3

by Jacob Z. Flores

“Amen!” Heather said, knocking back a shot of tequila. “We need to do this more. I was just telling Pat the other day how much I’ve missed you guys.”

  “Me too,” Chuck said. A Miller Lite rested in his right hand, while his left arm dangled around Don’s neck. “We need to cut loose more. I’m tired of being an adult all the time. We need to get stupid drunk together at least once a month.”

  “I can plan that,” Spencer interjected. His voice quivered with excitement. “I’ll get everyone’s schedules and come up with a good day and time.”

  Everyone laughed, causing Spencer to frown. Spencer’s type A personality and obsessive-compulsive nature in regards to planning had always been an inside joke among them. He was the Martha Stewart of their previous social life, arranging the dates, setting up the meals, assigning the dishes everyone would bring, and even picking out the entertainment for the night.

  “I love you, my Spencey,” Teresa said while giving Spencer a peck on the cheek. “I’ve missed your phone calls making sure I was bringing the salad or the texts counting down the hours till the get-together.”

  Spencer stuck his tongue out at her.

  “Don’t tease my man,” Justin said, puffing out his chest. “I must come to his defense.” He wrapped his arm protectively around Spencer’s waist.

  “And the three of us will take you down!” Jill said, putting her arms around Teresa and Heather. “You know you can’t withstand the power of our breasts!”

  “Good Lord, no!” Justin said, waving his hands in surrender. “Those mammaries of yours are dangerous!”

  “Yes, they are,” Chris said while plunging his face in Jill’s ample bosom. She hollered in response and smacked him on the head.

  “Y’all need to get a room,” Tyler said. “This is a gay club. We don’t tolerate public displays of hetero affection in here.”

  “We’re here, we’re not queer, get used to it!” Chris said before diving in Jill’s cleavage again.

  As they laughed, Justin’s eyes wandered around the room. A shiver traveled up and down his spine. That only happened to him when he was being watched. Somewhere in this room, a pair of unseen eyes was staring at him.

  He surveyed the crowd, looking to see if he could find the eyes that had triggered his spine tingling reaction. All he saw were numerous twinks drinking heavily, fag hags spinning on the dance floor, and pristinely dressed gay guys cruising each other.

  Nothing unusual at all.

  Suddenly, an arm draped around his neck. It was Xavier. He had finally extracted himself from Alex long enough to come and speak to him. Xavier smirked at Justin and held his usual bottle of Dos Equis in his right hand. “It’s been a long time,” he said between sips.

  “Too long,” he replied, giving Xavier a kiss. “I’ve missed you.”

  “Of course you have,” Xavier said with a grin.

  Xavier wasn’t one for sentimentality. Whenever emotions became real, he laughed them off. It kept him safe, but it also left him alone. After all these years, Xavier still hadn’t found a lasting relationship. Although Justin rarely pitied people he considered true friends, his heart broke at Xavier’s looks of longing whenever he saw Spencer and him together.

  “As humble as ever, I see,” he told Xavier.

  “And twice as hot,” Xavier replied, flexing his biceps, which had definitely become more chiseled over the years. Instead of devoting himself to another person, Xavier poured his focus into his body.

  “You do look good.”

  “Thanks,” Xavier said. “You’ve got to fine-tune the product in order to get anyone to buy.”

  “I take it you have some pending orders?”

  “A few,” Xavier replied, looking sideways at Alex. “But that’s old and tired. I try not to repeat myself.”

  “You’re awful,” he told Xavier. “Alex seems to be a nice guy.”

  “I suppose,” Xavier said with a shrug. “But the bitch needs to dump that puka shell necklace.”

  They laughed. It had been too long since he and Xavier spent time together. They used to be best friends, deeply entangled in every aspect of each other’s daily lives. Now, they rarely texted and mostly communicated through Facebook.

  “I have to ask,” Xavier said, a familiar twinkle in his eyes. It was the same look Xavier used to give him before they started their weekly pickup game. “You and Spencer still into three-ways?”

  The question startled him. He wasn’t sure if Xavier was propositioning him to be their third in bed for the evening or if he was trying to restart their old game. “Keep your voice down,” he told Xavier. “Only you and Tyler know that Spencer and I used to play with a third. I don’t think the straights would be able to handle that.”

  Xavier laughed. “They can’t hear us,” he said. “The music is much too loud. Besides, they’re passing around cell phone pics of each other’s children. They aren’t paying attention to us.”

  Justin looked toward the table. Everyone had a cell phone in hand, cooing about how cute everyone else’s children were. Their attentions were diverted, and Ke$ha was currently belting out her latest track over the speakers.

  “So?” Xavier asked. His eyebrows arched upward, his way of signaling Justin to answer his question.

  “No,” he replied. “We don’t do that anymore.”

  “Too bad.”

  “Why?”

  “Because there’s a big bear of a man standing on the other side of the room who can’t seem to take his eyes off you.”

  “I thought I felt someone staring at me,” Justin admitted. He once again inspected the room, searching for his secret admirer. “Where is he?” he asked.

  “God, man,” Xavier complained. He tightened his grip around Justin’s neck, preventing him from looking around. “Have you lost all the moves I taught you? You need to be a bit more discreet than that!”

  “Why do I need to be discreet?” he asked. “It’s not like anything’s going to come of it. I have a man.” He regretted his comment when he noticed the faint sting of pain reflected in Xavier’s eyes. He hadn’t meant to sound cruel. “I just want to see what he looks like. Maybe I can get him for you.”

  Xavier laughed. “Like I need your help.” The pain in his eyes flitted away as quickly as it descended. “I was the undisputed pickup king, as you no doubt remember.”

  “Yes, you were,” Justin told him. “Now, where is he?”

  Xavier sighed. “To the left of the cowboy go-go dancer, standing against the wall of televisions.”

  Justin turned his head slightly. On the wall of televisions, Ke$ha’s “Tik Tok” video played. Underneath the pop star’s smirking face stood Dutch. He held an empty glass, and his eyes simmered with rage.

  The breath caught in Justin’s throat. He hadn’t seen Dutch since he’d broken up with him. He didn’t know what to do or how to act. He felt as if everyone instinctively knew that the two of them had once been an item, had shared a bed in Spencer’s absence.

  “He is one hot hunk of man flesh, isn’t he?” Xavier asked. “He seems quite into you. Too bad you don’t play around anymore.”

  Justin nodded and swallowed, hard. He couldn’t speak. Seeing Dutch brought all the old feelings to the surface. He fought the urge to go to him, to see how he was doing, to once again surrender within his arms.

  When Dutch saw him staring back, he lifted his empty glass in a mock toast. A devious smile lit across his face. For a few seconds, Justin worried Dutch would come over to him, make his presence and their affair known to all.

  Instead, Dutch turned to the twink at his side and enveloped him in his arms. He shoved his tongue inside the young man’s mouth and made a grab for his ass. Even from across the crowded bar, Justin could tell Dutch was putting on a show for him.

  “I guess he wasn’t that in to you after all,” Xavier said with a laugh.

  “Who are you guys talking about?” Spencer asked, suddenly at their side. The familiar emerald fire of love burned in his eyes. Spen
cer appeared truly happy, despite the months of misery they’d recently worked through.

  Justin opened his mouth to respond, but no words came out. He found himself constantly looking over Spencer’s shoulder at Dutch, who was leading his twink to the bar for another drink.

  Xavier noticed Justin’s reaction and came to the rescue. “I was trying to get Justin to play our pickup game again, but he’s not having it.”

  “Good!” Spencer declared. His hand rested on Justin’s shoulder, staking his claim. “Besides, he’s got a sure thing right here.”

  Justin nodded, still unable to speak. He took a long drink of his vodka and Sprite. The liquid burned his throat, sending fiery flames shooting through his body. The blaze of alcohol spurred his voice back to life. “That’s right, love,” he replied at last. “No need to play that game anymore when I’ve already won.”

  Spencer kissed him on the lips. The physical contact made him feel even worse. Spencer’s kiss imparted absolute trust and unwavering love. It told him how devoted Spencer was to their renewed commitment. Their lives hadn’t been easy, but they’d worked diligently to get back to where they once were.

  Justin thought they were there and had been for some time. But seeing Dutch raised his doubts. The connection he felt to Dutch remained. He still felt tethered to a man he hadn’t seen in more than six months, and from the look on Dutch’s face and despite his actions, Dutch still felt it too.

  “You know I love you more than my luggage,” Tyler told Patrick, who moaned. The sound of one of his friends quoting Steel Magnolias got his attention. He turned back to the group, who were all hissing at Tyler.

  “Let’s not start that again!” Patrick said. “I was just finally able to watch that movie again!”

  “Don’t be a Steel Magnolias hater,” Spencer scolded. “It’s a great movie.”

  As his friends launched into yet another Steel Magnolias debate, Justin followed Dutch’s movements. He’d abandoned the twink he kissed earlier in favor of a different one. This one had dark skin and looked no more than nineteen. Dutch bought the boy a drink and practically molested him at the bar.

  Justin finished his beverage. The sight of Dutch shamelessly throwing himself around like a common piece of bar trash unnerved him. Dutch was better than that.

  “Another round?” Chris asked, to which everyone agreed.

  “I’ll get this one,” Justin offered. Everyone thanked him but being generous wasn’t his motive. Buying the next round of drinks would take him to the bar and put him in closer proximity to Dutch.

  “Want some help, sweetie?” Spencer asked, rising from the table.

  Before Justin could reply, Xavier responded. “I’ll help him.” He downed the rest of his Dos Equis in one gulp. “You stay here and help decide who’d win in a fight between Ouiser and Clairee,” he told Spencer.

  Spencer nodded and sat back down, completely unaware of Justin’s distracted state.

  Within moments, Justin stood in line at the bar, a few feet away from Dutch, who was now hitting on the nineteen-year-old twink’s friend. He leaned over the even younger boy, stroking his cheek. The twink, obviously new to such aggressive flirtation, blushed and laughed nervously.

  “All right,” Xavier said, standing at Justin’s side. “Tell me what the hell’s going on.”

  Justin looked at Xavier as if he hadn’t seen him in years. “What are you talking about?”

  “Spencer may be blind to what’s going on, but I’m a pro at this,” Xavier reminded him. “There’s something going on between you and that muscle bear. Now what is it?”

  “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Justin replied, looking straight ahead instead of at Dutch. He hated that Xavier knew all about cheating glances since Xavier was a consummate cheater.

  “Lies don’t work on me, honey,” Xavier said. “Besides, you know me better than that. Truth is the truth. I don’t judge.”

  “There’s nothing going on,” Justin lied. There was no way he was admitting to his affair with Dutch tonight or any other night. That secret was going with him to his grave. “I just got distracted, is all. He’s pretty hot, and I wanted to get a better look.”

  Xavier stared at him, unable to decide if Justin spoke the truth or not. Finally, the suspicion in his eyes vanished when Xavier took note of the guy standing beside him. Always distracted by the chance to hook up, Xavier discarded his previous concerns for the sake of the hunt.

  Justin walked up to the bar and placed his drink order. While he waited, he watched as Dutch made out with both twinks just a few feet away from him. Their tongues rolled around in each other’s mouths for all to see. He found the sight distasteful and unworthy of Dutch.

  Dutch opened his eyes and stared at him. He switched from one young hungry mouth to the next as if he were a father bird feeding his young hatchlings. As he swapped spit with his two twinks, he never once looked away from Justin.

  His eyes beamed with satisfaction, as if he were the winner at some game Justin didn’t realize they had been playing.

  The bartender placed his ordered drinks in front of him, and Justin paid the amount due. He coerced Xavier away from his potential trick so the two of them could carry their drinks back to the table.

  When they returned with the drinks, they were greeted as heroes. Each grabbed their drink and set to the task of draining their glasses dry. In their absence, the debate had been decided: Ouiser was declared the winner by a landslide.

  “I’ll be right back,” Justin whispered in Spencer’s ear. “Must pee.”

  “You know how small your bladder is,” Spencer reminded him. “Once you start, you won’t be able to stop.”

  “I know, but I gotta go.”

  “Hurry back,” Spencer urged before giving Justin a kiss.

  As Justin departed the table, only Xavier eyed him suspiciously. Justin didn’t care. He would deal with Xavier’s questions later. Right now, he had to talk to Dutch. He had to make him see how stupidly he was acting. He wasn’t some college kid on the prowl. He was a forty-year-old man, who needed to possess more decorum than he was currently displaying. After all, he worked at St. Mary’s. What if one of his students was here?

  He followed Dutch and his new twink out of the main bar and into the hallway entrance. The two of them stumbled down the hall together, groping each other’s crotches. They turned down the small hallway to the left that led to the men’s restrooms.

  Justin was relieved. It made him feel like less of a liar.

  When he entered the restroom, he saw Dutch close the door behind him in the stall. From underneath, he could see two pairs of feet and the unmistakable sound of a cock being slurped.

  He couldn’t believe Dutch was getting a blowjob in a public restroom. What had happened to the man he once knew?

  Before he could think, Justin pounded on the stall door.

  “Occupied,” Dutch said, his voice overfull with pleasure. He remembered how much Dutch enjoyed the feel of a wet mouth around his hard cock.

  Justin continued to knock on the door, more determined than ever to get one of them to open it. Finally, the twink opened the door, pissed off. “What the fuck, man?” he asked. “We’re a little busy in here.”

  Without a word, he grabbed the twink by his gray skintight shirt and yanked him out of the stall. The boy shrieked in protest. Justin entered the stall and locked the door behind him.

  “What do you want?” Dutch asked, tucking his still hard cock into his underwear. He leaned against the wall, looking down at Justin in complete disdain.

  “I’m trying to save you from yourself,” Justin responded. “Do you realize what a complete fool you’re making of yourself out there?”

  Dutch snickered. “What the hell makes you think I care what you or any of these queens think?” He zipped up his fly and adjusted himself. “I’m single, and I’m here to party.”

  He tried to walk around Justin, but Justin blocked his path. “Is that why you’re making
a complete ass of yourself? Have you even considered the fact that one or more of your students might be here?”

  Dutch crossed his arms, his typical angry stance. His biceps bulged underneath his tight black Armani shirt. “Look, I don’t want to have to move you out of my way, so don’t force me,” he warned. “You know exactly how strong I am.”

  “I’m not afraid of you,” Justin replied. His eyes never wavered. Dutch would never hurt him. Of that, he was certain. “I’m trying to help.”

  “I don’t want your help,” Dutch announced. “I don’t want anything from you.”

  Dutch’s words stung. This wasn’t the man he fell in love with. This was a completely different man. The Dutch he knew possessed a heart much bigger and stronger than the body that housed it. This Dutch looked cruel and spoke harshly. He didn’t care about the love they’d once shared. In fact, he seemed perfectly content with destroying all traces of that previous bond.

  “Why are you acting this way?” he asked Dutch.

  “Are you kidding me?” Dutch asked. “You left me for Spencer. Did you expect me to give you a fucking hug when we saw each other again?”

  “No,” Justin replied. “But I don’t think I deserve this.”

  “Well, here’s a newsflash. I don’t give a flying fuck what you think you deserve. When you walked out my door, you left the Dutch who loved you behind. Now, you’ve got the new Dutch. The one who doesn’t care about anything. Least of all you.”

  “This new Dutch is an asshole,” Justin stated.

  “That would bother the old Dutch,” he said, inching closer to Justin until their faces were only a few centimeters apart. In the air between them, he caught a whiff of Dutch’s natural body odor that always hung about him and that still turned him on. “The new Dutch couldn’t care less.”

  Justin stared into his cold blue eyes. Their crystal blue hue had always been inviting, like the warm, tropical waters of the Caribbean. The warmth was now gone, replaced by the frigid waters of the Arctic.

  But as he looked deeply into the numbing cold stare, Justin could see the old Dutch, clinging onto an ice floe and hanging on for dear life. He struggled to pull himself from the frozen waters, but the angry current prevented any progress from being made.