My Serenity

by M. Clarke

  Josie sniffed, looking doubtful, and nodded her head. “What happened?”

  “The doctor wants to observe you for twenty-four hours. You fainted from dehydration, but they did some blood tests to make sure that was the only cause.”

  “Okay,” Josie answered. “What happened to Brad?”

  “He’s been arrested. Officer Thomas let me know he has been charged with attempted murder, assault, and his fingerprints matched the ones in my dad’s shop. He also has been linked to a local robbery. Brad is going to be put away for a long time. He’s never going to touch you or come near you again.”

  “Oh, Seth,” Josie whimpered. Her eyes teared up again. “You’re so good to me, even though I don’t deserve you.” Josie brought my hand to her cheek and kissed the back of it. “You’re my hero, Seth. You were when we were in the sixth grade, and it still hasn’t changed.”

  I smiled shyly, caressing her face. “I wouldn’t want to be anything else.”

  Josie

  The next day I was released from the hospital, and Seth took me to his house. I swallowed a nervous lump when he told me his mom was visiting his brother and Sara had gone back to school. For now, I would take Sara’s room. Lexy would have offered my room back, but she was heading to New York. She had taken a position she couldn’t refuse at a PR firm, her dream job. Though she hadn’t left yet, it was senseless for me to move back in and then move out again.

  Seth took good care of me. He made sure I had plenty of water to drink and made me eat like a pig. I had to admit, I loved the way he doted on me. In a short while, I was back to my healthy weight.

  During the past several days we’d spent together in his house, we talked about my parents, Brad, and everything in between. He asked me many questions, and I answered even if it killed me to tell the truth. I never wanted him to know all the shameful and embarrassing moments in my life, but Seth made me see that I could trust him, that it wasn’t my fault.

  I sat on Seth’s bed, waiting for a talk he wanted to have again. Lacing my fingers through my hair, I dreaded this conversation. I knew what he wanted to talk about. I couldn’t live here forever. How would I tell Seth that I had no place to go? Another humiliation. No! I needed to trust Seth. I had nothing left to hide. I had bared my worst nightmare to him. I had bared my soul to him. Looking to the corkboard over his desk, I could see the yellow Post-it note still pinned in the lower right-hand corner, but it looked like it had been crumpled up.

  “Hey.” The mattress sank a little when Seth sat next to me. “We should talk about where you’re going to live and what you’re going to do.” His tone was so sweet and tender. He sounded like a guardian angel that was going to make everything just right.

  My eyes focused on the hem of my shirt, as if I was being scolded. I didn’t know why I was being melancholy about it, except for the fact that I had no idea what was up with Seth and me. We hadn’t discussed us. “I’m much better now. I should find a place to live.”

  “Did you already have a place in mind?” He sounded hesitant, almost surprised.

  “No. I didn’t have time to think about it much.”

  Seth folded his left leg on the bed, and turned his body to face me. “I need a manager for my mom’s restaurant. She’s much better, but I think she’s tired. She wants to have flexible hours, come and go as she pleases. I think she wants to travel with her friends too. That would be good for her. So…how about it?”

  I slowly looked up at him, wondering if I was hearing correctly. “You want me to be the manager?”

  Seth nodded with a huge smile. “Only if you want it. I don’t want to force it on you, but I would love it if you would. And, for as long as you like, you can live here, in my house, in my room.”

  “Seth? What will your mom think?” My pitch rose higher than I had intended.

  “I already spoke to her on the phone about it. She could use your company as well. All her kids are out of the house—and I need to go back to school.” He furrowed his brows.

  “When do you go back?” I tried to swallow a lump in my throat, but it refused to go down. Sadness and loneliness washed over me.

  “In three days.” Seth took my hand in his. “I start school and my internship on Monday.”

  My eyes trailed down the curves of his muscular arm that was holding my hand. I held them there, unable to look at him. He didn’t want me? Helping me out was out of sympathy? My heart was starting to shred apart, every vein slowly bleeding.

  “Hey.” Seth must have seen the frown on my face. He tilted my head up so I could meet his eyes. “Do you like me?”

  I arched my brows in confusion. Where was he going with this? “Uh—of course I like you.”

  “No, I mean—do you like me like you would like a boyfriend? There’s a rumor going around that you do, and I wanted to know if it was true.”

  It suddenly dawned on me that he was using the exact words, give or take, I had used on him in sixth grade.

  I stood up, backing away to the desk as my lips lifted into a crooked smirk, humored by his words. “No.” I shook my head. “Unfortunately, I don’t.”

  “Oh, I see.”

  Seth’s expression was unreadable. Surely he knew I was teasing. When I wasn’t sure, I decided not to play this game.

  “It’s because, Seth, I don’t like you. I can’t like you when all these years you were on my mind. Every guy I dated was compared to you. I fantasized about you. How it would feel to kiss the grown-up Seth, to be with you, to make love to you. I was jealous of those girls that dated you, that got a kiss from you, and I’ve never even met them. So, no, Seth, I don’t like you—I love you. Do you hear me, Seth Stewart? I can’t ever love anyone as much as I love you. You’re my dream come true, you’re my hope, and…you’re my life. So if you’re asking me to be your girlfriend, the answer is yes, Seth. I want this so much.”

  Seth stood up with no expression. His eyes darkened with a purpose, piercing at me so intently that I felt naked.

  “Seth? Say something,” I whimpered.

  “Josie,” he growled before taking long strides toward me.

  Holy cow! He was coming for me. And it was the hottest thing.

  Seth picked me up and pressed his lips to mine hungrily. I kissed him back, tasting those supple lips of his. My legs tangled around him when his hands anchored my ass. My free hands had a mind of their own. As he continued to kiss me, I unbuttoned his shirt, starting from the top. After a few, I yanked his shirt because it was taking too long.

  “Seth, I want you,” I murmured against his ear, nipping at the tip.

  Seth moaned and placed me on the bed. He dropped his shirt after he slipped his arms through the sleeves. Marveling at his fine tanned and sculpted chest, I felt my lust grow. Then he hovered over me, and I withered from his smell and what was to come.

  “Are you sure?” he asked, planting tender kisses along my neck, and then outlining my collarbone with his tongue.

  “Yes,” I moaned.

  That was all he needed to hear. Starting from the bottom, he pulled my tank top upward, taking his time, kissing me. He raised my tank up higher, over my bra, and then finally over my head. I yelped when Seth softly sucked my nipple. Oh God! I couldn’t recall how he had undressed me, but only how I was feeling. All his love was pouring into every kiss and every touch. Everywhere he touched burned with ecstasy, sending electrified sparks to the depth of me. I was dizzy, spinning in lust and in love, unable to get enough, wanting more of him.

  I had never been kissed and touched like this before, and I had come to realize the difference between fucking with someone that lusted after your body and making love with someone who truly loved you.

  “Seth,” I moaned, arching my back. Tugging at his shorts, I managed to unzip them and slip my hand over his dick. Big, hard, and ready, I exploded to another intensity of pleasure. He rocked against my hand, his tongue tasting and licking me while his hands grabbed my ass.

  “Seth, please,” I urg
ed, grabbing a fistful of his hair. Pulling his face into mine, I kissed him with all of me, our tongues twisting and dancing, and making love to each other.

  “Josie,” he growled, and then backed away. In world-record time he took off his shorts. Having a clear view of him, I bit into my lip, thinking how beautiful he was, all of him, inside and out. He put on a condom and hovered over me again. His naked body touching mine sent all sorts of tingles through me. It got worse when his dick rubbed at the entrance between my legs. Then inserting just the tip, in and out, Seth was teasing me and it had me aching and throbbing. I was so wet that if he wanted to, he could slip right in. Fuck! What was he doing to me?

  Cupping my face with his hands, he said, “Josie, I’ve kept you close to my heart all these years. And without knowing, I have loved you all these years and could never love another girl wholly. I never knew why until now. I didn’t realize it, but I was waiting for you.”

  Just as he finished his words, he plunged into me. I gasped and my breath fluttered out. Pleasure like I had never known before burst inside me, like tiny fireworks exploding all over in the most glorious way as he rocked my body.

  “Oh, Seth,” I moaned. His eyes pierced into mine heatedly, full of desire and want. I couldn’t believe I was on Seth’s bed, sharing the most intimate precious moment together. I felt so small, withering under his strong body, yet felt so big, filled with so many happy emotions I couldn’t describe. They filled me up from head to toe, every inch of me.

  “Josie, you feel so fuckin’ good. I want to stay like this forever,” he groaned into my neck, devouring me with his lips.

  “Don’t stop,” I urged, pressing my fingers into his shoulders, then on his back when he started pumping faster.

  “I need more of you. I want to feel every inch of you. I want to make up for all those years I missed you.” Every word he spoke reached deeper inside. With every word he spoke I gasped at the impact, the power and strength of him. My toes curled, unable to take it anymore. He had filled me up, and then some. I didn’t know how long it had been, but I was over the edge, panting, and so was Seth as sweat beaded along his forehead.

  “Seth,” I moaned again. My head tossed and turned, and I felt my body turn to Jell-O. I’d lost control of my muscles and lost my mind in intense pleasure.

  When he was spent, his body jerked. He stretched out next to me, intertwining his fingers through mine. Our breathing synchronized in the same frenzied rhythm and our breath released hot and heavy.

  Seth pulled me to him, our sweaty bodies melting as one. With one arm under my neck, his other hand covered my ass.

  “I love your ass, Josie.” He lightly smacked it.

  “I love your abs, Seth.” I caressed him there.

  “I love your beautiful eyes.” He ran his finger along my brows.

  “I love your lips.” I outlined his lips with the tip of my finger.

  “I love you, Josie Rosie,” Seth said sincerely. His eyes were full of love for me.

  “I love you more than you will ever know, Seth.”

  We cuddled in the same position as his warm body penetrated heat through mine, and then we fell asleep.

  CHAPTER 35

  Josie

  It had been a several weeks since Seth left for Berkeley. Though we talked on the phone every day and Skyped, it wasn’t the same. I loved my job. Being a manager of a restaurant was my dream, and Seth had given it to me openhanded. Debbie had been an angel, guiding me and showing me the ropes.

  It was weird at first, living with Seth’s mom without him, but I quickly adjusted from her kindness and open arms. Sometimes we had dinner together, depending on the time I came home from work. And sometimes, she would come for a visit at the restaurant—not to check up on me, but to have some company. I was thankful that she let me handle the restaurant my way. I even set up Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram accounts, posting the specials of the week. She loved those ideas and praised me for them, especially since I’d brought in double the customers since I started working.

  Mom was doing well. The social worker helped her find a roommate that was in the same program as her. She also got a job at a local bank, working as a teller. Though we didn’t talk every day, I visited her once a week. Once in a while Lexy and I would talk on the phone, and once in a while I would have dinner with Elijah and Alex. They were becoming my friends as well.

  Summer came and went, and fall took over, taking away the green color from the trees, and replacing it with orange, yellow, and red leaves. It wasn’t that cold yet, but I had to wear a light sweater at night.

  It was Labor Day weekend and Seth was home. I had promised earlier that I would introduce him to my mom when I thought I was ready. And I was.

  Gazing around, I spotted my mom already seated. “She’s right over there,” I said to the waitress, pointing at the booth near the restroom. I didn’t wait for her to answer; I tugged Seth along, our fingers intertwining.

  “Mom.” I stood in front of her. Her hair was combed neatly, shorter than the last time I’d seen her, about shoulder length. She wore black pants and a lavender blouse. She looked so professional and ready to conquer the world.

  Mom stood up to greet me. Her arms reached out to me like she was going to hold me, but when I didn’t make an effort, she rubbed my arms instead. “Josefina. You look lovely.”

  Funny, I didn’t look any different. I’d always worn jeans and a T-shirt when I came to see her. “Mom.” I took a step back, causing her to drop her hands. “This is Seth.”

  “Seth. It’s nice to meet you.” Mom offered her hand.

  He took it. “It’s nice to meet you too, Mrs. Anders.”

  “Call me Donna.”

  After the greeting, we sat down.

  Seth

  “Call me Donna,” Josie’s mom said.

  I nodded, but I hadn’t planned on it. Calling her by the first name meant we were friends and I wasn’t ready for that yet.

  Josie didn’t get her good looks from her mom. They had the same hair color and the same beautiful eyes, but Josie was a couple of inches taller than her. A few wrinkles creased Donna’s forehead; other than that, she looked fairly young for her age. It was hard to look into her eyes, knowing all the terrible things she’d done to her daughter. When I shook her hand, I cringed, and I wondered if it was a genuine or a fake smile she gave me.

  It wasn’t fair of me to think those thoughts. She couldn’t help what she had done to Josie that had been caused by her mental problems. It was just too bad that it took this long to fix it when she could’ve avoided all the pain for her family earlier. But I guessed when someone was in that deep of a hell, they couldn’t see anything else but the darkness.

  With one arm behind Josie, I looked at the menu. Though Josie was older and her mom was taking medication, I had the need to protect Josie. I caressed her back, letting her know I was there for her. After we ordered, we engaged in small talk.

  “Josie tells me you’ll be graduating next year with an MBA,” Mrs. Anders said, folding her hands in her lap. Sitting up tall, she looked nervous.

  “Yes. This year will be my last year.” I was short and to the point. I didn’t know how much Josie wanted me to share with her mom.

  “Will you be moving back East, or will Josie—” She stopped, then turned her attention to Josie, looking at her to check if she could continue what she wanted to ask.

  “I haven’t decided yet. It will depend on the firm I’m working for,” I answered quickly. She was trying to probe to see what Josie would do. Since I hadn’t discussed it with Josie yet, I wasn’t going to share with her mom.

  “Oh. Kids have to grow up. They can’t stay with their parents forever,” she commented, smiling and focusing her eyes on the utensils.

  I smiled to agree and listened while taking sips of my water.

  “How’s work, Mom?” Josie asked, rubbing my leg under the table.

  “Work is good. I’ll get evaluated next week, and if all goe
s well, I might get a raise.” She sounded excited.

  “And your roommate. You like her?” Josie asked.

  “She’s a strange one, but she’s nice. We have dinner sometimes, and we carpool when we have to attend our meetings.”

  It sounded strange to hear their conversation. If I didn’t know any better, Josie sounded more like the mother. You don’t get to choose your parents, so I was lucky with mine, even if one had to leave earlier than expected.

  Thank God, the food came. It was awkward, but it needed to be done. Josie’s mom was in her life whether I liked it or not. And Josie had the biggest heart to take care of her after all that had happened. I would make an effort to be nice to her as long as she was good to Josie. Once she crossed that line, my protective mode would step in, and I didn’t know what I would do. I couldn’t protect her when we were in the sixth grade, but damn it to hell, I could do it now.

  After we finished our meal, I paid the bill. Using the excuse that we were meeting friends, though it was true, Josie arranged a time to meet her mom another day, and then we left.

  “Why did you ask us to meet here?” I asked Elijah, sounding confused and irate. “It’s a cemetery. What could we possibly do here?”

  Elijah cocked a brow at me. Gripping his leather jacket with both of his hands, he sighed in annoyance. “I know where we are, Seth. We’re here to see your dad.”

  “What?” I stammered, then immediately calmed down when I felt Josie’s hand slip into mine.

  Alex gave me an uncertain smile. “Just go with it, Seth, please. It will do you some good.”

  “Do some good? Do what good? My dad is dead. I mean—” I didn’t want to raise my voice, especially at Alex, but it was coming out that way. “My dad isn’t here.”

  Elijah tilted his head toward a tombstone. “He’s not here physically, but he’s right over there.”