The Plague, Pestilence & Apocalypse MEGAPACK™

by Robert Reed

  already said, to what you before contemptuously set aside . This con-

  tention is unworthy of both of us; and I confess that I am weary of

  replying to charges at once unfounded and unkind .”

  Perdita tried to read his countenance, which he angrily averted .

  There was so much of truth and nature in his resentment, that her

  doubts were dispelled . Her countenance, which for years had not

  expressed a feeling unallied to affection, became again radiant and

  satisfied. She found it however no easy task to soften and reconcile

  Raymond. At first he refused to stay to hear her. But she would not

  be put off; secure of his unaltered love, she was willing to undertake

  any labour, use any entreaty, to dispel his anger . She obtained an

  hearing, he sat in haughty silence, but he listened. She first assured

  him of her boundless confidence; of this he must be conscious, since

  but for that she would not seek to detain him . She enumerated their

  years of happiness; she brought before him past scenes of intimacy

  and happiness; she pictured their future life, she mentioned their

  child—tears unbidden now filled her eyes. She tried to disperse

  them, but they refused to be checked—her utterance was choaked .

  She had not wept before . Raymond could not resist these signs of

  distress: he felt perhaps somewhat ashamed of the part he acted of

  the injured man, he who was in truth the injurer . And then he de-

  voutly loved Perdita; the bend of her head, her glossy ringlets, the

  turn of her form were to him subjects of deep tenderness and admi-

  ration; as she spoke, her melodious tones entered his soul; he soon

  softened towards her, comforting and caressing her, and endeavour-

  ing to cheat himself into the belief that he had never wronged her .

  Raymond staggered forth from this scene, as a man might do, who

  had been just put to the torture, and looked forward to when it would

  be again inflicted. He had sinned against his own honour, by affirm-

  ing, swearing to, a direct falsehood; true this he had palmed on a

  woman, and it might therefore be deemed less base—by others—not

  by him;—for whom had he deceived?—his own trusting, devoted,

  affectionate Perdita, whose generous belief galled him doubly, when

  he remembered the parade of innocence with which it had been

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  exacted . The mind of Raymond was not so rough cast, nor had been

  so rudely handled, in the circumstance of life, as to make him proof

  to these considerations—on the contrary, he was all nerve; his spirit

  was as a pure fire, which fades and shrinks from every contagion of

  foul atmosphere: but now the contagion had become incorporated

  with its essence, and the change was the more painful . Truth and

  falsehood, love and hate lost their eternal boundaries, heaven rushed

  in to mingle with hell; while his sensitive mind, turned to a field for

  such battle, was stung to madness . He heartily despised himself, he

  was angry with Perdita, and the idea of Evadne was attended by all

  that was hideous and cruel . His passions, always his masters, ac-

  quired fresh strength, from the long sleep in which love had cradled

  them, the clinging weight of destiny bent him down; he was goaded,

  tortured, fiercely impatient of that worst of miseries, the sense of

  remorse . This troubled state yielded by degrees, to sullen animosity,

  and depression of spirits . His dependants, even his equals, if in his

  present post he had any, were startled to find anger, derision, and

  bitterness in one, before distinguished for suavity and benevolence

  of manner . He transacted public business with distaste, and hastened

  from it to the solitude which was at once his bane and relief . He

  mounted a fiery horse, that which had borne him forward to victory

  in Greece; he fatigued himself with deadening exercise, losing the

  pangs of a troubled mind in animal sensation .

  He slowly recovered himself; yet, at last, as one might from the

  effects of poison, he lifted his head from above the vapours of fever

  and passion into the still atmosphere of calm reflection. He medi-

  tated on what was best to be done. He was first struck by the space

  of time that had elapsed, since madness, rather than any reasonable

  impulse, had regulated his actions . A month had gone by, and dur-

  ing that time he had not seen Evadne . Her power, which was linked

  to few of the enduring emotions of his heart, had greatly decayed .

  He was no longer her slave—no longer her lover: he would never

  see her more, and by the completeness of his return, deserve the

  confidence of Perdita.

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  Yet, as he thus determined, fancy conjured up the miserable

  abode of the Greek girl . An abode, which from noble and lofty prin-

  ciple, she had refused to exchange for one of greater luxury . He

  thought of the splendour of her situation and appearance when he

  first knew her; he thought of her life at Constantinople, attended by

  every circumstance of oriental magnificence; of her present penury,

  her daily task of industry, her lorn state, her faded, famine-struck

  cheek . Compassion swelled his breast; he would see her once again;

  he would devise some plan for restoring her to society, and the en-

  joyment of her rank; their separation would then follow, as a matter

  of course .

  Again he thought, how during this long month, he had avoided

  Perdita, flying from her as from the stings of his own conscience. But

  he was awake now; all this should be remedied; and future devotion

  erase the memory of this only blot on the serenity of their life . He

  became cheerful, as he thought of this, and soberly and resolutely

  marked out the line of conduct he would adopt . He remembered that

  he had promised Perdita to be present this very evening (the 19th of

  October, anniversary of his election as Protector) at a festival given

  in his honour . Good augury should this festival be of the happiness

  of future years . First, he would look in on Evadne; he would not

  stay; but he owed her some account, some compensation for his

  long and unannounced absence; and then to Perdita, to the forgotten

  world, to the duties of society, the splendour of rank, the enjoyment

  of power .

  After the scene sketched in the preceding pages, Perdita had con-

  templated an entire change in the manners and conduct of Raymond .

  She expected freedom of communication, and a return to those hab-

  its of affectionate intercourse which had formed the delight of her

  life . But Raymond did not join her in any of her avocations . He

  transacted the business of the day apart from her; he went out, she

  knew not whither. The pain inflicted by this disappointment was tor-

  menting and keen . She looked on it as a deceitful dream, and tried

  to throw off the consciousness of it; but like the shirt of Nessus,

  it clung to her very flesh, and ate with sharp agony into her vital

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  principle . She possessed that (though such an assertion may appear

 
a paradox) which belongs to few, a capacity of happiness . Her deli-

  cate organization and creative imagination rendered her peculiarly

  susceptible of pleasurable emotion. The overflowing warmth of

  her heart, by making love a plant of deep root and stately growth,

  had attuned her whole soul to the reception of happiness, when she

  found in Raymond all that could adorn love and satisfy her imagina-

  tion . But if the sentiment on which the fabric of her existence was

  founded, became common place through participation, the endless

  succession of attentions and graceful action snapt by transfer, his

  universe of love wrested from her, happiness must depart, and then

  be exchanged for its opposite . The same peculiarities of character

  rendered her sorrows agonies; her fancy magnified them, her sen-

  sibility made her for ever open to their renewed impression; love

  envenomed the heart-piercing sting . There was neither submission,

  patience, nor self-abandonment in her grief; she fought with it,

  struggled beneath it, and rendered every pang more sharp by resis-

  tance . Again and again the idea recurred, that he loved another . She

  did him justice; she believed that he felt a tender affection for her;

  but give a paltry prize to him who in some life-pending lottery has

  calculated on the possession of tens of thousands, and it will disap-

  point him more than a blank . The affection and amity of a Raymond

  might be inestimable; but, beyond that affection, embosomed deeper

  than friendship, was the indivisible treasure of love . Take the sum

  in its completeness, and no arithmetic can calculate its price; take

  from it the smallest portion, give it but the name of parts, separate it

  into degrees and sections, and like the magician’s coin, the valueless

  gold of the mine, is turned to vilest substance . There is a meaning in

  the eye of love; a cadence in its voice, an irradiation in its smile, the

  talisman of whose enchantments one only can possess; its spirit is

  elemental, its essence single, its divinity an unit . The very heart and

  soul of Raymond and Perdita had mingled, even as two mountain

  brooks that join in their descent, and murmuring and sparkling flow

  over shining pebbles, beside starry flowers; but let one desert its

  primal course, or be dammed up by choaking obstruction, and the

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  other shrinks in its altered banks . Perdita was sensible of the failing

  of the tide that fed her life . Unable to support the slow withering

  of her hopes, she suddenly formed a plan, resolving to terminate at

  once the period of misery, and to bring to an happy conclusion the

  late disastrous events .

  The anniversary was at hand of the exaltation of Raymond to

  the office of Protector; and it was customary to celebrate this day

  by a splendid festival . A variety of feelings urged Perdita to shed

  double magnificence over the scene; yet, as she arrayed herself for

  the evening gala, she wondered herself at the pains she took, to ren-

  der sumptuous the celebration of an event which appeared to her the

  beginning of her sufferings . Woe befall the day, she thought, woe,

  tears, and mourning betide the hour, that gave Raymond another

  hope than love, another wish than my devotion; and thrice joyful the

  moment when he shall be restored to me! God knows, I put my trust

  in his vows, and believe his asserted faith—but for that, I would not

  seek what I am now resolved to attain . Shall two years more be thus

  passed, each day adding to our alienation, each act being another

  stone piled on the barrier which separates us? No, my Raymond,

  my only beloved, sole possession of Perdita! This night, this splen-

  did assembly, these sumptuous apartments, and this adornment of

  your tearful girl, are all united to celebrate your abdication . Once

  for me, you relinquished the prospect of a crown . That was in days

  of early love, when I could only hold out the hope, not the assurance

  of happiness . Now you have the experience of all that I can give,

  the heart’s devotion, taintless love, and unhesitating subjection to

  you . You must choose between these and your protectorate . This,

  proud noble, is your last night! Perdita has bestowed on it all of

  magnificent and dazzling that your heart best loves—but, from these

  gorgeous rooms, from this princely attendance, from power and el-

  evation, you must return with tomorrow’s sun to our rural abode; for

  I would not buy an immortality of joy, by the endurance of one more

  week sister to the last .

  Brooding over this plan, resolved when the hour should come, to

  propose, and insist upon its accomplishment, secure of his consent,

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  the heart of Perdita was lightened, or rather exalted . Her cheek was

  flushed by the expectation of struggle; her eyes sparkled with the

  hope of triumph . Having cast her fate upon a die, and feeling secure

  of winning, she, whom I have named as bearing the stamp of queen

  of nations on her noble brow, now rose superior to humanity, and

  seemed in calm power, to arrest with her finger, the wheel of destiny.

  She had never before looked so supremely lovely .

  We, the Arcadian shepherds of the tale, had intended to be pres-

  ent at this festivity, but Perdita wrote to entreat us not to come, or to

  absent ourselves from Windsor; for she (though she did not reveal

  her scheme to us) resolved the next morning to return with Ray-

  mond to our dear circle, there to renew a course of life in which she

  had found entire felicity . Late in the evening she entered the apart-

  ments appropriated to the festival . Raymond had quitted the palace

  the night before; he had promised to grace the assembly, but he had

  not yet returned . Still she felt sure that he would come at last; and

  the wider the breach might appear at this crisis, the more secure she

  was of closing it for ever .

  It was as I said, the nineteenth of October; the autumn was far

  advanced and dreary . The wind howled; the half bare trees were

  despoiled of the remainder of their summer ornament; the state of

  the air which induced the decay of vegetation, was hostile to cheer-

  fulness or hope . Raymond had been exalted by the determination

  he had made; but with the declining day his spirits declined . First

  he was to visit Evadne, and then to hasten to the palace of the Pro-

  tectorate . As he walked through the wretched streets in the neigh-

  bourhood of the luckless Greek’s abode, his heart smote him for the

  whole course of his conduct towards her . First, his having entered

  into any engagement that should permit her to remain in such a state

  of degradation; and then, after a short wild dream, having left her

  to drear solitude, anxious conjecture, and bitter, still—disappointed

  expectation . What had she done the while, how supported his ab-

  sence and neglect? Light grew dim in these close streets, and when

  the well known door was opened, the staircase was shrouded in

  perfect night . He groped his way up, he entered the garret, he found

 
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  Evadne stretched speechless, almost lifeless on her wretched bed .

  He called for the people of the house, but could learn nothing from

  them, except that they knew nothing . Her story was plain to him,

  plain and distinct as the remorse and horror that darted their fangs

  into him . When she found herself forsaken by him, she lost the heart

  to pursue her usual avocations; pride forbade every application to

  him; famine was welcomed as the kind porter to the gates of death,

  within whose opening folds she should now, without sin, quickly

  repose . No creature came near her, as her strength failed .

  If she died, where could there be found on record a murderer,

  whose cruel act might compare with his? What fiend more wanton

  in his mischief, what damned soul more worthy of perdition! But he

  was not reserved for this agony of self-reproach . He sent for medical

  assistance; the hours passed, spun by suspense into ages; the dark-

  ness of the long autumnal night yielded to day, before her life was

  secure . He had her then removed to a more commodious dwelling,

  and hovered about her, again and again to assure himself that she

  was safe .

  In the midst of his greatest suspense and fear as to the event,

  he remembered the festival given in his honour, by Perdita; in his

  honour then, when misery and death were affixing indelible disgrace

  to his name, honour to him whose crimes deserved a scaffold; this

  was the worst mockery . Still Perdita would expect him; he wrote

  a few incoherent words on a scrap of paper, testifying that he was

  well, and bade the woman of the house take it to the palace, and de-

  liver it into the hands of the wife of the Lord Protector . The woman,

  who did not know him, contemptuously asked, how he thought she

  should gain admittance, particularly on a festal night, to that lady’s

  presence? Raymond gave her his ring to ensure the respect of the

  menials . Thus, while Perdita was entertaining her guests, and anx-

  iously awaiting the arrival of her lord, his ring was brought her; and

  she was told that a poor woman had a note to deliver to her from its

  wearer .

  The vanity of the old gossip was raised by her commission,

  which, after all, she did not understand, since she had no suspicion,

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