A Second Chance at Love

by Max Hudson

  I don’t know why he never came after me. I was an easy target. Maybe I was just lucky, but even being in the same room with him gave me the creeps. I took my drink and made my way back to Daniel. The irony of running to Daniel for safety was not lost on me.

  “Hey, you see that guy over there?” I pointed in Donovan’s direction. “Doesn’t he look like Donovan Murphy, from high school?”

  Daniel looked and then shook his head.

  “I don’t see him.”

  “He’s…” I scanned the crowd again. The Donovan look-alike was gone. “Well, he WAS over there. But, I might have just imagined it.”

  “Didn’t he die in a prison fight?”

  “That’s what I heard, but…” I shrugged my shoulders. “How much longer before we can go?”

  “Tired?”

  “For some reason, I didn’t get much sleep last night,” I said softly.

  “It must be something in the water. I had the exact same problem,” he rubbed his knuckles against the back of my hand and gave me another one of those smitten looks. My heart beat a little faster as I realized Daniel Mann had a serious crush on ME! Somewhere deep inside the thirteen-year-old me did a dance for joy even as my older, wiser self-kept reminding me to be cautious.

  “I need to use the bathroom.” I handed my drink to Daniel and headed toward the toilets. I needed to take a leak and splash some cold water on my face. The last twenty-four hours felt like a dream, and I needed to wake up.

  But as the cold water hit my skin, it only confirmed the truth. I was really here, with Daniel, who seemed to be falling for me. ME!!

  “I thought that was you,” said a gruff voice. I looked up at my reflection and saw Donovan Murphy standing behind me.

  “Do I know you?” I decided playing dumb was the best way to go.

  “Come on, Mischa. You remember me. We went to high school together! I saw you walk in with Dan.”

  I took a harder look at the man behind me. It was definitely Donovan but he looked older, harder, meaner than I expected. It was clear that time had not been kind to him. His clothes were ill-fitting and he had an air of desperation as if what he wanted most was to be recognized and it hadn’t happened yet.

  “Oh, Donovan,” I turned to face him, hoping that this would end with a quick bit of banter.

  “Yeah, it’s me! Jesus, you look just the same,” he said, looking me up and down. “Well, not just the same. The hair is better, and you finally grew a few muscles, huh? Good for you.”

  “Thanks, man.”

  “So I see you two finally got together. I knew he was sweet on you!” Donovan clapped his hands and let out a hacking laugh that displayed his pearly white teeth and inflamed gums.

  “Excuse me?”

  “Yeah, Daniel. Man, he tried to deny it back in high school but I knew it. He was fucking sweet on you then,” the look in his eyes was crazed, almost maniacal, and he grew more intense as he spoke. “I mean, you know his dad was a dickhead so there was no way he could come at you for real, but I knew it. I saw him watching you, trying to keep guys like me off your ass.”

  I smiled, “I guess I’ll have to thank him for that one day.”

  “Oooh hooo hooo hoo, somebody’s in trouble,” Donovan’s high-pitched laugh sent chills up my spine. He was clearly on drugs and there was no way for me to know how much of the violent, unpredictable boy he had been was still present in the man he was now.

  “I gotta get out there and find him,” I said, stepping to the side. He stepped with me moving forward a little. He clearly wasn’t ready to end this conversation.

  “You don’t have to be like that with me now. I mean, we’re all grownups here, right? Why don’t we get out of here? Let Danny Boy finish kissing ass and signing autographs.”

  I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. Was this idiot seriously trying to hit on me? In a men’s room? There was a hint of jealousy in his voice and a sea of uncharged aggression swimming behind his eyes. I wasn’t too sure how safe I was, alone in the men’s room, but I knew I would be in more danger if I was foolish enough to follow him out.

  “We’re all grown up, but Daniel is my boyfriend, and I love him very much, so…”

  “Aw come on, you’re not going to let him keep chasing good men away are you? Shit! Ten years and he’s still cock blocking,” he grabbed his crotch so hard that it made tears well up in my eyes.

  Donovan’s sudden anger scared and confused me. Had Daniel been keeping other guys away from me all those years? Was he the reason why I never went on dates in high school? Watching Donovan’s face twist into a mask of fury, I wasn’t sure if I should thank him or kick him.

  “It was nice running into you again,” I said, inching my way to the door again. This time Donovan seemed too consumed with his anger at being thwarted to care if his prey escaped or not. As I got to the door, it swung open and, like a knight on horseback, Daniel walked in.

  “Hey, what’s taking you so long?”

  “I ran into somebody,” I said, hooking my thumb over my shoulder. Daniel looked up and saw Donovan and his mouth dropped open. After several seconds he closed it and his face became a dark mask of malice. It was like watching storm clouds cover the sun. I even felt a cold chill. Daniel took two steps, effectively placing his body between Donovan and myself. He rolled his shoulders and stood tall, making a primal display of his physical superiority. It was fucking hot.

  “Donovan.” He said the name as if it were a warning.

  “Dan the Man!” Despite the smile on his face, it was clear that Donovan was testing the waters. He also stood a little taller, though it wasn’t as impressive as Daniel. Still, he wasn’t somebody who could be easily pushed around and he wanted us to know it.

  “Oh great, we all know each other,” I said, rolling my eyes. “Seriously boys, we’re all old friends here, right?”

  “I always knew you wanted that ass all to yourself!” Donovan let out a squeaky laugh.

  “Something like that.”

  “Something like that,” Donovan echoed. “Something like your dad woulda kicked your head in if he caught you two together.” Donovan turned his attention to me and I fought the urge to hide behind Daniel.

  “His dad and my dad were assholes cut from the same cloth. They liked to fight, and nothing got them as mad as the idea of their sons being a couple of queers.” Donovan’s crazy eyes looked moist with some hidden emotion, which made me even more upset. They say, hurt people, hurt people. I was learning slowly that was more than just a cute slogan from a twelve-step program. Donovan was obviously hurting, but I was too exhausted to give it any more of my time. I was ready to go.

  “I’m not my dad, and neither are you, man. Let that shit go. And stay away from Mischa.”

  Donovan’s body jerked and he gave us a saccharine smile.

  “Just like old times, huh? Leave my Mischa alone. That’s what he would say. Mischa is mine, leave him alone. See this,” he showed me a tooth that was two different shades of beige. “He fucking broke my tooth when I told him to fuck off.”

  Donovan stumbled forward a little and I felt Daniel’s body tense. It was clear that he was ready to attack.

  “I’m tired, let’s go home,” I said softly, pulling on Daniel’s shirt. It was pretty clear that Donovan was not a real threat to anybody but himself this evening. He followed obediently, saying nothing. The ride home was tense. He didn’t speak and I was busy trying to put together the jigsaw puzzle portrait of the man I thought I knew so well.

  Chapter Fourteen

  “So, when did I become your Mischa?” I put a plate full of reheated leftovers in front of Daniel before taking my seat next to him.

  He exhaled loudly and rubbed his hands together before speaking.

  “When I saw him looking at you the way he looked at Andy.”

  “Andy?”

  “Remember when everybody was talking about how he tortured some kid after school.”

  I nodded.

  “An
drew Williams; Andy. He didn’t go to school with us for long, so you might not remember him.”

  I knew I didn’t really want to know the answer but I asked the question anyway.

  “What happened?”

  “I don’t know. I do know that Donovan and Andy didn’t have a simple relationship. They did a good job of hiding it, but if you know what to look for...I heard Donovan’s dad caught them together and kicked the shit out of Donovan. I saw the bruises myself, so…there’s no reason for me not to believe that part.”

  He looked haunted by the memory, his eyes were unfocused, as if he were observing something that only he could see. I put my hand on his arm and patted it gently.

  “So he was going to make me his new Andy.”

  “I don’t know. I don’t want to accuse him of anything since I don’t have all the facts. I just know that I saw the way he looked at you and it made my heart stop.”

  “So you threatened him and broke his teeth?”

  “No,” he turned to me and rested a heavy hand on my knee. “I bullied you. I chased you away from everywhere I knew he would be. I wanted to explain but I never got the chance. Then you got cagey and guarded and learned how to make yourself scarce. I figured, it was better that way, so I stopped trying.”

  I searched his face for any sign of doubt but as usual, he was telling the truth; or at least the truth as he saw it.

  “Why?”

  “Because I couldn’t let anybody know. I didn’t want you to end up like Andy, and I didn’t want anybody to know. It was dumb and immature, but I can’t even say that I really regret it because it worked.”

  I took a deep breath and tried to remain calm.

  “How did his teeth get broken.”

  “He was on to me after a while. He’s always been an asshole, and he was going to try and press his advantage. I couldn’t let that happen. So we fought about it and he ended up eating a brick.”

  “You hit him in the face with a brick?”

  “We got into a fight,” he grunted.

  “Over me?”

  “Yes and no. It was complicated. He was picking a fight and when I wouldn’t take the bait, he brought you into it.” He looked so tortured by the memory that I couldn’t help but laugh.

  “And then you hit him in the face?”

  “You’re enjoying this aren’t you?” A small smile crept across his face.

  “HELL YEAH! I wish I could’ve seen that shit. Two hot guys fighting over me. Do you know how legendary that would’ve been?”

  “It wasn’t about you. Not really. I mean, it was and it wasn’t,” he stammered.

  “Yeah, don’t try and walk it back now, buddy. He was talking shit about your secret crush and you got mad and hit him. I can appreciate that. I just wish I’d known about it sooner.”

  “Faedra never told you?”

  “Faedra knew?”

  “She was there when it happened. Her and that idiot who dumped her after Homecoming,” Daniel bowed his head for a moment and then took the first bite of a biscuit I’d tossed on top of the pile of food on his plate.

  “That bitch,” I hissed. “All these years she’s been holding out on me.”

  “She probably just wanted to protect you,” Daniel said with his mouth full.

  “That seems to be an epidemic,” I groaned.

  “We love you and we don’t want you to get hurt,” he grunted.

  “You love me?” I was joking, but the way he stopped eating and folded his hands together told me that he was not.

  “Yeah, I think I do.”

  “Oh,” I didn’t know what to say to that. I didn’t want to promise him something that I couldn’t give. I didn’t want to tell him that I was more invested than I really was. I began trying to think of excuses to make the evening end early.

  “You don’t have to freak out. You don’t have to love me back. You used to love me, right? If you can be patient so can I. I can wait until you sort it all out for yourself.” He returned his attention to his plate, not waiting for me to say anything else.

  “I just wish you guys would stop trying to protect me from everything you think will hurt me.”

  “You said it yourself, you aren’t built for heartbreak.”

  I grumbled and worked on polishing off my plate. I didn’t want to be treated as if I was fragile, but it was nice to know that the people who loved me were looking out for me.

  After mulling it over for a while I turned to Daniel and said, “I wish you wouldn’t do that anymore.”

  “Do what?”

  “Don’t protect me from things that might hurt my feelings. I’m a big boy. If you can get in touch with your emotions or whatever you did, I can learn to take a few hits, too.”

  He smiled and ran a hand through my hair like I was a kid getting worked up over nothing. The sad part was that I liked it.

  “I promise to always tell you the truth,” he said.

  “You better. Now, if you’ll excuse me,” I got up from the table. “I have to call my best friend and tell her what a horrible bitch she is for keeping secrets from me.”

  I went into the bedroom and stared at my phone for three solid minutes before I got the nerve to call Faedra. She hadn’t called me back after her “talk” with Roman and I’d been so caught up in the little sex cocoon I’d built with Daniel that I hadn’t reached out to see how it went. I was being a shitty friend again.

  As soon as the line connected, I started talking, not giving her the chance to cuss me out.

  “Officer Mischa Vee, reporting for best friend duty.”

  “Mischa,” she sounded tired.

  “Are you okay? I know you said you’d call me back after you worked things out with Roman and I should’ve called you when you didn’t call me but I was busy having really great sex with the asshole.”

  “Wow,” she said.

  “So? How did it go?” I was cringing, waiting for her to lay into me like a stack of pancakes on a cheat day.

  “Fine, I guess.”

  “You guess?”

  “I mean, it’s a thing. We have a thing. We’re good together and we like each other, it’s just that he wants certain things and I’m not sure I want those things.”

  “He said yeah let’s make it official and you got cold feet,” I surmised.

  “Not really.”

  “Okay, then what really happened?”

  She sighed and gave a dramatic pause before she began.

  “He wants to get married and I’m not sure I’m ready for that.”

  “He popped the question?” I sounded way more excited about the idea than she did.

  “He made an argument. He thinks that since we are in business together it is too much of a risk for us to date for an extended period of time. If we break up and it gets ugly it will damage the business. So…”

  “So if you move forward you should do so with marriage in mind,” I said. It sounded like something Roman would say.

  “Exactly.”

  “He sure knows how to ruin a romantic moment.”

  “I know,” she said, sounding more depressed.

  “Let me ask you something? If he hadn’t ruined it with his logic and had been impulsive and just asked you to marry him...like run off and get hitched in Vegas or something...would you have done it?”

  She was quiet on the other end of the line.

  “Maybe.”

  “Then what’s the real problem?”

  “I don’t want to be just another calculation. Everything in his life is well planned and thought out. The best part about us was that neither one of us had planned it, it was spontaneous and a little undefined.”

  “As all good fuck buddies should be.”

  “But now he’s trying to find a way to work me into his calculations and I don’t want to become another cog in his machine.”

  I sighed and crossed my legs before continuing.

  “I can’t believe I’m saying this, but there is another way to look at it.”


  “...”

  “You could see it as his way of showing you that he’s serious about you. Everything that matters to him in his life is organized, strategized, and calculated. He doesn’t leave anything to chance. That’s how he handles everything from his health to his finances. I mean, have you seen his little pill organizer? He has a goddamned schedule for everything. Maybe working you into his plans is his way of telling you that he wants you to be a part of his life.”

  “Maybe.”

  “Yeah, well that’s as much help as he is going to get from me. You do what you want. I got my own fish to fry. And by the way, why didn’t you ever tell me that Donovan and Daniel got into a fight over me?”

  “Donovan?”

  “Yeah, the creepy guy with the chipped tooth, thanks to Daniel.”

  “Oh, yeah, that guy! Why would you think about him all of a sudden?”

  “Don’t change the subject, witch! Two guys were fighting over me and you never told me,” I hissed.

  “What would you have done if I told you?”

  “I don’t know! Maybe nothing, but it would’ve been nice to know. And you are my best friend, you should’ve told me no matter how I was going to react,” I said.

  “Listen, Mischa, let me level with you. I always had my suspicions when it came to Dan, but I never had any proof. And even if I did, it wasn’t my secret to tell. Remember how you felt when that bitch outed you in middle school?”

  “Whatever happened to her?”

  “I don’t know. I heard she got fat and had a ton of babies.”

  “Hmm.”

  “But, I always figured you and Dan would figure things out. I didn’t expect things to go south the way they did, and by that point, there was no reason for me to say anything. But, yeah, he was seriously looking out for you. Sometimes, I thought he was just hassling you so that he could keep an eye on you.”

  I wasn’t ready to tell her how right she’d been. There was more to Daniel Mann than what I gave him credit for. He was more than just an asshole. He was my Daniel and I’d been his Mischa.

  “Maybe,” I said. “So, you forgive me for being a shit friend?”

  “Yeah, and I’m sorry too.”