February Or Forever

by Juliet Madison

  ‘Yes, slowly but surely I’ll get things finished. If I didn’t have a full-time job I’d get a lot more done.’

  ‘I bet. How is work going? Is my brother becoming a yoga expert?’ She smiled.

  ‘He’s quite good, actually. Bit of a chatterbox though.’ She chuckled.

  ‘Oh yes, Drew’s always up for a conversation.’

  And other stuff, but I won’t tell you about that.

  ‘Found one, Mum.’ Kai held up a book and Chrissie inspected it.

  ‘Looks good to me. How about you, Sam, would you like a book?’

  ‘This one looks good.’ He held up a small chapter book.

  ‘Two books coming up.’ Chrissie got out her purse.

  ‘Oh, you don’t have to do that, Chrissie. I’ll pay for it.’ Sarah got out her purse.

  ‘No, seriously, I’d like to. They don’t cost much.’ She paid the stallholder who put each book in a paper bag, which the kids tucked under their arms.

  Wandering along, Chrissie’s stomach grumbled at the array of food stalls and tempting smells wafting nearby. ‘I might grab a bite to eat, you want anything?’ Chrissie asked Sarah. ‘Corn on the cob?’ She eyed the golden yellow corn being barbequed, brown flecks searing the edges of the kernels.

  ‘Looks good,’ she said. ‘Want some, kids?’

  They nodded and each bought a couple of cobs on sticks. The buttery flavour satisfied Chrissie’s stomach, and they had to stand still to eat as Kai kept dropping his book. When they finished, the boys stood near a magician showing some tricks, wonder and smiles on their faces. Sarah covered her mouth, and her face went pale.

  ‘Are you okay?’ Chrissie placed her hand on Sarah’s arm.

  ‘Just a bit light-headed. Been on my feet all day.’ She sat on the concrete wall separating the footpath from the harbour. It was a little too close to the water for Chrissie’s liking, but she couldn’t do anything about that right now.

  Sarah’s stomach heaved forward and she covered her mouth again.

  ‘Oh no, was it the corn? Not agreeing with you?’

  ‘Something like that.’ She took a sip of water from the bottle in her bag.

  ‘Is there anything I can do, or get for you?’

  ‘No, not to worry. I’ll be fine in a minute.’ She clamped her lips together in a brave smile, then looked at Sam and Kai enjoying the magic show, and her eyes welled up.

  ‘What is it, Sarah?’

  Sarah turned to face Chrissie. ‘I’m pregnant.’ She held up her hands in resignation.

  The thought had crossed Chrissie’s mind but she hadn’t wanted to ask about it. ‘Oh my God, that’s fantastic. Congratulations!’ She placed a hand on Sarah’s back.

  Sarah leaned closer to Chrissie. ‘Shh, no one knows yet.’

  ‘What about Liam?’

  She shook her head.

  ‘Why not?’

  ‘I only found out this morning. He rushed off to the gym just after I got out of bed, and I had to get things ready for my jewellery stall. I wasn’t even going to do the test yet, but I had it in my drawer and had a few minutes alone so I thought, “What the heck”.’

  ‘Wow, well, how do you feel about it?’

  ‘I don’t know, to be honest. It wasn’t planned. I don’t know how it happened. We hadn’t talked about having another child, with Gemma and Sam I sorta felt I was done.’ She gestured to her belly. ‘But apparently not!’

  The magician made long lengths of ribbons appear from his hat and the kids clapped, picking them up and running them through their fingers. Thank goodness they were occupied right now. It could be hard to have serious conversations around kids.

  ‘Well you’re a great mum. I think you’ll be fine.’

  ‘Thank you. It’s just such a shock.’ She ran her hand through her hair. ‘And I sure know how to have large age gaps between kids. An eighteen-year-old, six-year-old, and now a soon-to-be newborn. So much for the family holiday I thought we could take next year.’

  ‘Do you think Liam will be okay with it?’ Chrissie asked.

  ‘He’ll have to be, I guess. It’s half his fault.’ She laughed, then her eyes teared up again.

  Chrissie handed her a tissue.

  ‘Thanks, Chrissie. Sorry to blurt it out like that. I had to tell someone. I guess I better tell someone in particular when I get home later on.’

  ‘I think so.’ Chrissie smiled. ‘But I’m here anytime you want to talk. I’ve only been through it all once, but it’s not something I’ll forget in a hurry!’

  ‘I just might do that,’ Sarah replied. ‘You and I should get out together someday. Go to the movies for a chick flick or something, leave the boys at home with Liam.’

  ‘I’d love that.’

  ‘Consider it on my To Do List.’

  ‘I’ll put it on mine too.’ Chrissie helped her friend up. ‘Will you be okay?’

  ‘Yeah. If I need to throw up I’ll just do it in the water.’ She gestured to the harbour.

  They were about to get the children when Sarah’s phone rang. ‘I hope Gemma’s okay at the stall.’ She picked up her phone. ‘Oh, it’s Mum.’ She put the phone to her ear. ‘Hi Mum, how’s things?’ Sarah’s face turned even paler. ‘What?’ She sat back down on the wall. ‘Is he okay? What happened? Where are they taking him?’

  Dread pooled in Chrissie’s veins and her heart rate rose. Was she talking about Drew? Or Liam? Or her father? Not more bad news she had to witness…please.

  ‘I’ll be there as soon as I can. I’ll call Drew and pick him up on the way.’

  Sarah hung up and Chrissie asked, ‘What’s happened?’

  Fear creased Sarah’s face. ‘My dad. He’s had a heart attack.’

  They dashed to the stall to tell Gemma. ‘We have to go, but I need to pack things away, we can’t leave them here.’ Sarah’s voice shook with worry.

  ‘I’ll help. I can handle this if you just want to go,’ Chrissie said.

  ‘No, it won’t take too long if we all do it. Gem, you grab the stands and fold them up. Put all the day’s takings in your bag and bring it with you.’ She picked up containers to store the jewellery. ‘Pack everything in these. It doesn’t matter if they get tangled, I’ll fix them later.’

  Chrissie packed things away, and the boys grabbed all the price tags and signs and put them in a pile. A fellow stallholder came over to ask what was wrong and on telling him, he pitched in to help. In minutes the stall was packed away, and Chrissie helped carry the folded table and chairs back to Sarah’s car. Once everything was packed in, Sarah looked at Sam and bit her lip.

  ‘Do you want me to look after Sam while you’re at the hospital?’ Chrissie asked.

  ‘Could you?’

  ‘I’d be happy to. I can drop him home later or you can pick him up whenever you’re ready. No rush.’

  ‘Oh, thanks Chrissie, you’re a life saver.’ She hugged her.

  ‘Will Grandpa be okay?’ Sam asked.

  Sarah bent down to her son and kissed him on the forehead. ‘Yes, sweetie, I’m sure he’ll be fine. The doctors are taking care of him.’ She gave him a reassuring smile but it disappeared as soon as she straightened up and broke eye contact with Sam.

  Chrissie rubbed the boy’s back. ‘You can come and play at our house. We might even get a DVD, what do you say?’

  Sam nodded and grasped hold of her hand gently. Chrissie’s heart doubled over at his needy gesture. The poor boy was scared. But he’d be even more scared if he went to the hospital. Sarah and Drew needed to be there with their mother. Chrissie would have to keep it together and take care of both boys, and hope like hell that Drew and Sarah’s dad survived. She couldn’t let fear of another tragedy shake her emotions and affect her ability to take care of the kids.

  She texted her home address to Sarah’s phone and waited until she’d driven off with Gemma, her young friend having walked to her nearby home herself, then crouched to face the boys. ‘Right, let’s all have a group hug and send our good w
ishes to Sam’s grandpa.’ She stretched her arms around Sam and Kai. ‘I want you to close your eyes and imagine all the best feelings in the world, and see them flying in the air to the hospital. Can you do that?’

  They nodded.

  ‘Good. Now close your eyes and let all those good feelings enter your mind. Have you got them?’ They nodded, their faces strained in effort touching to witness. ‘Now imagine them flying, like superheroes, towards Sam’s grandpa at the hospital and surrounding him with good feelings.’

  ‘My good feelings are wearing capes,’ Kai said, and tears built up behind Chrissie’s eyes.

  ‘That’s wonderful, Kai. Now let them fly where they need to go.’ She gave them a moment. ‘Are they all there?’

  Both children nodded.

  ‘Good. Now I want you to put a big smile on your face, knowing that the good feelings are taking care of Sam’s grandpa. The bigger the smile the better.’

  Sam and Kai stretched their mouths wide, teeth gritted and gums showing.

  ‘Now open your eyes.’

  Their eyes blinked open and Sam said, ‘My good feelings flew so fast, even faster than an ambulance.’

  ‘Fantastic, Sam. Your grandpa would be proud.’

  He nodded and smiled, and Chrissie realised that, sometimes, the best way to be strong was to help someone else be strong. ‘Now, let’s go get a movie and some potato chips!’

  ‘Yes!’ Kai said, and Sam’s face lit up.

  Chrissie hoped that while the DVD and junk food did their thing keeping the boys minds off the situation, the express delivery of good feelings would do their thing and keep Geoff Williams alive.

  Chapter 21

  ‘I’ll come back first thing tomorrow,’ Drew said to his mother, after a long afternoon and evening of worry and uncertainty. ‘Will you be okay?’

  ‘Yes, I’ll be better off here than at home. You go get some sleep and I’ll see you in the morning.’ She pulled Drew in close to her. ‘I’m so glad you’re here.’

  Drew clamped his lips together as the emotions of the day overwhelmed him, and held his mother in a comforting embrace.

  ‘C’mon, let’s go get Sam,’ he said, turning to Sarah when he pulled away.

  Gemma had gone home with Liam an hour ago, and Sarah was anxious not to keep Sam up too late at Chrissie’s. Sarah hugged her mum then walked alongside Drew to the hospital exit. A couple of women stared at him and whispered to each other.

  So much for laying low.

  His dad was now considered stable, but needed to be watched closely over the next twenty-four hours or so. The doctors said that’s when another heart attack was most likely to occur, but at least this time, if it happened again, he could get immediate treatment, instead of waiting in pain for the ambulance like when he’d collapsed in the kitchen at home.

  Drew’s nerves were on high alert; he couldn’t believe this had happened. Not to his dad. Things like that happened to other people, not the strong and resilient Geoff Williams.

  They got in Sarah’s car and began the thirty minute drive from Welston to Tarrin’s Bay, when a ballad came on the radio and Sarah sniffled, her eyes becoming shiny.

  ‘I’m sure he’ll be okay,’ Drew said, placing his hand on her arm as it held onto the steering wheel.

  ‘I know. At least I hope, it’s just…’ She pulled over to the side of the road and tears spilled down her face.

  ‘Hey, it’s okay.’ He wrapped his arms around his sister.

  ‘I’m sorry, it’s just my damn hormones,’ she said, wiping her face with her hands.

  ‘Oh, in that case. Say no more,’ Drew replied. He’d learned not to question anything when it came to women and their hormones. ‘Just let me be sad and comfort me!’ an ex-girlfriend had told him once. ‘You can’t fix it!’

  ‘It’s not those types of hormones, it’s…I’m pregnant again.’

  Drew’s mouth opened wide. ‘You are?’

  She nodded. ‘So much for having days to myself with Sam at school. I’ll be back to full-time motherhood in another seven months time.’

  ‘You didn’t plan this?’

  ‘Nope. And Liam doesn’t know yet, only you and Chrissie.’

  ‘Chrissie knows? How is it that the father of your child is yet to find out? Sarah, you need to tell him as soon as you get home.’

  ‘I will, I will. It all happened so fast this morning, and then there were the markets, and then Dad, and there just wasn’t time. I’ll tell him tonight. I guess with everything that’s going on we won’t get much sleep.’

  ‘If there’s anything you need me to do, let me know. I can take care of Sam any night this week if you need me to.’

  ‘Thanks. We’ll see how Dad goes and take each day as it comes,’ Sarah sniffled. ‘I wish you could hang around town a little longer.’

  One week from now he’d be spending his last night at Serendipity, and leaving early the following Monday morning. ‘You right to drive?’ he asked as Sarah grasped the steering wheel again and took the handbrake off.

  ‘Yep. We need to get Sam. Poor Chrissie’s had him for hours. She was a godsend today, helping pack up the stall, and offering to mind Sam and give him dinner. I owe her big time.’

  ‘I’m sure she was just happy to help.’

  ‘So, her address is on Dune Road, not far past Serendipity.’

  ‘Yep, I know where it is, no need to look for the number.’

  ‘You do?’

  Oops. ‘Yeah, I was walking on the beach one day and saw her out the back. I remember her house from years ago, the nice one right on the beach.’

  ‘Ah, she’s in a great spot. I really admire her, raising Kai on her own, working full-time, and doing up the place.’

  ‘Yeah, she’s pretty special.’ After the stress of the day, Drew ached to have Chrissie’s arms around him, feel her soft, comforting skin against his.

  Sarah glanced at Drew. ‘Do you have a bit of a crush?’

  ‘A crush? What, are we still in high school or something?’ He shifted on the seat.

  ‘C’mon, you know what I mean. She’s an attractive woman and you’ve been spending a lot of time together.’ A faint smile replaced Sarah’s sad expression.

  ‘So? Yeah, she’s attractive. I meet a lot of attractive women. But I’ll be gone in a week so there’s no point discussing this, is there?’

  ‘No need to get all defensive, I was just asking.’

  Silence sat between them for a few minutes.

  Drew opened the window and let the refreshing night air wash over his face as it whooshed past. Who was he kidding? He was head over heels for the blonde beauty who called him Williams and danced with him and inspired him every day. And he had absolutely no idea what to do about it. His responsibilities lay in America. His career. His life. He’d worked hard to get to where he was. He had commitments, a busy schedule, and it was not compatible with a long distance relationship. And it wouldn’t be fair on her. She needed someone she could rely on, to be there for her, and a role model for Kai. His life didn’t fit those requirements. ‘Keep an eye on Chrissie when I’m gone,’ he said. ‘She needs a good friend around.’

  Sarah eyed him curiously. ‘Of course. I will.’

  They pulled into Chrissie’s driveway and got out of the car. Chrissie had opened the door at the side of the house before they got to it. ‘How is he?’ she asked, her face creased with concern.

  ‘He’s stable, finally.’ Sarah blew out a long exhalation.

  Chrissie put her hand over her chest. ‘Oh, I’m so glad. You must have been so worried. Come in, Sam’s been an angel.’

  ‘He has? I’m so sorry to leave him with you for so long, but — ’

  Chrissie held up her hand. ‘Don’t apologise. Nothing to it. And I’m here to help again if you need to be with your father during the week.’

  Sarah kissed her cheek and thanked her again. Chrissie’s gaze caught onto Drew’s, and he wanted to kiss her too, pull her close and relax in her arm
s for hours.

  ‘How are you?’ she asked softly.

  ‘I’m okay,’ he replied. ‘Long day.’

  ‘I bet. Can I get you both anything?’

  ‘No, but thanks. I really should get Sam home and ready for bed.’ Sarah walked through to the living room where Sam and Kai were huddled on the couch in front of a cartoon on television.

  Sam turned around. ‘Mum! Is Grandpa all better? I sent him my good feelings as fast as I could.’

  Sarah embraced her child. ‘He’s better than before, but still very sick. The doctors and nurses are taking care of him, and, I’m sure your good feelings are too.’ She ruffled his hair.

  ‘Poor Grandpa. Mrs Chrissie said I should close my eyes and think good thoughts and send them over to him with superhero capes on.’

  Sarah laughed, and a ripple of happiness rolled through Drew’s body. Yes, Chrissie certainly was something special. He stole a glance in her direction and she shrugged. She looked tired. Beautiful, but tired.

  ‘Kai, say hello to our visitors,’ Chrissie said.

  Kai peeled himself away from the television. ‘Hey, you’re the painting man.’

  ‘Kai, his name is Drew.’

  ‘Drew, the painting man,’ he said.

  ‘He’s not the painting man, he’s my uncle,’ corrected Sam.

  ‘Oh,’ Kai said. ‘Does he do painting at your house too?’

  Sam shook his head, confusion scrunching his face.

  ‘Painting man?’ Sarah asked, her gaze alternating between Chrissie and Drew.

  Drew rubbed the back of his neck. ‘Um, yeah. I helped Chrissie out with some painting yesterday.’

  Sarah’s lips twitched a little. ‘Is that right?’

  ‘Yeah, he’s been, um, very helpful,’ Chrissie said. ‘Well, Sam, it’s been a pleasure having you here. Thanks for keeping Kai entertained.’ She shook the boy’s hand, but he wrapped his arms around her waist. ‘Ohh, that’s lovely.’ She patted him on the back.

  ‘Say thanks, Sam,’ Sarah said.

  ‘I think he just did,’ Chrissie replied, Sam still attached to her lower half.

  After walking them out to the car, Drew hovered at the door.

  ‘You coming?’ asked Sarah.