Lawlessly in Love

by Mercy B

  “You don’t know what you’re talking about, nigga.”

  “This shit came from her mouth.”

  “You never even had a conversation with her. You didn’t like her from the jump.”

  “The fuck you mean? I ain’t even ever gave the bitch enough thought to not like her. That was G’s friend, not mine. Just as I wouldn’t expect you to be all up in G’s face, I wasn’t all up in hers. Besides, the bitch talked too much for me. I like my hoes quiet.”

  “And that’s why you wanted her dead.”

  “Damn real. Doesn’t take a science degree to figure that shit out. Come on, nigga. I got some shit I gots to do.”

  “Aight, give me a minute.”

  “Na, come on, Cayman.” I was tired of going back and forth, so I helped him to his feet before allowing him to lead the way out of the door. Thankfully, he could stand and walk. I didn’t have time to wrestle with this nigga.

  Cayman had passed out again twenty minutes into the ride. As I pulled up to the warehouse, I made sure it was vacant before waking Cayman from his sleep. It would’ve been easier to handle this shit while he was unaware of what was going on, but I wanted him alert. I wanted him to know why I had chosen to put him out of his misery so that he could go join Brielle wherever the fuck she was. I needed him to understand that any motherfucker could get it, no exceptions. If he was willing to take me under, then I was willing to take him down.

  As I patted his cheek to wake him, his cell rang. I chastised myself for not making sure that he left it behind and made a promise to carry it back to his home before destroying it. I needed his final location to be his home if police ever went sniffing around his phone records. I’d called him from a burner that I destroyed after we hung up from one another, so there would be no traces of me in his incoming or outgoing calls. We hadn’t talked in days.

  “Unknown,” I spoke aloud without realizing it. Though I couldn’t see it, I could feel the scrunching of my face.

  Just as I blazed, Cayman’s cell phone rang. He frowned upon noticing that a restricted caller was attempting to reach him

  “Watch out!” was all we heard through his speaker before the windows to my hummer shattered, and bullets rained through.

  I dropped the blunt that was hanging from my mouth as the sound of the windows startled me. Before I could take cover, I felt myself losing consciousness. A burning sensation ripped through my body as I closed my eyes but not before the crimson blood leaked through my solid white tee.

  “We out!” the assaulters yelled. Their deed had been done.

  The dream I’d been having for months came rushing back. To make matters worse, I’d blazed two blunts to take my mind off of the shit that I was about to do. I needed to numb the feeling of betrayal that was weighing me down.

  Forewarning. Though it wasn’t spot on, the dream had so many references that all made sense now. What fucked with me the most was the fact that I ended up on the brink of death, and Mili ended up alone before I woke each time.

  I ignored the call and continued waking Cayman. When he finally realized where we were, he became more alert. “Somebody gots to die tonight, huh?”

  You, nigga, I wanted to say, but I’d save that shit for later.

  “Sosa just going to kill everything walking. One bad motherfucker.”

  He was starting to get on my fucking nerve with his rambling. I was happy I didn’t have to hear that shit in the car. It all felt strange, loving a nigga like your blood brother one minute and despising his ass the next. Cayman had quickly switched roles and become the enemy. Even though he looked the same, the nigga wasn’t.

  It was gruesome, watching him lead us both to his death. When we made it inside of the warehouse, him stumbling and me following closely behind, it became apparent what was about to go down. Cayman was drunk, but he wasn’t a fool.

  “Where the crew? Where the victim?”

  “Right there.” I pointed as he surveyed the building for signs of life besides us two. He wouldn’t find any.

  “Right where?”

  “You, Cayman.”

  “Me?”

  “Yeah, nigga. You.”

  “What you mean? Quit playing, dog.”

  “Since you want the bitch so bad and is willing to do anything to avenge her death, I’m going to send you to her. Hopefully, she’ll have a change of heart and want you this time… knowing you were willing to turn state and die for her. You had to know this would be your fate. Right?”

  “Sosa. Man, listen. It’s not what you thinking…”

  “Oh, I know it’s not. What I thought was my nigga would never flip. Couldn’t have paid me to believe that shit, but it’s true.”

  “Na, that shit ain’t true, dog.”

  While listening to him come up with insufficient lies, I removed the blunt from behind my ear and sparked it. Smoke filled my lungs, helping me manage the stress of knowing that I’d be responsible for the death of my homie. I’d tuned him out as flashbacks of us as boys became vivid in my mind. Never in a million years had I thought we’d get to this point.

  “Caym,” I interrupted him, knowing that Gauge was waiting, and Sauni would be needing a ride home because it had gotten so late. “Step inside of the barrel.”

  The blue barrel was filled to the brim with acid that would eat his flesh to the bone once inside. After the flesh was dissolved, the bones would follow. The process was a lengthy one, but I didn’t have plans to stay for the duration. The acid was heated, which sped up the decomposition by hours, but I didn’t have that kind of time. Dre would be back in twenty-four hours to dispose of the residue.

  “Sosa, man.”

  “Cayman, you’ve been a gangster since I’ve known you. Don’t go out like a pussy. Man the fuck up.”

  I was hesitant about upping my pistol, but when I realized he wouldn’t go in without a fight, I aimed it at his head. “Cayman.”

  “That’s what you’re going to have to do, nigga. ‘Cause I ain’t getting in that bitch by myself.”

  “Your choice.” I cocked back and put a bullet into each of his feet, which caused him to stumble backward and into the hot acid.

  His cries were torturous as he tried fighting his way out of the barrel but was unsuccessful. Within seconds, the squeals had diminished to gurgling before complete silence. I preferred it.

  After thirty minutes and another blunt, emotions were sneaking up on a nigga. The pain in my chest couldn’t be denied, and neither could the tears welling in my eyes. I swiped them before they could fall and forbade any others to follow. My time had come, and my deed was done. As fucked up as it was, it was either him or me. I’d always chose myself over anyone else. That’s how I’d made it this far, and I wasn’t looking back.

  When I arrived at Gauge’s crib, Sauni wasn’t there. I assumed her people had come for her. That was fine with me. Instead of waking Gauge, I tossed her over my shoulder and put her in the car once I’d used her key to lock the door. I showered before climbing in bed and wrapping her in my arms. It seemed as if the world around me was in chaos, and she was the only sure thing about it.

  Honestly, I’d never expected to feel much of anything for a woman, but G was on some other shit. She didn’t bring drama to a nigga’s door, and she knew her place. She let me roam the streets and come back home to her when I was done. Shit kept my dick hard and my balls drained. Her head could put any nigga on his ass, and that pussy was one of a kind.

  Just as I got comfortable, my cell began chirping. It was Julio, demanding my presence downstairs. When I made it to the sight of construction, he stood there with his hands on his hips. His team wasn’t far behind him.

  “Boss man, our job here is done.”

  “Everything is ready?”

  “Everything is ready. Would you like to have a look?”

  “Not tonight. I will revisit in the morning. Do you have the instructions for me?”

  “Everything is inside. Maps. Instructions. Safe. Keys. Everything
that you included in the plan.”

  “Good looking. Let me let you all out.”

  Julio rounded up the crew and headed toward the garage. It was their entry point. Every day, the same van reappeared with workers inside. They never carried a single tool or even made their presence known until inside of my garage, one that had been built specifically for them.

  As we stepped into the garage, I noticed that it had been covered in sheets of plastic. “What’s this?” I asked, watching Julio ready his weapon. “Julio,” I commanded a response, but after I heard his chopper speak, there was nothing left to be said.

  He swept across the room, laying down the fifteen workers that had been on staff since he’d been hired for the job. I shook my head, noting that the plastic was positioned so that no traces would be left behind. I thanked God that my bedroom was soundproof, or I’d have some fucking explaining to do when Gauge made it downstairs.

  “I don’t trust them, amigo.”

  “Fifteen niggas, Julio.”

  “None of them have wives. None of them have kids. I got them off of the streets and kept them housed until now. None of them have a clue what they’re going to do after this. Half of them are addicts. For the right price, they’d fuck me over, as well as you. I can’t have that on my conscious, amigo.”

  “Clean this shit up, Julio.” I waved across the room.

  Shit, I was ruthless, but this nigga was as savage as they came. In the last week, death had visited so many times that it was becoming normal. I didn’t flinch at the site of the bodies in my garage, but that shit had me livid. Julio could’ve waited until he was out of my house.

  “I plan to. I’ll be out of your hair by the time the sun rises. It’s been nice working with you, Sosa. Call me if you ever need anything. Anything.”

  “I won’t hesitate,” I assured him before heading back up the stairs.

  I sealed my bedroom door before climbing back into bed and accessing the feed throughout my house. There were cameras everywhere. Julio would get his ass blown off before he could make it to my bedroom if he was feeling fishy, but I doubted it. However, with the amount of betrayal lurking as of late, everyone was suspect.

  Chapter 12

  Gauge

  For three days, I’d awaken in the bathroom, hugging the toilet. This morning was nothing short of another disappointment where I was kneeled on the floor, emptying my guts. To make matters worst, I was thirty days late. With so much going on in the last few weeks—including the death of my best friend—I figured the stress had kept it from coming down.

  “Mili!” Sauni yelled throughout the house.

  I’d been home for a week. Sosa mentioned the fact that he had business to tend to and needed me to stay at my own place for a few. Since the day of Brielle’s funeral three weeks ago, he’d been distant. According to him, shit was changing rapidly, and he was trying to get a hold on everything before it all slipped from his grasp.

  “In here,” I managed to get out before heaving and spilling dry air into the toilet. There was nothing left inside of me.

  Sauni rushed into the bathroom where I was. Her tiny feet plummeted on the wooden floors that were throughout my home. “Hey, love. Aww. I’m so sorry you don’t feel good. I got you some soup, Ginger Ale, and a pregnancy test.”

  “Sauni. I don’t need one. I’m pretty damn sure Sosa has succeeded in his mission. He’s been shooting up my club since the second time we were intimate. I’m surprised it’s just happening.”

  “Well, even if you already know, this is a keepsake. I have my pregnancy test from the girls still. It’s in their scrapbook.”

  “How cute.”

  “Oh, someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning.”

  “And for the last three mornings. I’m sorry, but I’m just tired of being so damn sick.”

  “It won’t last forever, love.”

  “I guess I’ll see soon enough.”

  “Have you talked to Sosa?”

  “I haven’t. Not in two days, which is highly unlikely. If he doesn’t call me by tonight, I’m popping up.”

  “Well, Mili, you have to understand that he’s going through a lot right now. Besides, it seems as if you need a little time too.”

  Sauni always had to be the voice of reasoning, but right now, I wanted her to be on my side. I was plain ole sick without Sosa and wanted her to understand it. The hard part about missing him so much was wondering if he missed me any. The attachment I’d developed for him was unhealthy, but most relationships thrived off of the attachment. So I wasn’t sweating it. I loved my man, and it was that simple. A week was too long for anyone to go without seeing the one they loved.

  “No. He needs to be right here, feeling the same pain I’m feeling, dealing with this damn demon child he’s put inside of me.”

  “Don’t say that!” Sauni chuckled. “My baby will be an angel. Watch!”

  “Everybody is an angel to you, Sauni. Your opinion doesn’t count.”

  “Well, that was just mean. Come on. Get up. I know you’ve got to pee.”

  “Seems as if this damn bladder is never empty.”

  “This is just the beginning. Wait until baby is big and sitting right on it. The worst!”

  “You’re not helping with my misery, Sauni.”

  “Then don’t think of it as misery!”

  “Give me your little test so that I can give it to you to scrapbook.” We both chuckled as Sauni assisted me off of the floor.

  “Sounds like someone is overly excited to be expecting.”

  “Yeah. You.” I snatched the box and pulled down my pants.

  “I don’t think I want to be present for this part.” Sauni tried running from the bathroom.

  “Na, stay your happy-go-lucky ass right there.” I nearly pissed myself, laughing. Sauni was tired of me already, and she’d just gotten here. “Seriously, don’t leave. I may never take it. Not even acknowledge this when my stomach is too big for me to tie my shoes.”

  “Don’t say that. You’re going to be fine, Mili. Babies aren’t the end of the world.”

  “I know. I’m just not ready to have one of my own,” I admitted. “Hell, I’m not ready to share my man with some spoiled brat.”

  “Oh, that is the worse, honey, especially if you’re having a girl.”

  “Exactly. Sosa will forget I even exist.”

  “Until it is time to feed or change diapers. Trust me. He will remember you then.”

  After I’d taken the test, we waited in the bathroom until the required two minutes had elapsed. As I’d figured, I was good and pregnant. Sauni was all smiles, while uncertainty poured in large quantities for me.

  “Here. This is the second one. This one will tell us about how far along you are. You can dip it in the small cup that you used.”

  I followed the directions and waited the additional time to be greeted with the length of my pregnancy. Sosa crossed my mind, and I wondered if his reaction would be the same as mine. I also wondered how I would break the news to him.

  Seven weeks.

  “Sauni, seven weeks is a long time. I’ve been drinking. At least twice, maybe three times.” I rested on the bathroom counter.

  “And you’ll be alright, Mili. Before I knew that I was pregnant, I was partying hard. Hell, that’s how I got pregnant.” Sauni took a seat on the toilet after letting the lid down.

  I remembered, but that still didn’t help me feel any better. “Still. Isn’t that harmful to the baby?”

  “Mili, I’m aware of every time you have had a drink. Trust me, you haven’t harmed the baby. I’m going to put these two tests in some good plastic from your kitchen, and then we’re going to decide on how we will tell Sosa that you’re having a mini Sosa.”

  “I could always just tell him, you know.” Shrugging, I decided that I’d force him to let me come over and give him the news after he gave me some dick. That sounded better than any plan that Sauni would be able to conjure.

  “Th
ere’s no fun in that. We need to make it special, something to remember.”

  “Oh, I’ve got plenty to remember, Sauni.”

  “Hush, simple child, and let’s get you dressed. Staying in the house will only cause you to focus on the sickness, and it will consume you.”

  “Where are we going? I don’t have to put on clothes, do I?”

  “I mean, I would suggest it unless you’re trying to catch a charge. Nudity—publicly—is against the law, honey.”

  “You know what I mean.”

  “In that case, no. Just get comfortable.” Sauni stood and grabbed my hand.

  She led me into the bedroom where we continued making light of my pregnancy and finding something suitable to wear wherever she was planning to take me. At this point, I had no objections. She was right. Being in the house led me to focus on nothing but my lack of wellness and overbearing sickness.

  Sosa

  The same place.

  The same time.

  Same hoodie.

  Same shades.

  Frankly, I was exhausted by the constant meetings that I had with Lancer. Each time I pulled out of the parking lot of the travel station, I was hit with another blow. First, it was Brielle. Then, it was Cayman. I could only wonder what I was in for this time. Lancer had been the one to request the meeting we were currently having.

  “Lancer.” I slid into the booth behind him.

  “How’s it going?”

  “Everything is everything.” I didn’t give specifics; neither did I express the stress that I felt. Even the pain of Cayman’s death was tucked away.

  “I have some good news and some bad news.”

  “Hit me with the bad news first.”

  “They’re ready to move in on you. Though they don’t have much to go on, they want to get you downtown and shake you up. They’re planning to pin conspiracy on you from the little chat they had with your buddy.”

  “Cayman.”

  “Yes. They’ve studied that audio day and night and have been trying to figure out what the fuck he’s saying for two weeks. And the fact that he’s gone missing is more ammunition.”