbye. I fell into a chair, trying to find the energy to scoop a few forks of pasta into my mouth. Every part of my body ached. My legs felt like concrete. I needed sleep, but there were hours yet until bedtime.

  Adrian’s POV

  Tour was crazy and this was only the pre tour promo and spot concert stages. God help me when it came to the full tour! All these interviews back to back around performance spots on tv shows. If I was struggling, I hated to think how Lily was holding up. I text her when I could, but that was rare. She tended to be asleep by the time I fell into my bunk to move to the next city.

  I was amazed how well she was taking to this life, as hardworking as any of my team. She always made sure all of the costumes were ready, guitars prepped after I had quickly taught her how I tune and restring them. She listened, learned and did everything well. I wished that a lot more of my crew were as dedicated. I would have to fire a few of these before the main tour! All they did was sit around eating my food, and moaning they were tired. I sighed as Claire yet again stormed out of rehearsal after a fight over a vocal arrangement change. I would be glad when she quit, she was causing us nothing but trouble since I refused to go to dinner alone with her. The two bit nobodies were always so much more trouble that the serious, seasoned artists. Acting like they were the best of the best when they could barely hold a tune. I might have made a mistake by saying that to her face at one point, but she pissed me off. Moaning she had chamomile and honey tea not plain chamomile and how could she perform like this? I felt dearly for her new management company and her producer on her first solo album, which would no doubt fade into nothingness after a few months once she stopped trading on the name of my band.

  Defeated, I went to the canteen to pile my plate with pasta and pizza. Seeing Lily slumped over a table picking at her food. I slipped into the seat across from her. “Are ye holding up okay, English?”

  She just groaned.

  “Oh, it is that level of the tour huh?” I asked. “Youse should take a couple of days off, or at least a couple of concert nights. We can fill in for ye.”

  “Oh great, I am so useless you can replace me so easily. Thanks a lot, ‘Irish’! As I am so useless, I will get my stuff and just leave.” She pushed back her chair to leave.

  “Oh no, missy.” I grabbed her arm pulling her back down, “That is not what I said, I said we can cover ye for some time off. That’s what we do for greenies, rotating time off, I should have made sure you took some. I am sorry. I expected youse to tell me when it got too hard. Is someone picking on you? Anything I need to know?”

  “I am just not doing anything useful! Errands, guitars, costumes, tea girl, anyone could do it. A child could!” she exploded.

  I laughed, receiving a glare from her, “Ye are a runner Lily, that is what they do. It’s step one of tour work. The backbone of the tour along with the crew. What do you think would happen if we didn’t have our costumes ready? We don’t have time to do laundry? Hell, I don’t think I even have any clean socks left. What if we had no tuned guitars? Or no water on stage? Or if no one pinned the correct set list down in each of our spots and we all started a different song at the same time? It would be chaos! Ye are doing grand, darling. Better than I expected if I am to be honest. Most runners quit in the first week, finding it all too hard.”

  “So, you don’t want me to quit? You like me being on tour?” she asked in a quiet voice.

  “Never!” I promised. “Youse belong here, now eat your food and think what full day and what show you want off.”

  “Well, there was a date next week I kind of would like off.”

  “Let Shelly know the details and she will set it up,” I assured her. “I mean it now, eat. You need the energy.”

  “Why? Do you have plans for me later tonight?” She winked.

  “I might have.” I winked back.

  Chapter 18

  Adrian’s POV

  I looked at my phone for what felt like the twentieth time since the rehearsal started. Where was Lily? She never missed a rehearsal. Surely, she would have told me if something was wrong or if she had plans? “Hey guys, did you hear from English today?”

  Harry laughed, throwing a drumstick at him. “You lovesick puppy, just ask her to marry you already!”

  I blushed. “She ain’t ready for that kinda thing and I am not pushing her and risking losing the best thing in my life. Plus, I know her what, a whole six weeks?”

  The band jeered at him, even Shelly laughed at him.

  “Oh, fuck off!” I snapped, slamming backstage to ring her.

  She picked up on the ninth ring, the wait seemed like an eternity. “What do you want? I told you not to bother me today!”

  I paused, had she? I checked my notes on my phone and sure enough, today’s date read, “do not speak to Lily she is busy!”

  “Oh sorry, so what are ye doing again?” I could hear her rolling her eyes, well not really, but I was sure she was.

  “I am at a gig, remember? I bought actual tickets and everything. I am going to enjoy this without your endless dramas,” Lily complained.

  “Oh, okay, enjoy it I guess.”

  “Yeah whatever, bye.” She hung up.

  I stared at the screen w
aiting to see if she would call back, but nothing. “So weird,” I muttered to myself as I dragged my ass back to stage to finish rehearsal.

  “So, lover boy, how does it feel to have your girlfriend at the gig tonight?” Callum asked as he tuned his guitar.

  I shoved passed him. “Lily is at every gig and she is not my girlfriend.”

  “At least not yet!” Harry howled, almost falling off his drum stool.

  “You really do not remember what gig she is at?” Callum asked.

  I shrugged. “I got my mind on other things dude.”

  “Like her ass!”

  “Harry!” Shelly snapped. “Enough.”

  “She is queuing out front, here, at this venue, for your gig, tonight, as a fan,” Shelly said, speaking slowly so her point was made like he was a five-year-old.

  “WHAT?” I spilt half my glass of Guinness at the idea of it. “What the hell does she want to do that for!” I stormed off stage again to redial. “Why the fuck are ye queueing to be front of house here for my gig when you can just watch from the side of stage like youse do every night and pass me my guitars? And seriously, do ye have nothing better to do on your day off than come to the concert you work at every day?” I demanded.

  “Shut up moron!” I could hear her move away, somewhere quieter than the buzz of voices around her. “Goddamn it, idiot, I want my fan experience. My nine hours freezing my fucking ass off, singing the entire back catalogue, getting slightly drunk and then standing at barrier thinking, ‘omg that is my best friend up there looking fit as fuck.’ And imagining all the dirty things I could do to him after the show. So, damn well piss off and let me have my one and only night as a damn fan. Feeling like a real person, a normal person, not just part of the goddamn entourage of the tour. Please!”

  “If it means that much to youse? This one night off? Being with them not me? Well, kind of me?” I asked.

  “Yes!” Lily replied.

  “He never let you do it?”

  A long pause before she answered, “I was only ever allowed to attend as a fan, and never to see or touch him or go to the fucking after party. Only his famous leeches could.”

  “Okay darling, well tonight, ye get to go have as much fun as you like, and I and pizza will be waiting for ye backstage. At any point ye have had enough, come through the stage door. I will make sure the person on pass check knows youse. Ye have your pass on youse? Or shall I leave one there?”

  “I have it, hidden in my purse. Are you sure you are okay with this?”

  “Anything youse need is yours, darling.”

  “You are the best!”

  “Love ye, English.” Crap, the words slipped out before I meant them to, we never used them to each other before.

  “Love you, too.”

  I smiled as I hung up. She really said them back to me. The words I needed to hear for so long. Maybe we did have a chance to make it together, as a real couple. The rehearsal continued, as we broke for a quick meal my phone started to buzz with multiple text messages.

  ‘Fucking uber fans.’

  ‘I am going to kill each and every one of them.’

  ‘If I hear one more entitled demand of what they want from you or the band I swear!’

  ‘Omg seriously, this woman thinks she is your wife and that she is going home with you tonight and these sheeple believe her. Oh, my dear, please do try harder to convince people to your status because the only woman in your bed tonight will be me!’

  ‘No bitch, you do not get to demand early access off the security guard or into the backstage area. Not even if you flash your tits, can you not see that guard is gay?’

  ‘No, you do not get to demand setlists already. Hell, do you even know the final setlist for tonight yet? Or are you still fiddling with the songs until the last minute as usual?’

  ‘Oh, bitch please, you think you can queue jump me who has been here since noon? Just because you attended a whole seventeen concerts last tour. Fuck you and get to the back of the line, whore!’

  ‘Oh, gods, I need vodka to deal with this much stupid. A whole pint of vodka.’

  ‘No, make it a bottle with a straw in the top.’

  ‘Kill me, please, just kill me.’

  Harry looked over my shoulder reading the texts with me. “Sounds like Lil’s having a grand time with the fanbase.”

  “Has she killed anyone yet?” Callum asked.

  “Is there any video of her punching anyone yet?” Shelly asked. “Because I need to shut that down fast before the press work out that she knows you.”

  Teddy just looked on, shaking his head.

  Rose, where was that girl? Probably busy with getting costumes set up since we had two runners quit. People had no work ethic anymore.

  And Claire? She was busy reading over the vocal changes, she barely spoke to any of us since she had told us she was leaving to tour with another band.

  ‘Darling, just buzz the stage door and come back in with us.’

  ‘No, damn you! I want my fan experience.’

  ‘Dearest one, it is only a fan experience if I still have some fans left alive at the end of it.’

  ‘I won’t kill all of them! Just the entitled uber fan bitches. You won’t even miss them.’

  ‘How many are we talking?’

  ‘Eight, the first eight in the queue. They are psychos. Convinced they all know you personally. And have tea with you every other Sunday.’

  ‘I guess eight might be acceptable losses.’

  ‘Fuck it, I am buying vodka!’

  ‘Go on, get a little drunk, you deserve it.’

  ‘Damn straight I do, listening to this total shit. I suddenly remember why I do not stand at gigs, nor do I socialise with most of the fans. I just get a seat up in the gods and turn up just as doors open. No queuing and no being tainted by morons. I would dearly love them to find out I actually do know you and that we fucked! Their heads would explode.’

  “Sound check please, people,” Brad shouted.

  I nodded. “We need to get this show on the road before Lily needs bail money.”

  The rest of the night was a blur, losing myself to the soundcheck and then stuffing noodles and Chinese from a carton into my mouth backstage followed by a couple of shots of whisky. Thinking about when the doors would go green and Lily would finally be able to get in the warmth. I hoped she was wearing plenty of layers so she wouldn’t get sick.

  It felt good, right, that my wife-to-be was out there waiting for me. If only I was brave enough to show her the ring that I fetched before we left Dublin, that had been sat in my jacket pocket ever since. Just waiting for the right time and the perfect moment to admit we had the perfect love. Six weeks was too soon, but the tour was long and I would find time eventually.

  I peered around the stage curtain to see where she was. Just off my centre spoke, she looked so alive, so radiant. I just wanted to run out there and kiss her, but that would spoil her moment. I was determined to not be ‘that man’, to let her have everything she needed even if it wasn’t me. Even if it meant her going back to that monster. I just wanted to see her smile forever.

  Then all too soon the lights went down, and we all slammed onto the stage for the opening number. I was on fire, her smiles and laughter egging me on. The harder I played, the more passion I put into the performance, the louder she screamed. I had never seen her like this, not even when we sang together for fun.

  As we took our bows together at the end of the show, I knew that I was going to make her a full member of the band, not just a runner. So I could see that unbridled joy from her each and every day for the rest of their lives. I threw my pick, aiming it carefully so it landed just between her breasts, sliding down into her bra. She smiled, nodding as she retrieved it. That smile did more to me than any sex had my entire life.

  Chapter 19

  As I came backstage after the gig, it was clear to every single band member there was something serious on my mind.

  Harry looked up,
“Dude, what is going on? You are never quiet after a gig.”

  I sat down with them in the green room sipping my beer.

  “Jesus, you are acting like someone died,” Ted commented.

  “Did you two break up or something, because she looked pretty happy to me,” Callum commented.

  “Don’t see why you are so hung up on her, she can’t even sing. Not like I can!” Claire huffed storming back to her dressing room.

  Rose rolled her eyes. “That girl has it bad for you Ade, no wonder she quit as soon as Lily came on the scene.”