A grin appeared on his face at that thought.
Maddie sat down at the kitchen island and ate a bowl of cereal while Clay made half a pot of coffee. He saw a notepad on the counter and picked it up along with a pen.
“Should we make a list?” he asked Maddie.
“Cereal, milk, bananas, apples, bread, butter, eggs, and whatever else you’re going to need to make dinner some nights,” she said matter-of-factly. “Snacks, Kleenex, toilet paper, paper towels. You need to look around to see if we’re out of other stuff.”
Clay wrote quickly to try to keep up. Dinner? He didn’t even know what the girls liked anymore. And other stuff? What other stuff would the girls need? Jess had always taken care of those things when they were together. Living alone these past two years had put Clay out of practice. Taking care of himself was very different from taking care of two young girls. He knew he’d better learn fast.
“Daddy? Can you put my hair in a ponytail?” Jilly came into the kitchen with a brush and a hair band and looked up at him hopefully.
Maddie rolled her eyes. “Of course he can’t,” she said. “Come here. I’ll do it.”
A disappointed look crossed Jilly’s face, but she turned toward her sister.
“Wait. I can do it,” Clay said. “Come over here, sweetie.”
“Oh boy. This should be good,” Maddie said under her breath.
Jilly walked over to Clay and turned so he could work on her hair. He wrapped the band around his wrist and began carefully brushing her silky hair.
“How high?” he asked.
She pointed to halfway up the back of her head. He easily brushed it up and slipped the band around it several times. “Ta-da! There you go, Jilly-bear.”
She turned around and rewarded him with a big smile, then ran out of the room.
“Where’d you learn to do that?” Maddie asked, looking perturbed.
“I used to brush your hair all the time, don’t you remember? I did ponytails, braids, and headbands. For a while, when you were about six years old, I was the only person you’d let brush your hair.”
Maddie’s eyes locked onto him. “And then you left.” She walked over and put her bowl in the sink, then left the kitchen.
Clay was blindsided by this and not sure how to respond. Maddie was right—he’d gone to rehab for the first time when she was six. When he came home, it took a little time to get back into her good graces. He’d missed her first piano lesson and the family picnic on the last day of school. He had disappointed her, and it had torn his heart out knowing that. But she forgave him eventually, and they’d been close again. Until the next time he left.
Maddie had lived with a lot of disappointment, all because of him. He’d just have to gain her trust again.
His cell phone rang as he was loading the dishwasher. It was Officer Brinkley, returning his call.
“I’m sorry I didn’t get back to you yesterday,” the officer said. “I had a long shift.”
“That’s fine. Thank you for calling. I was wondering about the details of my wife’s accident. Jess Connors?”
“Yes. I was the first officer on the scene. We don’t have too much information since we haven’t been able to speak with your wife. The road was wet that day, and there were no skid marks to indicate she’d hit the brakes. The best we can figure is she swerved to avoid something, and the wet pavement sent the car into a spin and roll.”
“There weren’t any other cars around? Or witnesses?” Clay asked.
“None that we’ve been able to find. Unfortunately, the air bags didn’t deploy. Her head trauma may be the result of that. Other than that, there’s not much to tell. Did you need information for your insurance claim?” Officer Brinkley asked.
Clay hadn’t even thought about insurance yet. “I suppose I’ll need a report. I’ll check with our insurance company. Do you know where the car is now?”
“It’s at the impound. You can go look at it and let them know what you want done. It was a total loss. I’m sure an insurance adjuster will want to see it too.”
“Thank you for your help, Officer,” Clay said.
“You’re welcome. How is your wife doing?”
“She’s still unconscious. We’re hoping she’ll wake up soon.”
“I’m sorry to hear that,” Officer Brinkley said sincerely. “I’m always in awe of how quickly things can change. One wrong turn of the wheel can alter everything. I hope she’ll be okay.”
After he hung up, Clay thought about what the officer said. He was right; one minute things can be perfect, the next, disaster.
For a recovering alcoholic like him, one wrong choice could change everything. That one sip of beer, that one drink he was sure he could handle. But then one turned into many. One wrong turn. One wrong choice. He understood the devastation that one moment could cause.
Sighing, he turned his thoughts to all he had to do. Luckily, he and Jess still had their insurance together, so he could file the claim for her. That way she would have money for a new car when she woke up.
He was thankful the girls hadn’t been in the car during the accident. If anything had happened to all three of them, he wouldn’t have been able to deal with that. Jess being in a coma was devastating enough.
He and the girls spent the morning and afternoon sitting with Jess again, but there was no change. Her bruises were shifting in color from the dark purple they were at first to a lighter green as they healed. The cuts on her face and arms were slowly healing. But she continued to sleep, unaware that her family was there. Jilly talked to her mom, but Maddie continued her silence. Clay figured she was still stewing about their morning conversation, so he gave her some space.
In the late afternoon, they said good-bye to Jess and headed to the grocery store nearest their house to load up on supplies. He let the girls buy whatever they wanted. He knew some of their cereal and snack choices weren’t healthy, but he would cut them some slack this one time. Their mother was lying in a hospital; a little junk food wasn’t going to hurt them.
He made grilled cheese sandwiches and soup for dinner, and afterward Jilly helped him load the dishwasher while Maddie sat at the counter, glancing through a magazine that had come in the mail. It seemed like the idyllic family evening, except Jess wasn’t there, leaving them to feel the weight of her absence.
The girls went upstairs, and Clay felt lost. Night had rolled in along with the evening fog, and it was cold and damp outside. He wandered into the living room and spied his guitar case where he’d left it that first night. Pulling the instrument out, he sat on the desk chair. Clay owned several guitars, but this acoustic one was his oldest and favorite. His years of playing had left the wood scratched and worn, but the sound that came from this guitar was as rich as the first day he’d strummed the strings.
After picking and tuning a few strings, he began playing the song that had been teasing his mind all day. It was a sweet love song, one he’d played often and that held his heartstrings.
Jilly walked in so quietly that it startled Clay when he opened his eyes and saw her standing there staring at him.
“Hey, Jilly-bear. I thought you were upstairs.”
“What was that song? It was so pretty,” she said.
He smiled. “That was your mom’s favorite song. It’s the one that we had our first dance to at our wedding. It’s called ‘Colour My World.’”
“Can you keep playing it?”
“Sure.”
Clay began the song again, picking out the tune. After the intro, he started singing in his deep, smooth voice. “As time goes on, I realize, just what you mean, to me.”
As he sang, Clay remembered the day he and Jess had married, how beautiful she’d looked and how happy he’d been. Tears formed in his eyes, and as he finished, he had to swipe them away with the sleeve of his shirt.
“I thought that song made you happy,” Jilly said, looking upset by his tears.
“It does,” he assured her. “Sometimes som
ething can make you feel so happy that it makes you cry.”
“It’s pretty. I like it,” she declared.
“I’m glad you do,” he said. “It’s meant to be played on the piano, though. Then it’s really pretty.”
“Play something else. Please?” Jilly asked.
He played a little of “Stairway to Heaven” and “Peaceful Easy Feeling.” He loved how Jilly’s blue eyes twinkled as he played. They reminded him so much of Jess’s, and it warmed his heart to think that they had created this amazing child.
“What kind of music do you like?” Clay asked after he finished playing.
She shrugged. “I like Taylor Swift, and there are a few songs my friends play that I like, but I don’t know who sings them.”
“I bet you didn’t know I met Taylor Swift once,” he said with a grin.
Jilly’s eyes grew wide. “Really? How?”
“My band played as her warm-up band at her concert in LA. We were a last-minute replacement for her usual warm-up band. I met her backstage. She was really nice.”
“Wow. That is so cool,” Jilly said.
Clay looked at the clock and saw it was after nine. “We should get you to bed. I don’t want you to be tired tomorrow.”
She looked disappointed but nodded, and they walked to the staircase. They both glanced up and saw Maddie sitting on the first landing, daydreaming.
“Hey, Maddie. Why didn’t you join us?” Clay asked.
She looked startled when she saw them standing there. Acting as if she’d been caught doing something wrong, she stood quickly and fled up the stairs.
“Maddie? Maddie!” Clay called after her, but a moment later he heard her bedroom door shut.
“I think she was spying on us,” Jilly whispered conspiratorially.
He bent down to her level. “I think you’re right,” he whispered back.
She giggled, and Clay laughed along. As they headed up the stairs, Clay couldn’t help but grin. Maddie had been interested enough in what they were doing to sit on the landing and listen. Maybe next time he could persuade her to join in. That would be nice.
Over the next few days, nothing changed. Jess continued to sleep as they sat there watching her for any signs of movement. Maddie’s hostility toward Clay hadn’t changed, either. No matter what he did, it was wrong. Maddie only answered him with single syllables and always looked mad when Jilly paid attention to him. It was all so frustrating, but he used every bit of his patience to ignore her anger. He thought that if he proved he was there to stay, she might soften toward him. At least, he hoped so.
On Sunday evening, as they ate pizza and salad for dinner, he brought up the subject of school.
“I think you both should return to school this week,” he said. “If you miss much more, it will be harder to catch up, even with the work Eileen has brought you. I promise we’ll visit your mother every day after school.”
Maddie’s eyes darted up and she glared at him. “I don’t want to go to school. I want to be with Mom. What if she wakes up and no one is there? She’ll think we don’t care.”
“Sweetie, I’m sure your mom would want you to go back to your usual routine. She’ll understand if we’re not there if she wakes up. I’m sure of it,” he said gently.
Maddie stood up. “What would you know? You don’t know how Mom feels. And what do you mean, if she wakes up? She’s going to wake up. She has to!”
He regretted his word choice. “Maddie, honey, please calm down. I didn’t mean it that way. I meant when she wakes up. Of course she’s going to. I just want you both to have more to do than sit and worry about your mom every day.”
“You don’t care what we think at all!” Maddie screamed. “That’s why you never came back. And now you want to act like you’re our dad again. I hate that you came back, and I hate that you think you can tell us what to do!” She ran out of the room and up the stairs. Clay heard her bedroom door slam closed.
Clay rubbed his hand over his face, trying to remain calm. His heart was pounding, and his nerves were on edge. He didn’t know how much more of Maddie’s angry outbursts he could take. When he looked up, he saw Jilly staring at him.
“Sorry, Jilly-bear. I hope you aren’t mad at me too.”
Jilly stood up and walked over to her father. She reached up to him, and Clay thankfully drew her into a hug.
“Don’t worry, Dad. Maddie is just like that. Mom says it’s because she’s almost a teenager.”
He chuckled, surprising himself. “I guess you’re right.”
“I don’t mind going to school tomorrow. I’ll still think about Mom, but I know she’ll understand.”
Pulling Jilly close again, he kissed her cheek. “Thanks, sweetie. I don’t know what I’d do if you were angry with me too.”
Jilly looked up at him. “I missed swimming practice last week. I have it on Monday nights. Can you take me tomorrow night?”
“Of course. I didn’t know that you were a swimmer. Are you part of a team?” Clay asked.
Jilly nodded her head. “I’ve been swimming with the Dolphin team for two years. When I’m ten, I can move up to Sharks. We have two swim meets a year, but when I get older I can go to more.”
“Wow, that’s great. I can’t wait to see you swim.”
Jilly went upstairs to finish her schoolwork, and Clay cleaned up the dinner dishes. After that, he called Eileen. He wasn’t sure about the girls’ school schedules and figured she’d know.
“How are things going with the girls?” Eileen asked.
“Okay. Jilly’s a sweetheart. Maddie is still angry. But we’re hanging in there,” Clay told her.
“Maddie’s emotions are probably running all over the place. I have a twelve-year-old girl too. She and Maddie are best friends. So I know how emotional they can be. And this isn’t an easy time for Maddie, either. Can I give you some advice?”
“Sure. I need all the help I can get,” he said.
“Don’t let her run all over you just because you’re all having a rough time. She still needs structure and limits. She’ll respect you more as a parent if you lay out your expectations for behavior, no matter how mad she is.”
“Yeah. I’ve been giving her some slack because of Jess’s condition, but I think you’re right. I need to talk to her.”
“Jess was really good about that. She’s much more easygoing about rules than I am, believe it or not,” Eileen chuckled. “But she is tough with them when she has to be. I admire her parenting skills. She’s a good mother.”
“I know. Jess is amazing,” Clay said, thankful for Eileen’s kind words.
Eileen offered to drive the girls to and from school for the time being so that he could spend mornings at the hospital. Clay accepted her offer, relieved that he’d have that time with Jess.
“Thanks, Eileen. You’re a lifesaver.”
“I’m happy to help. And if you plan on going to the AA meeting on Wednesday, let me know and the girls can eat with us again.”
“I’ll be going for sure, so thank you.” He knew he had to keep up with his meetings during this difficult time or else he’d be a wreck. After he hung up the phone, he felt a little better about the upcoming week. But now came the difficult part—having a talk with Maddie.
CHAPTER EIGHT
Clay knocked on Maddie’s bedroom door and waited. From his side he heard music playing—some nondescript pop song—and a television show on low. Jilly came to the door and smiled up at him sweetly.
“Can I talk to your sister alone a moment?” he asked her.
“Okay.” Jilly went to watch television in the other room.
Clay glanced inside the bedroom and saw Maddie sitting on her bed, a book in her lap, ignoring him. He took a deep breath, released it, then entered the room.
“Madds. I’d like to talk to you a moment.” He walked over and sat down on Jilly’s twin bed, only a couple of feet away from Maddie.
Maddie continued staring at her book.
“Maddie. Look at me.” When she still didn’t, Clay picked up the stereo remote from the nightstand and shut off the music.
“Hey!” she said, glaring at him.
“Good. Now we can talk.”
“So talk, then,” Maddie said, crossing her arms.
“Listen, sweetie. I get it. You’re angry with me and upset about your mom. But we’re all in this together. Me, you, and Jilly. So, if you’d just be even a little cooperative, I’d really appreciate it,” he said.
“Why? So it’ll make your life easier?” she asked.
Clay was taken aback by her question. He should have known she would be difficult. “Yeah, it would. But it would also make things easier on all of us. Your constant anger and fighting isn’t solving anything; it’s only making things more difficult.”
“Fine.”
“Maddie . . .”
“I said fine, okay?” she snapped.
Running his hand behind his neck, he closed his eyes a moment to regain his composure. When he finally opened them, he said sternly, “No, it’s not okay. You have a right to be mad at me. I left, and I didn’t come back for two years. Fine. Yell at me about that. Tell me all the reasons you hate me for that. Believe me, you won’t be telling me anything I haven’t already told myself over and over again. I’m sorry I didn’t come back, Maddie. I never meant not to come back to all of you. But it happened that way, and I have to live with the guilt of it for the rest of my life.”
He stopped and saw that Maddie was hugging herself tightly with her crossed arms. He could see she was holding back tears.
In a gentler voice, he said, “Madds. I’m sorry I disappointed you, but I’m here now, and I’m not leaving. I don’t expect you to forgive me right away, or maybe never. But please, can we just get along enough to get through this? Despite what you think, I love you and your sister and your mom so very much. It might take me a lifetime to prove it to you, and I’m willing to try for as long as it takes. But you have to give in a little too. You don’t have to like me, but will you please talk to me politely like you would any other adult and try to drop the attitude at least some of the time?”
One Wrong Turn: A Novel Page 7