Hope's River

by McHeyzer , Margaret

  “Oh my God! Yes, that’s a great idea. These people are professionals, they have sex for a living. They’ve got to be doing something right.”

  River starts laughing. “I suppose. But there’s some out there that’s not so legal.”

  “Wait, porn is legal? Hmm, I wonder what they put on their tax returns under ‘Occupation.’ Huh, interesting.” River lifts his phone from the small side-table and starts scrolling through it. “Are you getting us some porn to watch?” I eagerly ask.

  “Hope, this is awkward enough as it is. Can we just…” He makes a hand gesture to quell my questions. I’m curious, that’s all. “Can we maybe not talk about porn, because it’s doing the complete opposite of what it usually does to my body.”

  I can’t help it. I burst into laughter. “I’m sorry,” I say as I roll on my side, holding my stomach. “It’s just, I haven’t watched porn, and you have.”

  “Doesn’t mean I can do what those guys do. Man, how weird is this. Talking to my girlfriend about porn. And my girlfriend wanting to watch it with me.”

  I sit up, suddenly deadly serious. “I’m your girlfriend?”

  “Yeah, of course you are.”

  He stands in front of me, I jump up and into his arms. Kissing him is so natural. We just, fit. All my inhibitions disappear, and I tear at his clothing, not even caring that neither of us have had any experience at this. It doesn’t matter. Not now. We’ll learn together, tonight.

  River lowers me, and steps back. “Oh man, come on,” I say. “Don’t tell me you want to wait for marriage or something.” I back away from River, and sit on the edge of the bed.

  He doesn’t say a single word. Instead, he walks over to me, leans down and just when I think he’s about to kiss me, he licks my neck while unfastening my bra. Shit, my heart pounds as my skin burns with desire.

  He gently pulls my bra off, exposing my breasts. Kneeling in front of me, he unbuttons my jeans, and starts to slide them down. “Lift your butt,” he says so he can get my jeans past my hips.

  Holy shit, this is really happening. Like really, really happening.

  My mouth dries as my pulse quickens. River stands, takes off his shirt, and slides his jeans down his legs.

  We’re both in this hotel room River’s rented, stark naked. Neither of us know what we’re doing. My eyes follow his chest, down to his cock. Jesus. “Are you okay?” he asks.

  “I understand the fundamentals of how everything works. I’m just worried it might hurt.”

  “It probably will, but I’ll go slow, okay?” I nod. “You know my eyes are up here, Hope.” I lift my gaze to find River smiling. Was I gawking? Oops.

  “Look, there’s something else.” I cringe having to bring this up.

  “Jesus, Hope. You’re gonna make me self-conscious. What is it?”

  “Protection. I want you to wear a condom.”

  He sighs a relieved breath. “I had no idea where this was going, but wearing a condom wasn’t what I was expecting, not from you.”

  “I bought some!” I eagerly say.

  “You did?”

  “Yeah, what do you think this is? I am eighteen, and pretty open about everything.”

  River lightly smacks his forehead. “You did want to watch porn.”

  “Speaking of which, should we watch some? Get some ideas on how to do this?”

  “I’ve got ideas,” River says.

  I look up at River. This has turned really awkward. Neither of us are doing anything, and judging by River’s deflation, I think he’s finding this weird as well. Not a great first time for either of us. “Um.” River uncomfortably looks around the room. “Look, I think we’re both too stressed about this. Putting too much pressure on ourselves.”

  “Thank God.” He sits beside me. “Why don’t I find us some porn. And if anything happens, it happens, if it doesn’t, then it doesn’t.”

  I let out a breath and smile. “Yeah, okay.” This really hasn’t gone the way I thought it would. It’s nothing like a romance movie or book. They make it all sweet and nice. This is super awkward. “I’m cold. Look my nipples are sticking out,” I say to River, shoving my boob toward him.

  River stops scrolling through his phone to look at my boob. A darkness overtakes him. He drops the phone, and launches himself toward my breast. Holy shit! He sucks on my nipple, teasing, and flicking it with his tongue.

  That one small act has flipped a switch inside me. Suddenly, a shiver rips down my spine, causing me to shudder and moan. “Oh yeah,” I say as I lay back on the bed.

  River hovers over me, his body pushing up against mine. I drag my nails down his back. My eyes roll back, as a flood of pleasure tingles down my spine. His mouth peppers small kisses down to my naval, then kisses me softly across from one hip to another. Is he going to…hell yeah, he is!

  “Holy shit,” I murmur when his mouth and his tongue are doing things to my pussy.

  “Are you okay?” His hot breath brushes up against my inner thigh.

  “Yeah. Keep going,” I say. I feel him smiling before he works his magic between my thighs. With my eyes closed, and my fingers entwined in River’s hair, I relax into the sensation of River’s magic mouth and tongue. The warmth is quickly rising in me as River’s mouth increases in tempo. An overwhelming desire shudders between my legs.

  “Do you like this?” he asks.

  I nod furiously, not sure if he’s looking. Grabbing his hair, I revel in the excitement of him between my legs. My hunger grows, desperate for him to continue as the heat nearly has me ready to combust. “Faster,” I rasp. River brings me right to the brink of explosion, teasing, prying every morsel of ecstasy out of me. “Holy shit,” I say as I clench my legs around his head. My body convulses, but nothing like I’ve ever managed to do on my own.

  River looks up, his face glistening from me. “I have to do that again,” he proudly claims.

  Slowly, he kisses back up my highly sensitive body. I’m not sure if I want to push him away, or flip him and climb on top of him. To hell with it. “Lie on your back,” I say.

  “Gladly.” He lays down, and places his hands behind his head. He thinks he’s going to get a blow job. Nope, not right now. Getting off the bed, I go to my bag, open the box of condoms, and take one out. I’ve been practicing. I knew this was going to happen, and I didn’t want to fumble as I roll one on him. Ripping the foil packet open with my teeth, I go back to the bed and straddle his legs. “I thought…”

  “Nope, sorry. Later. I want to do this now.” Grabbing his cock, I’m surprised by the feel of it. It’s really warm, and hard, but the skin is soft, like velvet. I wonder what it would feel like if it wasn’t hard. I wonder, if I was a guy if I’d spend all my time touching myself. I chuckle.

  “Oh yeah, great! You’ve got my dick in your hand, and you laughed.”

  “I was just thinking that if I was a guy if I’d have my hand on my cock all the time. And I wondered what it feels like soft.”

  “Hope, can you maybe not think about things that make you laugh while my dick is in your hand?”

  I let go of his cock. “I’m sorry,” I say as I lower my head. “This is weird for me. And I think it would be awkward for you too.”

  “My head was between your legs, and no, it wasn’t weird. Actually, I really enjoyed it. So, can you please shut up and finish what you were doing?” he says in an easier tone.

  “Sorry. It’s just, I’m nervous and my mind is going crazy.”

  He sits up in bed, and kisses me softly. Eww, I’m not sure I like how he tastes. However, the taste is me. I suppose, if he can go down on me, then I shouldn’t think about it as “eww,” and more like, wow, this guy went down on me and did it happily.

  Stop thinking, Hope. Just feel.

  I break away from the kiss, and push him back so he’s lying down again. Smiling, I take his cock in my hand and instantly, I feel it flex. He likes this, and I like that I can do this for him.

  Pinching the top of the condom, I
roll it down his hard cock. Okay, we can do this. We may both be virgins, but after this, we won’t be. We’re learning together, and I really like that we’re both fumbling through this experience.

  Once the condom is on, I suddenly become nervous. “I’m going to go slow, okay?” Licking his lips, he nods. I position myself over River, lining him up with me. Slowly, I lower on him.

  Ugh, this is slightly uncomfortable. It’s kind of pinching, and stretching me but not terribly painful.

  “You okay?” River asks as he places his hands on my hips.

  “Yeah, I just want to go slow.”

  “Go as slow as you need. But my God,” He presses his lips together. “You feel so good.”

  It takes me a few minutes, but I finally sink down on him. Yeah, this is good. Slowly, I move my hips, loving the feeling between us. River’s eyes are wide open while he watches me moving on him.

  Yep, I think I’ve got the hang of this. The feeling is unbelievable. It’s intoxicating. I can do this again, and again, and again.

  The fact we’re both virgins, correction, were virgins, makes it even better. I can’t wait until he comes back, so we can do this for the whole time he’s here.

  God, I love this, and I think, I love him too. Actually, I think I’ve loved him since we were sixteen.

  Monday

  Stretching in bed, I feel the delicious ache of everything River and I did yesterday. Touching my lips, I remember every taste, every pleasure, every sensation our entwined bodies felt.

  The touch of his fingertips as he drew circles on my back.

  The taste of his lips on mine.

  The thrill of our heated skin as we explored each other’s bodies.

  Hmmm, yes. God, I already miss him, and it’s only been a few hours.

  And the one thing I despised was saying goodbye to him when I had to go home. I hated knowing that this morning, he and his family will be leaving to go back home.

  Reaching for my phone, my hand feels for it on my night stand. Wait, where is it? Jumping out of bed, I search around my night stand. Shit, shit, shit. Getting on my knees, I look under my bed.

  Fuck.

  I pull the pillows off my bed, and move the mattress. It’s nowhere.

  “Mom!” I yell. It’s early, and I know she’ll still be in bed. “Mom!” I rush into my parents’ room.

  “What is it?” Mom asks as she blinks a few times.

  “Have you seen my phone?” I ask, looking around frantically.

  “What?” She pushes the covers back, and sits on the side of the bed.

  “My phone. Have you seen it?” I run out to where my bag is and ruffle through it trying to find my God damned phone.

  Shit.

  It’s not in here. Wait, is it on the kitchen counter? I search the kitchen. It’s not here.

  “Did you lose your phone again?” Dad asks as he enters the kitchen, grabs a glass, and fills it with water from the faucet.

  “What? No. Please no, no, no, no,” I say frantically trying to find my phone.

  “What’s going on?” Mom joins us in the kitchen as she ties her dressing gown belt around her waist.

  “Can I borrow your phone? I can’t find mine.”

  Mom lifts her brows as she tilts her head to the side. Slowly, her brows lower, and her mouth downturns. She walks back toward her room. “I told you, we’re not replacing it again, Hope.”

  Please, please, please let it be somewhere in the house. “Mom?” She’s taking too long, so I go in search of where she is.

  “Here.”

  Mom reaches me before I’m in her room. She thrusts the phone in my hands. Dialing my number, I bring it to my ear, and when it starts ringing, I lower her phone, and try to hear where mine is. I can’t hear it anywhere. With each ring, my heart sinks lower and lower. “Shit!” I yell.

  “You’ve lost it again, haven’t you?”

  “No, I don’t think I have. It’s got to be here.” I try again. This time, it goes straight through to voicemail. “No!” I say, closing my eyes, and lowering my head. Wait, they’re not flying out for another hour. I can make it to the airport. “Can I borrow your car?” I ask Mom.

  “Why? What’s happening?”

  “I have River’s number and address in my phone, but I can’t find it. I need to go to the airport, because they leave in an hour.”

  Dad looks the clock on the microwave. “You won’t make it in an hour, Hope. Not with traffic. And not to mention, the airport is nearly an hour away. You know you have to be at the airport and ready to go at least an hour before you leave. Which means, you won’t make it.”

  I turn to Mom, desperate for her to understand. “I have to try. Please,” I plead. “Please.”

  Mom grabs onto my hands, and smiles. “You’ll be late for work.”

  “Please, I have to make it. I don’t have any other way to get hold of him.”

  “Look, it’s futile, you’re not going to make it on time, and all that’ll happen will be you’ll end up upset and disappointed. And that’s if you don’t get a speeding ticket trying.” My shoulders drop forward. “But, if it’ll bring some peace of mind to you to try, then take my car and go. But remember, you have work.”

  Ugh, shit. “Can you call Tony and let him know I’ll be late please? I don’t have a phone now I lost it.”

  “Nope, you have to do it. I’m sorry, Hope. You need to learn how to be responsible for your things, and your actions,” Mom says. She walks over to the fridge and opens it, getting the juice out and pouring herself a glass.

  Pulling the stool out from under the island counter, I plonk my ass on it. Running my hand through my bed head, I don’t know what to do. If I call Tony and tell him I’ll be late for work, he’ll lose it on me. And logically, I know I won’t make it to the airport on time. It’s impossible to get there within an hour even if there’s no traffic and I get every green light between here and there.

  I just spent the best four days of my life with River. Someone I never thought I’d ever see again. And now, because of my own carelessness, I’ll have to wait until he comes to find me, because I don’t even know his address or phone number.

  “Maybe he’s listed,” Mom says with a softness to her voice.

  “Yeah, maybe he is.” My gut is saying: he’s left again. But this time, I’m pretty sure it’s for the last time.

  My skin prickles with tiny goosebumps of disappointment. I can’t believe I’ve lost him, again.

  “How are the permits coming? What do we still need?” I ask Charlie as I walk the now empty kitchen. “Looks so much bigger, doesn’t it?”

  “Yeah, it does. It’s going to be massive once we add the square footage in the back. I checked with the town planner, and the permits should be ready by the end of the week.”

  “Okay. The front and back are looking good. I didn’t know what to expect with all that trash that was everywhere, and it being so overgrown. But it looks great. I can see what we’re working with now.”

  Charlie leans against the wall and crosses his arms over his chest. “Want a crew starting Saturday?”

  I click my tongue to the roof of my mouth. “Start them Monday, in case there’s any resistance for the permits. I don’t expect it, but we both know anything can happen. Still, let’s do what we can ourselves.”

  “Have you seen the size of this house? And you want to make it bigger. You think we can do this on our own?”

  “Don’t be an idiot. I don’t think we can do this on our own, but let’s do what we can.”

  Charlie pushes off from the wall, and comes over to me, hugging me. “What’s wrong, sis? You seem flat.”

  “Yeah, I am. I’ve got a lot on my mind, that’s all.” Stepping back, I close my eyes, and let out a long sigh. “It’s River,” I say.

  “River? Why what’s happening with you?”

  “He asked me out.”

  “Oh, cool. Are you going to go?” Opening my eyes, I find I’m already shaking my head. “Wh
y?”

  “We have history, Charlie. And I’m not sure I want to revisit it.”

  “Well, this is getting interesting. I remember you’ve known him since school,” he pauses and lifts his brows. “And I know you fell for him hard. Is that all?” he drags the last word, like he’s skeptical.

  “Do you really want to know?”

  “Do I have to kick his ass? Because I so will.” He puffs his chest out, all masculine. “Not like you need me protecting you. Actually, I should be protecting him!” He smiles.

  “We have history, okay? Like close history.” Charlie screws his nose. “I’m not telling you anything, so calm your ass.”

  “Phew, dodged a bullet.” He wipes at his forehead, then places his hand to his chest. “So, what’s the problem?”

  “I’m not sure I want to revisit what we kind of had.”

  “Is it bad? Did he cheat on you or something?”

  “No, nothing like that. It’s hard to talk about, and I’m not sure if I want to get into it with him. But it feels like fate’s bringing us together again.”

  Charlie rolls his eyes. “Fate? Really. That’s another word for mumbo-jumbo, bullshit.”

  “You don’t believe in fate?”

  “Oh my God. Here we go. The whole ‘the universe has bigger plans for us’ crap.” He wiggles his fingers in the air and widens his eyes. “It’s just a way for those new age freaks to make a buck or two.”

  Ugh, it’s like talking to a brick wall. “River and I have a past, and he asked me out on a date. But, there’s so much we haven’t talked about, and I’m not even sure I want to.”

  “Then don’t go.”

  “But he’s working for me now. I can’t avoid him when he’s doing the electrical for the house.”

  “Look.” Charlie places his hands on my shoulders. “The moment this house is flipped, we’re out of here. Back to where we belong. This is a small town, with a bunch of small-minded people.”

  “Hey,” I say, defending all the wonderful people I’ve met. “Who’s spouting the bullshit now? These people came here and helped us without us asking for it. That’s not a small-minded mentality. That’s something we’ve never seen before, so don’t go saying shit about this town, okay?”