by Hollye Davis
The doorbell rarely rang at the cottage and therefore they never expected anyone, ever. It was the beauty of living in a closed community.
Edwin snuggled into her as her aunt got up to answer it, a few seconds later Sandra came strolling in.
“I knew I would find you here, Edwin. You’re so predictable.”
He rolled his eyes.
For some reason that statement didn’t sit well with Chloe. It felt like a familiarity with Edwin that she had yet to learn. Chloe forced the jealousy down to her stomach.
Sandra continued, “Don’t get your underwear bunched up, Edwin. I’m not here for you. I’m here for Chloe. We’re going shopping!”
Huh? No one mentioned this to her. She looked around panicked to see if anyone knew of this but her aunt merely looked interested and Edwin had a vaguely bored expression.
“School is starting soon and I thought a few new clothes are just what you need!” Sandra continued.
A sharp stab of pain penetrated her stomach, Oh yeah, school was starting next week – joy. She’d forgotten. She slumped deeper into the cushions of her couch.
Her aunt had the exact opposite reaction. She was so excited by the prospect that she ran from the room, returning seconds later thrusting her credit card at Chloe. “Spend away honey!”
Chloe stared at her aunt’s outstretched hand, wondering if she was joking, then her gaze sifted to her aunt who wiggled the card in front of her nose, then at Sandra who nodded encouragingly and then finally at Edwin who was fighting a smile.
Chloe started shaking her head “I don’t think…” but Aunt interrupted her “Oh honey don’t think, just spend.” And with that Aunt grabbed her hand and placed the card in it.
Edwin stood up and said, “I need to head home anyway to bathe. I’ll see you back here later tonight.” He bent down, kissed her stunned lips and departed.
Her aunt walked off, “I do have some work I have to get done,” and she, too, abandoned her to Sandra, who was smiling smugly.
She felt manipulated.
Before they left Sandra covered her beautiful red hair with a fashionable scarf and slid on big dark glasses. She explained, “I’m known through some of these shops and they try to get away with charging me too much. I think this way we can get some good deals!” Since Chloe was a complete shopping idiot, she trusted Sandra knew what she was talking about.
My feet hurt, my legs hurt, my fingernails hurt, yet Sandra continued on her quest for school clothes. I had thought my aunt knew how to shop, but she was pure amateur compared to Sandra. The girl was a shopping machine and I felt dizzy and exhausted within the first few shops. However, I kept going like some deranged drug addict searching for my next fix. It was crazy. - Chloe’s diary
Chapter 20
Amateur
Sometimes she swore that people would look closely at Sandra as if they wanted to say something or knew her, but like Edwin, whenever a question was about to be asked, Sandra would move on quickly. It seemed one thing they had in common, they really didn’t like people. It was strange but as usual Chloe put it out of her mind.
After lunch, at a darkly lit remote café, Sandra took her to an interesting stucco building that was elegant and expensive. She tilted her head back to admire the domed entry way as a footman like dude opened the doors for them to walk through. When her eyes adjusted from the outside bright California sun, the inside was stunning, grand, with tall ceilings and marble columns. Their footsteps echoed as they walked to the only thing in the room, a single desk positioned toward the back.
The best description she could come up with for the lady who sat behind it was that she was beautifully maintained, almost as if she was made of plastic. Chloe felt completely out of place, cheap and tawdry.
Sandra, however, had no such insecurities as she waltzed assuredly to the plastic lady and shared a few indistinguishable words while Chloe ogled the rich décor. No more than a few minutes passed when someone came out from the back and immediately whisked her away not to see Sandra again until what felt like days later.
Chloe was subjected to complete and total torture. She was plucked, waxed, her hair was cut and styled, rolled, dipped, rubbed and God knows what else. She went through every phase of pruning and when she emerged she felt wholly unlike herself. When she was about to run from the place screaming, she was pulled into yet another room where Sandra was sitting waiting, reading serenely. Chloe had to admire Sandra as she looked refreshed, beautiful and glowing.
“Oh gosh, you look fantastic, beautiful. Edwin is going to go through the roof!” Sandra exclaimed when Chloe walked into the room. Then Sandra frowned looking at her clothes and added, “Those won’t do,” waving her hand regally at her outfit. Chloe looked down at her shorts and designer tank top wondering why “they won’t do” when Sandra held up a tiny royal blue silk dress and a pair of matching heels that they had argued about the impracticality of the purchase earlier in the day.
Chloe had shoved the dress back but Sandra must have bought it anyway.
Chloe sighed. Why not? She had already been through so much anyway. She took the dress in an exasperated sigh and rolled her eyes. Sandra responded by looking very smug.
It was dark when they arrived at the cottage, but it was ablaze with light and activity. When they walked through the front door, it was to her surprise to find the entire fire gang sitting in her living room.
She shot Sandra a dirty look realizing she must have called ahead to make sure Chloe had the proper audience to view her transformation. Sandra laughed, flipped her hair and strode further into the room. She had no choice but to follow.
When Sandra moved out of the way to present Chloe, the only noise was the waves beating shells into sand. Christoph cleared his throat and shifted, Duke stared dumbly. She felt uncomfortable and ready to run. It was Penelope who broke the silence with a sincere, “You look wonderful.” Everyone nodded in agreement as she glanced at all the awe-struck faces.
She saved looking at Edwin until last, shy of what he would think, afraid that he wouldn’t like a shinier Chloe. When their gazes met, his reaction shot fire straight through her. He looked…unglued.
Sandra turned toward her effectively blocking Edwin’s view and handed her a little blue gift bag, “You’ll need these tonight,” then she turned and bounced out to the back deck. It was as if she knew what was going to happen next, whereas Chloe hadn’t a clue.
Edwin walked up after Sandra left and touched her cheek. His eyes burned with a desire that reached down to her deepest recesses. Her heart was beating so rapidly she relaxed her lips take in a breath, but it was also a natural way for her to body to automatically prime itself for his kiss.
She jumped back when Edwin barked, “Everyone out!” breaking the sensual haze. Everyone fled.
Her gaze landed on Christoph and his knowing smirk as he patted Duke on his back, “Doesn’t look like they will be joining us at the fire tonight.”
She blushed. The only fire she was thinking about tonight was the one burning inside of her. She prayed Edwin was prepared.
Once the last person walked out to the deck, shutting the door quietly behind them, Edwin hefted her into his arms and carried her to her room. He used his foot to slam the door closed then carefully placed her on the bed. She watched him through hooded eyes as he locked all the doors and closed the curtains. She was trembling when he finally took a deep breath and quickly divested himself of his shirt.
She swallowed. Oh heavenly God, but he was beautiful.
In her hand she still clutched the little gift bag Sandra gave her. She let it go. It fell off the bed to the ground where the contents spilled. She burst out laughing.
Edwin, who was moving toward her on the bed, looked at her blankly, “Do tell what’s so funny.”
She dropped her hand off the bed and scooped up the package of condoms to show Edwin, “She told me that we would need these…” she paused for dramatic effect, lifting an eyebrow and continued, �
��tonight.”
He busted out laughing, “I think she’s right. I’ll have to thank her, as I only brought one.” He raised his hand showing the condom nestled in his palm.
One would have thought him saying that out loud would have sent her running from the room. Indeed panic shot through her but she wanted him more. It was probably a mistake, but it was her mistake to make.
She was stretched on the bed, her hip and elbow propping her up when Edwin lay beside her. He tenderly cupped her check with his palm, whispering how much he loved her and all panic and all thoughts flew right out of her head.
Before she knew it, Edwin was on top of her with her dress nearly off, the kisses were deeper edged with desperation. Suddenly he broke away eliciting a moan of protest from her.
“I said I’d not pressure you and I’d wait until you’re ready, but most important I would have my facilities together. I don’t think I’m pressuring you,” he glanced at her for confirmation, she nodded and he continued, “but, god, when I’m around you my facilities are never together. All my plans go out the window and I’m warning you if we continue I don‘t think I will be able to stop.” He looked in pain.
“I am ready, I…” she was going to say she was not scared but that wasn’t true so she said, “I’m prepared this time.”
Those words were all it took for Edwin to be everywhere at once. Chloe trembled with emotion as they continued further than she had ever gone before.
The act itself was painful at first, and she wondered why anyone would want to do it regularly, but then something happened and it became something more than physical, more than need. It was as if this one act intensified the love she had for Edwin. It wasn’t cheap, as some girls had described it, but she could see how it could quickly turn that way if theirs wasn’t a love union. It was as if she was completing something with Edwin that she hadn’t known was missing.
Afterward, he held her, shaking just as badly as she was, his face buried in her neck. Their naked sweaty entwined bodies felt combined. She did not know where her limb began or ended or where his were, but it didn’t matter because it was perfect.
After a long moment he began kissing her neck when he choked out, “I love you seems inadequate to the way I feel about you.”
The words sent her soaring. She pulled slightly back to meet his gaze but found he wouldn’t look at her. When she finally forced him to raise his head his expression was troubled.
Fear and panic shot through her, “What’s wrong?”
“You said you were prepared, but I was not prepared to feel this way.”
Her heart sunk. He didn’t like it. It wasn’t earth shattering for him as it was for her.
Oblivious to her crushed heart, he continued, “I’m ashamed to admit that I’ve been with others.”
No shock there, you didn’t come into life looking like Edwin without women falling at his feet. She was sure he has taken advantage of that more than once, even though she hated thinking about it. She shifted away from him knowing there was no big revelation that she was lacking.
He gently turned her head back to him and said, “I wish.” He stopped, took in a breath, then continued, “I wish, I could have saved myself for you,” his eyes bored in hers, “The others felt cheap, dirty, and empty. You’re all I will ever need or want. I love you so much. You’re everything to me.”
She blinked a few times and smiled. To her profound relief she didn’t cry. She didn’t want to cry, she was so happy, so fulfilled that she didn’t need to cry and that was the best gift Edwin could have ever given her.
He lay next to her holding her so tight that she wondered how she was able to breathe. They both relaxed and eventually fell into a blissful sleep.
I never realized how anxiety driven I was until I wasn’t anymore. Edwin took that feeling and stuffed it in a laundry basket to never be seen again. Or so I thought. All dirty laundry eventually comes back. - Chloe’s diary
Chapter 21
The Anxiety is back
“Edwin might as well move in as much as he stays here,” her aunt said over her morning coffee. Indeed Edwin stayed over a lot and was there a lot. Aunt looked candidly at her when she spoke, “I’m not sure this is healthy, but, for some reason, I have a hard time depriving you of anything, especially since you never ask for anything. I’m as bad as some of my brat’s parents.”
Her aunt shook her head disrupting the smooth sleek style of her pixie hair cut. It was hard to take her serious when she looked like Tinker Bell even when she was trying to convey her best parental representational scowl. They both knew she wasn’t pulling it off and busted out laughing.
Contradictory to what Aunt thought, she thought it was very healthy for Edwin to stay over. She had never felt better, slept better, been better. But she also understood Aunt’s trepidation. They were young and behaving as if they were married.
Her silly, girly heart jumped at the thought. She was as crazy as those girls who wrote all over their notebook “Mrs. Whoever” they dated at the time.
The best thing she could do was try to reassure her aunt that she was okay. That she understood the seriousness of the situation.
“Don’t worry, Aunt, this is new to me, but I assure you I’ll let you know if something goes wrong or if I get in over my head.” She squeezed her aunt, “I know we can work through it together, me and you.” It was the best she could do. It didn’t sound like a lot but she could tell her aunt liked her honesty and trusted her impeccably.
“Well, honey, tomorrow is the big day, are you okay?”
Chloe groaned rising from the table to refresh Aunt’s coffee. Tomorrow was the first day of school and no, she wasn’t okay, she was terrified. The thought of returning to school sent chills through her body, and not Edwin evoking chills, more like the chills after seeing a horrific car accident that haunted a person for months.
It was the official end of summer, and it felt like death to her. It was the best summer of her life, and all school could to do for her is take her away from Edwin longer.
She had some major insecurities emerge with the thought of Edwin not seeing her as often. What if another new girl intrigues him more than her? She was certainly nothing special, just different. Any new girl could be classified as different.
Returning with the coffee, she looked at Aunt straight in her eyes, “No, but I’ll deal. I always deal. Maybe this year will be different.”
Edwin, fresh from the shower, walked in and kissed the top of her head, “Of course it’ll be different, you have me.”
She tilted her head back to receive a soft kiss on the lips from him. “So cocky” she teased. Smiling she glanced at Aunt, who was watching them closely with that worried frown again. The one she only had when it dealt with Edwin and her. Shrugging she went and prepared breakfast.
It was a lazy day spent in Edwin’s arms. Surprisingly, long before the sun fell, her friends began to arrive at the cottage. Usually they showed up right before dusk and started the fire, not here. Frowning and slightly alarmed, she straightened up when Sandra waltzed in with a birthday cake. Whose birthday was it? Why wasn’t she told? How embarrassing! She shot Edwin a look clearly asking him what was going on but he just shrugged.
She stood and pulled Sandra aside, “Please tell me I didn’t miss a birthday party!”
Sandra laughed, “No silly, it’s your going back to school celebration!”
Chloe frowned, “Who celebrates going back to school?”
Everyone erupted into laughter as Edwin came over and kissed her. “Haven’t you learned by now that Sandra will use any excuse to celebrate?” That was true, Sandra was officially the party organizer.
After a delicious cake, they all gathered around placing Chloe front and center with gifts. She stared at them. She never had a party with gifts, heck she had never been to a party where gifts were given.
How was a person to act? Everyone watched her expectantly, and she felt … ridiculous. Edwin, sensing her unea
se, put his arm around her and whispered in her ear, “Don’t worry, sweetheart, it’s not difficult, just pick a present and open it. Make some noise on how lovely it is and move on.”
To anyone else, it may have sounded condescending, but Edwin knew her insecurities and lack of experience. Most importantly, he always knew how to make her feel better. He was like her very own security blanket helping her act normal or at least as normal as she could be. A sudden pain grabbed her stomach. How was she going to survive school without him? Someone shifted alerting her to their impatience, she pushed the morose thoughts aside, laughed nervously, and fumbled for a gift.
Each gift was wonderful and thoughtful. Christoph gave her a notebook with seashells and one perfect sand dollar in the middle. Inside he wrote,
Chloe, I’m so glad we ran into each other…Literally. With all my love, Christoph.
She laughed. Edwin shot Christoph a dirty look but she just patted him on his thigh. Christoph has told every other woman he meets that he loves them. Setting his gift carefully aside, she reached for another one.
Sandra gave her a Loui Vuittion backpack; at least that is what Sandra told her it was. After their shopping excursion she finally understood that the girls weren’t talking of boys, but brands, and she knew this one was a significant designer.
Christine gave her a make-up bag that matched her backpack and Penelope supplied all the “necessities” to go in it, like lip-gloss and mascara. Chloe raised an eyebrow when she saw a condom slipped inside. Penelope shrugged, “You never know.” They all busted out laughing. Edwin slipped it out of the bag and into his pocket with a scornful glance at Penelope. She rolled her eyes.
Duke gave her a couple folders with Marmaduke and one with a peacock on them. “To remind you of me,” he said jokingly and their laughter got louder as they remembered the night at the campfire she had confessed that Duke reminded her of a big dog. It was after an argument of who looked more intimidating, him or Christoph, where Chloe was forced to be the decision maker. She said Christoph because who could be afraid of Marmaduke? Everyone had laughed so hard and pressured her to give Christoph an animal since she had compared Edwin to a homely horse and Duke to a big dog. She had to think a minute but it didn’t take too long. She announced that Christoph reminded her of an amorous peacock and everyone laughed so hard she thought they might hurt themselves. She didn’t realize at the time that peacocks weren’t the smartest birds in the world until the next night when Edwin took extreme delight in reading an educational book about peacocks.