Let It Be Me

by Toni Aleo

  I instantly freeze.

  “Violet? What’s wrong?”

  I don’t move and watch as Rob slowly shakes his head before speeding out of the parking lot and onto the main road. Oh god. How long had he been sitting there? Why was he here? Oh, my God.

  Quickly I grab my things and reach for the door handle but Tucker stops me. “Was that Rob?”

  “Yes,” I say, scrambling out the car and rushing to my SUV but Tucker stops me again.

  “Whoa, whoa, no way. You can’t go home,” he says.

  I pull my arm out of his hand as I say, “I have to, or he will know something is going on. I have to act as if it isn’t a big deal. That we went out to dinner with the office or something. Fuck.”

  I’m shaking and my heart is thrashing wildly in my chest while I feel like I’m going to puke. What am I going to do? Why was he here? Maybe I shouldn’t go home but then I know he’ll come after Tucker because I was with him last. When Tucker’s arms go around me, I close my eyes tight and lean into him as the tears start to slowly fall down my face.

  “Come home with me. I’ll put you on the first plane out, please don’t go there.”

  “I have to, he saw me with you. He’ll know you’re a part of this.”

  “I don’t care, Violet, because I am a part of this and I’m going to do everything I can to help you.”

  I slowly pull away and move my hands along my face, wiping away my tears. I have to act as if everything is fine or he’s never going to let me leave. I have to protect him. He has done so much for me. I have to do everything I can to make sure he’s safe.

  “Everything is going to be fine. We didn’t do anything wrong and I will tell him that. It’s nothing. I’m overreacting,” I say, shaking my head. “It’s no big deal. I promise. I’ll go home and tell him that we all went out to dinner and that I didn’t call him because I thought he would be at work.”

  Tucker eyes me and I know he doesn’t want to let me go but slowly his shoulders fall and he looks away. “You’ll call me if something happens?”

  “Yes, but you can’t do anything if it does.”

  He shakes his head. “Now, Violet-”

  “Tucker, you promised.”

  Letting me go, he threads his fingers through his hair before kicking the side of his tire. Looking back at me with concern and frustration all over his face, he says, “I don’t know if I can stand here and let this happen. I can’t let him hurt you!”

  Slowly taking in a breath, I look away as I say, “I’m sorry, Tucker. You have to let me do this. This is my fight. I don’t want you to have to save me. I want to be able to come into your arms free and clear once this is all over. I want to be the woman you will be proud to have on your arm. The one you will love because I love you with all of me, but I can’t give you all of me yet.”

  “I will love you always,” he proclaims.

  My heart stops and my breath hitch as I look up into this man’s face. “You have to let me do this,” I strain.

  “So what? I’m supposed to watch you get in that car and leave? And just pray you’ll come to work tomorrow?”

  We stand, staring into each other’s eyes for a long time before I whisper, “yes.”

  “This is fucking insane,” he says turning from me and walking to his car. I watch as he yanks his car door open before looking over at me. “I know you don’t want me to save you, Violet, but I don’t know if I can just stand by and hope this all works out. You have my heart and I can’t let something happen to you. It would break me.”

  I pause before asking, “you believe in me right?”

  “Of course.”

  “Then believe that I can handle this.”

  He looks up at the sky and I can tell he is about to lose it. Looking back over at me, pleading with his eyes, he says, “text me so I know you are okay.”

  “I will.”

  “Alright, talk to you soon,” he says before he reluctantly gets in the car. I get into my SUV and I know he’s watching me leave just like he has for the last three weeks. Once on the road, the calmness I exhibited in front of Tucker is gone and I’m shaking with fear. I tried to be confident and reassure Tucker that I would be fine, but I know Rob and I know he is pissed. I still don’t know what he was doing there though. It doesn’t make sense because it is nowhere near the hospital or anything else that would bring him to this side of town. It’s almost as if he was checking up on me and I don’t understand why? He hasn’t spoken to me at all. It’s like he has been ignoring my existence for the last three weeks, so why was he checking in on me? Was he looking for Tucker? Was he going to say something to him about my job? He saw us together and I know it was innocent but Rob won’t see it that way.

  It doesn’t take long for me to get home and soon I’m parking the car behind Rob’s. I get out and make my way up to the porch before entering the house. The first thing I see is Rob at the counter, a beer in his hand and his face twisted in anger. I lay down my purse, hoping like hell that he can’t tell I scared shitless. Because I am. So scared that it takes everything out of me to take steps towards the counter and act as if everything is fine in the world.

  “Why aren’t you at work tonight? I thought you had to work that’s why I didn’t call to invite you to dinner with the office. It was Mrs. Yolanda’s birthday.”

  His eyes are dark. His voice menacing as he says, “I got sent home tonight and I came by the office to pick you up because we needed a new washer but you weren’t there and so I waited and waited until finally you pull up with that asshole,” he says before coming out from behind the counter. His steps are feral as he stalks toward me. “I thought what the hell is she doing with him? I watched as you laughed and giggled and flirted with him until finally I had enough and had to drive away but then you saw me, and I saw your face. And I knew that you knew. You were caught. You’re fucking around on me.”

  He reaches for me, but I move quickly out of the way, batting his hands away, but I can tell that only makes him madder. His eyes narrow before he goes for me again but this time, I go for the door, reaching for my keys as I pull the door open but he is quicker, slamming me face first into the door. I scream out as he turns me around, and I swing the keys, hard into his face. He yells out, smacking the keys out of my hand before holding me by my throat up against the wall. I try to remember the class. Eyes, throat, groin, anything, but all I am doing is thrashing, trying to get away but it only causing him to squeeze my throat harder, until I stop struggling.

  My eyes are clouding with tears as I look up into his threatening eyes. Where I hit him with the keys is a spot and it’s bleeding, maybe even bruising. I want to be proud of myself but then I can’t be because he still has me in his grips. He is still controlling me and I can’t get away.

  “I’m gonna ask you once. Are you fucking him?”

  I quickly shake my head. “No, I promise, I’m not.”

  “I don’t believe you,” he instantly says, squeezing my neck, making me dizzy.

  “I’m not,” I cry as I try to gasp for breath.

  “Maybe I’ll pay him a visit. He’s a fucking pretty boy, I’ll scare him straight and teach him to stay away from what’s mine.”

  “No,” I cry. “Please, nothing is going on. We went to dinner for Mrs. Yolanda’s birthday.”

  “SHUT UP!” he screams. I start to swing my fists, hoping to connect with his face. When I do, he growls at me and then his fist comes slamming into my nose. Lights go off, and I feel dizzy as I reach up to cover my face. I can taste the salty, metallic taste of blood as it runs down the back of my throat and over my mouth. He lets go of my throat and I fall to the floor, where he promptly kicks me in the chest, knocking the wind out of me. He then punches me in the back of the head, screaming that I’m nothing but a whore. I try to kick him away but his kicks are harder and when one connects with the middle of my chest, I gasp before completely stopping and balling up.

  I give up. I’m fucking giving up.

>   “Stop fucking fighting me and just take what is coming! You deserve this! You’re cheating on me!”

  “I am not,” I whisper but I doubt he can hear me because he screams, “You are such a whore! How dare you do this to me?”

  I only shake my head as my tears and blood mingle on my face. “I’m not doing anything, Rob,” I say as I sit up and look up into his face. “Nothing.”

  “How many times do I have to tell you that you are mine?”

  I can’t see through my tears so I close my eyes, resting my head on my knees.

  “You will listen to me. You will do as I say or I will continue to do what I need to do to make you listen.”

  I don’t say anything; I only wait, until finally, he stomps away. I jump when the door slams and when I look up the room is empty. My face is swelling. I can feel it and I fear that my nose is broken. Tears rush down my face as I just sit there, my face throbbing. Why does this keep happening? I tried to deescalate the situation but it didn’t work. It never works. I tried to fight back but it was no use, I wasn’t strong enough. Nothing ever works with this fucking man and I really don’t think I can wait two more weeks to get the hell away. I know I have to though. I have to, because if I don’t get everything I need and make sure

  I can keep him away, I’ll end up right back here.

  And I can’t let that happen.

  “Are you okay?”

  “No,” I answer as I catch the blood from my nose with a cloth. It’s hard to hold the phone and keep blood from getting everywhere but somehow I manage as I take in deep breaths.

  “What happened?” Tucker asks, I can hear it in his voice. He’s freaking out but also trying to hide his anger from me. It isn’t working, though. I take in a shuddering breath as tears sting my eyes. Looking at my reflection, I hate the girl that is there. My eyes are swollen, my nose running with blood and there is a cut along my cheek.

  “I think he broke my nose,” I say before choking on a sob.

  “Violet, please,” he pleads, “I can’t take this anymore. Let me call the cops, let me kicks his ass. No, better yet, let me fucking kill him!”

  I close my eyes. “You can’t.”

  “Yes, I can, it’s very easy. I take him by his shirt and slam my fists into his face. I hate this guy, I hate what he has done to you. Please let me help. Let me get rid of him, let me help you get away. Please.”

  “You promised, Tucker,” I reminded him.

  He pauses for a moment. “Okay, fine. Then please, tell me what I can do, because I’m going crazy here. I’m trying to respect your wishes but, Violet, this is getting out of hand. Either leave him or let me kill him.”

  “I need only two more weeks,” I whisper, “I promise. I’ll leave.”

  “No, leave now or I’m taking matters in my own hands.”

  I open my eyes and a tear slowly rolls down my face. “You said you believed in me.”

  “I do.”

  “Do you really think I want this? Do you think I want to stay? I just need time.”

  “I understand that but hell, I’ll give you the money you need, just leave.”

  “No, I want to do this myself. I got myself in this mess, I have to get myself out. I just need two more weeks.”

  “I don’t know if I can give you that long. I feel like less of a man for letting this happen to you. It’s hurting me. I can’t do it much longer.”

  “I understand that and I’m not asking you to do anything,” I say softly. “You don’t have to stand beside me.”

  “Yes, I do. I love you.”

  Silence comes over the line as my tears continue to roll down my face. “Please leave him,” he begs, “let me pay for it all, let me help you leave.”

  It would be so easy. Just take his money and run but I can’t. I can’t allow him to win. I want to be able to do this on my own. I want to show Rob that I don’t fucking need him. I want to come back her in the near future and show him that I can do it all myself. That I’m a strong, smart, beautiful woman who deserves the world. I can do this. I can.

  “Give me two more weeks.”

  “Violet. I don’t think I can.”

  “Please. Just two more weeks. After that, I promise I’ll leave.”

  “It’s not that I don’t believe you, it’s that I am scared for you,” he says, his voice full of emotion. “What if he hurts you again? What if he kills you? I think it’s best that you just leave without him knowing.”

  “I plan to, in two weeks.”

  “Damn it,” he whispers, almost so quietly I can’t hear him. “I’ll give it to you as long as he keeps his hands off you. The first time he touches you, you have to tell me and I need you to leave. Please, do that for me.”

  I nod even though he can’t see me. I plan to completely stay out of his way. “Yes, I can do that.”

  “Good. Do you want to go into the office? Let me look at your nose?”

  I look at my reflection and know that if I go anywhere near Tucker, he’ll freak. With good reason of course but still, I need to just stay away. At least until the swelling goes down.

  “No, I’m fine.”

  “It would make me feel better.”

  “Or it would piss you off,” I supply.

  “I’m already pissed so just please come in, I’ll meet you there.”

  I’m about to agree when I remember that Rob isn’t working. I look down at the blood soaked rag as my fear grows. I don’t know what will happen when he gets back. That is, if he even comes back, I don’t know, but fuck, I’m scared. “I can’t. Rob might come back.”

  “Bastard,” he says, his voice dripping with acid. “Fine. I’ll check on it tomorrow.”

  “Do you think it’s a good idea that I come to work?”

  “Yes,” he says almost automatically. “I don’t want you there unless you have to be. Show him that you aren’t scared anymore, that he can’t knock you down.”

  I smile at the mere thought of that. I wish I could exhibit that kind of confidence but I’m not sure I can. “I wish.”

  “No wishing needed, you can do it. I know you can. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

  I look back up at myself and even with my bloody nose and swollen face, my smile remains because he is right.

  I can do this.

  “Yeah, I’ll see you tomorrow.”

  I spent the night in the bathroom.

  I know you think that is ridiculous and I couldn’t agree more. When Rob came home, he was drunk and he spent the night drunkenly beating into the door and swearing at me. I don’t know how he didn’t get in but he didn’t, so I spent the night curled up, holding the door closed. When I woke up this morning, he was passed out on the bed so I quickly changed, grabbed my things and left. I’m at the office an hour before I’m supposed to be but I couldn’t risk being around him.

  I had to get away.

  Cleaning up my mess from yesterday, I do little things until finally my door opens and Tucker comes barreling in. He looks tired as if he hadn’t gotten any sleep the night before. His eyes are wide when they set on me and I stand up, my hands out. “It’s not as bad as it looks.”

  It is, but I’m trying to down play it. I can see the rage building in his eyes. I can see his hands start to shake and he looks like he’s about to track Rob down and beat him to within an inch of his life. Now as much as I wouldn’t mind this and would gladly pay to see it happen, it can’t.

  “The hell it isn’t, Jesus, Violet,” he says, coming around my desk before reaching out to softly touch my face. His hands are gentle and slow, tender as he probes my face, feeling along my cheekbones and nose, the light touch of his fingertips giving me gooseflesh. Biting on his lip, he looks up my nose and before saying, “I don’t think it’s broken, I think he got you more on your cheekbone than your nose. I’m not sure though, there is so much swelling. I want to do an x-ray and then I’ll know more.”

  “Okay,” I agree looking up into his beautiful face.

  He softly
cups my face, running his thumbs along my bruises, his eyes clouded with worry and concern. Leaning forward, he rests his forehead to mine before whispering, “I worried about you all night.”

  I close my eyes, our breath mingling as I say, “I’m sorry.”

  Wrapping his arms around me, he holds me close and I let him. I wrap my own arms around his middle, resting my face in the middle of his chest. His lips touch the top of my head and my arms tighten around his waist. When I feel his hands on my face again, I look up, tears gathering in my eyes as he holds my gaze. Leaning down he presses his lips to the spot between my eyes, ever so lightly before pulling back only an inch to look into my tear filled eyes.

  “I never want to let go,” he whispers. “I never want anything else to ever happen to you.”

  Again I want to kiss him. Who am I kidding; I always want to kiss him. His lips were made to be devoured by mine and no matter how fucked up the situation is, I want to get lost in them but before I can, a door slams and slowly we part because that means that our staff is arriving. Looking down at me with his mouth set in a worried line, he says, “Get the x-ray done as soon as possible, please.”

  “I will. Hopefully that’s Andrea.”

  “Yeah, hopefully. I’ll come check on you in a few.”

  “Thanks.”

  “Anytime,” he says before reaching out and running his thumb along my bottom lip.

  A smile curves my lips causing his to do the same before he moves away from me and out of my office. Sitting down at my desk, I call up to the front to find that Andrea, our x-ray tech, isn’t here yet. Laying my phone back down, I sit back in my chair and let out a long breath. My face hurts and I’m just waiting for Rob to call me. I know it will happen and I dread hearing his voice. Reaching for a file that I need to submit, I start to do just that when my cell phone rings. I glance at the time before reaching for it out of my purse. It is too early to be Rob and when I read the display, I find that it is my mom.

  “Hey mom.”

  “Hey, are you okay?”

  I look around the office, confused. Why would she ask that? “Yeah, why?”