Stern Desire Love Redeemed

by Leah Shay

  Chapter Five

  If curiosity could kill, I would have died a thousand times since Jared told me he wanted to talk to me. I could not help but wonder what he was going to divulge that would convince me to enter into a relationship with him. Was he capable of a complicated relationship? I could easily see how one could agree to an uncomplicated relationship with him. He was enigmatic, irresistible, charming, mesmerizing, and breathtakingly attractive. Would I break my rule and settle for less than a meaningful relationship?

  When it came to men, I had serious trust issues. Two weeks after Rob died, I got a phone call. It was from an area code that I did not recognize.

  "Is this Kyra?" the woman on the other end asked.

  "Yes, this is she."

  "My name is Ashley."

  That name sounded familiar. I remembered Rob talking to an Ashley on several occasions, but I had thought it was a guy. He was always very abrupt on those calls, promising to call back, and there was not anything about the brief conversations that caused me to think otherwise. At that moment of realization, a dark cloud came over me; Ashley was not a guy but a girl.

  "How can I help you, Ashley?"

  "I'm sorry; I heard that Rob passed, but I did not have the nerve to call."

  "And who are you?" I asked calmly.

  "I was his girlfriend and, um ... I'm pregnant with his child."

  I felt so betrayed and heartbroken. If I could have brought Rob back I would, and then I would have killed him myself.

  "How far along are you?" I asked, trying to gather more information. Anguish boiled inside of me.

  "I'm due in a month."

  "How long were you together?

  "Almost a year and a half."

  "Did you know about me?"

  "Not in the beginning. I found out about you after I was pregnant."

  "So, why are you telling me this?"

  "Because he lied to both of us, and I thought you had a right to know."

  I was not certain about her reasoning behind telling me. Rob was already gone, and now in addition to my grief I had to deal with betrayal and anger. Ashley and I spoke on several occasions, and still do sometimes. She had a boy, and there was no doubt in my mind that it was Rob's child. She moved back to the Bahamas after the baby was born to be close to her family. Nate and I vacationed in the Bahamas a few times and had seen Ashley and Nick, her son. I had gotten over any ill feelings I had toward Ashley. We were both betrayed and had learned the hard way that men could not be trusted. They were a bunch of users, manipulators, cheaters, and liars that we couldn't do without.

  .

  I was forty-five minutes early for work, another record. The elevator door opened and we piled in. As the door was about to close, a tall, designer-clad lady, who looked like she had just stepped right out of a fashion magazine, approached the elevator. The guy at the front of the elevator stuck his leg out between the closing elevator doors. It was amazing he would sacrifice a leg for this beautiful woman. She stepped in and got everybody's attention. The guys could not take their eyes off her; the women envied her. She looked very familiar. I knew this woman; but I could not identify from where. She and I were the only ones left on the elevator after everyone else got off on the fifth floor. The only lit button was for the eighth floor.

  "I'm sorry to bother you," I said to her. "But you look very familiar."

  She flipped her brunette hair over her shoulder.

  "I'm a model," she said abruptly.

  The elevator doors opened on the eighth floor, and she stepped out as if she were on the runway and approached the security desk where a guard was sitting. Before Jared Stern was a patient, there was no need for a security guard, but now we had one for the Eight North VIP.

  "Hi, Jimmy," I called to the guard, but Jimmy was fixated on the tall brunette approaching him. As I opened the glass door leading onto the unit, I heard the model say to the guard, "I'm going to Room 825."

  "What's your name?" Jimmy asked.

  "Ella Knight. He's expecting me."

  Holy shit! So, that's her.

  "What's the password?"

  "I don't have one; can you give him a call?" she said rudely.

  The sliding glass door closed behind me. I almost ran to the office. I opened the office door, dropped my bag on the desk, and yanked my Littmann stethoscope from the drawer. I had an idea, and I was not going to miss a word.

  Room 824 was an empty room under construction. It was next to Jared's room, and that's where I was heading. I made sure I was not seen as I entered Room 824, placed the stethoscope in my ears, and the diaphragm of the stethoscope against the wall right where Jared's bed would be on the opposite side.

  "Are you sure this is a good idea?" J.C. said to Jared.

  "Don't go too far," Jared said. "You might need to escort her out."

  The room door to 825 opened. "Hi, love, how are you doing?" Ella asked. "I've missed you."

  "What time did I tell you to get here?" Jared asked.

  I could hear the indifference in his voice.

  "I'm sorry, baby, but I had to pay Lolo a quick visit and get my hair done."

  "Ella, I told you it's over. Why did you insist on coming?" he said, very annoyed.

  "Because I don't believe you; you can't be serious."

  "Take your hands off me, Ella."

  "You always liked it when I did that," she said sensually. "Come on, baby; let me do this for you ... let me have some."

  "Ella, stop ... fuck."

  I wanted to stop listening, but I could not. I could hear her moaning and the weird sucking sounds. "I love how you taste."

  Then I figured it out. She was giving him a blow job. I quickly removed the stethoscope from the wall. Jealousy showed its ugly face. I was resentful and angry; and wanted him to do something to stop her. This was more than what I expected to hear. How this encounter with Ella ended would be the decision-maker for us. Was this some sick game that he played? Was I just another conquest for him? Deep down I wanted to find a reason that would make me decide against this relationship.

  Muffled voices came through the wall.

  "Ella, get off me," Jared shouted.

  I heard that without the stethoscope, and started listening again.

  "Don't I make you happy?" Ella asked.

  "Hand me the wipes," he said.

  "Please give me more," she begged.

  "Take your fucking hands off me."

  "What did I do, baby? Are you in one of your funky moods?"

  "Why did you come?" he asked rudely. "Make it easy on yourself, Ella. Just go. It's over."

  "No, you don't mean it," she said, sounding confused.

  "Should I call J.C. to drag you out of here, or are you going to leave quietly?"

  "What am I going to do?" she cried. "It's been four years, Jared. Please, baby ... please don't. I can't ... I won't go on without you."

  "You will."

  "I'll die, Jared ... I prefer to die than live without you," she cried.

  "This is not going to work, Ella," he shouted at her.

  "I mean it, Jared," she threatened.

  "Do what you fucking want to do. It's over."

  "You don't mean it," she cried. "I'll do anything ... anything. You know I'll do anything for you. Just say it and I'll do it."

  "Leave," he said, in a very dark tone.

  "Is there someone else?"

  "Ella, I want more than what we had; and I'm sorry but it's not going to be with you."

  "More!" she said scornfully. "After all that you made me give, made me do. I wanted to get married, have your kids. I've always wanted more ... wanted to give you more, but all you did was treat me like a fucking toy."

  After a brief pause Ella added, "Isn't it obvious how much I love you?"

  "Ella ... Ella," he said calmly.

  "I love you, Jared ... I can't survive without you. Please don't do this."

  "I'm sorry, Ella, but I can't do this anymore. I don't love you the way y
ou want to be loved."

  "I don't care; just don't leave me. I'm on my knees begging ... please," Ella sobbed.

  "You can keep everything - the condo, the cars, the jewelry. Just remember you can never breathe a word of anything that went on in our relationship," he said. The strange, dark overtone in his voice made me wonder what went on in their relationship.

  "I ... I won't say anything," she stammered.

  "Just a reminder."

  Some reminder.

  "Answer this, Jared," Ella said bitterly. "Do you think anyone will ever know you like I do, the real Jared Stern? Can you take her to The Pad? Are you going to tell her about your preferences? Do you think she will do the things I did for you ... the things you let me do? Are you going to show her the real you because if you do ... "

  "Ella, stop!" he interrupted her ranting. "Now get the fuck out."

  "You'll regret this, Jared."

  "Are you threatening me?"

  "I won't live without you."

  "J.C., get her out of here."

  Almost instantly the door opened.

  "Let's go," J.C. said.

  "Don't fucking touch me!" Ella shouted at J.C.

  The door opened. I looked out the small glass window in the door of Room 824. Ella was standing outside Room 825. She ran her fingers through her hair, used her hands to wipe tears from her face. She removed oversized glasses from a very expensive Hermes crocodile handbag, put them on, and hurried down the hallway. I went back to my listening position and heard Jared telling J.C. to call security and deny Ella any further access.

  "Henry, Jared here." He was on his phone. "I need you to pick up Ella. I think she's a danger to herself."

  Who is Henry? Please give me an inkling.

  "I broke up with her, and I don't think she's in a good place right now. She threatened to kill herself. I'll call with her location. She's just leaving the hospital."

  He was talking to J.C. now, telling him to track Ella and let Henry know where she was.

  What a controlling freak. He could track her! I looked at my watch. I had to go get report. I was looking for answers, but all I got were even more disturbing questions. I wondered who the real Jared would turn out to be. Jared was a multifaceted guy, but what was he hiding? And would I ever know the real Jared Stern?

  At the nurses station, everyone was talking and asking questions about the brunette who visited Room 825. I took report, rounded on all the patients on the floor, purposely making Room 825 my last room to visit. J.C. was in the sitting area on a computer and was talking to someone on the phone. I knocked on the door, but there was no answer. I opened the door and peeked in. Jared had his headset on and his eyes were closed. He looked very pensive. I updated the board in his room with the names of those who would be taking care of him that night. When I was finished, I turned around, only to find him watching me, still looking pensive.

  "Sorry to disturb you," I said.

  "I didn't hear you, but I sensed that you were here."

  "How are you?"

  "I'm okay," he said, but it was not convincing.

  His phone rang, and I turned to leave.

  "Hold on, Kyra."

  He answered the phone. "Henry."

  "Como esta ella?"

  How is she?

  I wish I could have heard the other side of the conversation. Jared listened on the phone, but his eyes were fixed on me. I was beginning to feel uncomfortable.

  "Que mal? Guardeme informado."

  That bad? Keep me posted.

  He placed his phone on the bed.

  "You look very rested." I considered adding preoccupied, but decided not to.

  "Thank you. Remember, you drugged me."

  "I did no such thing. You asked for the medication." I smiled.

  "After you drugged me."

  "Are you going to report me?"

  "Depends."

  "On what?"

  "Give me your hand," he requested.

  "Why?" I said hesitantly, slowly walking toward him. I was weary of his actions, and unprepared for his touch. I hated the way he made me feel incapacitated and powerless.

  "Get over here and give me your hand, please." His outstretched hand beckoned me over.

  I stretched my hand out to him timidly anticipating his touch, my heart pounding in my chest. He took my hand and placed it against his cheek; he closed his eyes. Slowly, the worrisome look on his face dissipated. He turned his head and kissed the palm of my hand. My knees felt weak and I closed my eyes and fought the urge to melt in his arms. That warm feeling overcame me. I opened my eyes.

  "Kiss me, Kyra," Jared said softly.

  "No," I said, fighting the urge. I remembered Ella's comments and that quickly brought me back to reality. I gently caressed his cheek with my hand. "I'll see you later," I said, and left.

  The nurse from the recovery room brought a patient up to the floor; we had some problems waking him up earlier. For the next two hours, we were busy getting orders from the doctor and monitoring the patient closely. I checked to see if the cultures I did on Jared had returned, even though I knew it would take at least twenty-four hours. His vitals were fine. His fever was gone, but he was still on intravenous antibiotics. I could only hope there would be no more complications.

  .

  Jared's and J.C.'s eyes were fixed on the television screen so intently, I doubted they were aware I was in the room. On the television screen were two individuals dressed in ancient samurai suits fighting each other with sticks.

  "Just a minute, Kyra," Jared said, not taking his eyes off the screen.

  "This is where I thought I had you," J.C. said, pointing toward the television screen.

  So underneath all that costuming were Jared and J.C.; the only part of their bodies that was left exposed was their feet. I thought I was watching something out of a classic Japanese movie. They were wearing unusual looking wide leg pants, jackets, grilled helmets on their heads, and chest plates. Jared was in all white and J.C. was dressed in black and white. They were fighting each other with wooden swords, and were actually striking each other pretty hard. Each strike made a loud snapping sound.

  "This is where you screwed up," Jared pointed out.

  There were moving so fast, and as J.C. was about to deliver a strike to Jared's head, Jared struck him in the chest and delivered another blow to his neck. The snapping sounds and the close-up view of the strikes startled me. J.C. took a few steps back. They bowed to each other, and then ripped the helmets from their heads. Jared ejected the DVD. J.C. removed it from the player and disappeared from the room.

  "What was all that?" I asked Jared.

  "That is called Kendo, a martial art form based on Japanese sword fighting," he explained.

  "What kind of protective gear do you wear?" I was curious. Those strikes looked rather extreme.

  "The protective armor is called a bogu and it protects the head, upper body, hands and groin."

  "Okay, ready for your pin care?"

  "Ready when you are."

  I did the pin care and the site that I was concerned about had improved somewhat.

  "Truth or dare?" I asked.

  "Truth," he answered without hesitation.

  "Jared, you are a very complex man, a man filled with secrets."

  "How do you know that?" he asked quizzically.

  "I can tell," I said confidently.

  I put the final sponge on the pin and secured it. "What I would like to know is will I ever get to truly know you."

  "Can you ever really know somebody? Sometimes no matter how long you live with them or think you know someone, there is always something that can surface that you've never known."

  That one I can painfully attest to.

  "So, that's a no."

  "I'm not saying no, Kyra. I don't want there to be any secrets between us, but it will take some time for me to tell you certain things about myself."

  "Certain things?"

  "Things that are difficul
t for me to talk about."

  "Something that you need to know about me is that I have serious trust issues when it comes to men. I've only been in one relationship all my life, from which I have the most amazing son. Also, when it comes to relationships, uncomplicated or not, I haven't had one in eight years. So, if I'm a bit wary about entering into a relationship right now, it's because I'm seriously scared of getting hurt, especially when things are going so fast, and it seems you have so much to hide."

  "Do you have secrets, Kyra?"

  "I live a very simple, uncomplicated life, Jared. I can tell you everything you need to know about me in less than an hour. And I've just told you about the last ten years of my life."

  "Do you want to give this a try, Kyra?"

  "I don't know, Jared; this is way too fast for me. You know how I feel about this patient-nurse situation."

  "Can you honestly tell me that you don't have any feelings for me? Because I have not felt the way I feel about you in six years." He took my hand in his and I gently pulled it away from him.

  If we were going to have this conversation right now, I did not want his touch or his look clouding my judgment. I focused on the ground, refusing to look in his eyes.

  "Are you willing to give us a try?"

  "I can't make that decision right now," I said, but my mind, soul, and body were screaming yes.

  "Look at me, Kyra."

  "I can't."

  His fingers grazed my chin and I closed my eyes. He lifted my head.

  "Open your eyes, Kyra," Jared said. His cool, mellow voice sweetly commanded me.

  I slowly opened my eyes. Scared to look at him because of the debilitating effects his mesmeric eyes had on me. He was smiling his beautiful, dazzling smile. The vibrant, orange-reddish color of his hazel eyes were transformed into a warm, inviting cognac color with golden rays.

  Oh Lord, please help me. I can't resist this man. I am powerless.

  "Please, Kyra ... we'll take it slow; there's no rush."

  "Well, let's wait until you are discharged."

  "Can you wait until then? We don't know when I'll be out of here. Can you handle it?" He stroked my cheek with his knuckles.

  "Even if I say yes, what do you think will happen, Jared? You think I'm going to jump into bed with you? If that's what you think, you have the wrong girl."