Hope's River

by McHeyzer , Margaret

  “You know, you could always start a fire to keep her here longer,” Jake says as he leans over the table, and breaks.

  “First, I think the sheriff would arrest me, and second.” I hold up two fingers. “Matthew and Thomas.”

  Jake laughs as he stands back and waits for me to take my turn. “How are those two working out?”

  “They’re good kids. Matthew’s decent, and Thomas is too. But I don’t like his father.”

  “I’ve been keeping an eye on him. The way he spoke to his wife that night, sends up red flags to me. I know scumbags when I see them.”

  “Why don’t you step in then?” I lean over the table, and take my turn. The ball rolls toward the side pocket, and narrowly misses, rolling away.

  “It’s not the way the law works, River. I can’t barge in there, tearing a family apart. Don’t worry. I’m keeping an eye on them. But if you see something, you need to let me know.”

  “Only that the father is a jerk.”

  Jake takes his shot, sinking two balls in one go. “If I was to arrest everyone for being assholes, I’m sure you would’ve been on the list a few times.” I stick my middle finger up at him, and he laughs. “How mature,” he teases.

  “I know the kid is working over at the house, so I’ll keep an eye on him too.”

  “Thanks.” Jake doesn’t take his eyes off the table. He takes another shot, and sinks that ball too. He’s going to kick my butt, damn it. “Got cash on you, or do I have to escort you to an ATM?”

  I shrug one shoulder, take the last swig from my beer bottle and look over to the bar. “Don’t know what you’re talking about,” I say, pretending we didn’t make that fifty-dollar bet.

  Jake straightens from the table, and walks over to me. “I can arrest you,” he says with a smirk.

  “For what?”

  “Who cares. I’ll find something.”

  Asshole. “I’ve got your money,” I grumble as I take my wallet out of my back pocket.

  “Good.” He leans over the table, and cleans up.

  “You know, now I know why you don’t have any friends.” I smack the fifty-dollar bill on the table. “No one actually likes you. Hell, I’m only here because you have a gun and a badge. Other than that, I don’t think much of ya.”

  Jake picks the fifty up, tips his head and shoves it into his pocket. “I’m only here for your money.”

  “Again?”

  “You want to lose another fifty? Sure thing. Fine by me.”

  “I’ll make ya a deal.”

  “Aha.” Jake looks at me from the other side of the table as he racks the balls up.

  “If I win, you have to give me back my fifty dollars.”

  “And?”

  “And what?” I question.

  “That’s if you win, what if I win…again?”

  I scratch my chin, pretending to think. “You give me back my fifty-dollars.”

  “So? What you’re saying is I give you back your fifty-dollars either way?”

  “Great deal.” I hold my hand out to him to shake on it.

  Jake does the whole ‘sheriff’ face with me, which incidentally doesn’t work. So I thrust my hand out further for him to shake. He takes the fifty out of his pocket, goes to hand it to me, then shoves it back. “Nope. But let’s play again.”

  Damn it.

  “Hi.”

  I’m momentarily confused as to where that hi came from. Turning, there’s a cute blonde a good head shorter than me, sipping her cocktail through a straw. “Hi,” I respond.

  “I’m Lucy.” She holds her hand out to me.

  “River.” I shake her hand, and go back to our game.

  “Hi, I’m Lucy,” she says to Jake, and holds her hand out to him. What is it with this chick?

  “Jake,” he replies in a curt, no-nonsense voice.

  “My friend Michelle and I are passing through, and thought we’d stop for a drink and something to eat.”

  Wait, is she trying to pick me or Jake up?

  Go away. “That’s great.” I look behind her, and don’t see anyone else.

  “She’s in the bathroom.” Not interested. “So…” She looks around awkwardly. This isn’t going the way she wants it to.

  “Where are you from?” I ask, instantly regretting the small talk.

  “We’re making our way over to LA.” She smiles. She’s cute and all, but not my type at all. I notice she didn’t answer my question.

  “You’re a long way away from LA.” I take my shot, and notice Jake’s chuckling. Save me, man.

  “Yeah, we don’t really have anywhere to stay tonight,” the chick says. Shit, what’s her name again?

  “There’s a motel about fifteen minutes that way.” Jake points to the north. “It’s safe, clean, and reasonably priced.”

  I turn away so she doesn’t notice me smiling. Jake has essentially shut her down.

  “Oh, right. Well, thank you,” she says as she backs away from us and walks back to wherever she came from.

  Jake and I continue playing pool, when I look over my shoulder to see where the girl is. She’s disappeared, nowhere to be seen. “You know she was hitting on me?” I say to Jake.

  “And?”

  “Just saying, she was hitting on me, and not you. Makes me better looking.”

  “I’ve still got your money, so makes me richer. Anyway, I probably did you a favor.”

  “Don’t get me wrong, you definitely did. But I just want to rub it in… I’m much better looking.”

  “Whatever, Romeo. Play.” He jerks his chin toward the pool table.

  “Wow,” I say as I stand at the entrance, taking in how amazing this house is looking.

  “Tell me about it,” Charlie says as he comes to stand beside me. “The drywall is all up. Today I’m installing all the wainscoting downstairs. The floors upstairs should be going in today, and once I’ve finished with the wainscoting, the floors will go in downstairs.”

  “It’s a shame we had to rip those hardwood floors up, but there was no way we could’ve saved them with all these drastic changes.”

  “This place is going to look amazing once you’ve finished with it, Hope.” Charlie folds his arms in front of his chest, looking as proud as I feel.

  “You know what I’m absolutely loving?” I say as I walk toward the back. I push open the glass folding door. “These doors are nothing short of amazing.”

  “Maybe we can use them on some other houses when we get back home.”

  I turn to look at him. “Wait, you don’t want to stay? A few weeks ago, you were ready to move here. What happened?”

  Charlie looks down, then runs his hand through his hair and rubs the back of his neck. “Let’s just say, nothing.”

  “Did you hook up with someone?” I grab onto his arm, needing to know what’s happening. “Who? What’s going on?”

  “Nothing.” He walks back into where the kitchen is supposed to be. “What do you think if we frame this in so there’s the butler’s pantry here, and under the stairs we can frame it for extra storage?” He’s gone back to being cold Charlie.

  “What happened?” I persist.

  Charlie shakes his head. “She, um,” his voice cracks. Jesus, I’ve never seen Charlie like this before. He takes a moment to gather himself. Clearing his throat, he points to the space under the stairs. “What do you want to do here? I think it’ll be a complete waste of an opportunity for extra storage if we don’t do something. Frame it in, or shelves? What do you think?”

  He doesn’t want to talk about it. I have to respect him enough to leave it alone. “So the counter will be here, right?” I switch back to boss mode, and not sister mode.

  “Yeah. It’ll be from here, to here.” He walks the length of the counter.

  “Shit, that’s massive. Okay, and the butler’s pantry is going in here?” I point to where the frame is starting to come together. Charlie nods. “Range here, with a slide up induction hood. Huge barnyard sink here?” Charlie nods
again. I stand back to think how this could all work. “And counter all along the back wall, right?”

  “Right,” Charlie confirms.

  In my head, there’s a clear picture of how this can work. If I move the butler’s pantry and enclose the space, it’ll look too boxy, and closed in. That’s not going to sell as an open concept kitchen. If I bring the wall up on the butler’s pantry, and stop it short of where the island counter is, it’ll make getting around the island difficult.

  “Yeah, whatever we do, it’s going to close the kitchen off, and give it a pokey little room feel,” Charlie says. “I’ve been trying to think of all scenarios to make it work without closing it off.”

  I gasp. Light bulb moment. “Why don’t we leave the island as it is, and instead of creating the butler’s pantry to go that way, we flip it and make it go this way? That will mean it’s still open here, and we have a wall going here, but it looks like a continuous wall?” I turn to Charlie to get his feedback.

  “We’ll need to change the plumbing in the butler’s pantry, but it’ll definitely work.”

  “How much to change the plumbing?”

  Charlie tilts his head down, and looks up at me with high brows and wide eyes. “A few hundred for the timber at most.”

  “Then let’s get it done.”

  “Great, we should be able to start painting by mid to late next week.”

  “And the bathrooms upstairs? Have they been drywalled? Ready to go?” I ask.

  “Not yet. I didn’t order enough water-resistant drywall. Three of the bathrooms are done, and the fourth is nearly finished. It’ll be done today when the rest of the drywall is delivered. All the bedrooms upstairs and downstairs have all been sound-proofed like what we talked about last week.”

  Looking around, I know there’s more work to be done. If I stay and do things around here, maybe River will show because there’s more electrical work that needs to be done. I want to impair something so Charlie has to call him, forcing River to come out. Ugh. I hate feeling like this. I should tell him how I feel.

  But he said he was done with me. Maybe he means he’s done with me for good. Jesus, have I screwed this up?

  “What’s wrong?” Charlie asks.

  “Huh?” I look at him, then quickly turn away.

  “You haven’t been the same for the last few weeks. You’re distracted, and you’re irritable, and frankly, I’m not liking being around you.” He leans against the wall, and crosses his arms in front of his chest. Charlie isn’t going anywhere until I talk to him. One of the contractors walks in and stops at the door, staring between Charlie and myself. His eyes widen and I see him suck in a breath. “Give us a moment please,” Charlie asks the contractor.

  “Sure thing.” The contractor takes a few steps backward and leaves.

  “What is it? Is the house too much for you?” Lifting my chin, I narrow my eyes at him. “River?” My shoulders instantly slump. “You dancing around how you feel?” I let out a sigh and roll my eyes. “You can’t live a life of not being happy.”

  “I am happy!” I snap way too harshly.

  “Huh.” Charlie’s voice is thick with sarcasm. “Then why have you been so out-of-sorts lately? Actually, you haven’t been all that awesome.”

  I shoot him a sideways glance. “Awesome? You think I’m awesome?”

  “I think you’re the best chick I know. But you’ve been walking around like your head is up your ass recently.”

  “Oh, nice, Charlie.”

  “If I don’t tell you that you’re being an asshole, who will? Maybe other people are too polite to tell you how you make them feel.”

  What the hell? “Now you’re saying I make other people feel like shit? Thanks a lot.” What a way to make me feel worse than I already do. I turn to walk out of the room.

  “Hey. Stop being a raging cow.”

  My brows fly up, and I swing around to have it out with Charlie. “Oh, so you can’t even call me a bitch.”

  “Because that’s not a word I use. Anyway, you’re the one who’s being all high and mighty.” He flips his hand up through the air. “Why can’t you just get it together?”

  “Says the guy whose longest relationship has been with his hand,” I angrily spit.

  “As opposed to the woman who every time she gets close to what she wants, she finds a way to screw it up.”

  “Have you and River both been talking? Because he said the same thing. You think I sabotage myself?”

  “No, we haven’t talked, because believe it or not, you’re my sister and I have your fucking back. But I think you’re hell bent on avoiding being happy. Why are you so damn scared to go for what you want? You’re the ballsiest chick I know, but you’re adamant about not giving this a real go with River.”

  “You have no idea what you’re talking about!” I come up to him, and square off with him. He’s pushed me and I’m ready for a damn fight.

  “Really? Isn’t it funny how you jumped into a relationship with Grady, but you never had a smile in your eyes for him the way you do for River. When you’re around River, you’re so much lighter, freer. I think you went to Grady because you knew you could never love him. It was a safe play.”

  I’m not even sure what comes over me, but I smack Charlie across the face. For a few seconds, with a wide mouth, and big eyes, I’m staring at Charlie. He tilts his head, Charlie is as shocked as I am by the slap. He immediately steps forward, and wraps his arms around me. “I’m so sorry,” I say as I cover my face and cry. “I’m sorry.”

  “You’ve gotta get it together, Hope.”

  “I’m trying,” I say between sobs.

  “I love you, and I have a lot of respect for you. You’ve always been so damn strong. But it’s okay to let your guard down, and tell River how you feel about him. It’s okay to love so hard and so deeply that you don’t ever want to come up for air,” his voice is soft, and brittle.

  Have I been so caught up in myself that I haven’t even seen the pain Charlie’s going through? Stepping back, I wipe my eyes, then give him a kiss on the cheek. My own self-absorption has prevented me from seeing how much Charlie is hurting. The silence in the room is deafening, it’s killing me to know he’s in pain, and I can’t help him. I can’t help him until I help myself. “Whoever broke your heart, Charlie, I hope they know the great guy they’ve walked away from.”

  He blinks rapidly a few times, before clearing his throat. He clicks his tongue to the roof of his mouth as he turns away. “It doesn’t matter. I’m not cut out for any long-term commitments anyway.” That very sentence breaks my heart. Because although Charlie has said the words, I can tell by the sheer pain echoing through them, that he’s fallen deeply for someone who doesn’t want him. I have my suspicions about who that is.

  With his back to me, I head over, and hug him. Hard.

  I need to fix this.

  Hell, I need to fix me.

  May’s outside tending to her vegetable garden when I drive up the long, dusty driveway. She sees me, and waves when I get out of the truck. “You finished for the day already?” she calls.

  I head over to her, and shoo a chicken away as it pecks around my feet. “I’m going to take a shower, and feed The Cat, and sit outside to listen to some music.”

  “Oh boy. It’s like that, is it?” she asks as she takes in my appearance. “You look like someone’s kicked your cat. I don’t think music is going to cut it. And nor is a shower. Get your stuff, and go in and use my bathtub. I’ve got a bottle of whiskey that’s open, and there’s dinner in the oven.”

  She’s so beautiful. “I don’t want to impose on your and Tabitha’s time.”

  “Stop your fussing, girly. Tabitha isn’t here tonight. She’s gone somewhere. I don’t know where.” She shrugs. “Now, get.” She flicks her hand at me. “You know where the bathroom is. Go.”

  “Thank you, May.”

  “Aha.” She keeps tending to her vegetables, and the chickens keep pecking around where she is.
/>
  Walking back to the stable, I grab a set of clothes.

  Meow.

  “Yes, I know, you’re hungry. You decided to sleep all day, have you?” I pet Cat under the chin, as he lifts his head from my bed to watch me get my clothes ready for my bath. Cat jumps up, and circles around my legs while I prepare his dinner. I place his bowl on the floor and he sits down in front of it, and with delicate manners, he nibbles away at his food. I clean the litter box out before picking up my clothes and heading back over to May’s.

  “May?” I call when I get to her front door. I don’t hear anything from inside, so I walk along the porch to see she’s still outside in her vegetable garden. “May?”

  She lifts her head, and waves. “Go in.”

  “Thank you.” Heading inside, I walk into her beautiful bathroom, and run the water in her luxurious claw-foot tub. Stripping my clothes off, I climb in, and rest my head on the back as the water slowly fills the tub. Closing my eyes, I relax and enjoy the warmth of the water and the complete quiet.

  Charlie’s words are stuck in my mind. Did I start a relationship with Grady knowing I could never fully love him? Have I been waiting for River all my life? I can’t get what Charlie said out of my mind. Am I not going to be fully committed to any future relationships because they’re not River? Does that mean, the only man I’ll ever truly love is River?

  “Man,” I say to myself as I open my eyes and look at my toes sticking out of the top of the water. Dunking my head under, I come up and look around the bathroom. “I’m fucked,” I admit. “Truly screwed.”

  I don’t know what to do.

  Laying back, I try and clear my mind of everything, and just relax in the warm water.

  Placing my arms on the edges of the tub, I tilt my head back, looking at the ceiling. Shit, is that mold up in the corner? I’ll get Charlie to look at it. How have I not noticed it before? Maybe there’s a bigger problem than the mold up on the ceiling.