White Lies and Promises

by Ally Hayes

  “God, those guys are obnoxious!”

  “They must be from the town high school,” Tiffany snorted from behind her gossip magazine.

  “Oh, for sure. In fact, I think a couple of them are supposed to be ‘stars’ on the football team or something.” Morgan had pulled up her sunglasses to get a better look.

  “Basketball,” Jackie added meekly, glad that Brianna was at Sydney’s Cape Cod house for the weekend.

  “Oh, that’s right. Jackie knows them. Family friends or something, right?”

  “Something like that,” she answered. “Hey, who wants a coke?” Jackie stood up, trying to cause a diversion before the conversation about Matt went any further.

  Matt still had no idea the girls were there and continued to horse around. He tried to pull down Brian’s trunks while also avoiding getting drowned by Joey. Dave performed cannonballs until one got too close to some little kids.

  A whistle blew.

  “Okay, tough guys, out for rough-housing,” the tan, preppy-looking lifeguard yelled while giving the “ejected” sign with his thumb to Matt and his friends.

  “We were just leaving anyway. This pool is lame,” Joey announced, clearly humiliated but trying to act tough. They heaved themselves out of the water and toward their belongings piled near the entrance.

  Jackie was still over at the snack stand finishing her drink. She was unavoidable, but she tried to make herself invisible behind an umbrella. She tried to divert her friends’ attention by pointing out someone’s cute shirt, but it was hopeless. It always was.

  Without any forethought or inner censor, Matt blurted out what his hormones were screaming when he spotted her.

  “Jackie!”

  They both stared at each other in surprise at his yelling, neither knowing what to say in front of everyone. Matt wanted to reach out and embrace her; she wanted to turn invisible.“Um, hi, Matthew. Nice to see you,” she managed. What else could she do? Her friends’ stares were boring holes through her terrycloth cover-up. The lifeguard was watching, too, waiting for the boys to leave. He was a senior at her high school; Jackie knew him vaguely.

  “Hey, what a coincidence. Do you girls want to come with us? We were just on our way out,” Matt asked innocently. He immediately became excited at the thought of all of them going back to Joey’s house to hang out. He was picturing it perfectly. However, the girls from Crestwood Prep could not.

  “I think you mean you were just asked to leave,” Tiffany corrected.

  “Whatever,” Joey interjected quickly.

  “Well, anyway, how about it, Jac. Wanna come with us?” Matt asked as if not recently burned by her friends.

  “Uh, I can’t, Matt. I uh, um…”

  “What Jackie is trying to say is that she doesn’t have to leave. She is still welcome here, unlike you and your hoodlums. I mean friends, of course,” Morgan announced smugly.

  “No, Matt, it’s just that, well…” Jackie kept her eyes on the concrete ground.

  “No, Jackie, I got it. See ya around.” Matt threw his damp towel around his neck and headed out through the gate.

  It took forever for Wednesday to arrive. Of course, Jackie had chosen studio time over working on Monday. Matt never expected her to be in the car on Monday. He had hoped, but not expected. So when Patty’s car pulled up on Wednesday, Matt got in tentatively, still unsure of how he was going to act when he saw her. He had anticipated the cold shoulder and some of her overly polite fake crap he hated, even braced himself for it as he closed the door and said good morning. Jackie could not have been nicer and more genuine. Initially, he was in shock. She acted like nothing had ever happened, and soon he relaxed, assuming he was off the hook. Only later, with her mother out of earshot, did Jackie finally address the events of the previous weekend.

  “Listen, Matt, I’m sorry about blowing you off the other day at the pool. That was really childish of me,” Jackie explained as they applied a solution to wallpaper that was refusing to release from the wall.

  “No, it was all me and my stupid friends. They embarrassed you, and I don’t think we ever had any points to lose with your friends in the first place.” Matt wanted to apologize but also add his recognition of her stuck-up friends’ view on his group. He wasn’t naïve and didn’t want her to think their behavior escaped his notice either.

  “Oh, no. Well,” Jackie stammered. Not knowing what else to say, she lowered her eyes, though neither of them had yet to make direct eye contact.

  “Yeah, I know.”

  “It’s just that they don’t understand.”

  “Understand what?” he dared ask.

  “You know, this, us.”

  “Right,” Matt said. He never knew what to call “this” either and always avoided traveling down the labeling road. Even now, were they an “us” again? He liked this flirty situation they were in now and hoped it was heading where it usually did in the past.

  “Start over?” he suggested.

  “Oh, Matt,” she sighed, “don’t we always?”

  He lightly punched her in the shoulder. She swatted him back, and so another round began that summer.

  On a rainy and damp Friday a week later, Jackie and Matt ran from the car into the job site house to avoid being soaked. Matt immediately knew something would change that day. Jackie was not wearing her usual work attire of shorts and a large T-shirt. She had arrived in overalls over a tank top, and he was sure not only Jackie herself but her mother would notice how crazy she was making him that morning. It had to be today. He had to kiss her and get this going. He was dying of horniness. She didn’t seem to notice the torture she was invoking. Or maybe she did.

  They were on again, but Jackie was taking it slow—too slow. He recalled how they’d attacked each other back in eighth grade and hoped they’d soon be back to those activities again. With her mother always close by, it was hard to imagine, yet he tried.

  “What do you want to do for lunch?” Jackie asked Matt without looking up from scraping the glue-encrusted wall.

  “Whatever you want.” Matt was prepared to let her take the lead, anything to make her happy and comfortable and then willing.

  “Okay. Well, I have to use the bathroom. I’ll call for a pizza first. Might as well stay inside with all the rain.” She left the room, and it suddenly seemed very lonely to Matt.

  She came back after what felt like a very long absence, still trying to attach the hook to her overalls. She seemed to be having some sort of difficulty.

  “Ugh, I’ve been trying forever. I cannot get this to connect.” While she muttered this to herself, Matt took it as a direct request to assist. He walked over and picked up the dangling garment.

  “Here, I know what the problem is.” Matt walked over to her and took the straps from her hand.

  He hadn’t been this close to her in quite a while, and he felt dizzy. He hoped his breath was okay. Jackie’s own breath seemed to be caught in her throat.

  “Um, thanks,” she whispered while he continued to fumble and struggle with the clasp.

  “Wow, this thing is like a booby trap—literally!” They both cracked up. When they finished laughing, they froze in place, face to face as he held the stubborn strap to her overalls. He wanted to just lean in and go for it, but he wished she would initiate this time. For a second, it looked like she might. Was she putting her hand on his waist? Maybe? Okay, he thought, I’ll meet her halfway.

  “Oh my!” Patty exclaimed. She was standing in the doorway holding a pizza box.

  “Mom, seriously, it is not what you think. My strap broke, see?” Jackie pointed to the overall strap, still in Matt’s fist.

  “Mrs. Hamilton, really, nothing happened.”

  “Mom, please say something.”

  “I didn’t believe Ann. I thought, oh dear.”

  “Mom, sit down. We’ll explain.” Jackie had broken free of Matt and came to her mother’s side. She guided her to a drop-cloth covered sofa in the middle of the room and took the piz
za box from her hands.

  Patty found herself staring in disbelief as she listened to two fifteen year olds attempt to comfort her in this state of shock which they had created.

  “First of all, nothing was happening just now, I swear.”

  “Me, too. I swear nothing was happening. Nothing has been going on here at work. Totally professional.” Matt had to think of his paycheck, as well as his reputation.

  Patty felt a bit relieved; however, she sensed a “but” about to be dropped in this seemingly easy explanation.

  “But,” Jackie began.

  “Jackie, don’t!” Matt interjected, but it was too late.

  “No, I’m going to tell her the truth or she will never trust me.” She pointed at Matt. “Or you, for that matter.”

  “Yes, Jackie, that’s right. Please tell me everything, I think.” Patty rubbed her temples in headache fashion.

  “Okay, well, again nothing was happening just now, but Matt and I have sort of dated or whatever a bit in the past.”

  “Nothing major, but I mean, we were calling and seeing each other and stuff,” Matt added.

  “And stuff?” Patty asked with the accompanying raised eyebrow.

  Jackie cringed but recovered. “Oh, Mom, that’s just how boys talk. We’ve talked on the phone and hung out a few times—with our friends, of course.”

  “And now?” Patty asked.

  “Well, now? I don’t know, I guess so.”

  “Yes,” Matt replied, nodding his head and then realized this was his opportunity to make good. “I mean, with your approval that is, I’d like to see Jackie with your permission.” Matt had switched to his talk-to-parents voice. It was known to work wonders.

  “Please, Mom. You understand?”

  “I guess there’s no point in saying no anyway. You’ll just go sneak behind my back. And you’re both old enough to date now.”

  “Thank you.”

  “Yes, thank you,” Matt echoed and hoped Jackie knew that he was thanking her as well.

  “Okay, just let me know where you are going. Honesty from the start.”

  “You got it. How’s about we start with Sixty-One Sycamore for lunch—pizza.” Jackie’s mood lightened instantly.

  “Does that make me a third wheel?” Patty decided playing along would be the best course of action in something she would have little control over. Having to deal with Ann was going to be more of a challenge.

  Matt wasn’t thrilled about the new “tell all” policy, but he didn’t dare voice his feelings to Jackie; he just hoped she’d figure it out. It was better than nothing, and nothing had been killing him. But at work it always felt as if Patty was watching him, trying to catch him up to something, anything. And Jackie was more cautious than ever.

  By the Fourth of July they had been to two movies, out for pizza, peeled paint, removed stain, and replaced doors but had yet to be alone. They’d caught up to their previous level of eighth-grade kissing and exploring but hadn’t yet had the opportunity to move things along. Matt desperately wanted the situation to change and quickly.

  From her family vacation, she sent letters expressing how much she missed him and couldn’t wait to see him, signing them all with “Luv” or a heart before her perfectly penned signature. He could feel the angst and hoped his mother’s teasing of “absence makes the heart grow fonder”’ was correct. For Matt, it was causing more horniness, and he wished the same for her, for his sake. They had already made plans for the night after she returned on the tenth.

  On her way to the kitchen for a drink, Melanie snickered as she walked by the den. The door was closed, a telltale sign right there; the rustling of clothes and the unmistakable sounds of struggling, pleasure, and longing seeped out. She took a can of soda and flipped through a magazine at the kitchen table while she watched the clock and tried not to listen too closely.

  “C’mon, Jackie,” Matt pleaded as his brave hand was shooed away from the forbidden zone below her waistline. His words were mumbled; they had not stopped kissing since they were left alone on the couch forty minutes earlier. From making out sitting up, they had progressed to Matt lying on top of Jackie on the old plaid sofa. Their clothes were all still on, but they had managed to discover some new territory despite the T-shirts and shorts. Matt felt certain he would be welcome to continue the exploration.

  “Uh, uh,” Jackie half-heartedly replied. However, when Matt’s wayward, naughty appendage resumed its mission, she sent the message loud and clear by picking up his hand and placing it on her shoulder. But she never stopped kissing him the entire time.

  “Jackie,” he whispered. He was ready to plead and beg for more when they were suddenly, but politely, interrupted by a knock on the door.

  “Movie’s over,” Melanie’s voice announced. She was then to drive the couple back to the location where Jackie’s parents thought they were. Melanie would drop them off at the movie theater a good fifteen minutes before Patty was scheduled to pick the two up, dropping Matt off along the way. The pretense was all for Jackie. Matt’s parents thought it sufficient when he simply said he was “going out.”

  The detour had been a surprise to Jackie and Matt as well. He thought it up quickly that afternoon when he heard his mother announce she was going to dinner and to hear a band in the city with some old friends. He and Jackie had already made plans for a movie, but the thought of another frustrating evening in the dark got his hormones thinking deviously.

  Melanie was home studying for an exam that would hopefully enable her to graduate college sometime in the near future. Her chauffeur position and sealed lips cost him thirty-five dollars. More expensive than a movie but well worth the payoff. Except for the stop sign posted at Jackie’s bellybutton, it had been a good night.

  ***

  “We need to do it now!” Jackie exclaimed as she entered the yet-to-be-finished room. It should have at least have been primed by now.

  “That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you all summer.”

  With the first innuendo of the day made at eight-forty-five, the day seemed promising to Matt. Patty had just announced she was running over to the paint store to replace a forgotten drop cloth. This gave them roughly thirty minutes alone, according to Matt’s estimation. Obviously, Jackie had failed to notice the lack of parental supervision, so he figured he’d have to make the first move. He walked up behind her and put his arms around her waist, sliding his hands into the front pockets of his now favorite outfit.

  “Matt!”

  “What? Oh, lighten up, we’ve got time.”

  “Right, she expects this room to be cleared out you know. She’ll know we were up to something if it’s not,” Jackie said while extricating his hand from her overalls but stopping before totally separating. She turned around to face him in an embrace where she was known to lose her resolve in the past.

  “Okay, a quickie then?”

  “Matt, you’re impossible. When are you going to stop pressuring me?” she teased.

  “When you stop driving me crazy.” He gave her ear a quick kiss. “Which will be never.”

  He returned to her ear and seemed to get her attention. Soon they were pressing into each other while pulling the other with urgency. Jackie knew the risk involved when she would do this, and one of these days neither would be able to stop. She was afraid Matt would forever be unable to take no for answer, and she herself wasn’t sure she could keep saying it.

  “Jackie, oh God, I want you so bad. Can’t you see? This is killing me.”

  “I know, but you know, too. We’ve be through this. You’re aware of my stance on this. Now come on and get your frustration out by lifting this table with me.”

  As they brought the last and heaviest piece down the stairs, he surprised her by bringing up the subject again. She was under the impression they had come to an understanding, and that he understood and was clear on her position and feelings. They had spent an hour on the phone the other night discussing it. “It” of course, being �
��it.”

  “Okay, how about this? I’ll get you one of those promise ring things all the girls like.”

  “A claddagh ring?” Jackie tried not to sound as intrigued as she felt.

  “Yeah, the one with the hands, crown, and heart? That’s it.”

  “Matt, if you think you can bribe me with jewelry to sleep with you then you don’t know me at all.”

  Matt laughed. “Your eyes totally lit up when I mentioned it though.”

  “This is me rolling those eyes now. For the record though, I do like those rings.”

  “Aha! I found a weakness.”

  “And I can drop this table on yours. I think you need your toes for basketball.”

  “Fine, just tell me again why you want to wait,” Matt pleaded.

  “Watch your foot. You know, I want to wait until I’m eighteen. Until we’re eighteen that is. Why can’t you understand that? I don’t think that’s so unreasonable.”

  “No, I get it. It just feels unreasonable sometimes.”

  “I know. I’m sorry.” Jackie took a deep breath. “I meant it the other night, Matt. I won’t until then, and I know it’s asking a lot to wait for me, but I hope you will.”

  “You know I will, Jackie. I promise.”

  “Me too, thank you.”

  “All set up there?” a familiar voice followed the sound of a door closing. Patty had been announcing herself these days.

  ***

  Patty pulled up to the Foster’s house to drop off Matt as usual, but this afternoon would be anything but a typical drop-off.

  Ann was waiting at the end of the driveway; Patty could tell she was upset. She slowed and parked, but did not get out of the car, hoping she was merely greeting her son with some news. Ann approached the car, and Patty lowered her window.

  “Well, there’s the hardworking bunch. How was your day?” Ann asked, obviously forcing a smile for the carful. No one knew what to do. Ann poked her head farther into the car.