White Lies and Promises

by Ally Hayes

  “Got a minute?” she asked Patty and then turned to the kids. “Why don’t you two go in and have a soda or something, cool off for a bit.”

  “Sure Ma. C’mon, Jackie, let’s go see what we can find.” Matt and Jackie disappeared into the house and once out of sight, Ann opened the door and sat in Patty’s passenger seat, letting out a deep sigh.

  “Oh, Ann, what’s wrong?”

  “I’m not sure, and I hope I’m just overreacting, but I think Bill is in trouble.” Ann sniffed.

  “What do you mean? Real trouble, like legal?” Patty panicked slightly.

  “Maybe, I don’t know. I found some statements. I thought I paid all the bills, but apparently, he has some debt I didn’t even know about. Loans he took out, and though I don’t know for sure, I think he’s defaulted on them? What do I do?”

  “Well, for one, you have to talk to him. He needs to tell you the truth before you can discuss debt consolidation and possibly bankruptcy if it has gone that far. You don’t know what you’re dealing with yet. I’m sorry. You have to start with confronting him though.” Patty sounded like the lawyer she might have been.

  “Talking to him is going to be hard.”

  “I know, but remember, you did nothing wrong. Just approach him gently.”

  “No, I mean it’s going to be hard to talk to him since he hasn’t been home.”

  “What?” Patty unintentionally gasped.

  “Well, last night at least, he never came home. The night before he came home at some point and left before the crack of dawn. He’s avoiding me. That’s what got me snooping.”

  “I’m sorry to say I understand,” Patty said.

  “I know, and I feared telling you and opening wounds but …” Ann started to cry a bit.

  Patty leaned over the console and gave Ann a hug. “No, don’t think twice about coming to me. We’ll get through this.”

  “You’re right. Well, I better go break up whatever is going on in my house.” Ann tried to lighten the mood with an eye roll.

  “Oh, let’s not go there. That’s a discussion for another day,” said Patty, trying to halt any talk of the kids’ relationship.

  “Okay, but for the record, I’m thrilled they are together. Jackie is great, and Matt seems so happy these days.

  “Well, understand it’s not easy for me, but they do seem good together, and they appear to be acting responsibly.”

  “We can only hope!”

  Patty held up both hands. “Okay, stop, that’s enough!”

  As Matt and Jackie were heading into the house, Joey called over to them.

  “Hey, you guys are coming Friday, right?”

  “Wouldn’t miss it, Joe. I’ll see you later to beat you at some hoops,” Matt called over to let him know they weren’t coming over to chat just now.

  Inside the house, with sweating cans of soda in front of them, Matt realized he was going to have to come clean about Joey’s party. His original plan was to surprise her and come up with an excuse to get her there. He hadn’t figured one out yet, but that was moot now.

  “So, you’re going to Joey’s this weekend?”

  “Well, with you, right?” Matt had to think quickly. “He’s having a little get-together. It will be a blast.”

  “I don’t know how I’ll be able to get away with it. Plus, Joey doesn’t care if I’m there or not.” And neither will you, thought Jackie.

  Just when she felt like they were a real couple when they were together, he had started talking about his friends in the past week or so. Not that she didn’t like his friends; it was just he acted so differently when he was with them. When she and Matt were alone, it was perfect. He was no great conversationalist, but what fifteen-year-old boy was?

  Anyway, he wasn’t much for talking at all when they were alone. Lately, it was all about getting action. This was the word all the girls at school were using to describe sex or anything relating to it. She had hoped that this weekend they might go somewhere public—not the movies again—where they could be a couple and talk and laugh, not grope. She wanted to prove to herself that they were truly “going out,” not just hooking up when it was convenient. She needed affirmation, not a party.

  She suddenly felt suspicious. Why hadn’t he asked her earlier? He must have known about it. People knew about parties in advance, planned for them even. Was he going to hide it and not ask her?

  In truth, Joey had in fact planned it in advance. Matt just didn’t remember, and it took him by surprise the night before when he brought it up.

  “So, you psyched for Friday night?” Joey had asked while they played basketball in his driveway.

  “For what?”

  “Jesus, you’re a riot,” Joey answered as he missed a layup.

  “Dude, seriously, I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Matt confessed.

  “Shouldn’t be surprised, since all you do is talk about and hang out with Princess. She must finally be putting out.”

  “Shut up.” Matt nailed a free throw.

  “Friday night, big bash at my place. Remember now? Folks are staying downtown on a gift certificate. They think I’m staying at your house. My sisters think they’re having ‘friends over.’ What’s your story?”

  “I don’t need one. I call my own shots. Watch, three-pointer.” Swoosh. Matt felt like he had recovered.

  Now a day later, he didn’t know how to play this game with Jackie.

  “Can’t you just say you’re going to Sydney’s house?” Matt pleaded.

  “How will I get to Joey’s and back, even if I do lie?” Jackie was torn, as usual, between her head and her heart.

  “Leave it to me. Just tell your mom that Melissa will pick you up from class or studio, whatever it is you have that afternoon. I’ll work out the details.”

  “I don’t know.”

  “Please, it’s going to cost me buying Mel the new U2 album—that’s how much I want you to be there.”

  “Fine.” Jackie gave in again.

  ***

  Patty started to lift her left wrist to check the time again but immediately put it back down by her side, realizing it couldn’t possibly be more than thirty seconds since she last made this same motion.

  Where was he?

  Where was she?

  How had it come to this?

  Patty had been walking aimlessly around the house ever since the made-for-television movie had ended at ten p.m. Not that she could recall what had happened to Melissa Gilbert’s character despite staring at the screen motionless for the two lonely hours. Now she couldn’t sit still, and the mug of tea she grasped had grown cold. She walked into Robert’s study to replace the liquid with a more effective relaxant. Scotch in her left hand, she placed the mug in the kitchen sink and leaned up against the counter. Only hours ago, earlier that morning, the three stood right here appearing like a normal family.

  “What’s on everyone’s agenda today?” Patty had asked innocently.

  “I have class this morning then studio time this afternoon. Matt’s sister, Melanie, is picking me up there and we’re meeting a bunch of people at Pizza Castle. It’s actually a surprise party for her—I’m the cover. I won’t be late, but I’ll have had dinner.”

  “That reminds me, I might be, too. Well, not that late, but don’t wait dinner for me either,” Robert added.

  “Oh?”

  “Nothing major, just a small reception I have to attend,” he offered when pressed by Patty’s raised eyebrows.

  Patty threw her hands up in the air. “Oh well, I guess I’ll just have cereal in front of TV.” How unassuming she had been this morning. How differently she felt right now.

  After a few lies and finally seeing Matt’s mother’s sedan leave their driveway, Jackie began to loosen up a bit. They were at Joey’s setting up for the usual basement party. Matt was giving Jackie all the attention he had been craving while Joe set up the stereo, and the twins and Barone girls emptied bags of corn chips and cheese balls into plast
ic bowls. The first to arrive were older kids, and Matt never wavered in his attention to Jackie. She was glad she came and was feeling better about the decision.

  Soon, though, his buddies showed up, and Matt had to field the usual questions of where he had been all summer. That quickly launched into Matt-praising and speculating on the basketball season, though months ahead, and it was clear to Jackie that he was a big deal at school and on the court. She found herself nodding politely and laughing when she thought she was supposed to but was cringing on the inside. By nine o’clock, she was wandering the basement alone.

  After an eternity of talking to an eighth grader who knew a friend of a friend, Jackie excused herself to search for Matt. She found him standing in a circle of boys all counting down, “3-2-1.” At once, they all leaned over then quickly snapped their heads up in unison with their mouths now affixed to the bottom of a beer can. The sounds of cans popping open echoed as the music had been turned off to give full attention to the event.

  “Chug, chug, chug.”

  Jackie spun around to see the spectators who had gathered. They were all encouraging the shot-gun crew. It was over in less than a minute. Belching and high fives followed. Matt spotted her bewildered face. He gave a big grin but didn’t leave the group of boys. He did look back at her, though, as he walked away with them toward the ping-pong table.

  Tears welling, she didn’t dare look down at her watch for fear a tear would escape, but she knew it was time to go, regardless of what any clock read. She had to find Melissa, so she began asking around the now-packed room. At least it gave her something to do. No one seemed to know where she had gone, and Jackie began to panic when Matt suddenly appeared.

  “Looking for me?” he slurred.

  “Absolutely not. I need to find your sister,” Jackie snapped.

  “Oh, too bad. She’s unavailable at the moment. Hows about you and I get ‘unavailable,’ too?”

  She pushed his hands off her waist the instant they landed there.

  “What’s the matter with you?” He seemed genuinely surprised, which only angered her more. There were dribbles all over his shirt, irritating her. How many of those beers had he had?

  “You practically beg me to come out with you and your friends, but then you ignore me. You know I don’t know anyone, you make me lie to my parents, and then you get wasted and act like I’m not even here. It’s like you are two different people sometimes. I don’t like this, Matt.”

  “Jackie, that’s not fair. I get to be with my boys, don’t I? Have some fun?”

  “Of course, but next time don’t bother dragging me along to watch you guzzle or chug or whatever that sloppy stunt was.”

  “Shotgunning. You should try it, loosen up a bit. It’s summer. We’re in high school, remember?”

  “I need to get home.”

  “You’re no fun, you know that?” Matt dared.

  “That’s not what you think when it’s just the two of us.”

  “Then let’s go be just the two of us.” He pulled her in close and began kissing her right there by the stairs. She tried to struggle free and push him away, but he was just so strong and determined to get his way. She gave in a little to the kissing, hoping he’d lighten up a bit and it would all blow over. It didn’t. It only encouraged his drunken stupidity. He put his hand down the back of her short shorts and tried to reach around.

  “Matt, no!” Jackie yelled, but still no one noticed.

  “C’mon, you tease, you know you want me. Let’s go upstairs.”

  Slap. Now everyone noticed.

  They both stood staring at each other in shock. There were gasps, giggling, and even a few claps from the partygoers, but not a word was uttered between Matt and Jackie.

  ***

  Each time Robert made the long drive from her city apartment to his suburban house, he grappled with the same thoughts and questioned himself endlessly. Torturing himself to the point that when he arrived home, it really didn’t seem worth all the worrying it involved.

  Sure, the attention, and of course the sex, were undeniably fantastic. She provided an outlet for him he couldn’t find otherwise in his life, but more than that, she made him part of that elite group he had always envied. The playing field was leveled now, and with nothing separating him from them, he no longer felt intimidated by those guys he had emulated. He began to take on a pompous air, and it could be seen in his confident strut in the days and weeks following the onset of the affair. More than mere confidence, he exuded superiority to anyone he felt beneath him. All because he was getting a little piece on the side.

  Now, two years and several thousand dollars into it, he was losing his foothold. Sure the welcome by his colleagues for having acquired another “finer thing” had been worth any risk he might have felt he was taking, but he never really did consider it a risk until lately. His life in the city—work, the club, and his friends—were always just his and separate from his family. Patty had never been a part of that scene, so to add Stacia didn’t seem like a risk. She was just another notch in his social bedpost. At least, that’s how it started out.

  The first meeting actually required much less anxiety than he brought with him that evening. Though she never said either way, Robert got the impression this was not her first setup. He arrived at her apartment, a posh modern studio—leather, chrome, and glass—prepared to meet an attractive, independent woman looking to add a little excitement to her life.

  Stacia opened the door with the hand not holding the vodka on the rocks and gave a sinister smile. After sizing him up, she simply said, “Come on in, Robert.”

  That’s when he should have turned and walked away. It was going to be more difficult now.

  She was leggy and curvy in all the right places, but behind those piercing blue eyes was an agenda he should have seen. With no time to think, he was on her couch with a matching drink, and she was loosening his tie while they exchanged the bear minimum of information. This was no typical first date; this was first sex.

  “So, you’re okay with this arrangement?” Robert could find no other appropriate words in his otherwise vast vocabulary.

  “Of course.” Stacia laughed lightly as if she already knew something he didn’t.

  “Should we have dinner and get to know one another tonight?” Not that he cared. It just seemed like the right thing to ask. Also, he knew she would decline.

  “I think there are better ways of getting acquainted.”

  Having finished with his tie, she began to unbutton his shirt and hers—one button for him, two for her—until they were reduced to bare chest and black, strapless push-up bra.

  She undid his pants, cast off her skirt, and straddled him there on the couch. She bent down to his meet his mouth and he gasped.

  “What about protection?”

  “Don’t worry, you won’t knock me up.” She placed his hands on her breasts.

  Unsure and unconvinced, he pulled away. “I don’t think I’m comfortable with that,” Robert confessed.

  “Fine, wear a condom. It’s your loss, not mine.”

  Satisfied and sheathed, he relaxed and let himself be raptured right there on the couch and later on her monstrous bed.

  Not knowing how long he was expected to stick around post-tryst, he attempted small talk, but she caught him glancing at the bedside clock.

  “Oh, don’t bother with the formalities on my account. You’re free to go whenever you want.”

  “It’s not that. It’s just a long drive.”

  “Spare me the details, Robert. I’m not going to ever give you a tough time—only a good time. Remember that.”

  Now, months later, he remembered her words and how easy she made it for him. At first.

  Tonight had been different, yet he’d been expecting this behavior for a while.

  “Don’t go,” she had whispered.

  “You know I have to, Stacia.”

  “I get so lonely, and she doesn’t care. You said yourself she’s
usually asleep when you get home anyway.”

  Patty was usually asleep or at least up in bed reading those Tuesday nights. Tonight was Friday, though. Maybe she wanted to do something, watch a dumb movie. Stacia had talked him into coming over tonight. He rarely wavered from his Tuesday “racquetball” nights, but she had promised him something special if he came over. Her surprise was great, but now it was over and the real-life clock had begun to tick again.

  He got out of the tangled sheets and gathered his clothes to head to the bathroom. She surprised him again while he was shampooing.

  “Don’t go,” she whispered from behind.

  “Twenty minutes, that’s all I’ve got,” Robert conceded.

  At ten-thirty, as he was pulling up into his driveway, he saw the light on in his study. Robert knew Patty was waiting up for him.

  How had it gotten this far?

  “I know, I know it’s late, and I should have called. It was one thing after another today, then I got dragged to a surprise retirement party for Phil. I left that relatively early but got stuck in traffic—some construction accident.” Robert sounded like he could go on and on if prompted, but the look on Patty’s face told him to cut his losses.

  “I hope you had a nice time.” She opted for cool and collected tonight. She’d had a lot of time to prepare.

  “Not really,” he replied honestly for a change.

  “Maybe you’ll remember that next time.” Her words hung there, stinging until he broke the silence a good while later.

  “You didn’t have to wait up.”

  “Jacqueline is not home yet.” She hated to say it aloud, but he would figure it out eventually.

  “What do you mean? Where is she? It’s late. Is she with him?” Tonight’s issue was no longer about him.

  “I’m not sure. I think she lied to me.” Patty wanted to add “too” but felt it unnecessary.

  “You are her mother, not her friend. You control who she sees and what she is doing, do you hear me?”

  “Oh, I know all about control.”

  Who knew where it would have gone from there if the phone had not rung at that precise moment.

  Robert picked it up on the second ring.