by Randa Lynn
When we get close, the car door opens slowly and Vanessa gets out. She’s not dolled up like she was the other night. She looks slouchy in pajamas and an overly big t-shirt. Her hair is messy and she looks defeated.
Defeated? Naw, that can’t be right. Fuck, I’m confused right now.
“What in the fuck are you doing at my house?” Lenni’s body straightens up. The tears that were forming in her eyes just moments ago are gone, replaced with anger and determination.
“I just wanted to talk,” Vanessa says, barely above a whisper.
Lenni gives a frustrated laugh. “Talk? Don’t you think you’ve already said enough? We can say everything else we need to say in court. You can get off our property now.”
Vanessa crosses her arms over her chest and looks down at the ground separating us. “I saw you at the store this morning,” she admits.
“Well that’s fucking nice. You’re stalking us now?” I chime in. At the same time Lenni says, “I told you to stay away from us.”
Vanessa looks between the two of us. “Can I talk? Without you two barreling into me? I just need five minutes.”
Lenni steps in front of me and I drape my arms over her shoulder, pulling her into me. “You’ve got five minutes. Clock starts now.”
Damn, Lenni is feisty today. I like it.
“I just wanted to know who she was. I just wanted to know my daughter.” She pauses, looking up into my eyes. I stare back, wanting to see if I can read her. I want to know if her intentions here are good or full of malice, but I can’t read a damn thing.
I can’t read her, because I don’t know her anymore.
Did I ever know her at all? I muddle over the question, and the only answer I come up with is I don’t even care.
Because I don’t. I use to care that I no longer knew Vanessa, but those days are a far memory. It feels so fucking good to say that.
“You’ve made that known,” I grit out.
She looks back down to her twiddling thumbs. “I’ve spent the past week thinking about how I was going to do this, then I saw her last night.” Her eyes dart to Lenni. "That just made me angrier. Honestly, it hurt like hell to know someone else was raising my daughter.”
Lenni releases from my hold and steps closer to Vanessa. “You chose to walk away fr—“
“I’m not done,” Vanessa cuts her off. “Please, let me finish.”
Lenni looks down at her nonexistent watch. “You’ve got four minutes.”
“Okay. Four minutes. Got it.” Vanessa flashes a small picture that was hidden in the palm of her hand. “This was taken when we came home with Elli. I’ve spent all week looking at it, wishing time would turn back so I could have that back. Have the days back I lost.” She looks at Lenni. “Then I saw you, and that changed everything. My aching heart turned cold. Someone else raising the daughter I birthed. It didn’t sit well with me.”
“Again, your fucking choice,” Lenni barks.
She hands the picture over to Lenni. I peep over her shoulder, and I notice that she’s torn herself out of it. All that remains is Elli and me.
“And then I saw you three this morning at the store. And yeah, I followed you. I wanted to see Elli, to see how much she’s grown.” Tears stream from her eyes. “And, God, how much she’s grown. She’s so beautiful. She looks like me, but those dimples of hers are all yours, Wes.”
I can sense Lenni’s body tense at the mention of Elli looking like Vanessa. But as much as I hate to acknowledge it, it’s the truth.
Vanessa continues, “Then I heard you interact, I saw how happy she got over the smallest of things.” She wipes the tears from her eyes, and I’m left kind of feeling sorry for her. I don’t fucking know why. “When I heard her call you Mommy that sent the last nail into my already broken heart.” Her hands fly over her face. “I’ve done it all wrong,” she mumbles. She stands there for a few moments before slowly bringing her hands down, folding them across her chest. “I’ve made mistakes, and I’ve hurt people I shouldn’t have hurt.” She looks back between Lenni and me. “I’m sorry, for everything. But mostly, I’m sorry for not being the mother that Elli deserved. She deserves so much better than me. I should know her favorite things to do. I should know her favorite kind of cake. I should know her favorite candy. Her worst fears. Her favorite movie. I should know it all, but I don’t. And that? That’s on me.”
We stand in silence until Vanessa finally breaks it. “As much as it’s going to kill me, I won’t try to come into Elli’s life. When she gets older and she wants to know me, I’d really love that. But, I have no right to get to be in her life. Not now. You were both right, I chose to walk away because of me, because I was selfish. Now I’ll choose to finally put her first and stay away. It’s the least I can do.”
I’m left fucking speechless.
Vanessa stares for a long moment at me, then turns and walks back towards her car. She opens the door and pauses, turning her head back to Lenni and me. “Thank you, Lenora, for loving Elli and being the mother I’m not.” She inhales her sobs. “And Wes. Thank you for being the absolute best father to Elli. She’s really lucky to have you two. You won’t have to worry about me causing issues. Seeing Elli so happy this morning told me all I needed to know. Happy birthday, Wes.”
She climbs into her car, closes the door, and drives away.
Lenni and I stand in silence, stunned by what just happened.
I’ve always took what Vanessa said with a grain of salt, but I believe her this time. I felt the conviction in her voice.
I wrap my arms around Lenni’s shoulders and pull her into me, her back connecting with my chest. I place my chin on the top of her head and just stand there. For the first time since Lenni and I have been together, I don’t feel any sort of danger looming over our heads. No forces threatening to pull us apart at any moment.
Right here, in this moment, I feel nothing but pure fucking peacefulness. It feels amazing.
Chapter 38
WES
After Vanessa left, I got Elli and placed her in her bed, where she’s been asleep for the past few hours. Lenni and I sat on the swing and just enjoyed a few moments of peace. I feel like a weight has been lifted from her shoulders, and it makes me happy as hell to see that sparkle back in her eyes. She still seems like she’s holding something back, but I can’t put my finger on it for the life of me.
Guess that’ll wait until tomorrow, because today is going way too fucking perfect. Even with Vanessa showing up. No, especially because Vanessa showed up.
I peak my head in the back door. Lenni is flurrying around the kitchen trying to get everything prepared for everyone that’s coming over in just a little bit. “Hey, Len, you got the hamburger meat patted out?”
“Give me five minutes, please,” she huffs.
She runs to the counter to wash her hands. Her back is turned to me so I take the opportunity to sneak my way up behind her. I wrap my arms around her waist and nuzzle my face in the crook of her neck. Sexy little giggles illicit from her mouth as she squirms in my arms.
My eyes zone in on her peach colored V-neck tee, landing on her cleavage peeking out of it. I don’t know if she’s got a new bra on, or if they’re just being extra perky for me today, but I just want to squeeze them and bury my face in between them. Before I realize what I’m doing—no that’s a lie I know exactly what I’m doing—I bring my hands up the sides of her body and grab on to both of them.
“Ouch! Stop!” She slaps my hand away like I’m a scolded child. “You’re so horny today.”
She spins around, her back against the sink. I look down at her boobs then back up to her. “Uh, those,” I point to her chest, “are mine. I can touch them. And woman, with you I’m always in the mood. Whatever happened to that muumuu dress I told you to get right when we first met?”
She forces a laugh. “I’m serious, Wes. They’re sore.”
“Why are they sore?” I look down at her curiously. That makes no sense. How the fuck do boo
bs get sore unless someone pinches the shit out of them? I know I didn’t.
She looks up at me through those big, perfect eyes of hers. “Uhm,” she stops and looks back down.
“Baby,” I whisper as I pick her head up to look at me. She’s suddenly got me worried something is fucking wrong, and she needs to just tell me what the hell it is now before I go insane. “Just spit it out, Len.”
Her eyes fall to our feet. “I wanted to wait because it’s your birthday, but I suck at keeping anything from you.” She twirls her hair between her fingers nervously.
Shit.
“Lenni, you’re driving me crazy. Stop twirling that damn hair of yours and spit it out.”
She abruptly stops fiddling with her hair, dropping her hands to her side. She stares up at me through those dark lashes of hers before they fall back away from my stare. She just stands motionless for what feels like fucking hours. My heart is beating out of my chest with fear for what she’s going to say. I’ve got a million possibilities running through my mind, and none of them amount to anything good, that’s for damn sure.
She finally breaks the dead silence. “Last night, Zoe and I stopped at the drug store. I’ve not been feeling myself lately. You know earlier I wasn’t feeling well.” She pauses then looks directly in my eyes. “Wes. I, I’m…pregnant.”
My heart stops. All function ceases as I try to wrap my brain around what she just said. I stare at her, dumbfounded. I can’t move, much less breathe. Everything I was imagining she would say was definitely not this. How in the hell did this not cross my mind? I knew it could happen, hell, look at Elli. But I didn’t fucking see it coming.
Pregnant.
Lenni is pregnant. Pregnant with my kid.
I scrub my hands up and down my face in disbelief. “Are you sure?”
She shakes her head timidly. “As sure as six positive pregnancy tests that are in a bag in the bathroom cabinet.”
I remove my cap from my head and pull at my hair trying to decipher if this is real or if I’m dreaming. “Holy shit.”
I finally open my eyes and look down at my girl whose eyes are full of tears. “You’re mad, aren’t you?” she chokes out.
My eyes narrow in on her. “Mad? Fuck no, baby. This is the best birthday present I’ve ever gotten.” I take her face in my hands and bring my lips down to hers. “I’m gonna be a daddy. Again,” I breathe against her lips. I pull my face away from hers and kneel down. I rub my hand over her flat, perfect belly and look back up into her hazel eyes in awe. “You’re really carrying my baby?”
Her face glows, and the most gorgeous smile she’s ever smiled spreads across it. “Yes.”
I lift her shirt up and gently lay kisses all over her belly. “That’s my boy in there.”
Her sweet, soulful laugh resonates through the kitchen. “I’m betting it’s another girl.”
“Oh, fuck me. If it’s another girl I’m putting bars outside the windows, a security system to make sure y’all stay in, and I’ll have the biggest arsenal of artillery this state has ever seen.”
She chuckles, “Mr. Overprotective, are we?”
“Damn right.” I stand up and wrap my girl in my arms. “Seriously though, baby. This is the best news you could have ever given me. I love you so fucking much. I want to shout it to the world that the sexiest woman alive is carrying my child.”
She reaches up on her tip toes and gives me a light kiss before she heads over to the fridge. “And I can’t wait to shout to the world that I’m carrying the sexiest man alive’s child. But you’re going to keep that sexy mouth of yours shut until we get past the first trimester, mister.” She turns around with the tray of meat and hands it to me. “It’s all yours, master chef. Don’t burn them.”
“Yes ma’am.” I tip my hat at her before placing it back on and head back outside.
I pop the burgers on the grill and let them cook. I grab a beer when I hear gravel crunching. I turn around and see Zoe’s ugly ass red VW Bug coming down the driveway.
But what I wasn’t expecting was for Damien’s big ass to be in the driver’s seat. Now, that shit is a sight to be seen. A six foot five burley ass guy smashed into a car that he cannot physically fit in correctly.
Where the hell is my phone? I look around. Got it. I turn on the camera and snap a pic before he’s got time to get out. This shit will be blackmail for as long as I need it. I barrel over in laughter, I can’t control it. It’s so fucking funny. He looks pissed off at the world as he’s trying to get himself out of Z’s car. I point at him, still in hysterics. “You look like you are a can of biscuits ready to explode.”
“Ha, ha, ha. Funny, yeah? Shut the fuck up, Taylor. Your sister, man, she didn’t want to drive and said if I didn’t I’d be cut off for a month. Fucking blackmail, man. I had no other choice.” He shakes his head as he turns to Zoe, who is laughing right along with me. “Next time, we’re bringing my damn Tahoe.” He stalks off to the ice chest and grabs a beer and pops the top. He holds it up in cheers. “Happy birthday you sorry bastard.”
●●●●●
I finished cooking the burgers just as everyone else started to arrive. My dad, Lenni’s parents, Dee, Amber, and Cameron all showed up within mere minutes of each other, all wishing me a happy birthday.
The women are all inside with Lenni doing whatever it is women do. I’m sure Elli is the main attraction. She woke up from her nap a little bit ago, and when she wakes up from naps she is a wild tornado on the loose.
Cam brought corn-hole, so we’ve all been out here bullshitting, drinking, and throwing beanbags.
“Happy birthday, my boy.” Dad comes up by me.
“Thanks Dad. Getting old ain’t all that bad.” I sip on my beer then toss the beanbag.
“I know I’ve said it before, but I’m proud of you son. You’re a damn good man.” He slaps me on the shoulder. “I wish your ma was here to see you and Elli today. She’d be over the moon happy. She’d really love Lenni.”
I turn my gaze towards my Pops and see a twinkling of tears in his eyes. “Yeah, she would.”
Dad stares at me for a beat then walks off, not one for sentiments. I know him talking about Mom always makes him a bit sad, so I don’t stop him.
“Hey jerkoff, it’s your turn.” Cameron throws his beanbag at me.
I pick his up and chuck it back at him before throwing mine, sinking it. “Hole in one, mother fucker.”
“Daddy! That’s a really bad word. Mommy is going to be mad at you.” I turn around and see my little diva daughter, hands on her hips, pointing her finger at me in reprimand. I have been busted. “Mommy told me to tell you she needed you for a minute. But now I’m gonna tell her that you have a potty mouth.” She shakes her finger at me. “You need soap, mister!”
I put my beer down on the ground and squat down in front of her. I give a fake little pout to try to sway her to my side of this. “But, Scooter, today is Daddy’s birthday. You don’t want me to get in trouble on my birthday, do you?
She forces her mouth into a hard line to keep from smiling. I reach in and tickle her, trying to break her. It works. Her mouth contorts into a big grin as she starts to laugh. “Stop, Daddy! I promise I won’t tell.” I keep tickling her. “Please!”
“Okay.” I hold out my hand. “Truce.”
She holds out her hand and takes it in mine, but her little face is riddled with confusion. “What’s truce?”
I laugh, and so does everyone else in ear shot. “Truce is what happens when two people don’t tell Mommy that Daddy said a really bad word.”
She mouths a big “Oh” as we walk into the house.
I walk in and am bombarded by mounds of female giggles and laughter followed by oohs and aahs. I look for Lenni and then I stop mid stride. Holy fuck me sideways. She’s standing in the kitchen with heels on, the sexiest fucking dress I’ve ever seen, and a smile to boot. Her hair is curled and pulled halfway back. She doesn’t have a lick of makeup on and she looks more gorgeous than
I’ve ever seen. Dammit, it’s time for everybody to leave. She looks fucking phenomenal. She’s glowing. She’s glowing because she’s pregnant with my kid.
What the hell? How in the Sam fuck did I get this lucky?
I stalk towards my woman like a lion stalking towards his prey. I pay no mind to anyone else in the room, because I don’t give a damn. I wrap her in my arms and place a light kiss on her lips. I bring my mouth to her ear and whisper softly so no one else can hear, “We need to wrap this shit up real quick. You’re driving me crazy with that dress.”
She lets out a small little giggle and nuzzles her neck closer. “Time to eat, Mr. Taylor.”
She’s such an angelic tease, but God, I love it.
I gather all the guys outside and we come in, get our food, and sit down to eat. Elli picks at her food then starts running around making jokes with anyone who will give her the few seconds of attention. When she’s had enough pestering one person, she goes to the next. The cycle keeps repeating itself until we’ve all finished our food.
“Hey, Wes. Can I talk to you a minute?” I look around my shoulder and see Lenni’s mom standing behind me.
I tip my cap. “Yes, ma’am. Let’s go outside.”
We make our way outside and I take her over to the swing on the front porch. We sit down in silence for a few minutes. I don’t know why Beth makes me so nervous, but she does. They say dynamite comes in small packages, and I fear if her fuse were ever lit, she’d annihilate everything in her path. I never want to be in her path. If her daughter’s tenacity is any indication of her mother’s, that’s a big hell no on the home front.
She finally breaks the silence. “You make my daughter happy, you know?”
I take a deep breath. “And she makes me happy,” I reply truthfully.
She finally turns towards me with a look of sadness mixed with happiness in her eyes. “I want you to promise me something.”