by Randa Lynn
Beth, Lenni’s Mom, just fell in love with everything related to Elli. She promised her a weekend in Atlanta, taking her to a place where they have ‘real tea parties’.
She’s making good on that promise this weekend. My girls left yesterday for Atlanta. Elli went absolutely crazy when Lenni and I broke the news to her yesterday after school. Her shrieks were so loud glass nearly shattered.
I’ve been so damn bored since they left. I just about called in to work for overtime, but I thought better of it. I spend enough time with the fucking pig heads at the coal mine, I wasn’t doing it tonight.
I had to run to Tatum this morning, and that didn’t take nearly as long as I’d have liked. When I got home, the house was way too quiet, and I am not about to sit and watch those ridiculous reality shows Lenni has recorded. I could sit and watch baseball games all day long, but just my luck, there wasn’t an inkling of baseball on TV. So, I called up Damien and asked if he wanted to catch a few beers and a game of pool at Ernie’s Bar.
Now here I am, in the only bar in the entire county. It’s been here for as long as I can remember, and it’s the exact same as it was when I first snuck in here at sixteen.
Tin signs hang haphazardly along the walls. Light fixtures, with years of dust piled on, sway from the ceiling. The old wood flooring is slightly buckled with the years of abuse from drunken bar goers. Chase Rice’s rendition of “Ride” blares from the speakers and dammit, it puts a smile on my face. I remember when I took Lenni out to my dad’s land on the lake that week we first met. I knew then and there I was a goner for the girl. She was so perfect then, and even more so now.
“How’s the ole ball and chain treatin’ ya?” Damien asks. “She keeping your ass in line?”
I shoot the 8-ball into the corner pocket. “See how smooth I sunk it in that hole? I’ve had lots of fucking practice.”
“Dirty bastard.”
“Naw man, for real, it’s great. She’s the one, dude.” Fuck, is she the one? I will never get enough of my girl.
He raises his beer for a toast and I clink my beer to his and finish the last guzzle off. “I’m happy for you, Wes. Man, you’ve been through the ringer. You and Elli deserve somebody who’s gonna treat y’all right.” He picks my beer up and chucks the empty bottles in the nearby trashcan. “So, you thinkin’ about making it official one day?” He leers, knowingly.
I nod. “I plan on it, my man.”
Damien pulls his long hair back into a ponytail. “You forgot where the barber shop was, Dame?” I joke.
He eyes me roguishly. “Man, I ain’t cutting these gorgeous locks. Zoe really, really loves pulling it when we’re fu—“
“You shut your goddamn mouth right now, Greene. That’s my fucking sister.” I shiver at the thought as my stomach starts to churn. The mental image in my head is enough to make me want to ram his head against this pool table in front of every drunk bastard in this place.
He holds his hands up in surrender. “Hey, man. Don’t kill me. I’m really fucking diggin’ your sister. It ain’t like I’m with anybody else.”
I warn through clenched teeth, “You better the fuck not be. You’re my bro, but she’s my flesh and blood. I will kill any sorry fucker who hurts her, you included.”
“No worries, bro. I ain’t Cameron Walker. I don’t screw everything on two legs. Pops did teach me better.”
“Yeah. I know,” I admit, racking the balls. I get them racked then look up to him. “You told Z, yet?”
Suddenly tense, he leans over the pool table and drops his head down. He shakes his head. “Naw. I don’t think I want to yet. Just please respect me on this. It’s not something I like to talk about.”
I grab my pool stick and break. “She deserves to know, man. I know I don’t know everything that’s happened, but I know enough from what you’ve told me. If you plan on being with my little sister, don’t keep her in the dark forever.”
He stands up straight and scrubs his hands up and down his face. “I know. Just…let me work this shit out in my head, first. Let me do this shit in my own time.”
“Alright, man. I won’t say crap. Ain’t my place to say anything, anyways.”
He comes over and slaps me on the shoulder. “Thanks. I’m gonna get us another beer.”
I tip my hat to him and lean against the wall. Grabbing my phone out of my pocket, I text Lenni.
Me: Missing my girls. Hope ur having fun. Give Scooter a kiss.
She texts me back immediately.
Lenni: She said hand, heart. We love you.
Me: Love y’all too.
I slide my phone back in my pocket when I hear, “Hey cocksucker!”
I don’t even have to turn around to know who that loud son-of-a-bitch is. I turn my head. “The hell you doing here, Walker?”
He slaps his hand on my back. “Just coming to scout some free range kitties. I’m in need of some TLC, my friend.”
I lean up and cock my eyebrow. “Thought you were love-sick over Amber?”
He takes a pull of his beer then picks up the pool stick. “Fuck that one. She’s crazy. She wants to play the hard to get game, I’m out. It’s time for Cameron, the one all the ladies know and love, to come back full fucking force.” He sighs heavily and rolls his eyes, taking another sip of beer.
The look on his face is one I know all too well. He’s just too fucking prideful to admit it. Man is just as fucked as I am. “Lying joker. You got it bad for the girl, dude. I can see you right now. You’re in another fucking world day dreaming about her. I can read ya like a dictionary.”
Cam huffs and braces himself against the pool table with his hands. “Dude. She’s driving me up the fucking wall. I gotta get her out of my head. How do you do this shit? Being hung up on one woman? It ain’t me. I’m turning into a fucking pussy just like you.”
“When a girl’s worth it, man, she’s fucking worth it,” I reply.
“Awe, whatever. Now, change the subject. No Amber. Not to-fucking-night. I can shoot the shit, but will not talk about her anymore.”
“Shoot the shit?” Damien walks up holding our beer.
Cameron looks confused. “Uh, yeah. Shoot the shit. Bullshit, Talk Smack. Whatever.” He shakes his head as he breaks. “Make me look dumb, why don’t ya. Just because y’all didn’t know what the fuck it meant.”
Damien and I laugh our asses off at Cam. He’s acting all pissy over that, but we both know what his real problem is. Amber Reynolds has got his number, and she’s playing him like a fiddle. It’s about time a girl doesn’t fall at his feet when he gives her his, and I quote, ‘come fuck me grin.’
We finish our round of pool and bullshit some more. I’m just about ready to head home and call it a night when I suddenly feel like I’m being watched. There’s something fucking eerie in the atmosphere.
My skin crawls on the back of my neck, my senses become heightened. Who the fuck is watching me? I spin in a circle, scanning the bar for whoever it is. There’s a couple arguing in the far corner, women dancing to some rap song on the dance floor, but no one seems out of place. But someone is there, I can fucking feel it. Like a pinprick to your back, you can feel it, but you can’t see it.
“Cam,” I call out, still staring out into the bar.
He walks over to me. “Yeah, man?”
The feeling hasn’t subsided. If anything it’s only gotten stronger. I’m getting more pissed about it by the second. “Walk around and see if you see anybody that looks out of place. I got a sneaking suspicion somebody is watching me, and I’m about to fucking lose it.”
The sudden rush of anger boils in my skin. I got beef with no one other than Ryan, and he’s locked up in a prison. Other than him, I got no fucking clue who it could be.
I go to the bar and grab a bottle of water and sip on it while waiting on Cam and Damien.
Cam and Damien finally walk back over to where I’m standing, they both have that look of disbelief on their face. That ‘what the fuck’ look. And I�
��m about to beat the shit out of them until they spill it, because they won’t fucking talk. They’re just staring at me like I’m a lost fucking puppy, and it’s pissing me off.
“What in the fuck is y’all’s problem?” I bite out. I scan their faces, but they’re not giving off a damn thing.
Cameron takes a sip of his beer as he steps closer to me. “Dude, I think you should go home.”
Now I’m really fucking pissed. “What. The. Fuck. Is. Going. On?”
Damien steps up and finally speaks. “Man,” he shakes his head, “Vanessa is here.”
What the….?
No. Fuck no.
No. No. No.
I spin around, still not believing it. When I spot her across the bar, staring at me like I’m the only bastard in this place, I get sick to my stomach.
I turn back around just as fast. “What in the fuck is she doing here?” I seethe.
“Man, how am I supposed to know?” Damien’s eyes bulge as he looks over my shoulder.
Fuck.
“Hey, Wes.”
I inch my way around, wanting to get this shit over as quick as possible, yet not wanting to talk to her at all.
I’ve thought about this day for a while. What it would be like when I saw her again. Because I knew this day would come, whether I was ready for it or not. At one time, I hoped like hell I would see her again, but not anymore. I don’t have anything to say to her, at least anything that matters. She just better hope she’s not here to try to weasel her way into Elli’s life, because that shit isn’t gonna fly with me.
“What do you want, Vanessa?” My tone drips with annoyance, but not enough, because she’s still here, staring at me.
She steps closer. Too fucking close, so I step back, bumping into the pool table.
She’s wearing a skimpy dress that hugs her thin frame and barely covers any of her long legs. The legs and body that I used to find sexy do nothing for me anymore. Everyone else is in jeans and plain shirts. Not her. No, she’s always been one to want to be the center of attention. I see nothing has changed. She brings her hand up and runs it along her collar bone seductively. Is she fucking serious? “Can we talk?”
“We’ve had over four years to talk, Vanessa. I’m not sure what you have to say, but go ahead.” I lean against the pool table and cross my feet at the ankles. I can feel my jaw clenching tighter with each passing second. She eyes Damien and Cam who are flanked on either side of me. “They’re not leaving. Whatever you feel like saying, go ahead and spit it out.”
She takes a deep breath and flips her hair over a shoulder. With her heels on, she’s damn near as tall as me, so she stares at me straight on. “Okay. Well as you can see, I’m back in town.”
Well today is full of obvious fucking truths ain’t it? “Yeah, I can see that. So, what do you want? I don’t really see where that’s a reason to talk to me. I said all I needed to say years ago. I’ve moved on, and frankly, I have nothing to say to you.”
Her eyes grow wide and her face dissolves into anger. “Where’s Elli at?”
Oh, that’s rich coming from the woman who walked out on her.
“Not that it’s any of your damn business, but she’s with my girlfriend for the weekend in Atlanta.”
She crosses her arms over her chest, and her hip pops to the side. If eyes were daggers, I’m sure I’d be dead, because she’s shooting them straight into me.
“She’s with your girlfriend? Why would you let her go off with your girlfriend?” The way she says girlfriend, like it’s vinegar in her mouth, doesn’t get past me. I can’t fucking believe she’s got the nerve to come here after four years and try to pull this shit.
She made the choice to walk away from the daughter she gave life to. She isn’t going to try to fucking dictate what I do and do not allow to happen in my daughter’s life. She’s fucking crazier than I thought if she thinks that is going to happen.
“First off, you have no fucking say so in Elli’s life, so don’t pull this shit on me.”
She scoffs. “And that means it’s okay to bring random women around our daughter?”
I clinch my teeth, trying to bite back the rage. “She’s my damn daughter, not yours. You lost the right to call yourself her mother the day you walked your ass out that door. My girlfriend is the furthest thing from a random woman. As far as I’m concerned, Elli is in Atlanta with her mother.”
I probably shouldn’t have said that. I shouldn’t have added fuel to the fire, but I’ll be damned if she is going to dictate who I allow around my daughter. She sure as hell hasn’t cared about what’s gone on in Elli’s life the past four years. Why is she going to pretend she cares now?
She inches her way closer to me and sticks her finger in my face like it has some effect on me. “I am her mother. Not some little bitch you’re screwing, Wes. So get that shit straight right now.”
Yep. She’s crossed the line I was sure as shit hoping she wouldn’t. I close my eyes and take a deep breath, trying to mellow the fury that’s boiling in my blood. “Number fucking one, you’re not her mother. You lost that title the day you walked out of that goddamn door, we just went over this shit. Number two, she’s not some girl I’m fucking. She’s the love of my life, and if you call her a bitch again, I’m going to have to rethink my ‘I’ll never lay hands on a woman’ clause. So, I suggest you turn the fuck around and walk right back out the door you came from.”
She stomps her foot. “She’s not taking my place as Elli’s mother. If you think that, you’ve got another thing coming.”
An evil laugh simmers from my throat. “Funny thing is, Vanessa, she’s not taking your place, because for that to happen, you would have had to have a relevant place in Elli’s life to begin with. We both know you never did. If you’ve forgotten, you gave up your rights to my daughter four fucking years ago. So don’t pretend like you care now, because I see right through you.”
She studies me intently. “You’re an asshole, Wes. What happened to you?”
I laugh and look over to Damien, who’s got a smirk on his face. “Me? Nothing happened to me. But if you so much as try to talk to my little girl and throw a wrench in her life, then I’ll have a huge fucking problem. She’s five years old, and I’ll be damned if you confuse her because you want to act like you care today and run away tomorrow.” I stand up straight, and stare her straight in the eyes. “She’s done nothing wrong, and you’re not putting her in the middle of your sudden charades. Because we all know that’s what it is, a game to you. But Elli’s life is the furthest thing from a game to me.”
“We’ll see about that,” she snaps. “She’s still my daughter, and you can’t take that away from me.” She storms off without another word.
I look to my left and right. Cameron and Damien are both standing like they’ve just watched a fucking side show circus.
I am not in the mood for this shit.
“Don’t you two dare say a goddamn word right now, because I’m liable to beat the fuck out of both of you.”
I storm off to my truck and gun it home.
Fuck Vanessa and her bullshit.
Chapter 32
LENNI
Elli, Mom, and I had a blast yesterday. We went to English Emporium and had the tea party that we promised Elli. She got to wear big, floppy hats and drink from real tea cups and saucers that had intricate rose details on them. Elli was in heaven as she was pampered and served by “real British people.” Her eyes shimmered with glee the entire time, but I enjoyed it as much as, if not more, than her.
Yesterday was such a defining moment for me. I’ve seen Elli as my daughter for months now, but yesterday when she was smiling, laughing and just enjoying our girls’ day I saw my daughter. The line that differentiated us has dissipated in my eyes. I know it sounds crazy that my life has changed so much in the eight months I’ve known Elli and Wes, but when I’m with them I feel right. Love isn’t measured by the length of time it’s been in existence, but by the depth it flows fr
om one soul to another. My love for Elli and Wes goes beyond what’s comprehendible, and that’s okay, because it’s not meant for anyone else to understand. Life with them makes sense. Elli is the greatest joy I’ve ever had; she gives me purpose.
“She’s great, isn’t she?” I asked as I watched Elli excitedly choose a new hat from the hat racks before grabbing a boa to have her photograph taken in.
“She is. But more so, you are great with her. You’re a natural, Lenni Girl. Watching you interact with her, how gentle, and patient you are with her, it makes my heart swell with pride.”
I turned and looked at my mother. Tears filled her beautiful eyes and a small smile hinted at the corners of her mouth. “Thank you, Mom. That means so much to me.” I turned back to watch Elli. “She means so much to me.”
“Oh, my sweet girl. I know this isn’t what your father and I envisioned for you, but it is so far beyond what we could have hoped. It took your father a little bit to come to terms with your needing to lead your own life, but the happiness that you have with Elli and Wes radiates from within you, my dear. I love you, and I love Elli as if she were flesh of my flesh.”
My eyes tingled with unshed tears as I listened to my mother. I watched as Elli ran back towards us. “Mommy that was so much fun!” She barreled into me, throwing her tiny arms around my neck. “Thank you and Grandma Beth for the best day ever. I love you.”
“I love you, sweet girl,” I whispered, enveloping her in my arms as she sealed my life’s fate.
I was completely in love with being this little girl’s mommy.
“You ready to head back home to see Daddy?” I ask as we walk out to the Jeep.
She stops mid-twirl and looks at me through those big, dark lashes. “Yes, ma’am!” She looks back towards my parents’ house. “But I didn’t tell them bye.”