February Or Forever

by Juliet Madison

  ‘I would if he would — he’s never forgiven me.’

  ‘Well maybe February will be the month for forgiveness. You two should talk while you’re here, sort things out once and for all.’

  ‘We’ll see. I have a few other things on my mind to deal with too, you know.’

  ‘Yes, I know. Sorry, how is it all going?’

  He rubbed the back of his neck. ‘Actually, let’s not talk about it now. Let’s just enjoy a nice dinner, hey?’

  ‘Sounds good.’ Sarah plonked a bag of spinach leaves into a salad bowl, then glanced up. ‘Oh, I almost forgot. Your yoga teacher is very nice, isn’t she?’ Sarah grinned.

  ‘What?’ Drew gulped. ‘You met her? How did you know? Did she say something?’

  ‘No, no, of course not. I opened my big mouth, that’s all.’

  Drew leaned on the kitchen bench, curious.

  ‘Her son, Kai, is friends with Sam. She took them both to the country fair today. I invited her in for a cuppa afterwards and she heard Gemma singing.’ Sarah tipped a container of cherry tomatoes into the bowl. ‘I blurted out that she takes after Uncle Drew and the poor woman’s jaw practically dropped to the floor.’

  A grin slid into Drew’s cheeks.

  ‘Even then she didn’t say anything, but was acting strange, so I eventually got it out of her that she was teaching you for the month. I think she was scared of breaking her contract, but obviously I already knew you were here.’

  Drew straightened up. ‘She mentioned she was going to the country fair with her son, I didn’t know he was bringing a friend. That’s great, might help him be happier about going to school.’

  ‘It was a last minute thing…hang on, it sounds like you know a whole lot about Chrissie and her son. Have you been spending time together outside of the yoga studio?’

  ‘Of course not. We do yoga, we talk, nothing else to it.’

  ‘She’s nice, I like her. Sounds like she’s been through a bit though — divorce, her aunt’s death…’

  ‘Yeah, I think there’s something else going on beneath the surface. I can tell she’s trying to be strong, but…I don’t know, just a feeling.’

  ‘You and your feelings. Always the intuitive one, aren’t you?’

  ‘I find people interesting, that’s all. Probably why I get caught up with ones like Jolene, I get this idea in my head that I can help them.’

  ‘Maybe you can. Chrissie I mean, if she needs it that is, not Jolene.’

  ‘Something tells me she doesn’t want any help. I think she wants to keep putting on a brave face and pretending everything’s okay.’

  ‘Don’t we all?’ She tilted her head to the side and smiled softly.

  ‘True.’ Drew picked up the tray of meat and walked out of the kitchen. He’d been putting on one of those faces for a long time. Even when he thought he was alone, you could never tell if anyone was hiding in nearby bushes with a camera rolling. At least at Serendipity he’d have a chance to relax and be himself, have some much needed privacy, and prepare himself for the media attention when he returned home. But after enjoying his first week back in the bay, part of him was wondering if he even wanted to go back to L.A.

  Chapter 12

  Chrissie’s phone beeped as she got out of her car in the Serendipity parking lot.

  Please don’t be the school, please don’t be the school…

  She eyed the text message: Hi Chrissie, how’s Kai? Did you try out the reward thing with him? More importantly, how are you? Mel xx

  She closed the car door with a flick of her hip and keyed in a reply: I’m good. Thanks for advice, Kai went happily to school rest of last week, took to a fair as a reward & he made a new friend. As for today…he kicked up a fuss again, can you believe it? Will have to think up new reward, or get his dad to come up with one. Gotta go, have a good week xx

  She pushed open the door to the staff entrance and tried to push away the image of her son’s face this morning. He’d had the whole ‘but Mummy, I want to be with you and cuddle all day’ look going on, which always tugged at her heartstrings. At least he hadn’t used superhuman six-year-old strength to glue his body to the spot where no amount of tugging or lifting would move him. He was too big now, too heavy. When he was younger and he pulled that classic childhood trick she could still pick him up and heave him to where he needed to go, but now, she’d probably end up with a slipped disc or a hernia.

  ‘Chrissie, hi,’ Helena said, gesturing her into her office.

  ‘Morning, Helena. How are you?’

  ‘I’m great, how are you going with Mr Williams?’

  Helena remained standing, indicating this was to be just a quick meeting.

  ‘It’s going really well. He’s a pleasure to teach.’ She hoped that didn’t come across too keen. If she showed any indication of being smitten Helena would no doubt get Damon to take over the role. Not that she was smitten, she barely knew the guy. If she felt anything, it was purely an appreciation of his incredible musical skills and entertaining ability. Wasn’t it? But somehow, after knowing him only a week, and meeting his sister, it felt like she’d known him a lot longer. Yoga did that. It stripped away the surface stuff and opened people up to simple, human, connection: with themselves, the universe, and with the people in the class. A room full of meditating people was quite powerful; you could sense a lifting of energy, like a positive vibe, wafting through the room. With only two people the effect, although less, was more palpable. Chrissie was comfortable around Drew now — most of the time. When she was doing her thing, in her element, she could relax and be herself without all the baggage that she came with.

  ‘He says you’re a pleasure to be taught by.’ Helena smiled.

  ‘He does? Oh, well that’s good. I’m glad he’s enjoying the lessons.’

  ‘How’s your son going? No more tummy aches?’

  ‘No more, thankfully.’ Chrissie tapped her knuckles on the wooden desk.

  ‘Good. Well, your morning class awaits. I’ll let you get organised. And keep up the good work with the private lessons. Let me know if I can help you with anything.’

  ‘Will do, thanks Helena.’ Chrissie walked out, waving at Damon on his phone in the staff lounge.

  Despite Kai’s reluctance this morning to attend school, maybe this week would turn out just fine. A sense of anticipation bubbled inside, not for the group class she was about to teach, but for what would come afterwards.

  ‘Hello, hello,’ Drew’s energetic voice said as he entered the studio. ‘Ready for an awesome week ahead?’

  Chrissie shook the flame away from the match she’d used to light the candle, and smiled. ‘Yes indeed. You look like you’ve had a good night’s sleep. Recovered from your jet lag yet?’

  ‘Pretty much. But I’ll have to un-recover as soon as I get home next month.’

  ‘True.’ There it was again, the reminder that Drew was only here for a short time. In three weeks, he’d be gone. Out of Tarrin’s Bay, Australia, and her life. The thought twisted uncomfortably inside her head. ‘So, how is your new song going? I’m glad the meditation helped.’

  He rubbed his hands together. ‘Yes, it’s turning out well. I’m playing around with some variations in the melody and still have to write the second and third verse, but I like it.’

  ‘I hope I get to hear it one day.’

  ‘I hope so too.’ He smiled. ‘I might have to dedicate it to you and the beautiful place that is Serendipity for inspiring me.’ He walked to the window and looked out over the garden.

  ‘Oh, I bet it was just that you’d quietened your mind, that’s all. Relaxation puts your brain into an alpha state, which can open up the well of creativity and intuition. That’s why you often think of things or get ideas right before falling asleep, when waking up, or even in the shower.’ Why was she trying to rationalise his creativity and downplay his compliment? She should just say ‘that’s lovely of you, thanks’, and smile like a normal person, but instead she was talking about
alpha brain waves and getting ideas in the shower? Settle down, Chrissie.

  ‘Ahh, I often get ideas in the shower. If they’re good ones I can be in there for ages. Good for my creativity but not so good for saving water.’ He grinned.

  Why did he have to mention showering? Hang on, I was the one who brought it up, and now all I can think of is Drew in the shower…steam…water dripping down his skin…stop!

  Chrissie cleared her throat. ‘I guess you’ve got to go with the inspiration when it strikes.’

  ‘And it often strikes when you least expect it.’

  ‘Most things do.’

  He nodded slowly. ‘They do, don’t they? Life is one long journey with unexpected twists and turns. Bit like yoga, though the twists and turns are expected.’

  ‘Yes, and they can be controlled, unlike life.’

  ‘If only life was like one long yoga class…time to warm up, prepare, know what’s coming, and time to rest and recover here and there.’

  Chrissie admired Drew’s analogy as she took the mats from the shelf. ‘Sounds perfect.’ That was exactly why she loved yoga; it empowered her and gave her strength. If a pose was difficult she could ease back a little, try again later, if one was easy she could fully embrace it and enjoy the moment. With yoga she was in the driver’s seat, with life she was a worried passenger clinging to the seat as life swerved her around corners and leapt over bumps, knowing there could be a collision at any time and constantly bracing herself for impact. Panic attacks had taken her sense of security, made her live in fear, and although she had mostly recovered from them, their resurgence recently had rattled her confidence. But she would get through it all, somehow. She had to. There was a young man depending on her, and she couldn’t let him down. She wanted nothing more than to give Kai the long happy childhood she didn’t have. At least, she did have one until it had been cut short. She was determined not to let that happen to her son. Whatever it took, she would take care of him, guide him, and keep him safe.

  ‘I heard Kai had a great time at the country fair.’

  Chrissie dropped one of the mats. ‘Um, yes. He did.’ She eyed him with a questioning look.

  He smiled. ‘My sister told me all about it.’

  ‘Ahh, so she told you that we…that I…that we’re…’

  ‘That she knows you’re my fabulous yoga instructor, yes.’ He bent down and picked up the fallen mat, placing it in the middle of the floor, Chrissie placing hers nearby.

  ‘You’re the most complimentary person I’ve met.’ Chrissie tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear.

  ‘And you’re the most complimentable person I’ve met. If that’s even a word?’

  ‘Well it is now.’ She grinned.

  ‘I’ll have to speak to those Oxford people and see what they can do about adding it to the dictionary,’ Drew said.

  ‘For sure. And while you’re at it, see if they can add “healthious”. Kai made that one up, for food that is both healthy, and — ’

  ‘Delicious?’

  ‘Yes.’

  ‘Healthious,’ he nodded his head, ‘I like it.’

  ‘I’ll let him know you said that,’ Chrissie replied. ‘Oh.’ No she wouldn’t. Couldn’t. Not that a child would leak to the media the news of a celebrity in town, but you couldn’t be too careful with schoolyard gossip. ‘Don’t worry, I won’t really tell him. He doesn’t even know about you. I mean, he knows about you, he’s heard your music when I play it in the car, and…’ Oh God, save me now.

  Drew held up a hand. ‘It’s okay, really. I know what you mean.’ He took a few steps closer. ‘You play my music in your car?’

  Heat rushed up her spine, encircling each vertebra like a spiralling tsunami of fire. ‘Um, yes. Sometimes. Not that often, just when I feel like it. Not that I don’t always feel like listening to your music, just when the mood strikes, and — ’

  ‘Chrissie. He placed a hand on her arm. ‘I’m flattered. Thank you.’ Sunlight rebounded off his eyes and landed on hers, and she blinked twice, the variations of blue hues in his irises resembling the ocean.

  ‘Sounds like your niece has taken after you,’ Chrissie said, hoping she didn’t appear to be prying into his personal life. ‘I heard her sing. She’s fantastic.’

  A subtle glow emanated from Drew’s face. ‘Isn’t she? I spent a few hours jamming with her yesterday. She’s got some great ideas for songs, and plays the guitar like it’s an — ’

  ‘Extra limb?’

  He turned the palm of one of his hands upwards. ‘Exactly. Though I can’t take all the genetic credit; her dad’s got some mean musical skills too.’

  ‘Really?’

  ‘Yeah, he plays a few local gigs, even took Gemma to one on Saturday night.’

  ‘Not at Café Lagoon by any chance?’

  ‘Yes, actually. You been there?’

  ‘I was there on Friday. The young barista mentioned they had live music on occasion. He was quite the salesman, Made great coffee too.’

  ‘So you do drink coffee? You’re not one of those diehard vegetarian organic free-range natural yogis?’

  She laughed. ‘Not exactly, a bit hard to be one when your child wants sausage sandwiches and potato chips. I do follow a clean diet, but there’s room in life for treats in moderation.’

  ‘Good to hear. I thought maybe my yoga teacher would force me to eat nothing but fruit and vegetables and tofu. But you, well, you’re my kind of yogi.’ The way his lips moved when he spoke was hypnotic.

  ‘Well, I really should be advising you to follow the yogic way of living, but I also know that we live in a world where sometimes we just have to do the best with what we’ve got. Some people can get so obsessed by what they eat, the stress causes more problems than not eating the unhealthy food!’

  ‘I’d choose me some pizza over stress any day.’

  ‘Stress is much worse for the body.’ And didn’t she know it. It had taken years to get off painkillers for her headaches, but thanks to natural medicine and consistent yoga practise, she only got them occasionally now.

  ‘I can imagine.’ Drew glanced to the side, and Chrissie sensed that he was holding in some stress of his own beneath his cheery, positive persona.

  ‘So do you think your niece will follow in your footsteps to a career in music?

  His gaze returned to her. ‘Yes, I think so. Though Sarah’s not too keen for her to jump in at the deep end. Gemma, of course, wants to get started as soon as possible. Now that she’s finished school and nearing eighteen, well, the world is at her feet.’

  ‘She’s lucky to have you to help her.’

  ‘Thanks, I love seeing how far she’s come. I do try not to step on her father’s toes though, it’s better if he can be the one to guide her.’

  ‘I’m sure he’d be wrapt to have you give her some inside knowledge of the industry.’

  Drew frowned. ‘Hmm, not so much.’

  Chrissie narrowed her eyes.

  ‘We used to be mates. When we were teenagers,’ Drew said. ‘We set up a band and practised on weekends and after school. He also plays guitar and sings, though he always said he had more of a back-up singer’s voice. Anyway, long story short, he’s never really forgiven me for leaving the band in favour of a solo career.’

  ‘Oh, that’s tough. But surely, I mean, that was so many years ago, he hasn’t let sleeping dogs lie?’

  ‘Tried to. We’ve seen each other occasionally of course, on account of my niece being his daughter, but unfortunately, when I left our friendship went down the gurgler.’

  ‘That’s such a shame.’

  ‘Yeah.’ He scratched his chin.

  Chrissie thought back to the television talent show where she’d first seen Drew as a long-haired, heart-throb teenage star in the making. ‘Hang on; was he on that show with you?’

  ‘You saw it?’ His eyes widened.

  ‘I have a vague recollection, yes.’ And a not-so-vague recollection of racking up a decent sum on her mot
her’s phone bill by voting for him a zillion times. Oh, and crying with joy along with a friend when Drew won the show.

  ‘Barry and two other mates auditioned with me, we called ourselves The Bay Boys, can you believe it?’ Drew poked a finger into his mouth to feign puking, then laughed. ‘The judges said we were good, but they would only put me through to the next round as a solo artist. They liked the boys, but thought I’d do better on my own. So they got me to sing solo, and that sealed the deal. It was either stick with my mates and leave the show, or leave my mates and go through on my own.’

  Chrissie shook her head. ‘I can’t imagine how hard a decision that must have been. But it was totally understandable you went for it. I mean, they would have done the same thing I’m sure.’

  ‘Well at first I decided not to go through. The judges gave me to the end of the day to decide, and I thought nope, I can’t do that to them. I told the boys, but they said “Look, Drew, you shouldn’t have to pass up this opportunity because of us. You’ll regret it.” Barry kept quiet though. I knew I’d regret something either way, and when my mates encouraged me to go for it, I did. Not realising at the time how Barry really felt.’

  ‘So now he feels like you abandoned him for something bigger and better.’

  ‘That’s pretty much it. His career never extended beyond casual gigs, and I think he resents me for that.’

  ‘And your other band mates?’

  Drew rested his hands loosely on his hips. ‘They were happy for me. Adam went on to become a high school music teacher and Craig now owns his own real estate agency — go figure.’

  ‘So you never wish you’d pursued a career out of the spotlight?’

  ‘There’ve been a few times I wished I could turn back time and be anonymous, do what I want without having an audience, but once I get on that stage and share my passion, there’s nothing like it.’ Drew’s eyes shined, a satisfied smile gracing his face.

  ‘Some people are just born for it, I think.’

  ‘True.’ He tapped her arm. ‘And you, you’re born for teaching yoga.’