Lost in Silence (The Lost Series Book 1)

by Douglas, Tracie

  I shake my head. No, we will stay.

  I don’t know where the courage comes from but I step towards her. Yes, I’m scared out of my mind and I’m not sure what I was exactly it is I’m agreeing to but I had to trust they wouldn’t put me in a bad spot. I need to learn to trust them, so I decided to push away any fear I felt and trudge on. Missy looks at her brother with an apologetic smile but he glares down at her. I cringe. I don’t want him to be mad at her. She did the right thing. I’m the one with the problem.

  He steps toward me but I put a hand up stopping him. He clasps my hand loosely, his eyes searching mine. “You don’t have to do this. They’ll understand.”

  His words were all I needed to hear to know I could get through this. I knew these men would be good to me and it helped knowing I would have Hudson’s unconditional support if I decide it’s too much and need to bail. But I need to do this. I need to overcome my fears.

  Stepping past him, I move into the house.

  *****

  Hudson

  Missy was only thinking with her heart and for that, I can’t stay angry at her. She invited my brothers to dinner, the men who know me best. The men who I know will take one look at the woman by my side and protect her until their last breath. Even Kingston, although I know I’ll hear shit about the situation because she’s a distraction, one I can’t afford this late in my assignment. He’ll ride my ass because he’s my boss but also because it’s what he does.

  When we walk into the house I expect to be bombarded with greetings. Instead, my brothers are standing on the other side of the room, plenty of distance between us and them. Concern etched into their faces and knowledge in their eyes. My sister told them about Alice.

  “Alice,” I grab her hand and pull her close. She’s tense. Her eyes are on the large men in the room. A flash of fear crosses her face but it disappears quickly. She recognizes some of their faces from the photo. “This is my team, well some of them.”

  She looks at me gives me a small smile. No trace of fear or discomfort showing on her face. Curiosity and respect shines through her eyes. It was the same look she had on her face when she first saw the group photo on my mantle. Alice steps towards the guys, eagerly now. I follow behind and begin introductions. They meet us halfway, careful to maintain a respectable distance. Even though we are missing a few faces for various reasons, I’m grateful to have them here with us and strangely proud to have her meet them.

  “This guy here is Damien Reynolds but we call him Dizzy,” I introduce the closest to us. He takes a step forward and Alice sticks her hand out. Missy gasps. I watch dumbfounded. This is unexpected.

  “Very nice to meet you Alice,” Dizzy takes her hand carefully, his smile big. He lets Alice control the contact. It was brief but only because she is onto the next. Sidestepping Dizzy, she moves closer to the guys.

  “This is Austin Miller, we call him Marley,” she takes his hand too, an even bigger smile on her face now. For a moment, my gut clenches, as jealousy consumes me. The smile she gives Marley makes me want to punch him square in the jaw. Alice drops his hand just as quickly as she did with Dizzy and moves on, even more eager. I push aside the green monster boiling inside of me to keep up with her.

  “This is Jerrod Rios or as we like to call him, Zero,” I glare at him. Fuck, Zero was the pretty boy of the group. His nickname represents the number of women who turn him down. Zero meets my eyes, reading the warning and quickly looks away. She shakes his hand tightly and I swear she would have yanked his arm out of the socket if he hadn’t been a rock of a man.

  I look up to see Bear standing in front of us next. His eyes meet mine and I tense, nervous to see his reaction of her. Bear hasn’t been the same since our last mission. Hell, none of us have been but it was different for Bear. I know he isn’t a threat to anyone here but his cold demeanor can be off putting, especially to someone like Alice. She steps toward him, nothing cautious about her behavior. He sticks his hand out to greet her but his blank face makes her stops.

  “Alice, this is Bear,” I say softly but she isn’t paying attention to me anymore. Her vibrant smile fades as she stares up at Bear. A few moments pass before she abruptly steps into him. Worried she might reach out and wrap her arms around him, I brace myself, ready to protect her if necessary. She doesn’t. She lifts her hand and gently places it on Bear’s face, she stills. Bear tenses under her touch but he makes no move to disconnect her. Their eyes rest on each other. Piercing one another.

  The air in the room grows heavy with each passing second but their bodies are immune to it. Already in a position to protect her, I can do nothing but wait while the others stand wide eyed watching the pair. They’re in as much disbelief as I am. Bear drops his head and closes his eyes, leaning into her touch. He takes a deep shuddering breath, as she runs her thumb across his cheek.

  A moment more before she drops her hand and steps back, a single tear falls down her face. Bear swiftly turns and walks out of the room. He exits the house through the kitchen and the sound of an engine roaring to life is all we hear before he drives away. Bear is gone.

  Before any of us can react, Alice has wiped away her tear and is now standing in front of King with a new smile on her face. King returns her smile and thrusts his hand out to her.

  “Kingston Cole,” he introduces himself before my brain and mouth connect. Leave it to King to recover faster than the rest of us. “The guys call me King.”

  I release a nervous laugh, tucking her to my side once again. This night was a surprise for both of us and she handled it better than I imagined she would. She placed herself outside her comfort zone tonight. She stood in front of some of the toughest and most dangerous men I know, bringing the biggest one to a stillness I hadn’t see since before the accident and she did it all with a smile. Maybe she could come out the other side of what she’s gone through with only the scars to prove it happened after all. Tonight gave me hope for her.

  “Thank you for meeting us,” King’s voice pulls me out of my thoughts and back into the moment. Alice was beaming and truthfully, so was I.

  *****

  Alice

  When I first walked into the room and saw the group of huge men standing in wait I’m not going to lie, I wanted to run, to panic and to get the hell out of there as fast as I could. I would have too but Hudson reached over, grabbed my hand and pulled me towards him. I felt safe with him near, and really what did I have to fear of the men before me? I recognized the big brawny, intimidating lot standing across from me after a few moments. Even before he told me they were members of Hudson’s team. Their faces were older versions of the ones staring back at me earlier from the photo on his mantel.

  I could tell Hudson was happy to see them but I also saw the caution in his eyes. The caution wasn’t for me, it was for them. He was warning them. My heart clenched, not used to being protected like this. I didn’t need him to worry about me. I wanted to be there. I wanted to meet these men. Yes, I was nervous but as they approached me, cautiously, something came over me and I embraced it.

  Meeting them, one by one, helped whatever nerves I hadn’t been able to calm myself. And if I’m honest, I was in awe of each man as he stood before me. Their strength and honor shined bright and it helped they were easy on the eyes. It was like someone made a batch of hot guy cookies using a quarter cup of disturbingly sexy, a pinch of ‘is this real’ and a handful of ‘I need to change my panties’. Combined it all together and baked it at the hottest temperature possible. Still none of them affected me the way Hudson did.

  The biggest of the group did something to me and not because he was devastatingly handsome, which he was. Looking at him, face to face, something about him felt kindred. I saw it in his eyes, an emotion he barely bothered to mask. It was something he carried everywhere with him. A punishment of sorts. Something I recognized easily because I too carried something like it with me. Bear, is what Hudson called him, didn’t feel worthy of this world and it broke my heart beca
use I knew the self loathing he experienced.

  I knew there were no words to comfort him and even if I could’ve given them to him, it wouldn’t have helped. Instead, I gave him what I could in the silence we shared. I let him see everything I’ve kept hidden, hoping he’ll see he wasn’t alone. I expected him to pull away from my touch but he didn’t. He let me in, he let me see the darkness swirling around him. It was strong and I knew it had something to do with his service and the men standing around him. They were all affected by it in some way, but Bear, his wound ran much deeper. And because of who I am, I took it and he walked away knowing he wasn’t alone anymore.

  After I pulled away from him, I knew he had given too much of himself. He turned and walked away out of fear. He’s kept his distance from everyone for a long time, I’m pretty sure not even his brother’s standing beside him knows exactly what he’s going through. He left because the dam he built was cracking.

  The urge to run after him was strong but there was nothing more I could do for him until he was ready to face it. Stepping towards the last man in the group, I smiled knowing he’s the one Hudson’s been the most worried about. The light in his eyes told me it was all for nothing.

  Dinner was exceptional and the rest of the night went off without a hitch. Missy’s a fabulous cook and very loved by the men at her table. She mothered them all, except Kingston. I could tell something was different between the two of them. They barely glanced each other’s way and no one else seemed to notice.

  I tuned out of the active conversation long ago. Losing myself in my thoughts, I’m interrupted from them when Hudson softly touches my arm.

  “Alice, are you all right?” he asks.

  Huh? I look up at him wide eyed, struggling to remember anything anyone said in the last thirty seconds. I had nothing.

  “Dizzy asked if you had any family we could contact for you,” his voice is cautious. My gaze shifts to Dizzy who is carefully watching me.

  Family.

  I did have family but I don’t give them much thought. I knew Erik would have someone watching them in case I did decide to go home. It wasn’t an option for me, not with Erik still out there hunting. I had to keep them safe from him. Besides I wasn’t sure how happy they would be hearing from me anyways.

  But now, at the dinner table, a dozen eyes rest on me waiting for my response and I don’t know how to answer. Shrugging, I shift in my seat, keeping my gaze on the delicious chocolate cake I no longer had an appetite for. I don’t respond any further. Thankfully they don’t ask any more questions and the subject is dropped with Missy offering more cake to the table.

  Chapter 9

  Hudson

  I wake with an afghan tucked snug around me, a pillow under my head and my boots sitting neatly beside my chair. It’s dark still and glancing on the clock, it’s sometime early morning. Hoping Alice found everything she needed before bed, I shake my head. I don’t remember falling asleep but the exhaustion I’ve fought the last few days must’ve finally caught up to me when we got home from dinner.

  My cell phone chimes from somewhere in the kitchen. I cringe, hoping the noise doesn’t wake Alice. I stand up from my chair, stretch the dull ache that has settled into my lower back and walk into the kitchen. The room is spotless, our cups from this morning sat on the drying rack near the sink.

  I pick up my phone and smile at her thoughtfulness. She set my phone onto its charger. A flurry of text messages blink at me. Most are from the guys welcoming me home, offering to help Alice anyway they can and the usual banter. The guys who couldn’t attend the dinner tonight were mostly on assignment or just incommunicado.

  Kingston’s message would be the only message not welcoming me home. I didn’t need to open it to know what it would say. It was a summons.

  KC: Hudson, my office, noon. Shit to discuss.

  I rub my eyes, releasing a frustrated sigh knowing this might not go well, praying it did. I respond. The sooner I lay it on King the better. Once he knows what’s she’s running from and why I stepped in, he might throw in his support too. Meanwhile, I need to figure something for her to do while I’m at the office. I don’t want to leave her alone. Picking up my phone and I send another text.

  HR: Missy, do your little brother a favor...our girl needs more

  clothes. I hate shopping.

  She responds almost instantly. Sometimes I forget how much of a morning person she is.

  MR: You hate shopping? I would’ve never guessed.

  My sister is a smart ass. I chuckle.

  HR: I’ll make sure to send you an email with all my dislikes. The

  first being the meeting I have to sit through with King this

  afternoon.

  Again she responds instantly.

  MR: You knew it was coming. He’s worried. We all are.

  They’re worried because I haven’t told anyone besides Sneak and Missy about Alice and the situation we dealt with in LA. I wasn’t sure what Sneak told King, likely only pieces of the story, leaving him to guess the rest.

  HR: Nothing to worry about. See for yourself…if you can hang with

  her.

  MR: Anything I should know before agreeing?

  HR: Let her take the lead.

  MR: She talking yet?

  HR: No and I would appreciate if you didn’t pressure her. Things

  are...delicate.

  MR: Understood. What time do you have to meet Kingston?

  HR: Noon but I want to go in early and see Sneak.

  MR: I’ll be by around ten. You think she’ll be up by then?

  I don’t have an answer for that question. Our sleeping patterns have been sort of sporadic. I wasn’t sure what Alice’s schedule is when there isn’t a job to get to. I know I can make sure she is up by the time Missy comes by, if it comes down to it. I can’t help wondering what she’s like first thing in the morning, after spending the night in a real bed.

  A noise behind me startles me and I turn to see Alice walking into the kitchen, pulling the belt on her new robe tightly around her. She has a cautious look in her eyes and god-awful morning hair.

  “Good morning,” I swallow, my voice vibrates a deep sleepy baritone. She nods and offers me a half smile. “Give me a moment and I will get the coffee going.”

  She crosses the room to the coffee pot and hits the button. She already set it up before going to bed, I smile.

  HR: She just woke up. I’ll make sure she’s ready for you by ten. See

  you then and thanks.

  Shooting the final text off to Missy, I set my phone down onto the counter. I watch Alice as she picks up our mugs from the rack and crosses to the refrigerator in search of the vanilla flavored creamer. She’s cute in the morning with her hair wild and her eyes still droopy from sleep.

  “Did you sleep well?” I ask and she nods. I shift more aware of how much I’m alright with her standing in my kitchen like she’s done it for years and she belongs there. “Thank you for prepping the coffee.”

  She nods again, turning back to the coffee maker. I want to say more, apologize for falling asleep on her last night but the words fail me. She tucked me in with a blanket, she straightened up the kitchen, she placed my phone on the charger and now she stood in the middle of my kitchen looking all kinds of cute, making me aware of the fear settling in my stomach. Fear that I might be getting too comfortable with her here. Fear that I’m going to miss her more than I’m willing to admit when she finally does go.

  “I need to go into the office today,” I clear my throat and cross the room to sit down at the breakfast bar. “I asked Missy to come by and take you shopping while I am gone. Is that alright with you?”

  Her brown eyes meet mine and I freeze. I notice how much the dark rings around her eyes have faded. How much her coloring has improved and what a few days of good food and sleep has already done for her. She looked more and more like the girl in the picture Detective Edwards showed me. She smiles at me and nods.

  “I do
n’t know what time I’ll be back but I’m leaving a little early to meet up with Sneak. I should be back before dinner, maybe we can get some takeout. There are a few menus in the drawer. You can have Missy order something for us. She knows what I like to eat.”

  She shrugs, making it difficult for me to gauge her thinking.

  “She’ll be here around ten and I’m not leaving until she gets here,” she busies herself pouring the finished coffee into the mugs. She hands me one and smiles again. My breath hitches. Fuck, her smile lights up the room. I take the mug from her and take a slow sip, the hot liquid burning my tongue as punishment for staring so hard.

  She mixes some creamer into hers and takes a sip.

  “I’m going to hop in the shower,” she makes no move to stop me. I take my mug with me and head to the bathroom, briefly contemplating a cold shower.

  Damn it Hudson, you shouldn’t notice things like her smile.

  *****

  Hudson

  I walk into the modern office on a mission: talk to Sneak, straighten out this shit with King and head home. I need to gather as much information about Erik as I can before showing my cards to King. After meeting Alice last night, I don’t know what to expect from him.

  “He’s not in today,” Annabelle, King’s receptionist, watches me from her spot at neat desk centered in the middle of the room. She’s isn’t simply a receptionist to the company, more like job-site mother. She cared for each of us more than her job required. She was also someone you did not want to fuck with. Her quiet, sometimes murderous stares were the only warnings you needed. Hanging my head, I approach her with a shy smile.