My Serenity

by M. Clarke

  I released my fingers when I couldn’t feel them anymore. Somehow, I had wrung them tightly, cutting off the circulation. Shuffling my feet I said, “Maybe. I’m not sure. I don’t think I’ve changed that—”

  “Good.” That was the last thing I heard.

  Josie pressed her lips on mine, the way she had in sixth grade, soft and gentle. After the shock of her lips on mine wore off, I brought her body closer. My hands ran all over her back as I returned the kiss in hunger. Our lips moved in familiarity, but in a grown-up way, hot and passionately. It had been a long time since I craved someone, and I was showing Josie that I was a man now, and not the little boy she’d kissed back then.

  Panting, she pulled away.

  “Much,” I managed to say. “I don’t think I’ve changed that much. I was trying to tell you that.”

  Her chest was rising and falling just as fast as mine. “Seth. Oh my God. You’re an incredible kisser. I mean, I’ve imagined what our kiss would be like now that we’re adults, but it exceeded my expectations. Holy cow, Seth. Let’s do that—”

  Now it was my turn. I crushed her lips, taking in everything I could from her before she could finish. All those years I’d thought about her, all those years I’d wondered where she was and why she’d left without letting me know. I had to slow things down and maybe even stop completely. It wouldn’t look right if I had a hard-on right now; however, I did have an advantage. It was dark. Regardless, I pulled away. I could’ve kissed her all night, but we needed to get some rest.

  Placing my forehead onto hers, we stayed like that until our breathing was steady.

  “Time to go?” she asked.

  “I don’t want to, but if we don’t, we’re going to pay for it tomorrow. You’re not planning to take off, are you? You’ll still be here in the morning, right?”

  Josie pushed me away playfully. “I have nowhere to go. Lexy drove me here, remember?”

  I grabbed Josie’s hand. She didn’t push me away this time. “Yes, I remember. Now that I know you’re a runner, I’m going to hold you tight.”

  Josie

  When Seth grabbed my hands, tingling sensations ran up my arms, then down my body. I shivered from this warmth I hadn’t felt in a long time. When he said he was going to hold on tight to me, I almost teared up. Nobody had ever cared about me like that, at least that was how I was reading Seth’s words.

  From what I could tell, Seth’s personality was still the same. But holy cow! To me, he was a great kisser—soft, tender, and at the same time, passionate. Some guys were sloppy, and some pushed their tongue into your mouth the way you cleaned the toilet, but Seth—he was just right.

  When he held me in his arms, I saw more stars than there were up in the sky. I wanted more of his kiss, more of him, but I knew it wasn’t the right time or place. And I didn’t know what I was doing. I never thought in my wildest dreams I would see him again, and here he was, taking my sadness away, taking me to a safe place. But I couldn’t let it get too far. Seth was right. I was a runner. In time, if my past caught up to me, it would cause too many problems for him. And he didn’t need that. Just like in the past, I would hurt us again.

  After we grabbed our flashlights, Seth walked me to my tent so I could get my toiletry bag, and then we walked to get his. After we washed up at the nearby restroom, he walked me back to my tent and kissed my forehead. “See you in the morning, Josie. Remember, you promised not to run away.”

  I knew Seth was joking, but his words twisted the dagger in my heart that was already there. “I promise for tonight,” I said half jokingly, biting my lip. “But if a handsome bear or a fox asks me out on a date, I might take up his offer.”

  Seth rubbed his chin. “Hmm…then maybe I should ask you out first. Do you have plans next weekend?”

  I looked down at my hand. Seth’s fingers were softly brushing against mine. I loved the way it seemed as though his fingers were flirting with me, sending an “I want to touch all of you” kind of message. “I don’t think I have to work, but I’ll have to double-check.”

  “Then Josie Rosie, it’s a date.”

  I froze for a second with my eyes wide, loving how he remembered the nickname he had picked out for me. With a smile that was bright enough to light up the campground, I asked, “You—you remembered?”

  “Of course.” He winked.

  How I loved the way he winked at me. So freakin’ sexy. “Don’t forget to put out the fire, Seth.”

  “On my way.”

  I watched his tight ass disappear into the darkness.

  CHAPTER 13

  Seth

  Stretching and yawning, I looked up to see the low ceiling of our brown tent, reminding me where we were. Having had a peaceful sleep, I’d almost forgotten. It was a surprise to me, considering that we had slept on the hard ground. I heard the sound of someone unzipping the tent and then the sun peeked through, making me turn away.

  “Good morning, honey,” Jonathan teased in an awful girly voice—the type of voice that would make you want to throw up. “Breakfast is ready. You slept like a baby. We have a long day at the lake. It’s time to rise and shine.”

  I blocked the light with my hands. “I’ll be right there. What time is it?”

  “Eight. See you outside.” Jonathan closed the tent.

  I quickly changed and stepped out into a beautiful view. Josie came out of her tent the same time I did. She hadn’t seen me yet, so I continued to stare. She wore jean shorts and a white tank. When she stepped into the sunlight, she looked like an angel sent from above. Still keeping my eyes on her, I took baby steps to the campfire. Being that I had been there many times before, I knew I could get around with my eyes closed—but maybe not when I was staring at Josie. BAM! I ran into a tree, not hard, but enough to make me curse under my breath.

  I turned to the sound of laughter coming from my friends. Rubbing my left temple, I frowned at them. “Didn’t see the tree.” I chuckled, trying to brush it off.

  “Yeah, I didn’t see Josie too,” Elijah snorted. “Don’t stare and walk. It can be dangerous, especially when you can’t do two things at once.”

  “Yeah, yeah, yeah,” I hissed and sat by the fire pit.

  Elijah handed me my plate filled with eggs, bacon, and toast. “Your breakfast. Stare at this instead.”

  “Never mind him. You boys tease each other too much,” Alex said, handing me a white plastic fork.

  I smiled at Alex. Her smile always made me smile. “Don’t worry, Alex,” I snickered. “I always return the favor.”

  Alex shook her head and rolled her eyes playfully. I swallowed a lump of eggs, then I heard Josie’s voice.

  “Good morning,” she greeted. “It’s a beautiful day.” She looked at me with that angelic smile, that smile that almost gave me a boner, especially when I recalled our kiss last night.

  “Here’s your breakfast, Josie.” Lexy handed her a plate.

  I patted the empty seat next to me. When Josie sat down, I looked up to see Elijah giving me a smirk. He knows! How does he know?

  “What did you do last night?” Jonathan asked, putting the spatula and forks into a bucket. He was getting ready to take them to the restroom and wash them.

  “Nothing much—” Josie started to say. I was surprised that she answered. I didn’t know whom Jonathan was talking to. “Seth and I talked. We observed the stars. We made out. Then before we went to bed, we went to the woods and fucked.”

  I almost choked on the eggs in my mouth; some even flew out of my mouth. Standing up, I coughed relentlessly and felt my face burn. Did I hear her right? The laughing sound indicated that I had.

  “I’m just joking,” Josie snickered, patting my back. “Oh my goodness, Seth. Are you okay? I was trying to stir up your friends, not you.”

  After I drank the water Elijah had handed me, I cleared my throat. “Good one, Josie. I’m afraid I ruined it.”

  Cameron took out a bottle of water and closed the ice chest, which wasn’t fille
d with ice anymore. “I have to admit, that was pretty funny. I was shocked at first, but Seth showering us with his eggs made me laugh too.”

  “Anyway,” Jonathan said. “We should get going.”

  After we had cleaned up, we headed down to the lake. The shimmering waves of the water glistened as far as I could see. It was a warm day, but the breeze gave some comfort from the heat.

  Elijah, Alex, Cameron, and I got in one rowboat while everyone else got in the second boat we had rented.

  “Are we almost there?” Cameron asked, swishing his oar back and forth.

  I chuckled and stopped paddling. “You sound like a child. We’re almost there.” I pointed across the lake. “You see that yellowish deck way over there?”

  “Yup.”

  “That’s where we’re headed.”

  “Then hurry up, Seth,” Elijah said, giving me a wicked grin. His arm was wrapped around Alex’s, and he was leaning back against the end of the boat.

  I picked up the oar again and narrowed my eyes at him playfully. “You’re lucky Alex is with us. I’ll throw you in the lake if you tell me to hurry again.”

  Alex raised her hands to surrender. “You have my permission, Seth. Just don’t hurt him.”

  Elijah tickled Alex, making her squirm and laugh. “Seth isn’t strong enough to throw me over.”

  “Is that a challenge?” I pushed the oar through the water faster.

  “Nope, just saying. I’m bugging you so next time you’ll have the balls to ride on the other boat with Josie.”

  I looked away. Even with our sunglasses on, Elijah was sure to read my expression. “What?” I shook my head then looked back at him. “I wanted to be in the same boat with you.”

  “Uh huh…what happened last night?”

  That got Cameron’s attention. He was lazily rowing the boat, observing the mountains, other boats nearby, and cabins along the lake.

  “Nothing,” I answered shyly. “It’s not a big deal. We kissed.”

  It was silent, but their big smiles were priceless. It was how I was feeling, but couldn’t explain it.

  “Seth, that’s so sweet,” Alex said. “The first girl you ever had a crush on is back in your life. That’s like a once in a lifetime chance. I’m so happy for you.” Alex had an angelic voice, so whatever she said to me was bound to be true.

  I looked behind me to gauge the distance. “We’re not going out.”

  “Yet,” Elijah added.

  “She seems like a cool girl,” Cameron said.

  “Yeah, she is,” I agreed.

  We rowed in silence for the next fifteen minutes, enjoying the clear blue sky and soaking up the sun. When we reached our destination, I tossed the rope on the dock and jumped off the boat to anchor it, and then everyone got out. We met Lexy’s group at our special location. It was the place where my dad used to take us. I wondered if the rope he had tied on the tree was still there.

  Since my swim trunks were my shorts, I only had to take off my top, but the ladies had to strip bottom and top. Josie looked hot in her purple bikini. Every ounce of me wanted to cover her up. I could see Jonathan and Cameron checking her out. Yup, I wanted to punch my fraternity brothers.

  Elijah was always the brave one—and the first one. He climbed over rocks to grab the rope.

  “Don’t worry, babe,” he said to Alex. “I won’t let you fall. It’s strong enough to hold us both. This is your first time. I want to jump in with you.”

  I was pretty sure his words melted Alex. I could tell by the way she looked at him, with big eyes and a come-hither smile.

  I felt a body brush against me. “Seth, will you jump with me?” Josie asked.

  “Josie.” I was surprised to see her next to me when a second ago she was standing next to Lexy. “Are you sure? You don’t want to jump in with Lexy?” I wanted to smack myself for saying that. Josie asked me—duh! “I mean, yes. I would love to.”

  We stood there watching Elijah and Alex. Alex got on Elijah’s back. Elijah gripped the rope and placed his feet against the trunk of the tree.

  “Ready, Alex? One. two—”

  Elijah pushed off the tree to give himself momentum. “Three!”

  Alex’s scream was loud, but it was cut off when she hit the water. They both dove into the water and came up laughing. Elijah made all kinds of loud noises.

  After our friends dove in, it was our turn. “Ready, Josie?”

  Josie didn’t answer. She got on my back. Touching her skin sent all kinds of shivers over every inch of me. Heat from her body burned through my skin; not only did I want more, I didn’t want to let go. This was going to be difficult.

  Josie’s legs gripped tightly around my hips and her arms wrapped around my neck loosely. “Do you remember when you gave me a piggyback ride and we got in trouble?”

  I smiled, remembering that day. “I do. It was during lunch. And if I recall correctly, it was your fault we got in trouble. But I didn’t mind. I would have gotten in trouble for you thousands of times. You were my girl.”

  Josie squeezed me. I assumed she liked what I’d said.

  “Josie, what are you doing?”

  Josie went behind me and placed her hands on my shoulders. “Seth, carry me.”

  “What? We’re not allowed.”

  Josie looked at me with pleading eyes. “Seth,” she whined. “Please.”

  “The bell is going to ring.”

  “Then you can carry me to our line.”

  I didn’t want to do it, but for some reason it meant something to Josie. I sucked up my pride and looked around to make sure none of the noon aids were looking directly at us.

  “Jump,” I instructed.

  Josie wasn’t big, but being that she was almost as tall as me, it was difficult for me to move my legs. I also didn’t want to look like a wimp. Biting my lip, I mustered all the strength I could and carried her along the basketball courts. Just before we reached that line a whistle blew. It was one of the noon aides trying to get our attention. We weren’t allowed to be carried or carry our friends like that. It was against the rules.

  “I think the whistle is for us,” Josie said.

  “I don’t care, Josie. I’m carrying you to the line as you wish. Just ten more steps.”

  Josie gave me a peck on my cheek. “You’re my hero, Seth.”

  The whistle wouldn’t stop, but I didn’t care. It was worth her praise and her kiss.

  “You’re so sweet, Seth.”

  Josie’s words brought me back to reality. “Ready, Josie? When we were in sixth grade, I carried you to the line. Now that we’re bigger, I’ll toss you in the lake.”

  We laughed out loud together from my ridiculous words.

  “You’re so romantic, Seth. Every girl would love to be tossed into the lake with you.”

  “I’m counting to three.”

  “I’m so nervous.” Her voice sounded shaky.

  I felt her body shaking against mine. “I didn’t let you down back then. I won’t let you down today. You’ll be fine. I promise.”

  “Okay.” Josie nodded, but her body was still quivering.

  “What’s taking you so long?” I heard Elijah’s voice.

  “Hurry up, Seth,” Lexy said.

  “Seth is being a chicken.” Jonathan laughed.

  I put my feet on the trunk of the tree just like Elijah had while I held the rope. “You all better watch out. Josie and I are going to make a gigantic splash,” I hollered. Without giving Josie any more time to think, I said, “One!” Instead of counting any further, I pushed off and let the rope go when we reached the specific point to drop into the water.

  “Seth!” I heard Josie’s voice loud and clear against my ear.

  The slap of the cold water stung against my body. Josie’s weight pushed me down lower, but when she let go, we both came up for air.

  “Oh my God!” Josie rewarded me with an exhilarated smile. “That was fantastic. Let’s do that again.” She ran her fingers through her po
nytail to fix her hair.

  I didn’t say anything. I was too busy watching her smile, hearing the sound of her cute laugh, and seeing the water shimmering like diamonds around her.

  “Watch out!” Jonathan bellowed, splashing into the water beside us.

  Josie and I locked eyes and smiled as we floated and rocked along the waves. Then Cameron jumped in next to Jonathan.

  “I’m going to swing off the rope on my own,” Josie said. “Are you going to stay in the water?”

  I nodded. “Just for a little bit so I can get used to the temperature.”

  As I watched Josie get out of the water and grab a towel, someone splashed me. I turned to look.

  “Don’t stare too hard. Your eyes might pop out,” Elijah said teasingly.

  I gave him a faint smile. “That’s what my dad used to say.”

  “I know,” Elijah agreed with a somber tone. “Did you ask her out yet?”

  I waved my hands back and forth under the water to keep afloat. “I did.” Though my tone was neutral, I was excited and couldn’t wait.

  Elijah waved at Alex. She had joined Josie by the tree. “You don’t sound happy about it.”

  I gave him a sly grin. “You know—I’m trying to act cool like you.”

  Elijah furrowed his brows in a cocky way. “No one can be like me, Seth. It’s impossible.” He snorted to let me know he was joking. “You’ve gotta be yourself.” He pushed the water to shift his body. “She fell in love with you.”

  I squinted my eyes from the sun and turned away from the reflection. “I know, but we’re not in sixth grade anymore.”

  “Didn’t she kiss you last night?”

  Heat rushed to my cheeks. “Yeah.”

  “You’re a great guy, Seth, and she knows that. I know things have been rough since your dad passed away, but don’t let this opportunity pass you by. I know your dad would’ve approved of Josie. She seems like a good person.”

  “Thanks, Elijah. I appreciate your support. You’re right.”

  “You were there for me when I needed you. After all, what are friends for?”