The Loss (Heartache series #1)

by Green, Vicki

  “Alena,” he croaks. My eyes snap up just in time to see him swallow, his throat moving up and down and his chest telling me he’s already breathing heavy. I love how I affect him by just this one movement, of course, being naked and the blanket only half covering me probably has something to do with it as well.

  He storms over, barely getting his wood pile into the basket, and squats down in front of me. I look up at him, from under my lashes, and smile. “Want some?” His mouth is on mine as he gently pushes me over onto my back, his hand is instantly covering my breast, kneading it and pinching the nipple. “Mmmm,” I moan, rather loudly.

  “Fuck! What you do to me,” he whispers against my lips then takes them again.

  I’m lost in him, in the moment, and I never want it to end. I’ve never felt so loved, so cherished as he pays homage to every inch of me. Kissing his way down my neck, where my shoulder meets it, my chest until his mouth covers my nipple. I start to squirm underneath him, my hips bucking, my aching clit wanting some of that attention. He chuckles low, vibrating against my breast and that just makes the heat rise even more inside me. He looks up at me, his brown eyes sparkling in the fire’s glow, his lashes long and dark, and smiles. “What, kitten?”

  “Ugh! Jase” I moan. His smile is devious as he starts to kiss his way down from my breast, kissing my ribs, over my stomach then he stops. “Jase.”

  He stands quickly and I feel like I could combust in frustration, but then he removes his shirt and his jeans. He’s going commando once again, and I’m starting to figure out he must do that a lot. I’m not complaining. I lick my lips when I see his thick hard cock is erect, and it makes me even more eager to have him inside me. Emotions sweep through me knowing that I’m the cause of that, that he responds to me so quickly. He kneels down in front of me, my eyes following his every move, and then he places his hands on my inner thighs. My hips buck again as he spreads my legs, his eyes watching me the entire time, filled with love and desire. I cry out when he leans down, his mouth on my extreme wetness, as his tongue does magical things to my swollen clit. “God! Jase!” I can’t stop my head from thrashing back and forth, my hips bucking uncontrollably. “Ugh! I can’t….” Tingles start building up from his sucking, his tongue diving in and out, and I feel the heat rising more and more until I close my eyes tightly, my hands fisting the blanket beneath me, and my orgasm explodes. My heart feels like it’s beating out of control. “JASE!” Before I can even come down from my bliss, his cock thrusts into me, hitting deeply. “AH!” I scream out, echoing in the small area.

  “Fuck! You’re so wet, so sexy. God, I love you!”

  My breathing stops, my eyes open slowly. He loves me. Tears quickly form. I can’t stop them. I can’t breathe. I’ve imagined this, so many times. Not like this but I couldn’t imagine a better moment, a better time. Our hips rock together, in sync. His hand reaches up, wiping away a fallen tear, and he smiles. “Those better be happy tears, kitten.” I can only nod as my lips turn up into a smile. He starts to move faster, but then he grabs my waist, pulling me up as he sits back and I’m on his lap. He helps lifting me up and down with his hands while gently gripping my waist. I pull my legs back, pushing them, following his movements. I’ve never had sex this way. Well, I’ve never made love either. Until, Jase. He’s so much deeper inside me this way. He fills me completely.

  “Fuck! This is my new favorite position,” he whispers in my ear. Our chests are heaving against each other, our pants loud in the room with no other sounds but the crackling of the fire. My arms are around him, my fingers in his hair, pulling, tugging, and spurring him on.

  “Harder,” I moan. We start moving faster. My head tilts back, and my eyes close as I start to reach another orgasm.

  I feel his release inside of me and my muscles grip his thickness as he cries out. “Alena!” He starts kissing my neck as I fall apart. He keeps rocking when I completely relax, feeling like a bowl of Jello. I feel weightless as he leans forward, laying me down, but he stays inside me as he half covers my body. I feel his tender touch, brushing my hair from my face, and I open my eyes slowly and smile.

  “I love you too. So much,” I whisper.

  His mouth is on mine quickly. When he pulls back, I see something I haven’t seen since we were young. His eyes are full of tears, one flowing down his face. I gently rub my finger against it. “We are where we belong. Together. Finally. Nothing will keep us apart, never again. I love you,” he says. So serious, so much love in his eyes, his voice. My smile couldn’t be any bigger, my heart full of him and his love. I never thought, never dreamt, this would ever happen. I had given up hope. I had given into the loss, and I never should have. I should have known we’d be together, forever.

  We lay there for a few minutes, kissing and staring into each other’s eyes. I feel his loss when he pulls out. I watch as he stands and walks out of the room. He’s quick to return with a warm washcloth. He proceeds to clean me up with such tender and gentle care. After disposing the washcloth, he comes back, slips underneath the blanket, and I turn on my side, my head resting on my hand as I mirror his position and just look at his gorgeous face. “I hope those were happy tears,” I smile as I trace along his face with my finger.

  He leans over, grabbing the bowl of strawberries and whip cream, and setting it down above the pillow on the floor. He takes a strawberry, scooping up some whipped cream and holds it up to my mouth. I take a huge bite, closing my eyes at the wonderful taste and when I open them, his are staring at me full of lust.

  “They were the happiest of tears, my love.”

  My breath hitches and I smile again, taking what’s left of the strawberry from his fingers and reach above me, dragging it through the whipped cream then hold it up to his full lips. He takes the last bite, his teeth gently pressing down on my fingers, and I giggle. My laughter fades, and I turn serious. “Do you know how long I’ve waited for you? To hear you say those words, to feel them?” He nods slowly and licks his lips. “I never thought I would hear them from your lips, feel it from your heart. I’d given up.” He opens his mouth to speak, but I lean in and cover them with mine. He moves away but presses his forehead to mine. “I was so stupid. In so many ways. I thought I’d lost you, lost you to grief and I didn’t wait. I should have waited and given you time to heal, to get stronger. I’m a fool.”

  He moves, his fingers bringing up my chin and another tear leaves my eye. The look on his face is of sorrow. Maybe he felt the same way, maybe he feels as I do that so much time has been wasted.

  “When you left for college….” His voice is rough, sad. He clears his throat. “I wasn’t in the right place, mentally. I didn’t even exist really. I couldn’t have been the man for you that you deserved.” I open my mouth to speak, but he shakes his head, stopping me. “I had so much to get through, to learn how to live again. I would have hurt you unintentionally and I would have hated myself even more.” His eyes search mine, so much pain, sadness and remorse. “I’ve always loved you. I’ve never stopped. When we were younger, you’ve always been my best friend but as we got older I’d fallen in love with you. So long ago. You’ve always been in every dream, every waking thought, every time I looked at things that reminded me of you, though I didn’t need to be reminded. You’ve always been in my heart and burned into my soul. Don’t you know that?”

  I nod, tears now streaming down my face. “I’ve always felt the same, even when I tried to move on. I couldn’t because you’re etched in my soul.”

  His mouth is on mine, pressing hard with his love. He pushes me over, his hands all over my face, my hair, my body. He makes love to me again. This time slow and full of love. Full of his heart. Full of him.

  Chapter 12

  It’s been a week. I went to the store again for supplies. Alena wanted to come, but I felt she would be safer at the cabin. She huffed in the most adorable way. I almost couldn’t
leave. I wanted to rip her clothes off and make love again. She laughed and practically pushed me out the door, telling me the sooner I left the sooner I would come back to her. Damn! I called Scott while I was there. He said Dad’s lawyer is working on it and said it should be an easy case, and we have nothing to worry about. The asshole has been silent, which could be good or very bad. I’m thinking probably the latter.

  I’m about to head back when I have a fleeting thought and sit in my truck and called one more person.

  “Hello?” Ma Spencer’s voice sounds older, tired and full of worry. I’m glad I called.

  “It’s Jase.”

  “Jase? Oh, my God! Is she okay? I won’t ask where you are but I have to know if she’s alright,” she asks eagerly.

  “She’s good, Ma Spencer. Please, don’t worry. We’re both fine.” Panting and the sound of crying.

  “Oh, thank you, sweet Jesus.” More crying and I feel bad.

  “I can’t….” My voice is all choked up. “I can’t stay on long. I’m sorry.”

  “I’m just so glad you called. Thank you. I know you’re taking care of my baby girl and I so appreciate it. She couldn’t be in better hands.” If she only knew, but I think she would approve. She’s never kept the secret that she always wanted Alena and me to be together.

  “I’ll take care of her. You have my word.” More cars coming into the small parking lot makes me nervous. “I have to go. I’ll try to call you soon. Don’t worry.” I end the call, but I know she understands.

  Once I get back to the cabin, my eyes scan around, looking for I don’t know what. Anything out of the ordinary, I guess. Leaving makes me feel uneasy. I take all the bags into the cabin, but she’s nowhere around. My heart starts racing. It’s not that big. Not like she can hide. Then I hear the shower and breathe out in relief. That reminds me that I need to get more water and heat it for the shower. Weird thing to think about after being scared to death that something had happened to her but my head seems to be all over the place when it comes to her. I put all the groceries away, along with the three bags of ice in the cooler and small freezer. I start removing my shirt as I walk through the small area, my jeans are next as I walk into the bathroom. I stop immediately, my cock already hard from thinking of her luscious naked body, but then I see her through the shower door and my heart stops. She’s under the spray, facing the tiled wall. Her head is bent, the water running down her head, her hair covering her face. I creep in quietly, closing the door gently and stand there for a minute, feeling the heat from the water but mainly staring at her firm ass.

  Finally, I move up behind her, wrapping my arms around her waist. She jumps but then relaxes against me, my cock sliding up and down the crack of that firm ass. “Shhh, kitten. I’m sorry,” I whisper next to her ear feeling horrible for sneaking up on her. She lays her head back against my chest, her wet hair hanging askew around her face. I move my hips so my cock will keep sliding up and down her beautiful body when she suddenly turns, her palms on my chest, pushing me around until my back hits the wall. I’m not that much taller than her but the top of her head hits about my mid nose, enough that she rises on her toes to kiss the line of my jaw. My head tilts back, hitting the tile, as she kisses my neck, down to the center of my chest and then the skin over my heart. I’m about ready to grab her arms and pull her up to me. However, she latches onto a nipple and I about come undone.

  She releases it and kisses her way down. My abs, my stomach and I’m about to stop her, again, when her mouth goes down over my cock. “Fuck!” I moan so loud it echoes in the small area. My hands grab her hair instantly. I manage to open my eyes and look down. Sexiest sight I’ve ever seen. She moves her mouth all the way down, as far as she can, then back up again and then her tongue slides over the slit. I feel her small hand grasp my balls, rolling, kneading, and they begin to tighten. Her mouth continues to slide down and up again, her teeth scraping gently on the tender skin. I’m about to release, feel it coming strong. “Kitten, I’m gonna cum.” I want to be inside her, need to be. As soon as I think that, her other hand moves, and she scrapes my cock with her long fingernails as she hums. The vibration and feelings hit me hard. I start to release fast, so fast. My head hits the tile hard but all I feel is her.

  I look back down as she looks up and smiles, licking her lips. Reaching down, I lift her into my arms, her ankles locking behind me, and I kiss her. Hard. I always thought it would be gross to taste myself on a woman. Not Alena. My emotions are all over the place. I’ve had sex, plenty of it, but no one made me feel like her. No one filled her void, or could replace it. I set her down, releasing her mouth, feeling all emotional from all my thoughts racing around my head. She presses her hands on my arms, pushing me under the spray. I watch her take the soap, lathering it up in her hands and then set it back down on the tray. She begins washing me and I just watch her work. I never knew it could be this way, that I could feel this way. So much love after all the pain we’ve both been through. Suddenly, I feel the need to run, not due to my normal frustration or stress but because of all the emotions coursing through me. It’s like I could burst or some shit. God, I feel like a girl.

  After she finishes washing me, I take my turn, making sure I get every fucking inch of her clean. By the time I’m done, I’m hornier than shit again so I lift her and ram into her simultaneously. She doesn’t seem to mind, judging by her heavy breathing and the way she moves with me. I hold her bottom firmly as I press her against the wall, the heels of her feet purposely pressing against my butt as she rocks. “God! So deep! Ugh!” she screams. I look down, looking at where we are connected, fascinated as I watch my cock move in and out of her. I know exactly how she feels as I plunge in deep then pull out quickly, her rocking spurring me on more until I hear her scream so loudly her voice cracks. Thinking I’ve hurt her, I look at her quickly but what I find is pure bliss on her beautiful face, and I lose it.

  I cover her up in a towel, then turn off the water. Moving up behind her, I look at us in the mirror. Her cheeks are rosy, her smile beyond gorgeous. This is what I’ve always wanted, craved. I lean over and grab another towel and start drying her hair and bend down to her ear. “That was fucking amazing.” She shivers and I stand up, drying her hair faster. I feel her hand on my arm and move the towel down to see her face. She’s smiling.

  “I’m not cold, Jase, just the opposite.” She winks and that just makes my cock hard again. I’ll never get enough of her. I’m lost in thought as we both finish drying and get dressed.

  Morning flew by and now I’m watching her pop a grape in her mouth and take a deep breath as we make lunch. Damn! She’s killing me here. “So, why do you keep calling me kitten?” She asks, practically purring when she speaks.

  I look down, cutting the green peppers and hoping her distraction doesn’t make me cut my finger off. It quite possibly could. “Well, you purr like a kitten when I touch you.” My eyes move to her and find her leaning against the counter, popping another grape in her mouth. “You scratch me with your fingernails when you climax.” I look back down, my cock aching for her. “And when you scream my name, there’s more purring in the sound of your voice.” I shift my gaze back to her and see her smiling, licking her fingers. “And if you don’t quit doing that, I’m gonna fuck you right on this counter.” She giggles but when I look at her, she straightens and goes back to cutting up lettuce. I can see her eyes are glazed over.

  I don’t know how we made it to actually having lunch. We should have been more than starving, but after her little playfulness, I grabbed her waist and laid her out on the table. Let’s just say, she purred a bunch before we were done.

  “Go ahead. I wish I could come with you,” she whines, looking all adorable.

  I lean down and kiss her lips then her forehead. “Soon. Your ankle is doing much better but we can’t take the chance of you reinjuring it.” She bats her eyes, and I chuckle. So fuc
king adorable. “I won’t take long. Promise.”

  I walk out the door and turn around, smiling when I hear the lock click. After stretching against the beam on the front porch, I run down the steps and to the side of the cabin, around my truck and head towards the trees. The sun is already low and the air a littler chillier than it was when we arrived here. I need to run. Other than making love with Alena, it’s the only thing that relaxes me and the only other exercise I’m getting. I think we overdid it a little today on the lovemaking. She may be a little sore. I laugh to myself.

  I stop, jogging in place, and see a mostly covered trail and start through it. Running on a trail and even the dirt path is much easier than a rocky and brush filled terrain, it’s making me try harder to maneuver, pushing me. I don’t know how long I’ve been running but sweat is pouring from me, but, I keep going. There’s a little bit of a clearing ahead, a small break in the trees, and I run to it. When I come through the opening, I stop, bending over and putting my hands on my knees, trying to catch my breath. I look up, still panting heavily, and smile. A small pond, with a small waterfall pouring down from a rocky cliff. I stand up and look around, covering my eyes from the sun. Trees line around the perimeter, nothing you can see but them for miles around. It’s like its own secluded area and looks like a painting an artist would create. Instead of running over there and jumping in the water, I turn around excited to share the news with Alena.