February Or Forever

by Juliet Madison

  ‘Tease,’ Chrissie said. ‘So,’ she gestured around. ‘Welcome to the three hat ‘Sand Dune’ restaurant.’

  ‘I don’t see any hat, let alone three of them.’

  ‘Stop it, you.’ She gently kicked his leg. ‘I’m sure with your glamorous lifestyle and an ex-chef for a father you know all about how restaurants are rated.’

  ‘Of course. But I think it’s a silly thing to call it. They should use something else instead of hats.’

  ‘Such as…?’

  ‘Such as…mmm’s or something.’

  ‘Mmm’s?’

  ‘Yeah, the more mmm’s the nicer the food and service. One hat is mmm, two hats is mmm, mmm, and three hats is mmm, mmm, mmm as in delicious.’

  Chrissie’s mouth practically watered at the way his mouth made the mmm sounds. ‘And what if the food was even better than mmm, mmm, mmm?’

  Drew glanced up at the sky in thought. ‘Maybe it would be a yes! yes! yes! Like in When Harry Met Sally. ‘

  Chrissie laughed. ‘Well I don’t think the food I’ve brought will be that…stimulating, but I hope it’ll at least be a one mmm.’

  ‘So what’s on the menu?’ Drew lifted the lids of the plastic containers.

  ‘Sorry, it’s not very fancy. Plastic containers and all that.’

  ‘It’s a picnic, and you know me, I’d be happy with Vegemite sandwiches.’

  ‘Funny you should say that,’ Chrissie said, as Drew eyed the ribbon sandwiches she’d made.

  Drew’s eyebrows rose.

  ‘Kidding, no Vegemite ones I’m afraid, but I do have chicken and cucumber and ham and coleslaw.’

  ‘Even better.’ He rubbed his stomach. ‘And you even brought cheese and crackers and antipasto. Thanks for this, you rock!’

  ‘Ha,’ she replied, pointing to his guitar. ‘And you.’

  He smiled, and tipped his head towards the rocky hill next to them. ‘And that.’

  ‘Haha, good pun.’ Chrissie gestured to the picnic rug. ‘Please take a seat, sir.’

  Drew sat and shifted around to get comfortable, the guitar on one side of him, Chrissie on the other.

  ‘Can I get you a glass of house wine, sir?’

  ‘Please.’ He held up a plastic goblet and she poured in the sparkling liquid. ‘So much for being alcohol free this month.’

  ‘I won’t tell anyone at Serendipity.’

  ‘Good.’

  Chrissie poured one for herself and Drew held his out and clinked hers, even though it was more of a dull clunk and barely audible. ‘Cheers.’

  ‘Cheers.’

  Chrissie tipped wine down her throat, the coolness soon replaced by the warm feeling of the alcohol. The waves in the ocean whooshed and hummed, rolled in and sunk back out, forward, backward, like the thoughts and emotions in her mind. Go to Drew, pull away from Drew — repeat. The more she pulled away the more she wanted to return to him, and the more she returned to him, the more she wanted to stay, despite her conflicting thoughts on the issue.

  ‘These are nice, very posh,’ Drew said after munching into a ribbon sandwich. ‘Good thing there aren’t any crusts, I really don’t want my hair to go curly.’

  Chrissie’s hand reached up to his head before she knew what she was doing. She ran it across the prickly softness of his number two cut. ‘You don’t have enough hair to make any curls.’ She grinned.

  ‘Good thing, then. But you,’ he ran his hand through her long wavy hair, ‘you’ve got definite curl potential here.’ He twirled a few strands between his finger and they coiled and slipped around it.

  ‘My hair can’t make up its mind. It’s not straight, and not curly.’

  ‘It’s strurly.’ He grinned.

  ‘You love playing with words, don’t you?’

  ‘It’s my job. I spend more time writing songs than I do singing them. Performing is only a small percentage of my career. Then there’s the publicity, the photo shoots, the interviews, the management discussions and strategic planning. Sheesh, I’m getting a headache just thinking about it all.’

  ‘You sure one month is enough time off for you?’ Had she alluded to a double meaning with her question, as though she wanted him to stay longer? She only realised once the words had been spoken.

  ‘I’ll let you know once I get back to the States. But yeah, I’m enjoying the time off.’ He caught her eye with his gaze. ‘Really enjoying it.’

  When the wine was almost gone and only crumbs remained on the plates, Chrissie put them to the side. ‘Now, I do have dessert in the kitchen if you want any. Thought I’d wait and see.’

  ‘I’m good for now, but my stomach will let me know soon enough if not.’ He rubbed it. ‘Hey, I haven’t played for you yet.’ He lifted his guitar and sat it on his lap. ‘A Good Start, right?’

  ‘One of my favourites.’ She manoeuvred back a little to give him room, and rested on her hands behind her for support.

  Chrissie watched his hands, the way they delicately cradled the instrument, the way his fingers knew just where to press and move. It was as hypnotic as his music. She wished she was the guitar, being embraced and adored and caressed in all the right places. The rhythmic tones from the guitar filled the air, each note like a little star, rising up to join the others shining their light on the world.

  She could listen to his voice all day. All night. She closed her eyes, rocking side to side in time with the music. When the rhythm intensified in anticipation of the faster tempo of the chorus, she opened her eyes and her lips parted in a smile as Drew sang.

  ‘May not be right, may not be wrong,

  But I’ve been waiting far too long.

  Who knows whether I’ve made the right choice,

  But I know, I know, it’s a good start…’

  When he finished singing he placed his guitar to the side as Chrissie clapped. He gave an exaggerated bow and thanked her. ‘And the crowd went wild…’ He cupped his hands around his mouth and made a noise like a clapping crowd of thousands.

  ‘I feel honoured to get a private show,’ Chrissie said, wriggling closer on the rug.

  ‘The honour’s all mine.’ He smiled.

  ‘Those people at the Love Festival,’ Chrissie cocked her head to the right, ‘don’t know what they’re missing out on.’

  ‘Agreed.’ Drew said.

  He couldn’t have been talking about his own music, so did he mean — being with her? Oh boy.

  Chrissie looked up at the sky. ‘Such a beautiful, clear night.’

  ‘It is.’ Drew glanced up too, the stars embellishing the sky like twinkling jewels. ‘You know, when I was a kid, I used to think stars were like guardian angels or something. Coming out at night to watch over the world. One star for each person on earth.’

  ‘How beautiful. Maybe they are, who knows.’

  ‘I was quite disappointed when my dad informed me that they were simply collections of gas hovering in the sky and the glow is due to simple physics and chemistry.’

  ‘Trust science to spoil something so wondrous.’

  ‘Yeah. I had it in for science since then. Rebelled by becoming a musician.’ He glanced at Chrissie and grinned.

  ‘You know, I’m surprised you still have a hundred percent of your Aussie accent. You’d think after so long in the States you would have developed a bit of an accent.’

  ‘Ah, you can take me out of the country but you can’t take the country outta me.’ He chuckled.

  ‘Good to see.’ Chrissie said. ‘So, what do you love most about being a singer?’

  ‘Well, the thrill of singing of course, but mostly I love creating something that didn’t exist before. Lyrics, a melody, a beat. Bringing emotions and thoughts and ideas to life and sharing them with others. So satisfying.’ His words exuded passion, and a calm, content buzz hung in the air around them, like time didn’t matter, only this moment. ‘And then there’s the bonus of meeting people like you.’ He nudged her in the side with his elbow.

  Chrissie lowered her chin
and smiled. ‘Well I never thought I’d be teaching yoga to a celebrity whose work I admire so much.’

  ‘Aw, thanks. Life is strange, eh? But as for celebrity, I’ve never really got used to that word. I don’t feel like a celebrity, I just feel like me.’

  ‘How have you managed to stay so down to earth and humble?’ Chrissie asked. ‘Your life’s been in the spotlight since you were barely an adult and yet, talking to you, being with you, you don’t have any of the attitude that some others in your position seem to have.’

  Drew shrugged. ‘I’ve had some good mentors to keep me grounded. One of them said to me early on, “Don’t put on an act. Let your performances be an extension of who you are. If you pretend to be something you’re not, you’ll spend your life trying to live up to that image and you’ll lose yourself in the process.”‘

  ‘What wise words.’

  ‘Indeed. I’ll have to pass them onto Gemma before she gets carried away with the allure of bright lights and applause.’

  ‘Good idea.’ Chrissie thought about her own career, and how much more herself she’d felt when she switched from journalism to yoga teaching. ‘That’s what I love about yoga. It allows people, no matter who they are or what they’ve done, to just be themselves for a while. Get back to basics and nourish their mind and body.’

  ‘Exactly why I wanted these classes this month,’ Drew replied. ‘And so far, they’ve given me all that and more. I’ll definitely be keeping up with daily practise when I get home.’ Drew lay on his back, his hands joined together behind his head and bent knees pointing upwards.

  ‘I’m glad.’ Well, glad about the yoga, not about the going home bit. Chrissie followed his lead and lay back too, hypnotised by the sparkling dots in the sky.

  ‘I think for tonight I’m going to believe that those stars really are guardian angels and not just lumps of gas.’ Drew said.

  ‘Me too. I like your hypothesis much more.’ Chrissie imagined each star as a caring soul whose purpose was to guide and protect her. ‘Isn’t it funny how you can actually get a star named after you?’

  ‘Ha! I’ve got one.’

  She turned to face him. ‘Really? There’s a Drew Williams up there?’ Her grin grew along with his.

  ‘Sure is. It was given to me as a gift. Hey, I should get one for you!’

  ‘Oh,’ she giggled, ‘I don’t need one. No need to go to all the trouble.’

  ‘But then you could join me and my mates up there.’

  ‘Mates?’

  ‘Yeah.’ He released his hands from behind his head and pointed to the sky. ‘See, that one there is Bob, that’s Dazza, and that’s Pete.’

  A laugh bubbled out from Chrissie, and as Drew lowered his arm by his side it brushed against hers, sending tingles of bliss along her skin. His arm flinched ever so slightly, as though he’d felt it too, and for a moment they didn’t speak, just gazed at the stars and breathed in the salty air as the waves whooshed onto the nearby shore.

  There’d be no need for a jacket or cardi tonight; heat ran along her arm from Drew’s skin to hers, spreading throughout her body and heightening her senses. Drew’s hand moved a little, and breath caught in Chrissie’s throat as his pinky finger hooked onto hers. She would have continued focusing on the stars and enjoying the sensation of his skin against hers, had it not been for the unmistakeable feeling that he had turned his head and was now looking right at her.

  Slowly, Chrissie’s gaze left the stars above and turned to the one lying next to her. His golden brown skin had a light sheen from the moonlight, his eyes had a glint in them from the stars, and his lips, oh his lips…

  Chrissie pressed her lips together and swallowed. ‘What are you thinking about?’ she whispered, her words merely a passenger riding on her breath as it floated from her lungs.

  Drew’s breath warmed her face as it swirled across her cheeks. ‘I’m thinking how much I want to kiss you right now.’

  Chrissie’s lips parted and a small sigh escaped. Her unblinking eyes saw deep into his, sought out his heart, and longed to remain there forever. ‘Then do it,’ she replied.

  He rolled slowly onto his side and propped himself up on his elbow, as Chrissie remained still, her body vulnerable, desperate for his touch.

  Drew leaned over her and his hand touched her face, tracing the line of her jaw. His thumb moved lightly across her tingling lips as he looked hungrily at them. The tingles intensified as his face came closer, and a ripple of desire shot through her body as the softness of his lips brushed against hers. She reached up and touched the firm, muscular terrain of his back, pulling him closer as his mouth pressed onto hers; around it, over it, into it. His soft lips enveloped hers from every possible angle as though he couldn’t get enough, and she received them eagerly, kissing him back with more passion and need than she’d ever experienced before.

  Drew straightened his supporting elbow, slid his arm under her neck, and rolled her body forward to meet his. Chrissie tucked her other arm around his back and her body melded into his as their lips grew hungrier. His hand ran down her back, leaving a trail of shivers in its wake, then ran back up her spine and his fingers delved into her hair, twirling and tangling and grabbing.

  She pulled away slightly to take a breath, sucking the air into her mouth sharply, then commanding his lips again as she exhaled.

  The sound of the waves rolling into shore faded from Chrissie’s mind, the only sounds she heard were Drew’s breath, their silken lips dancing together, and her heart telling her not to let him go.

  Chapter 17

  Thin slivers of light seeping through the bamboo venetian blinds opened Drew’s eyes on Monday morning. Despite his late night after being at Honeydew House all day sorting through old things, now that he was awake, he couldn’t drift back to sleep. Not once he remembered he’d be seeing Chrissie in a few hours.

  His mouth stretched into a yawn and he rolled over in the bed, his eyes catching sight of the sunset painting. His mind flitted back to Saturday night on the beach with Chrissie, the fun conversation they’d shared, and the completely natural progression to their passionate kiss. They’d kissed for so long, he’d had no idea how much time had passed until he made his way back to Serendipity and it was after eleven. His body had wanted things to progress even further, but his mind had proven stronger. It would be too much, too soon, and he didn’t want to mess her around.

  Sunday at his parents’ house had proven to be an ideal distraction, since all he wanted was to go back to Chrissie’s place and be with her. He had decided not to call her, and she hadn’t called him either. He knew he’d see her on Monday, and maybe they needed Sunday apart to process what had happened between them.

  Drew stepped out of bed and stretched his arms high. His back ached from being hunched over boxes all day, sifting and sorting through items from his childhood. Since he’d left home quite suddenly after winning Search for a Star, there’d never been any time to go through absolutely everything, and his parents had told him they could store it until he had time to come back and do it. It had taken him close to twenty years to find that time. He thought he’d need a few more days, but he’d gone through every single box yesterday and hadn’t stopped until 10 p.m. It was cathartic, but an emotionally draining experience. His whole past, condensed into a ton of objects, and he had to decide which things to keep and which to chuck away. The same went for his life in general. It got him thinking about which habits and beliefs he needed to keep and which no longer served him. The thought that he needed to keep up at the same speed he’d always travelled gnawed at him. He wasn’t an up and coming twenty-something anymore, always on the lookout for the next thrill and the high of performing. He’d be forty in a few years, and no longer desired to live life at high speed. How could he slow down and still do what he loved? Music was competitive, new stars were popping up all over the place, and he needed to keep his exposure in the industry to maintain his success. But was it worth the constant workload?


  The box of old photos he’d looked through yesterday had taken the longest. It’d been like a movie passing before his eyes. He’d gone out to the living room every now and again with a photo in hand saying, ‘Hey, Mum, remember this?’ and ‘Dad, check out your hair and beard in this one!’ They’d chatted about old times and shared memories over coffee and Dad’s award-winning scones. There were photos of his young days at athletics, running races and winning medals and ribbons. He’d been quite the runner until he’d discovered he could sing, and took up playing the guitar. As a teenager he’d surf on weekends with his mates, Barry included. He really needed to see him again before he left, try to make an effort to set things right.

  But first, there was the Chrissie issue.

  If he wasn’t leaving in two weeks there’d be no question about it — he’d continue seeing her. If she felt the same way, which by the look of things the other night, she did. But he wasn’t staying; he couldn’t.

  He unplugged his phone from the charger and checked his phone for messages. No texts, but a few emails, just the usual ones, nothing that he needed to read right now.

  Drew stripped off his trunks and turned on the shower, running his hand under the flow of water until it heated up. He stepped in and revelled in the warm, firm spray of water waking up his body. He squirted the Serendipity shower gel onto his palm and rubbed his hands together, then rubbed the foamy liquid over his face and body. His thoughts turned to Chrissie again. How beautiful and innocent she’d looked lying under the starry sky, the way she’d laughed when he’d pretended the stars were called Bob, Dazza, and Pete. Being around her brought a sense of calm and a sense of excitement at the same time. An innate primal urge wanted to protect her, help her, stand strong by her side, and show her how special she was. He knew she’d been putting on a brave face for too many years, but had recently started to open up and share her heart and soul with him. How was it that he’d only known her for two short weeks but felt like he’d known her much longer? Their connection was so strong, so deep on some unconscious level, and so magnetic.