From Sir, With Love

by Rachell Nichole

  Charlotte stared at Evangeline. But Evangeline’s glare was all for him. The look she was giving him was enough to make his balls clench. She meant it. And he wanted to put her over his knee for telling him what he could and couldn’t do. That was his job, not hers.

  “I won’t make things worse,” he promised. But that was the best he could do. If Pete came after Charlotte again, Leo would put an end to it, one way or another, and he’d do it in a way that Pete had no recourse against him. What he really meant was he wouldn’t be caught. But he wasn’t going to tell them that.

  “Thank you,” Charlotte said. “I guess I should turn my phone back on so I can check if Spartan PD called.”

  “Why don’t you let me do that, so you don’t have to listen to any voicemails Pete may have left you,” Evangeline offered. She really was amazing. She had put aside the years of animosity between her and Charlotte, in order to ensure his sister was safe. It would be so damned easy to fall in love with this woman. It would take every ounce of his strength to fight against it, but he would. Because in the end, it would only lead to heartbreak. He wasn’t going to let that happen.

  Chapter Twenty

  After cleaning the kitchen, Evangeline had deleted fifteen angry voicemails from Pete, and saved the one from the officer for Charlotte to listen to. Before deleting Pete’s threats, she’d sent each audio file to her email for safe keeping. Charlotte didn’t need to hear them right now, but they would likely come in handy with the cops, or during the divorce proceedings.

  She offered Charlotte some privacy to return the call from Spartan PD, and found Leo in the front parlor, sitting in one of the high-backed chairs, a book in his hands. He looked up when she came in. “How are things going?”

  “I don’t know. One minute Charlotte seems like she’s ready to burst into tears, and the next, she acts like she’s fine, and I can barely get two words out of her.” Evangeline sat in the chair beside him. “But I’ll talk with her some more when she gets off the phone and see if we can pin down what her next steps will be. Even if they don’t charge him, she could file for a protective order, and then file for divorce. If that’s what she wants.”

  “It better as hell be what she wants.” Leo’s voice was dark.

  She’d hoped that their little stress-relief session last night would have helped level him out a little, but she’d probably undone that with their argument in the wee hours of the morning. She really didn’t want to keep him here. Not when he had a life, a dream, to go home to. But she’d already had to go back on her word. Only hours after vowing she would get her shit together, she’d damned near had a panic attack. Over breakfast. Because she was pathetic.

  “You can’t force her to do something. She took a big step calling you last night. It means some part of her wants out. But you have to remember just how traumatized she must be. Just how terrifying it is to take the steps to remove yourself from an abusive situation. I know that it doesn’t make sense to you, and that you’re furious, but all we can do is support her, show her she isn’t alone, and that we will help fight to get her away from him. But she has to want that. She has to conquer her fear. A lot of women know, deep in their bones, that leaving means death. Because that’s how abusive relationships work. The abuser convinces the victim that no matter how bad things are, what will happen if they try to leave will be so much worse. That fear is used to control them, make a person do something that they would never do. It’s... fucked up.” She tried hard not to make this about herself. But damn it was hard.

  The relationship she’d had with her mother was not like a spousal abusive relationship. But it was just as traumatizing. That woman had kept Evangeline so far under her thumb, so controlled, so terrified to leave, that even with Benson’s protection, with his undying love and support, leaving home had been the single hardest thing she had ever done. She had known what would happen as a kid if she ever tried to run away but was brought back home. She’d have been locked in her room for days on end. She would have lost the ability to see any of her friends, to go anywhere or do anything without her mother by her side.

  “Why does it sound like you’re speaking from experience?”

  “Because I am.” She wasn’t going to lie to him.

  His face showed his instant anger. “But...you and Benson have been together forever.”

  “It wasn’t my lover. It was my mother.”

  “Ah. That’s... horrible.”

  “Yes. So, I understand a bit of what Charlotte is going through right now. And it’s important that it’s her making these decisions. If you push her into something, it’s liable to backfire. I know that’s going to be hard for you, but you’ll have to work to control your temper.”

  “Are you offering to help me with that?” he said with a wry smile. It was a beguiling look on such a serious face. His dark eyes twinkled at her. “Because, you said no.”

  He would throw that right back in her face. The ass. Even though her no had barely lasted a few hours before she’d needed him to order her to eat. “You’re staying because of Charlotte, though, not because of me, right?” She had to ask. Even if he lied to her. She didn’t want him to be lying. She didn’t want him to stay for her. Not really. That was too much responsibility. She didn’t know what the hell they were to each other, to be honest. You didn’t give up your career, your dream, your life, for your dead brother’s submissive.

  “Right. So even if you stick to the no longer wanting or needing to submit to me thing, I’m not going anywhere. She needs me at least as much as you do. Maybe more. But that doesn’t really matter. I’m here. For her. And for you. If you want me to be.”

  She would still call the therapist on Monday. She needed a game plan for after. Leo had called himself training wheels. And that wasn’t exactly an untrue analogy. She was using him to keep herself steady, to keep herself upright, and rolling forward. But you couldn’t use training wheels forever. She had to find a way to keep herself upright on her own. Because eventually, Leo had to go back to his real life.

  “Okay. But we need to renegotiate. And you can’t just sit around the house and help Charlotte and order me about. That’s not enough of a life. You have to do something for yourself.”

  “Like you, minx?” he asked, that glint back in his eyes. She shivered.

  “I thought you said last night was a one-time deal?”

  “I did. And it should have been. But I can’t deny that I want you. At this point, we’d both know it was a lie. I don’t exactly know how we’re going to work things. We may need some trial and error.”

  She fought the urge to jump and scream yes! But the rush of winning coursed through her. And something else. She wasn’t happy just because he’d caved and she’d proven that he could, in fact, have both kink and sex, without hurting her, she was also excited at the prospect of what else they could explore together. The thought of having him again, not just getting her off, or ordering her about, but actually giving himself to her, letting her touch him, and have her way with him made her a little lightheaded with excitement.

  “Yes, we definitely need to renegotiate. Obviously, your ground rules of no kissing and no sex have to go. And I want more of what we did last night, with some additional kink thrown in, I think.” She knew she was being demanding, but she didn’t care. How else was she going to get what she wanted?

  “Like what?” He wasn’t telling her no. He wasn’t saying they had to go back to the way things were before.

  Good. Time to press her luck: “I want you fuck me while you’re dominating me. You obviously still wanted to control when I was able to come last night, even while you were having your way with me. I want more of that. And...”

  “What, minx?”

  “And I want you to stop treating me like you’re going to hurt me at every turn. I think the past few weeks have shown me that I like things a lot harder than I’d ever thought I did.” The confession felt like a betrayal. But it was also the truth. Benson had never b
een so harsh with her. She’d never wanted or needed him to be. But she’d changed since his death. She was a different person now. There was Evangeline before his death, and now there was Evangeline after his death. And the two were not the same. She wasn’t going to feel guilty for that. And she wasn’t going to let embarrassment or doubt keep her from telling Leo what she was discovering she wanted.

  She’d been convinced that Benson was it for her. He was the only Sir she would ever have. But maybe someday, when she’d properly healed, when her disease was under control, she could have another shot with someone. Not anytime soon. But someday. And if that was ever going to happen, she needed to understand what it was she liked and wanted. Without Benson telling her.

  Leo strummed his fingers on the arm of the chair. “What exactly are you asking for, minx?”

  She loved that he wanted her to be abundantly clear. “I want you to punish me. Harshly. And frequently. We both know I’ll probably give you reason to on a daily basis.”

  He smiled. “And what about the rest? Do you still want me to tell you what to wear, when to get up, what to eat, when to eat, when to go to bed?”

  Nibbling her lip, she nodded. She didn’t want to need all of that. And maybe soon she wouldn’t. After she restarted therapy. But for now, yes.

  “That may prove a little difficult, given that we have a house guest.”

  “I know. We’ll just have to be creative.” She didn’t want to thrust Charlotte into the middle of whatever she and Leo were up to.

  “I think I can do that. If you’re sure?”

  She sighed. “Yes.”

  “Then why do you sound so exasperated?”

  More lip biting. She couldn’t help it. This was hard to put into words.

  “Evangeline?” he prompted, his voice harsh, demanding an answer.

  “I think that I maybe want you to make me agree to continuing, and expanding, our arrangement.” Her cheeks burned.

  “I see, minx. Come here.”

  She swallowed hard but stood and moved to his chair. He pulled her down on to his lap, wrapping his arms around her, one around her back one over her thighs, holding her close to him. “So, you want me to order you to obey me? To let me punish you when you’re naughty. You want to be told you don’t have a choice in the matter, is that it, minx?”

  Her stomach flipped and her thighs clenched, her channel spasming at his dark questions. Her body’s reaction was all the answer she needed to tell her that this was exactly what she wanted. She just had to tell him so.

  She nodded. “Yes, Mister.”

  “Then we need a safeword. If we’re going to jump headlong into this you obeying me in all things kind of deal, and me punishing you at every turn, with my doing it as if you do not have a choice in the matter, you have to have a way out. A word or phrase, something that would never come up in normal conversation, that tells me to put the brakes on. In case it’s too much, in case it’s too far. I won’t hurt you, Evangeline. And I need you to promise me that you’ll use the safe word if you need to. No matter what. Whether it’s today, or tomorrow, or next week, or anytime after that. During the day while you’re at work, or if we’re in the middle of a scene. Doesn’t matter. If it happens, you have to tell me. I know that you may feel like it’ll be giving in, giving up, or being weak, but it’s not. I promise. And I won’t agree to this unless I’m sure you’ll use a safeword if you need to.”

  She took a moment to make sure she could agree, really agree, before she nodded. “Okay.”

  She let herself relax into his arms, snuggling her face into the crook of his neck, breathing in his scent. It was a mix of sandalwood and him. Somewhere in med school, she had read how sweat smelled intoxicating to you if you were attracted to that person. Why was she thinking of this now?

  “Okay, then. What shall our word be?”

  “Aardvark.” The word popped out of her mouth without thought. It was just the immediate response.

  He laughed, shaking her body against his, close as she was.

  “Well, that certainly isn’t likely to come up in normal conversation, but if we happen to be around anyone else when you say it, things might get a little awkward.”

  The likelihood that she’d ever say it was slim to none, to be honest. She hadn’t been lying when she’d said she would use it if she absolutely had to, but the chances that would actually happen were pretty minimal. She knew what she was asking for.

  “Right. Well, we can burn that bridge if and when we get to it, I suppose. Even though we’re going to be in this kind of daily mostly full power exchange, I still need the freedom at work to ignore you when absolutely necessary, and the ability to negotiate as we go if need be. For both of us, not just for me. I’m asking a hell of a lot from you, and I know you haven’t successfully been able to do this with someone before. So, you need to be able to adjust as well if something isn’t working.” It was important to her that he also have an out. “Aardvark isn’t just for me, you know?”

  “Yes. I like that plan. And we obviously need to be a bit aware at home of not being too overt with things. You need to learn to be a bit quieter.” His voice held a smile, even though she couldn’t see his face from where she was.

  “We’ll have to come up with a creative way to keep me quiet.”

  “For the next few days, let’s plan to talk at night, just the two of us, before bed, and just check in and make sure we’re both in a good spot.”

  “That’s a great idea.” She let herself just be held in the quiet for a few moments. God, she’d missed this. It wasn’t like Leo could ever replace Benson, and she didn’t feel for him the way she had for Benson. Their entire dynamic was utterly different. But she couldn’t deny that in this moment, all tucked up and held close on his lap, she felt at ease. Comfortable. Cared for. If she and Leo were providing that kind of comfort for each other, she refused to think it was a bad thing. No matter what Charlotte or anyone else thought.

  Twenty-One

  Leo was reluctant to let Evangeline go, but he had to split his attentions. His sister needed him too.

  “It’s settled, then, minx. I need to spend some time with Charlotte and help with whatever her next steps are. I want you to spend some time doing something relaxing today. Maybe a movie, or reading a book? Or a nap. Maybe both of those things, actually. I think you could probably use a nap.” In fact, a nap sounded delightful. If it was just them in the house, he’d carry her upstairs and wrap her up in his arms and blankets, and they would both have a nap. But he didn’t have time for that right now.

  “Mmmm. A nap does sound lovely. It would probably be best if you joined me, though. Otherwise, I’m not sure I’ll be able to obey and sleep.”

  She was fishing for another session, and they both knew it. “Not right now. If you’re tired, I want you to go upstairs and sleep. Or maybe go lay on the couch in the media room and put on a movie. Not porn, but something else you enjoy watching, and maybe you can doze in there.”

  She sighed dramatically.

  “I’ll be keeping track of all your impertinent behavior, minx, so you can be properly punished when time permits. So, keep pushing, and I’ll tally up just how much you’re going to be in store for.”

  She shivered in his lap, her body squirming enticingly against his. But he refused to be distracted.

  “Now, go find something nice to occupy your time, or have a nap.” He turned her on his lap, so her feet were at the floor, and though she pouted, she got up. He gave her ass a small swat. “Behave.”

  “Yes, Mister.” She gave him a small, sly smile, before sauntering from the room. She made her way down the hall toward the back of the house, and he watched her go. What he’d just agreed to was more than he’d ever hoped to want from a relationship. You aren’t having a relationship, damn it.

  Why was it he had to keep reminding himself of that? He shook his head and stood, adjusting his growing erection as he did. He needed a few minutes to get his head screwed on straig
ht before he switched gears to go speak with Charlotte. She was up in her room, and the house was eerily quiet. Must be she was off the phone. With Evangeline off to watch a movie, he was confident he’d have some time to really talk with Charlotte.

  He would go in search of his minx later and ensure she was following his orders like a good girl. He stopped in the kitchen to warm a half cup of coffee. When it was empty, and his body no longer showed the evidence of Evangeline writhing against him, he went up and knocked on Charlotte’s door.

  She opened after a minute, and her face was red. The bruise was more pronounced, and her eyes were puffy from crying. “I take it things didn’t go so well with the police?”

  She shook her head. “The DA won’t press charges. Bastard.” She swiped the back of her hand across her face.

  “Well, that’s bullshit!” As usual his temper went volcanic in an instant.

  Charlotte actually flinched. He took a deep breath. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to yell at you. But I have half a mind to go scream at the DA.” He made an effort to lower his voice and keep his anger in check. The last thing his sister needed was him screaming at her. That wasn’t going to help anyone.

  “What about a restraining order? Can we get one of those?”

  She nodded, sniffling, and then straightened. “Let’s go have some tea.”

  “Yeah, of course. Come on.” He moved back from the doorway, and they went downstairs into the kitchen. He put the kettle on the stove to heat and busied himself getting mugs and the container of tea bags from the pantry.

  Charlotte focused on choosing a tea bag. “He called twice while I was on the phone with the detective.”