Modern Mistress

by Hannah Jay

  While I know girls barely know what stockings and hose are these days, stockings have a terrific ability to make good legs look great and give a finished look to any outfit. And even if they aren’t really your taste, savvy mistresses indulge in them because stockings are on the lust list of virtually every patron.

  Jewelry, Bags and Shoes

  This is a category that is the downfall of many a sensible girl. What is it about jewelry, handbags and shoes that can mesmerize said sensible girl to make her willingly, nay, eagerly, part with her hard-earned cash?

  You know about Ebay, the realreal, Net-A-Porter, your local vintage and consignment stores. Just avoid paying full retail. Many “used” bags are sold with tags still on for a steep discount or worn only a couple of times. Beware of counterfeits, they are out there and hard to detect. All I can say is think twice, maybe thrice; then buy without regret.

  But with bags, shoes and jewelry the glossy girl is looking for sleek, real and elegant. Two, simple, real gold or silver bangles are more elegant than an armful of obviously fake “jewels”. A plain, made by real Italians, buttery leather bag is more versatile and far more attractive than a bag which screams “fake” by being covered in logos. A pair of vinyl six inch heel, three inch platforms scream “stripper”, where a vintage pair of three inch heels in real leather, no platform, whisper “lady”. Glossy girls are always ladies.

  Attitude

  Nothing destroys a look like a slouch. Learn to walk, sit and move with grace.

  Posture is a telling thing; it tends to reflect how a person feels about themselves. Standing up straight, walking deliberately, holding your head held high are positive signals. Projecting confidence into your world is a decision just like slouching is a decision. Glossy girls project confidence. They have worked hard to create their look, they have polished and edited and thought carefully about how they want others to see them. Even if they actually woke up on the wrong side of the bed and burnt the toast, they don’t let it show. By faking it, it doesn’t take long to shake the bad mood and really mean that bounce in your step.

  Regardless of where a glossy girl’s life takes her, whether it is to a grand hotel for a sumptuous champagne dinner or just to her front door, she makes it clear she is worth it. If you think you are special; others will too. It’s that self-fulfilling prophesy working its magic.

  Confidence can be a double-edged sword; beautiful women can be aloof, cold, impolite, demanding, shrill; in essence, better appreciated from a distance. Truly beautiful women are passionate about life, are interested in others and are kind and gracious. Their manners are impeccable, they are polite, friendly, extending compliments, commending excellent service, and asking questions and actually listening to the answers. At the same time, expecting to be treated as a lady goes with the territory. Doors are opened, arms offered. A lost art you say? It’s amazing how men will step up to the challenge when confronted with a beautiful woman who expects him to be a gentleman.

  A confident mistress is almost always a much better off mistress. Her confidence, her certainty that she is worth every penny her patron is paying, means she tends to take charge of her encounters. Her glow, her glossy exterior, her clever clothes give her an edge which men will enjoy but which will also intimidate her patron just a little. This is a good thing.

  Ultimately, a glossy girl has taken charge of her presentation and it shows. Her patrons will, at some level, “get it”. When they “get it” they will realize they have leveled up in the mistress game.

  Glossy girls are more than meets the eye.

  Chapter 6 | Dressing Up To Up Your Game

  Building a distinctive profile as a mistress means standing out from the crowd. You don’t have to be the most beautiful girl, nor have the biggest breasts, nor offer the kinkiest encounters; but you need to be memorable, you need a distinctive style. How do you do that?

  With a measure of style, a mistress will both attract the well-established patrons she seeks, and discourage the random cheapskates she doesn’t. Style is tied to persona and to brand – the persona is your mistress personality.

  Dressing that garners admiration and turns heads requires a plan and some money – though not as much as you might think. It also takes a degree of commitment to taking good care of yourself. Most of all, you must believe that you are worth top dollar as a mistress and be determined to achieve it.

  Rules

  Rules are made for breaking but they can also streamline your life. Here are a few tips:

  Expensive women wear pale or monochromatic clothes

  Less is always more

  Shoes coordinate, they don’t necessarily match

  One good handbag in a neutral colour is sufficient

  Natural fibres – cotton, linen, wool look luxurious because they are

  Pretty lingerie is always the right choice

  A skirt or dress is almost always to be preferred to trousers unless you are yachting

  Simple, well-defined lines can conceal many a figure flaw

  The simpler the dress, the more time a man has to look at who’s wearing it

  Leave lots to the imagination

  Basics

  Mistresses have appointments in both the daytime and in the evening. While a mistress often entertains in her apartment, she needs to be prepared to have lunch, a drink, or dinner.

  On a budget, outfitting such a wardrobe seems daunting – and expensive. Three outfits with coordinating bags, shoes, and accessories purchased in a department store or a designer outlet can set a girl back thousands of dollars, even on sale. So, don’t shop there. Consignment, vintage, and thrift stores all have gorgeous, one-of-a-kind clothes at a quarter to a tenth of retail prices. The way you dress will look unique, not off-the-rack. Remember, style never goes out of fashion. Wear what suits your figure and personality. Scan Vogue for inspiration and replicate looks you love in your own inimitable way.

  To begin, think in terms of key pieces. Smart separates will give you lots of fashion mileage.

  The most basic item every woman, mistress or not, needs is a well-made, well-fitting, long sleeved, white cotton shirt. (Ideally you need about five, but start with one.) And yes, you will either have to pay for dry cleaning or learn the art of ironing. This shirt can pair with skirts, tuck into tailored trousers, be left outside your jeans for those casual occasions, or serve as a simple cover up for swimwear.

  Next, in all its glory, the little black dress (LBD). In jersey, cotton, linen, or a really fine wool, the LBD really does go from cocktails to dinner without missing a fashion beat. Women have been wearing them since Audrey Hepburn made hers famous in Breakfast at Tiffanys in 1961. Not sure what you should buy? Check out the iconic Diane von Furstenburg wrap dress. Ever so flattering for virtually every woman. If you have nice arms, you can go sleeveless. Until you have a collection of both day and evening wear, keep the styling simple and the neckline modest so the dress looks perfect anywhere. Inject fashionable flourishes with a colourful scarf or jacket, statement jewelry, or enviable shoes.

  Another wardrobe workhorse for the top level mistress is the skirt. A simple pencil skirt above or below the knee, will give you some afternoon options as will a fuller skirt in solids or a subtle print. By choosing a core colour scheme for your wardrobe at the outset rather than an every-colour-of-the-rainbow approach, means that your wardrobe works together so you get more looks with fewer pieces. Mixing and matching at its finest. Black and white with bits of grey and hits of red is a timeless combination.

  Even though a girl can never have too many shoes, begin with a pair of 3-inch pumps and a pair of flats. Black and beige go with almost everything.

  Opt for stockings – please, please NOT pantyhose– whether stay-ups or the full gartered glory. Think Kate Moss in the unforgettable Agent Provocateur ads. (Look this up if you have forgotten or don’t know what I’m talking about.) I assure you, no sausage-casing pantyhose can look as drop dead sexy as stockings. Look for a good black g
arter belt with four straps, three back hooks, and, ideally, metal garter clasps – it will pay its way, believe me. Black, grey, white, and beige or nude are all practical and flattering colour choices. Leave the neon lingerie for girls of lesser taste. Seamed stockings are very, very sexy and, for a gentleman of a certain age, deeply evocative. Search vintage shops and Ebay for the real deal. In general, steer clear of tacky sex shop attire. Lovely corsets, for instance, can be found on-line and if you are lucky in thrift stores. Oh, you clever girl!

  Does your closet contain a slip? Yes, I do know that no-one has worn a slip in fifty years, but you should. Modern slips are much better than the ubiquitous piece of nylon and elastic of yesteryear. Look for silk and lace, and body hugging spandex for fitted silhouettes. If you look closely, the actresses who walk the red carpet are wearing a filmy layer between their dress and their Spanx. Ah, if only the Duchess of Cambridge had put on a slip, her Marilyn moment would not have been quite so tabloid worthy.

  Concerning your lingerie needs, there is no need to be matchy matchy about bra and panties, but it’s nice if you do. Never skimp on the enhancement possibilities of a good bra. Push-up models and clever padding is one bit of deception you really should engage in. Your new fab clothes will fit better, your date will be delighted.

  So there you have it. If you have scoured the thrifts and vintage stores you should be able to put together all these basics, including shoes and at least one great handbag for a modest sum and had some fun in the bargain. But be warned, thrifting, can become addictive. Hope you have a big closet.

  Looking Expensive and Worth It

  The well-heeled patron a high-end mistress attracts would not be caught dead with a girl who looks like she might actually be a mistress. They are paying for the companionship of a gorgeous woman who knows how to look and act like a lady in public. But not just any lady, the sort of femme fatale who would be the envy of his friends. If you are unsure or awkward in social situations, or intimidated by two forks and three spoons, brush up on your etiquette. Impeccable manners open the doors you want to go through.

  Clothes are just one piece of the luxe mistress package. Grooming is also very important. Invest in a good, not too fashion forward, hair cut. While most men love long hair, unless it truly is your crowning glory, go for a classic, shoulder length style that suits your face shape and enhances the type of hair you have. Accept what you have---embrace those curls or those poker straight locks. Busy mistresses don’t have time to be a slave to their straightening or curling iron. Keep your hair clean and avoid over styling and product overload. Touchable, shiny, healthy hair is much more attractive than a stiff coif. Find a good hair stylist and take their recommendations to look your best.

  A mistress is super attentive to grooming and hygiene. Fresh from her bath, her skin is soft and slightly fragrant. Her nails are trimmed, buffed and polished---light for day, darker for evening. A perfect pedicure peeps out from those stunning heels. Teeth brushed and flossed, breath fresh. Keep your skincare routine as simple and natural as you can. Ignore the glossy ads for expensive potions and creams. Coconut oil is a little miracle in a tub and can replace your cleanser, make-up remover, and body lotion for a fraction of the price. And you can cook with it, too!

  Makeup – did I mention less is more? Know which colours are most flattering, and learn how to apply your makeup like a pro. If you are unsure, get a lesson. Often the department store beauty counters offer free makeovers (nice to buy a little something though). Watch and learn. Dial it back hard for appointments before 7:00 PM. Make sure to blot your lipstick, and if you are using mascara and eyeliner, a little goes a long way.

  If you sit in a café near a store where the expensive women shop, you can observe some of their secrets to finesse. Firstly, there are very few overweight upper-class women. Which means as a mistress, you need to be fit and healthy. Secondly, these women walk with purpose and exquisite posture. Their backs straight, their shoulders set back, their heads held high. They glide, not shuffle. You will also notice that women in the upper echelon travel light. A phone, a bag and if it looks like rain, an umbrella. Sunglasses are de rigueur in all weather, of course. When shopping or lunching, these ladies do not lug around a big bag, just a clutch or a chic vintage purse. As a mistress you don’t need to take along more than just lipstick, cash, and car keys, so tuck a separate tote in your vehicle with all the other things you might need for the rest of your day. Elegance equals attention to small details and an awareness of the impression one makes.

  And so, a mistress needs to learn the byways of the world in which she wishes to travel if she is to attract the crème de la crème of clientele. For instance, when a she has arranged to meet a new gentleman in a restaurant, and he is a stranger, she will have ensured beforehand that his name is left with the maitre d’ so all she needs to say on arrival is “Mr. Smith’s table, please” in order to find him. No attention-attracting silly search for a man who certainly doesn’t want to be noticed or announced. He will appreciate and trust a potential mistress with such savvy and discretion.

  Gifts are their Own Reward

  While a mistress will have to make the initial investment in her wardrobe, from there it is not unusual to have gentlemen callers provide the rest. The luxuries rather than the necessities. Of course you no longer need a watch in the cell phone age, but a Cartier tank watch just somehow does it better. Gifts are perks of the job, but there are a few guidelines to keep in mind. Always make it clear that gifts are not part of your allowance. It is best to be specific about what you desire. Tactfully, of course. Don’t let the poor man wander through Nieman Marcus armed with only his credit card and his own taste.

  Of course there is a great afternoon date to be had going for lunch followed by a little shopping spree. Plan this as a lovely outing, not a chore. Men generally hate shopping. Have what you want already picked out and set aside and arrive when the stores are fairly empty. Let him make the choice between the lacy demi-cup and the sheer balconette bra. Match your men to your needs – that nice banker with the high heel fetish will be in heaven deciding if you are to have the peep toe or the closed Louboutins.

  Little gifts like lingerie and sumptuous cashmere sweaters are always welcome gifts and offer the gentleman the opportunity to see his gift adorning beautiful you. The internet is very useful to point him right at the perfect gift and provide all required sizing information. Set up a Pintrest page and an Amazon wish list and your gentlemen will soon get to know your wishes.

  Larger gifts like cars, houses, holidays, or gems are the stuff of movies, but if you are playing in that select league, the world is your oyster. He is one completely satisfied (nay, delighted) man and likely has secured you exclusively as his mistress, and the lucky recipient of his lavish attentions. Closer to reality, mistresses are sometimes given designer goods such as coats, evening dresses, and handbags by wealthy patrons who want to celebrate an occasion or simply for no reason other than because you are just so darn adorable. Your hard work has worked!

  Chapter 7 | The Subtle Art of Undressing

  Getting undressed, oddly enough, begins with dressing.

  If you would like to enchant your patron, titillate him, tease him, practical, day to day underwear will never do. In fact, it is better to wear nothing at all than some rag bag Fruit of the Loom granny panties and a shapeless over washed bra.

  Our grandmothers had the right idea: layers and lace.

  But even before those layers and lace consider what your end state is going to be: do you want to be naked or would you prefer to leave more than a little to the imagination? If you have a perfect body nude may be an option but, even the most perfect body looks a little better and more mysterious with a bit of gift wrapping.

  A pretty slip or a lacy chemise gives him just a glimpse while letting you control the action. Sooooo. How do you get from here to there?

  Or, even before we go there, why obsess about undressing? Frankly because the differenc
e between a professional and an amateur is that a professional provides an amazing experience and while amateurs take money for sex. As a mistress you need to deliver a fantastic experience which your gentlemen caller will return for again and again. I am going to assume you’d like to be the very best you can.

  The great courtesans, the elite mistresses all know one thing: men thrive on mystery. It is mystery which keeps them coming back and keeps them tipping and wanting more of your time.

  For a married man an excursion to a mistress offers the thrill of transgression and the certainty of discretion. Variety without complication. For a single man, the mistress experience ensures he will leave with a smile on his face without having to commit. Discretion and no complications are huge; but so is the pleasure of being taken in hand, taken care of.

  That in mind, undressing is as much a ritual offering as it is a practical necessity. To undress is to unveil a wonderful and sacred mystery to the profane gaze of the patron. Which means a girl can and should work very hard indeed to ensure that her patron fully appreciates one of the great gifts he is paying for.

  First off, think about your environment. Will you be entertaining in your living room before leading him to your bed? Or will your entire date take place in a hotel room or bedroom? Your options for undressing are dictated by the layout of the room or rooms. So is the pace.

  3 things to have or look for:

  A soji screen – just a simple Japanese black and white screen. It is translucent which means with a light behind your silhouette will be seen. Putting it in your living room gives you a place to take off at least your dress or skirt and top. In your bedroom, if you put it at the foot of your bed, you can have your patron slip between the sheets while you undress in privacy.