February Or Forever

by Juliet Madison

  ‘Oops.’ Sarah sunk into her chair. ‘All the locals know I’m his sister but I try not to let the cat out of the bag too early with new friends.’ She raised her palms up in an ‘oh well, too late’ gesture.

  ‘Wow, he’s really your brother?’

  ‘The one and only.’

  ‘Sorry, it’s just such a coincidence, because…’ Oh, she wasn’t supposed to say anything to anyone. But she was his sister, surely she knew he was staying here? But what if she didn’t and there was some kind of family feud going on, and by letting her know she was working with Drew she put her foot in it and made things worse?

  ‘Because what?’ Sarah asked.

  ‘Oh nothing, it’s just…’ Surely Drew would have chosen to go somewhere else than Tarrin’s Bay if he didn’t want to see his family? No, they must know. They had to know. ‘I know him.’

  ‘You know him?’ Sarah’s eyes bulged.

  ‘I met him only recently.’

  ‘Recently…as in this month?’

  ‘Maybe.’ Chrissie narrowed her eyes to suss out the situation. She wouldn’t be breaking her contract by revealing what someone already knew.

  Realisation dawned in Sarah’s face and she leaned back in the chair. ‘You don’t work at Serendipity do you?’

  Relief flooded Chrissie’s bloodstream. ‘Yes, I do!’ She made a show of wiping her brow. ‘I didn’t want to risk it getting out in case you weren’t aware he was here, I’m under strict instructions to keep things quiet.’

  ‘So I hear, yes. Poor bro, not being able to walk down the street without being mobbed. So what do you do at the retreat?’

  ‘I’m a yoga instructor.’

  ‘Are you his instructor?’

  Chrissie nodded and smiled.

  ‘He told me he was having private lessons, I had no idea it was you!’ She shook her head. ‘Small world.’

  ‘It sure is.’ Chrissie couldn’t believe it. A week ago she didn’t know these people, and now she was getting up close and personal with not only her favourite celebrity but his sister too? So much for this being a sleepy small town.

  ‘No surprise you’re involved with something physical, I was going to ask you how you keep your figure looking so good. I’m totally jealous.’ She winked.

  ‘Oh, stop it. I still have some lovely stretch marks courtesy of my son.’

  ‘Aren’t they the worst?’ Sarah scrunched her face up, and Chrissie smiled at the bond developing with this down to earth woman.

  ‘They are indeed. And nothing — nothing — gets rid of them, even those organic oils I’ve been told work wonders. Nup. Stuck with the damn things.’ Chrissie said, and Sarah laughed.

  ‘Well if I knew you and my brother were pals I would have asked you over for dinner. He’s coming over tonight.’

  Chrissie gulped.

  ‘Would you like to stay? We’re a friendly bunch, I’m sure he wouldn’t mind, he mentioned how great his yoga teacher was.’

  He did?

  Dinner with Drew Williams? The thought was exhilarating and terrifying at the same time. Yoga was one thing, having conversation over a home-cooked meal was another.

  ‘Oh, no, I don’t want to intrude. He’s probably looking forward to catching up with you. I’ll leave you to have some family time.’

  ‘You sure?’

  Definitely. Absolutely. This would be too much excitement for one day. ‘Yes, you enjoy the night with your brother. Kai’s probably tired anyway, I’ll try to get him to bed early so we can start the sorting at the break of dawn.’

  That’s if she’d be able to sleep tonight. This detour in her life was turning into movie-worthy material, and even though it made her nervous, she couldn’t wait to see what the next scene had in store.

  Chapter 11

  The sun glowed orange as it hung low behind the hills, outlining them in a long curved line, much like a heartbeat on an ECG. Drew could almost feel the beat of the landscape itself, the low, earthy hum he sensed as his eyes absorbed his surroundings. Nature had its own song. It wasn’t audible, just a feeling, a knowing, and it inspired him. No place like home, he thought, remembering Dorothy’s line from The Wizard of Oz.

  He lifted off the seat of the bike as he pedalled uphill, blood pulsing through his veins and muscles heating up. Serendipity had provided use of these wheels, and he revelled in the freedom to move and get where he wanted to go without having to hire a cab or limo, and to zip through the streets in town without anyone recognising him. After cycling up into the hills, he stopped for a moment and took a swig of water, then adjusted his cap and sunglasses, gazing over the huge expanse of ocean. The water too, had its own rhythm, a constant ebb and flow of energy, pulsing in and out, under and over, and he could never tire of watching the waves roll in to shore.

  He hopped back on the bike and turned around, waiting for a lull in the highway traffic to cross to the other side, conscious of needing to keep moving to avoid being noticed. It wasn’t far to get from Serendipity to Sarah’s house, but he’d wanted some time to just ride and feel free, get the wind in his face and be out in the open. He rode into town and swerved into the cul-de-sac where his sister lived, excitement at seeing his niece and nephew bubbling away inside.

  He leaned the bike against the porch and stepped onto the welcome mat, tapping the door with his fist.

  ‘He’s here!’ Sam called from inside, followed by quick, muffled footsteps. ‘I’ll open it!’

  The door opened and Drew glanced down at his nephew. ‘Oh I’m sorry, I’m looking for Sam, but you’re much older and bigger. Maybe I’ve got the wrong house.’ He made a show of turning away.

  ‘No, silly! It’s me, I’m Sam!’

  ‘Get outta here! Really?’ Drew bent down and grasped him by the shoulders. ‘You’re practically a man now.’ He pulled his nephew in for a rough-and-tumble hug with lots of wriggling and back-patting.

  ‘I’m six and a half.’

  ‘So I hear.’ He stood. ‘Great to see you, buddy. Where are your parents and sister?’ Sam yanked him inside and Sarah walked in from out the back.

  ‘Hey, stranger, welcome to our humble abode!’ She kissed his cheek and wrapped him in a hug.

  ‘Good to see you.’ He pulled back and noticed the pink glow of her skin. ‘You’re looking well.’

  ‘Thanks, not looking too bad yourself.’ She ran her hand across his head, sending little tingles across his scalp. ‘Where did all your hair go?’

  ‘I decided to go for easy maintenance,’ he said. ‘Plus, if I start going bald it’ll be less noticeable.’ He winked.

  ‘Gemma, look who’s here!’ Sarah called out, and a few moments later the bathroom door down the hall opened and his niece emerged, her hair all wavy and styled, eyes lined with black, lips a glossy fuchsia. How could she have grown that much since the last time he’d seen her? She looked about twenty-five.

  ‘Drew!’ She ran into his arms. ‘I can’t believe you’re here! You look so cool, how’s L.A.? Are you ready for your tour? I wish I could go back with you!’

  ‘Hey, hey, one question at a time.’ He kissed her cheek. ‘Don’t forget to breathe.’ His mouth turned up into a smile, remembering those exact words he’d written as part of a new song he’d been working on. Who would have thought that emptying one’s mind during meditation could actually fill one’s mind with great ideas? Or maybe Chrissie was his muse. He should take time off more often.

  ‘Let your uncle settle in a bit, I’m sure he doesn’t need you acting like a journalist after what he’s been through.’

  ‘Sorry, I’m just so excited. I can’t wait to show you my new songs. You’re still coming back over tomorrow to help me out, right?’

  ‘Of course, wouldn’t miss it. Might even show you a bit of some new stuff I’ve been working on myself.’

  ‘Really? Awesome!’

  ‘Uncle Drew, look what I got today.’ Sam covered a whistle with his lips and blew, his cheeks becoming round, like a puffer fish.


  ‘Oh, Sam!’ Sarah covered her ears. ‘That’s a bit of a loud way to welcome our visitor.’

  Drew laughed. He’d missed this family chaos. ‘It’s nothing, my ears have been immune to loud noises for years now. Where’d you get that?’

  ‘The country fair. I also rode a pony, and went on the huge slide, and ate a toffee apple, and — ’

  ‘Sam, there’ll be plenty of time over dinner for filling Uncle Drew in about your day.’ She turned to Drew. ‘Come on outside, can I get you a beer?’

  ‘No beer for me, thanks, taking a break from alcohol for a while. Anything else you’ve got is fine.’ Drew walked through the living room, Sam hanging at his side, and stepped outside to the patio.

  ‘Hey mate, how’s it goin’?’ Sarah’s husband, Liam, said, stretching out his hand and when Drew shook it, giving him a man-slap on the back.

  ‘Good, yourself? How’s business?’

  ‘Busy as always, but great.’

  ‘I see you’ve put on a new deck.’ Drew gestured to the raised area a few steps above the patio.

  ‘Yeah, took me long enough. Have to fit in our own home improvements around my schedule.’

  ‘Well it looks great, I think Sam likes it.’ The boy was on the deck, playing air guitar and making guitar noises with his voice. Another musician in the family?

  Sarah handed Drew a mineral water and he took a welcome sip, bubbles fizzing down his throat.

  ‘What do you think, too much?’ Gemma came outside and held out her arm, multiple silver bangles jingling around it.

  ‘It might be’, ‘No, I like it’, Sarah and Drew said at the same time. Oops. He should know to always get the mother’s permission before giving his opinion on something relating to fashion.

  He bit his bottom lip and glanced at his sister who shook her head and mumbled, ‘Men.’

  ‘So should I wear them or what?’ Gemma asked.

  ‘Whatever your mum thinks, Gem.’ Drew held up his hands in defeat. ‘Probably best as a female decision.’

  ‘Okay, wear them. They do match your earrings, I guess.’ Sarah said.

  Gemma nodded a smile. ‘Cool. Just wanted to make sure.’ She glanced at Drew. ‘Sorry I won’t be hanging around, I wanted to take the opportunity while I had it.’

  ‘No worries, I’ll see you tomorrow. You go and enjoy your gig with your dad.’

  ‘Thanks, it’s gonna be awesome. The last one we did someone even stood and clapped, I couldn’t believe it.’ The girl was beaming. He knew that feeling of performance euphoria all too well. The moment he realised he’d won Search for a Star at age nineteen was the most incredible moment of his life, one he’d shared with a huge percentage of Australian television viewers. Not much had been private since then; he’d grown used to living life in the spotlight, but he’d also grown tired of it. Not tired of doing what he loved — writing songs, making albums, and performing — but the judgement and lack of privacy that came along with that.

  ‘It’s only the beginning for you. I’m sure tonight will be just as great.’ He tapped her on the arm.

  ‘I’ll get my guitar,’ she said, walking back inside.

  ‘Drew,’ Sarah said, sidling up close. ‘I was hoping tomorrow you could have a bit of a talk with her, you know, tell her it’s not all fun and parties? She’s got it in her head that she’s moving to the city as soon as she’s eighteen, but I don’t think she’s ready. She’s got stars in her eyes. She needs to know what it’s really like, from an insider.’ Sarah’s face relayed concern.

  ‘Sure, I’ll talk to her. But I don’t think I should flat out tell her to hold off, otherwise she’ll rebel. I remember what it was like at her age, having musical skills and feeling like you have the world at your feet. It’s pretty empowering. I don’t want to dampen her enthusiasm.’

  ‘I know, but just sort of give her an idea that it’s hard work and that not everyone is as nice off stage as they are on stage.’

  ‘I’ll be honest, sure, but I think it’s good that she wants to go for her dreams. Look what it did for me, for our whole family. We’ve never had to worry about finances.’

  ‘I know, I know, and I’m so grateful for everything you’ve shared with us. I just…’ She hung her head and clamped her lips together, and Drew suddenly realised what this was about. His baby sister was losing her baby. She’d only known motherhood, and from a very young age, and now everything was changing. If Gemma left, it would be like a part of her had gone too. She’d practically grown up alongside her daughter, became an adult while becoming a mother. Mostly on her own in the beginning too. She didn’t know how to be anything else now. Sure, she had Sam, but Drew imagined it must be different, that mother-daughter bond, plus the fact that Gemma was her first born.

  ‘You want her to stay a child a little bit longer, right?’ He rubbed her arm.

  Sarah looked up, red rims framing her eyes. She nodded. ‘All of a sudden she’s a young woman. I don’t know how to deal with that. When I was her age I was pregnant.’

  ‘It’s a bit of a culture shock, eh? You’ll handle it fine, just like you have all these years. You’re the strongest woman I know.’ Well, apart from the woman who encouraged his body to form strange shapes and postures every weekday this month, but that was a different kind of strength.

  Sarah flicked his compliment away. ‘Oh, I just did what had to be done. Took it one day at a time.’

  ‘Exactly, and you’ll do the same now. Your daughter has a talent, a talent that should be used. Sure, encourage her to take her time while she’s young, but as soon as you try to force her to hold back, she’ll do the opposite, you know that.’

  ‘Yeah, I know. Mum was so strict with me not going to parties until I turned eighteen, and the one night I snuck out…well, we all know what happened after that!’ She laughed. ‘And here I am now.’ She held out her arms. ‘Life certainly goes in unexpected directions sometimes.’

  ‘Tell me about it.’ Drew hugged an arm around his sister and dawdled over to the barbeque that Liam was prepping. ‘So, what can I do? Want me to grab the meat from the kitchen?’

  ‘Oh, yes, thanks. It’s all in the fridge. I better get onto those salads.’ Sarah said, wiping the corner of her eye with her middle finger. ‘Sam, don’t climb the railing, honey!’ she said as she walked back inside.

  A knock on the door sounded and Drew turned to face the entrance. A lump formed in his throat.

  ‘Gemma, your father’s here!’ Sarah called out, walking to the door.

  She opened it to reveal a slightly overweight Barry who, ironically, had been called The Stick by other kids in school owing to his long lanky frame, which had more than filled out with age. His desk job probably hadn’t helped.

  ‘Hey, Baz, she’s ready I think.’ Sarah welcomed him in then returned to the kitchen, like he was just part of the furniture. They’d gotten over their issues years ago and were like old mates now, but for Drew, Barry still made his muscles tense and his stomach turn. It was hard to get over a grudge when the other person had one of their own against you.

  Drew gave a curt nod. ‘Barry.’

  ‘Drew.’ He nodded back.

  ‘It’s been a while.’

  ‘Yeah, it has. How’s L.A.?’

  ‘Oh, you know…same old, same old.’

  ‘Actually I don’t. Never been there.’

  Damn. Foot in mouth.

  Drew scratched his head. ‘Well, nothing beats Tarrin’s Bay, I can tell you that.’

  ‘You haven’t been back for a while. How long you stayin’?’ Barry’s hands slipped into his pockets. He obviously didn’t want to shake hands.

  ‘Going home on the 1st of March.’

  ‘Right.’ He nodded.

  A clicking of heels on the floor became louder as Gemma emerged from her room, guitar in hand. ‘Hey, Dad. Ready to go?’

  ‘Absolutely.’ He leaned forward and pecked her on the cheek. ‘We’re going to rock Café Lagoon tonight, aren’t we, huh?’r />
  ‘For sure.’ She smiled.

  ‘It’s not quite Wembley Stadium, but there’s something great about a small, intimate crowd, don’t ya think?’

  ‘I’d be happy with any type of crowd Dad, and Wembley Stadium? Oh man, I so hope I get there one day!’

  ‘There’s no rush, honey.’ Sarah came over and hugged her daughter. ‘But have a good night.’

  Barry ushered his daughter to the door. ‘You can achieve whatever you want, sweetheart. You’ve got what it takes, that’s for sure.’

  ‘Thanks Dad,’ she said, walking outside, then turning around briefly to wave. ‘Bye Drew. See you tomorrow. Shame you can’t come tonight.’ She pouted and turned away again.

  ‘Yeah, shame. But that’s the price of fame, eh, Drew?’ Barry said when Gemma was out of earshot.

  His stomach turned again. There was definitely a double meaning in Barry’s words. He knew how to make him feel guilty for what he did all those years ago, and even though Drew knew he’d done what any of his other band mates would have done, given the same choice, it still gnawed away at him.

  ‘Don’t listen to him,’ Sarah said, when Barry and Gemma drove off.

  Drew chewed on his lip. ‘After all these years, he’s still mad at me.’

  ‘Well, aren’t you still a little mad at him too?’ She raised her eyebrows.

  ‘Well, yes, but that’s different. That’s about a big brother wanting to protect his little sister.’ He pinched her cheek.

  ‘I don’t need protecting now, Drew. I’m not seventeen any more. I’m a thirty-five-year-old mother of two, and I’m finally happily married. What’s done is done, don’t keep blaming Barry for something I played a fifty percent role in.’

  ‘Sorry, can’t hold back those brotherly instincts, I guess. But you wanted to travel and see the world, and then he — my mate — goes and gets my little sister pregnant. I was so angry at him at the time; I didn’t even know he had the hots for you. Explains why he always wanted to do band practice at our house instead of his.’

  ‘Yeah, well, he was a teenager. Hormones and all. And it was almost twenty years ago, let’s just forget about it.’