Attack of the Demon Dinner Ladies

by Pamela Butchart

  Jodi looked at me with her SERIOUS EYES and nodded once. I nodded back. And then she turned the big round door handle and we were in!

  We weren’t inside the dark, creepy room for long before we heard the door open again.

  I grabbed Jodi’s arm.

  But then Jodi whispered, “Don’t worry, it’ll be Maisie. She probably got scared at her look-out post and came to find us.”

  But then ALL THE LIGHTS WENT ON and Jodi and I had to drop to the floor and roll under the bookshelves. And I was SO PLEASED that Jodi had made us do COMBAT TRAINING at her house that time or I would not have known how to DROP AND ROLL.

  I tried not to panic as I heard HIGH HEELS coming toward us. I looked at Jodi and her eyes were WIDE and I knew that it was because Maisie does not wear high heels even though she is very small because pupils are not ALLOWED high heels.

  The high-heel noise came closer, and closer, and closer, until it was RIGHT BESIDE OUR HEADS!

  I knew it was probably the scary Deputy Head because she’s the only one who wears high heels in our school (except for the office ladies) and the librarian wears shoes she made herself out of only wool.

  I shut my eyes tight and held my breath so the Deputy Head wouldn’t hear me. And it must have worked because she started walking away and then all the lights went out and the door shut again.

  But then we heard a loud noise and me and Jodi both gasped and stared at each other because we both knew that it was the sound of the door locking.

  Then Jodi said, “IZZY! I’m so sorry!”

  And I KNEW what she was about to say next. And I was right because then Jodi said, “I left the key in the lock!”

  And that’s when we realised we were going to be locked in the dark, creepy library all night.

  We RAN over to the door and tried to open it even though we knew it was locked which it WAS.

  So we banged on the glass of the doors to get Zach’s or Maisie’s or ANYONE’S attention. We didn’t CARE if we got into trouble because we didn’t want to be locked in the library overnight, especially because there was a DEMON DINNER LADY and her DEMON ARMY just down the hall!

  But no one came. Not even Zach or Maisie even though we were banging REALLY loudly.

  I started to panic that no one would ever hear us and loads of ghosts from the old books would come slipping out from between the pages as soon as it got dark. So that’s when I decided to

  and go behind the librarian’s desk and use the school phone to phone my dad so he could come and get us out. Because my dad’s a plumber and he keeps his phone on LOUD all the time in case there’s been a

  and he has tools in his van so he would definitely be able to get us out.

  But before I could finish dialling all of the numbers the phone started to ring on the other end and a woman answered and said, “Hello?”

  And I said, “Mum? Is that you?”

  And the voice said, “Who is this?!”

  And I got such a fright because the voice sounded SCARY and I knew it definitely WASN’T my mum so I just hung up.

  So that’s when Jodi said we should try to phone my dad again and that I should put it on SPEAKER PHONE this time so that she could hear too. So I did. But the phone connected and started ringing before I could finish dialling all the numbers again. And the scary lady answered AGAIN. So we didn’t say anything.

  And that’s when the scary lady said, “I know EXACTLY what you’re up to, you know. I’m on my way.”

  And that’s when Jodi gasped and pointed to the little screen on the phone and the words that said we were connected to the SCHOOL CANTEEN!

  Jodi GRABBED the phone out of my hand and hung up.

  Then she grabbed my face with both of her hands and shouted, “She knows about the book! She knows we’re looking for it. She’s on her way to GET US! We have to get OUT!”

  That’s when Jodi LOST IT. She began knocking EVERYTHING off the librarian’s desk on to the floor and raking through the drawers until she found something and shouted, “YES!”

  Jodi grabbed me and pulled me over to the door and that’s when I saw that she’d found a SPARE KEY.

  Jodi unlocked the door and we both RAN down the corridor. But then all of a sudden Jodi ran BACK and disappeared into the library.

  I couldn’t BELIEVE what was happening!

  That’s when I heard the footsteps. It was the demon dinner lady. She was coming for us!

  I didn’t know what to do and the footsteps were getting closer and closer so I coughed REALLY LOUDLY three times in a row and when that didn’t work I shouted,

  and that’s when Jodi came BURSTING out of the library and we both ran FULL SPEED down the corridor.

  We burst through the front doors into the car park and that’s when we saw Zach and Maisie standing with the Deputy Head. And we realised that the Deputy Head must have found them in the corridor and made them come outside to wait for their mums to pick them up. And that that was why they hadn’t heard us banging.

  Mrs Seith looked RIGHT AT ME and said, “Table-tennis club finished early today. Where exactly have you been since then?”

  I had NO IDEA what to say and I thought we were about to get

  for breaking into the library.

  But then Jodi said, “We were in the toilet, Miss. I’ve got a sore stomach.”

  The Deputy Head looked at us with her “I DON’T BELIEVE THAT FOR A SECOND” eyes. And then she looked down at Jodi’s stomach and her eyes went all scrunched up like she was trying to see something.

  But then Jodi RAN down the steps because her mum had just driven into the car park. Jodi didn’t even wave goodbye, she just LEAPED into the car before Mrs Seith could say anything else.

  And that’s when I realised why Jodi had run back to the library. AND why the Deputy Head had looked at Jodi’s stomach strangely.

  Jodi had gone back to get the scary book and stuck it up her jumper!

  The next day we all met in The Den at lunch because we couldn’t risk going to the dinner hall.

  That’s when Jodi showed us the scary library book.

  Jodi said that she’d read LOADS of it last night and that she was basically an EXPERT now. Then Zach said that he was an EXPERT too because he’d read it first.

  And I said, “I forgot to bring my chemistry set.”

  But Jodi said that it didn’t matter about my chemistry set because there was NO ANTIDOTE in the book.

  And then she looked down at the ground and said, “I think it’s too late for Amy.”

  But Zach said that it WASN’T too late and that we needed to find ANOTHER book about demons, one that had information about demon antidotes that you could eat or drink or rub on your demony skin.

  So that’s when I said that we needed to forget about Amy now and focus on making a plan to stop the demon dinner lady from poisoning the whole school.

  But Zach wouldn’t stop talking about Amy. It was like he was

  with her or something.

  And I was starting to get a bit ANNOYED because we hardly even KNEW Amy but Zach seemed to like her better than he liked ME and I have known him since I was a baby!

  Zach said that he would NOT forget about Amy EVER and that we needed to rescue her from the demon dinner ladies. And then he said that I was being MEAN and that it wasn’t nice just to FORGET about a person because they had been got by demon dinner ladies.

  So that’s when I explained that I wasn’t being mean, actually, and that I’d only said it because Amy had already been DINNER-LADIED and there was no cure for that, so there wasn’t anything else we could do for her.

  Then Jodi started patting Zach’s shoulder and saying stuff like, “You need to remember that we’re at WAR, Zach,” and “Sometimes you have to sacrifice one soul to save the world.”

  Then Jodi stood up and said that time was RUNNING OUT and that the demon dinner lady could ATTACK the whole school ANY DAY and that we needed a PLAN.

  And Maisie gulped so loudly I had to check
that she hadn’t accidently swallowed her tongue again.

  Eventually, Zach nodded and said that he understood. And then he stood up too.

  So that’s when I stood up, even though I didn’t really understand why everyone was standing up but I didn’t want to ask.

  Then Zach’s face went a bit weird and I thought he was maybe going to start crying. But he didn’t. He took the library book out of Jodi’s hands and said, “I am NOT going to let the demon dinner lady get away with what she’s done to Amy. Jodi, get the white board. We’re going to make a WAR PLAN!”

  Zach said that it was ONLY A MATTER OF TIME before the demon dinner lady came searching for us and we needed to be ready.

  And that’s when I realised something

  So I said, “Why didn’t the dinner lady just poison Amy if she wanted to stop her from telling everyone that the dinner ladies are demons?”

  I could tell that Jodi and Zach weren’t sure because they didn’t say anything for ages. But then Maisie rolled out from under the stairs where she’d been hiding and whispered,

  And that’s when we realised that Maisie was obviously right. And that the demon dinner lady needed Amy to get close to us because we were PACKED LUNCH PEOPLE!

  That afternoon we all had to go to PE with AMY because our class was doing a TABLE TENNIS TOURNAMENT with the other Year 4 class.

  The table tennis got out of hand really quickly.

  Amy was beating EVERYONE and she was hitting the table-tennis ball so hard and so fast that I was worried she was going to knock someone out.

  That’s when Mr Carlos, our PE teacher, clapped really loud and said, “WOW. You’re on fire today, AMY! What’s got into you?”

  And we all looked at each other because we knew that what had got into her was probably an avocado and that it had given her some sort of SUPER POWERS that made her strong and fast and ANGRY!

  That’s when Mr Carlos said, “Well done, Amy! OK, it’s Maisie up next. Maisie? Is Maisie still here?”

  I looked around for Maisie. I hadn’t even noticed her leave and I had no idea where she’d gone. And that’s when I spotted her foot sticking out from the store cupboard and I realised that she must have tried to hide but fainted before she got all the way through the door.

  So I said, “Maisie’s just gone to the loo, Mr Carlos. I’ll play in her place.” Because I didn’t want Maisie to have to do it.

  That’s when Jodi and Zach turned and STARED at me with their mouths wide open and I knew it was because they were SHOCKED that I’d offered to play table tennis with an almost

  But Jodi had told us in the changing rooms that when we were around Amy we had to do WHATEVER IT TAKES to act NORMAL and not let on that we knew about her. So I didn’t really have a choice, even though my legs were shaking.

  As soon as I took my position at the table and looked at Amy I regretted saying that I’d play. Amy looked FURIOUS.

  Before I even knew what was happening Amy had hit the ball over the net and it WHIZZED past me like lightning.

  That’s when Mr Carlos said, “You’re doing great, Amy. But maybe calm down just a little and give Izzy a chance.”

  But Amy DID NOT calm down and she definitely did NOT give me a chance because the ball hit me right on the HEAD and even though it didn’t hurt very much at all because the ball is basically made of air, I pretended like it did so that I didn’t have to play any more.

  Mr Carlos said that what had happened was an ACCIDENT even though I knew that it definitely WASN’T and that Amy had meant for the table-tennis ball to hit me because she was LIVID.

  That’s when Amy THREW her table-tennis paddle on the ground and stormed out.

  Then Mr Carlos said, “Erm. OK, everyone. That’s enough for today. Go and get changed.”

  And then we watched as he ran after Amy.

  So we got changed as quickly as we could and then grabbed Maisie’s clothes and sneaked back into the gym hall, even though it was dark because Mr Carlos had turned out the lights.

  But Maisie wasn’t in the store cupboard.

  That’s when Jodi whispered, “Where did she go? We’ve only been gone for five minutes!”

  And I didn’t reply because I was shocked that Maisie was GONE!

  But then Zach said, “Shhh. Listen.”

  So we all listened closely.

  And that’s when we heard a little voice say, “Help!”

  It took all three of us to get Maisie out of the basketball bin.

  Once we got her out Maisie told us that she’d woken up and got such a fright that she had fainted again.

  Then Maisie said that she had a nightmare about swimming in the sea with loads of fish who were friendly to begin with but then their eyes had started to glow and they all turned into

  And then she’d woken up and started to crawl out of the store cupboard when she saw Amy and the head demon dinner lady walk into the gym hall!

  Then Maisie said, “There wasn’t much time to hide, so I just jumped into the ball bin.”

  Jodi said that Maisie had been very brave to jump in the ball bin and Maisie nodded her head and we all knew that Maisie had been

  because Maisie HATES the basketballs, especially the smell of them.

  And that’s when Maisie gripped my hands and said, “I heard them talking.”

  And Jodi said, “What did they say, Maisie?”

  And that’s when Maisie said, “The demon dinner lady said she was CROSS with Amy and that she would have to do MUCH better, especially since the

  was almost here!”

  When we got to class, Zach said, “Why was the demon dinner lady cross with Amy?”

  And I knew EXACTLY why.

  So that’s when I said, “Because Amy hasn’t managed to GET TO US yet!”

  And then Zach said, “Well. That means we DEFINITELY won’t be going to THIS then.”

  And that’s when Zach dropped four invitations to Amy’s BIRTHDAY PARTY on our table!

  Zach said that he’d just found them in his tray, and that they hadn’t been there before we went to PE and that Amy must have sneaked them in when we got back to class.

  That’s when Jodi said, “She is SUCH a demon! She’s OBVIOUSLY trying to LURE us to her house so she can feed us POISONOUS BIRTHDAY CAKE!”

  Maisie started shaking again and everyone was getting upset so that’s when I said, “Well, there’s no need to worry about it. We’re obviously not going.”

  And that’s when Jodi leaned over the table and whispered,

  Jodi said that we HAD to go the party because Amy obviously KNEW what the demon dinner lady had planned and WHEN she was going to ATTACK. And that we needed to go to the party to do

  Even though we were all TERRIFIED of going to Amy’s house, Jodi came up with a really good plan which was that we could bring Amy a really

  to DISTRACT her and that when she wasn’t paying attention one of us could sneak around her house for information about the ATTACK.

  But then Maisie said, “What if she POISONS us, Jodi?!”

  But Jodi said that would be FINE as long as we didn’t eat or drink ANYTHING.

  And that’s when Maisie said, “OK. I’ll make the BIRTHDAY PRESENT. But I’m going to need balloons, glue and TONNES AND TONNES OF GLITTER!”

  The next day after school, Maisie’s mum came to pick us up and take us all to Amy’s birthday party.

  When Maisie’s mum drove into the school car park I couldn’t BELIEVE how big her car was! It was more like a BUS than a car.

  That’s when Maisie’s mum said, “COOEEE SUGAR PLUM DUMPLING!” and then she got out of the car and hugged Maisie for ages because Maisie’s mum really misses Maisie when she goes to school or out for the day and she worries that Maisie is going to catch a disease or fall down a hole or run away with the circus. And one time when Maisie stayed over at my house Maisie’s mum phoned my mum EIGHTEEN times when she was watching Emmerdale and eventually my mum just invited Maisie’s mum to come over too and she did.
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  So anyway, that’s when we saw why Maisie’s mum had brought the Big Car and it was because Maisie had finished making Amy’s BIRTHDAY PRESENT last night and it was in the car and it was HUGE!

  That’s when Jodi said, “Maisie, what is it? What did you make?”

  And Maisie and her mum smiled. And then Maisie said, “Something that will definitely DISTRACT Amy!” And then she winked at us and jumped into the car. And we all giggled a bit because we’d never seen Maisie wink before and it was funny.

  When we arrived at Amy’s house Maisie’s mum helped get Amy’s present out of the car, but we still couldn’t see what it was because it was covered with a big sheet.

  Maisie said that we had to keep the sheet on until we saw Amy and that when we saw her we could pull it off and that that was when one of us could sneak away to do the

  Maisie’s mum said that she would wait in the car for us until we were done. I thought that was a bit weird because we wouldn’t be out for ages because we’d just got there. But Maisie’s mum said that she had a book and a flask of tea and lots of biscuits and a sleeping bag in case she needed it.

  Then Jodi said, “Thank you, Maisie’s mum! We’ll bring you a slice of birthday cake.”