“I don’t think that’s right, my love for him feels real, Rae. He’s embedded in my soul; I can’t sleep without him invading my dreams. No, he’s it for me. It’s just a shame I can’t be it for him too.” I wipe the stray tear that’s fallen down my cheek. “It’s time for me to admit defeat.”
Rae’s face falls at my words. “Are you sure? Maybe some time apart will show him that he needs you in his life.”
“There’s no need pretending something that isn’t true, Rae. I’m gonna go to clear my head at Luca’s for a while and try to build up a strong, impenetrable wall around my heart. One that Maxum can’t break down with his dimples. I’m just so damn tired and drained, Rae.”
“Oh, sweetie. Come on, I’ll help you pack a few weeks’ worth of clothing. But I promise you, if you’re gone much longer than that, I’m coming to get you and bring you back home.”
“Warning received,” I bump her shoulder with mine, “but no promises are being made here today.” Other than the stuff that has to be scanned, I can do everything from Luca’s. I make a note to ask my mom if she can go by the garage and scan whatever comes in. While I do it every day, she can maybe do it two or three times a week.
“Whatever you say, biotch. I’ll bring you back home kicking and screaming if I must.” I giggle at her proclamation.
“Okay, I’m ready to pack so I can hit the road first thing in the morning.” I’m not convinced that running from my problems is the right thing to do, but it’s what’s best for my mental well-being, so for once, I’m gonna put me first.
5
Lily
I’ve been on the road for less than an hour and have already had to pull over three damn times. My head hurts, my tummy is turning… I think I’m coming down with the flu or getting a cold. I pull off the next exit when I see a large truck stop and head inside. First order of business is hitting the restroom because the nausea is bad enough, I feel as if I’m gonna puke. I can’t take my meds right now either since I’m driving and they tend to knock me out. Once I feel like I can keep going, I grab some ginger ale, a box of saltines, and some over-the-counter pain reliever. It’s probably insufficient, but it’s better than nothing. “May as well gas up since I didn’t do it before I left,” I mutter as I get back to the car. When I see that I’m slightly over three-quarters of a tank, I decide to keep going. I’ve still got about five hours, give or take, before I arrive and I say a silent prayer that my headache doesn’t get worse.
By the time I pull into the parking lot at the clubhouse, I can barely see and I’ve thrown up several times. “Just get to Luca,” I mumble as I pull myself out of the car. “He’ll help. He’s always helped.” I’m just so tired and need to get some rest.
I struggle to open the door but once inside, the darker environment has me sighing in relief. I see Luca sitting at a table and stumble over to him. “Lily?” he asks, standing and walking toward me.
“Hey, Luca,” I say.
“You need your meds, don’t you?” he questions as he scoops me up and heads to the elevator. I nod, the action causing me to wince. “I got you, Lil, hold on.” I don’t speak because at this point, most of what I’d say would be gibberish. He pushes the button once we’re inside, and I know he’s taking me to ‘my room’ that he insisted be put in when they created the clubhouse. “Yo, Tig,” he yells before the elevator doors close, “go grab her shit from her car and haul ass, please.”
“You got it, boss man,” Tig yells back.
If my head didn’t hurt so fucking bad, I’d laugh. The two of them have always been like this; their back-and-forth banter is usually funny, but not today. I hear the clicking of nails when we get to the next floor and the door opens. I guess Lucy has come to greet me too. “God, Luca, hurts,” I moan.
“I know, Lil. You should have called me. We’d have come and met you so you could’ve taken your medicine. You know it’s going to be a bitch to get ahead of the pain now.”
“Worrywart.”
“Don’t be a smartass now, Lil. You could’ve wrecked on the way here and then where would we all be? I’m not fussing. Well, not really, Lily, because I’m sure the shit happening at home isn’t helping, but you know better than to let it get this bad.”
I close my eyes and turn my head as he reaches my room. When he opens the door, I see that someone, most likely Gypsy, has refreshed my room and turned the bed down. One of the things I adore about my brother is the fact that in my room, he had those blackout curtains put up so it’s nice and dark. If they could talk, my eyeballs would thank him. “Got it, Luca,” Tig says, coming in behind us. I hear Lucy’s nails hitting the floor and realize that she followed us in as well.
“Let’s get you something to drink so you can take your stuff,” Luca states. I hear his tone and grin because he sounds a lot like Dad right now.
“Okay, Luca.” I know it might take a second dose, but right now, I’m seeking sweet oblivion, so I swallow my pills down and prepare to pass the fuck out.
“We’ll talk when you wake up,” he states as he leans in and kisses my forehead. “You rest now.”
“Love you, bubba,” I whisper. We were best friends before we became siblings and he’s always been there, watching, protecting, caring.
“Love you more, Lil. More than my bike, more than Lucy, but less than Gypsy,” he replies. Glad I’m above the dog at least.
I wake to something cold probing my face and licking my neck. What the fuck? My eyes pop wide open and I sit up quickly in my bed. A woof sound makes me swivel my neck and I laugh at the sight before me. Lucy is on my pillow, tongue lolled out of her mouth and hanging to the left. “Lucy, that’s not exactly the way I’d been expecting to wake up,” I joke with her as I take my hand and rub her ears. “Are your daddy and momma neglecting your needs, girl?” She woofs again and I burst out into uncontrollable laughter. Don’t ask me why this is so funny, but for some reason it’s tickled me.
My bladder screams out in agony and I rush from the bed before I pee myself. Lucy, always so protective and attentive, needing attention herself, follows me and watches me as I drop my pants and sit on the toilet. As per her usual, she comes up to me and rubs her head against my knee. This is her way of telling me that since I’m indisposed, I might as well make good use of my hands and fingers and pet her.
“Lily? Is Lucy in there with you?” Gypsy asks through the closed door.
“I’ll give you one guess,” I chuckle, but never stop rubbing my fingers through her fur. Every time I try to stop, she gives me a whine and I can’t resist giving her some more loving.
“That damn dog is always pestering someone or another.” I can hear the frustrated breath leave her as she says this to me.
“It’s okay, Gypsy. I don’t mind, she’s actually keeping me company.”
“While you take care of business? That’s ludicrous, Lily. You shouldn’t let her get away with it. Lord only knows Luca would let her get away with murder. He’d even hide the evidence for her.” I know she’s joking, but I can see this happening, the reality of it is overwhelming. I laugh so hard I begin to leak pee; unwillingly might I add.
“Gypsy! All I’m imagining is Luca giving her a big bone from her prize as he pours lye over a dead body in a dug grave.” The visual has me in near hysterics; a far cry from when I got here several hours ago, that’s for sure.
“I don’t think that vision is too far off,” she huffs.
“Give me a few minutes and I’ll come down and bring her with me,” I holler.
“Sounds good, we have dinner ready when you get down. That’s initially what I came in to tell you. Luca insisted that Lucy had run away because I wouldn’t give her treats earlier. Wait until I tell him she made her way into your room.” Her chuckles follow her out the door and I look down at Lucy and swear I see a glint of mischief in her eyes.
“You were playing hide and seek with your mom to punish her, weren’t you?”
“Woof,” is her response.
&
nbsp; “Damn girl, way to keep your parents on their feet. Give me a high paw five.” I hold my hand up, grab her paw, and have them meet in the middle. “Okay, let me wash up and we’ll head down to join the others.” She gives me a pensive look, huh, guess she’s not done punishing Luca and Gypsy as of yet. “You know, you can’t hide from them forever, Lucy.” I shake my head at the fact I’m talking to a dog, but anyone who’s met her soon realizes that she’s so much more. She woofs at me and I say, “Don’t you sass me, missy. I’ll tell your parents.”
Her whine has me giggling as we head out of my room and back downstairs. Time to face whatever music Luca plans to play. Knowing him, they made my favorites to butter me up and get me to spill my guts. “I’m on to you, bubba,” I whisper as Lucy and I step into the elevator. Once the doors close, I watch as Lucy presses her nose against one of the buttons and we start going down.
“So there you are!” Luca cries out when we reach the bottom and the doors reopen. Is he talking to me? No. No he is not. He crouches down and scoops Lucy into his arms, gets her settled on one side, then tosses his free arm over my shoulder. I catch Lucy licking his jaw and stifle a giggle.
“You thought she ran away, huh?” I ask as we walk toward the kitchen. He sets her down by her food dish and then washes his hands before sitting at the head of the table.
“Why is that so farfetched? Gypsy wouldn’t give her any treats after she promised them to Lucy if she was good during her bath.” He stares at his old lady and I start laughing at her expression.
“She didn’t get any because she was not good, Luca!” Gypsy sighs. “Splashing and whining is not behaving. Don’t even get me started on what she did when I clipped her nails, for fuck’s sake!” By now I’m holding my arms over my stomach because I’m laughing so hard, it hurts.
“She prefers her nails to be long,” Luca replies, taking the platter of meat and putting some on his plate before passing it to me.
“Well, her mother prefers them to be short so that she doesn’t wear scratches all over her legs and arms,” Gypsy hisses. I watch as the canine in question finishes what was in her dish, walks over to where Gypsy sits to Luca’s left, glances at Gypsy and then turns her back on her as she lays her head on Luca’s foot.
“How’s your head?” Luca asks me, effectively changing the subject.
“There’s just a slight headache left, bubba,” I reply, slowly eating. Sometimes, when I’ve been as sick as I was earlier, I have a hard time eating. Thankfully, the baked ‘fried’ chicken, mashed potatoes, and peas that Gypsy made is bland enough that I should be okay.
“You need to take another dose, then,” he instructs. I roll my eyes at his president tone; seems he got something from Dad after all! He catches me and I see him hide a grin before he says, “I’m serious, Lil. Don’t make me call Mom.”
“Fine, fine, I’ll do it.” If I’m being truthful, I could use the sleep; it’s been hit or miss since Maxum and I parted ways.
6
Maxum
I’m so drunk I can hardly hold my head up. It’s Friday night and I joined a few of the guys from the garage for a drink. Well, one drink turned to two and so on. We’re all laughing about something that I have no clue about, I’m only going with the flow of the others.
“Maxum, do you see that blonde over there? She can’t keep her eyes off you, man. I swear if you go over there, you may end up leaving with more than just her number,” Dustin states. This is one of the men that is working with me from the vo-tech school.
“Not interested,” I slur.
“What red-blooded man wouldn’t be interested in that? Damn, did you see the size of her jugs?” Vanston whistles.
“Not interested,” I once again state.
“Fuck, man. If you’re not gonna try to tap that ass, I think I’ll give it a shot.” Dustin gets up off the stool and walks away. My eyes don’t stray to see what direction he’s headed, I don’t give a fuck what this supposed big breasted blonde looks like… she’s not my blonde after all.
“You look like someone’s spit on your grave. What gives?” Vanston asks. What, does he think, because I’ve shared a few beers with him and let him work as an intern in my garage that I need to spill my guts? What, are we BFFs now? Yeah, I don’t think so.
“None of your business.” I lean over to make sure and look him in the eye, instead I end up swaying on my stool and nearly fall off.
“Wow, maybe it’s time for you to call it a night?” Vanston expresses.
“May...” I hiccup, “maybe-be you need to mind your own damn business.” I know I’m being a bit of a dick, but I’m a miserable son of a bitch.
“Hey, Max. You need a ride home, man?” I feel a hand clutch my shoulder. I look over and see my brother, Hatch, giving me a look that says I need to heed his suggestion and run with it.
“Sure,” I slur. Damn, my tongue feels swollen and heavy. I stand and sway into him, he reaches his arms up and stops me from falling face first into him.
“Damn, dude, I had no idea you felt that way,” he teases me. For some damn reason, I find this the funniest thing I’ve heard all night and laugh so hard that I have to look down and make sure there’s not a wet spot on my jeans. I begin bouncing from foot to foot in a need to go use the restroom but not sure how I’d make it there on my own.
“Is that your version of the peepee dance?” Hatch raises his eyes from my feet to my eyes as he asks this. I would laugh again, but I would embarrass the fuck out of myself so I stay quiet.
“Yep, there a bush nearby?” I question. Every drink I ingested has apparently reached my bladder and things could get dicey if I don’t hit the head soon.
“If not, man, I’m sure there’s a hydrant out there somewhere,” he chuckles.
“I’m not a damn dog, man.” I stop and think about the words that just left my mouth.
“Could’ve fooled me.” For the first time, I see that he’s not really happy with me, but he’s here doing his brotherly duty. I hate feeling like I’m someone else’s responsibility.
“What-what’s that supposed to mean?” I angrily spit out the question.
“Nothing. I’m not having a conversation of this magnitude with you while you’re drunk off your ass.” He grabs my arm and all but drags me toward the front door. As much as I try, I can’t get my feet to work correctly and it pisses me the hell off.
“Dammit!” I yell out.
“What?” He turns around and I can see his enforcer defensive side come out, ready for a threat to attack us.
“My damn feet are numb and aren’t working!” Can’t he tell? I mean, I’m stumbling into him more than I’m putting one foot in front of the other.
“Seriously, Max? Are you trying to give me a fucking heart attack? DJ would have your ass if she had to get out of bed and come sit at the damn hospital all night.” He shakes his head in disbelief at my outburst.
I shudder because even as drunk as I am, the thought of Donna Jo Hatchet anywhere near me, knowing how she feels about Lily, scares the fuck out of me. I’ve tried keeping my head down when I’m at the clubhouse, but I can feel the censuring looks and condemnation that rolls off of not only the women, but my own damn brothers. “Guess I had more than I should have, Hatch,” I mumble.
“Been happening a lot lately, brother,” he notes as he gets me to his truck. “Fuck, hang on, walk to the other side and take a piss, just don’t do it by my door.”
I stumble around to the back of the truck and take a piss, my bladder sighing in relief. Once done, I tuck myself back into my jeans and somehow manage to get myself into the passenger side of the truck. Leaning my head back, I sigh. I’m too tired and drunk to carry on any sort of intelligent conversation right now, but something tells me that I’ll be doing more listening than talking.
Hatch gets in and leans over to buckle my seat belt. When I try to protest, he raises his eyebrow at me and states, “Safety first, brother, and you don’t look like you’re in any shape to do
it yourself.” I shrug and let him do what he feels is necessary, unwilling to expend the energy it would take me to argue. With his truck now in gear, he points it toward my apartment before he starts talking. “You look like shit, Maxum. You’re drinking too much, you’ve lost weight, and your attitude, quite frankly, fucking sucks.”
“Don’t hold back, Hatch, tell me how you really feel,” I say. I’ve known this was coming, I just wasn’t sure who was going to draw the short straw, so to speak. I’ve been surly and almost nasty to the guys at the shop, which is another reason we’re closed tomorrow. I think everyone needs a day away from me. Me, on the other hand? I’m stuck with my fucking thoughts and they keep spinning around one thing — Lily.
“Not planning to. You need to get your shit in order and figure out what you want.”
“I wanted things to stay the way they were.” My words are still slurred, but I can feel the rage that’s been simmering below the surface rising and I know if I were in my right mind, I wouldn’t be telling Lily’s uncle that I was content with a booty call from his niece. However, the alcohol has dulled my brain significantly, and I completely miss the fist that flies toward me, catching me in the cheek. “Fuck, Hatch! What the fuck did you do that for?” Tears sting my eyes at the onset of pain and I glare at him, only to see his face hard as if it’s set in stone.
“That’s my niece, your president’s daughter that you’re talking about like she’s no better than a whore.” What? I’d never talk about Lily like that; she was a virgin when she came to me and unless she’s found someone else in just a few short weeks, I’m the only one she’s been with intimately.
“I didn’t say that, Hatch,” I protest, my hand rubbing at my cheek. I suspect I’ll have a helluva bruise because he didn’t pull back on that punch.
Maxum & Lily: Rebel Guardians Next Generation Page 4