Fade to Black

by Unknown

  She swallowed hard, her eyes burning back into his. Her hands tightened their grip, verifying that she knew what he was going to say next and wasn’t going to stop him.

  “Kate Callahan, I love you.”

  More tears slid down her cheeks, and he wasn’t sure if that was a good sign or not, so he waited. And waited. Her nose turned red as did her eyes. The words hung in the air like a nuclear bomb just waiting to explode.

  When he felt like he might spontaneously combust as well, he got to his feet. She opened her mouth but closed it again.

  His eyes were focused only on the infinitely deep jade of her eyes as he said, “Kate, you now know everything you need to know.” A small, unfelt smile tugged at the corners of his mouth. “I’m going to bed. I’ll leave my door open. If you need anything, please know that you’re welcome in my room, in my bed, in my life.” Leaning down, he pressed his lips to hers, then moved them to just below her ear and whispered, “I love you, Kate. Please let me love you.”

  Kate didn’t offer any kind of reaction other than to turn away from him. Her shoulders began to shake as she cried. Maybe he’d been wrong to tell her everything. Maybe she wasn’t ready for it. But did he have any other options?

  With his heart completely exposed, Rich turned on his heel and closed her door.

  Careful to leave his door wide open, he went into the bathroom and turned on the water. His heart was breaking, causing real physical pain that consumed every inch of his chest cavity. If Kate didn’t want to be with him, then…

  “Oh, Kate,” he sighed, pushed fingers through his hair and stepped under the spray. The temperature wasn’t even noticeable since he’d given in to the depressed numbness that was saving him from completely losing it.

  The water ran over his face, acting as the tears he wouldn’t let fall. He’d done everything he could. The situation was now completely out of his hands. If he’d thought he’d felt helpless before, that was nothing. Giving into his emotions, he sank down to the floor of the shower, letting the water beat on his bare skin.

  When it started to prune, Rich gathered what was left of his dignity and turned off the water. The steam was thick in the room and the mirror was completely fogged over, which was good. The last thing his ego needed was to actually see how pathetic he looked. Feeling it was enough.

  A quick rub of the towel to dry his skin and he pulled a pair of boxers up over his hips then headed into his room. Wishing he could take something to ease the pain of his breaking heart, he eased onto the bed and leaned against the pillows. His thumb fumbled with the remote control, turning on the television for no other reason than to fill the uncomfortable silence.

  Kate’s door clicked and he quickly turned off the television. She appeared in the doorway. Her nose was red, as were her eyes, and her skin was splotchy. She’d obviously been crying since he’d witnessed those first moments of her breakdown. “Rich,” she squeaked, only to start sobbing again.

  Jumping to his feet, he rushed to her. “Kate?” His arms ached to hold her, but pushing her right now wasn’t something he was willing to do. Instead his finger tipped her chin to urge her to look at him. “What can I do for you, Kate?” Her only answer was a sob. “What do you need?” Panic began to consume him as he waited for her to answer.

  She blinked as she looked into his eyes. “Rich, will you please…”

  “Anything, Kate. I’d do anything to make this hurt go away. I hate seeing you like this. Just name it. What can I do for you?”

  Another stifled sob escaped her. “Please…hold me.”

  “Oh, my love,” he whispered against her hair, wrapping his arms around her, “that is the easiest request I’ve ever heard. Come here.” She melted into his touch and he eased his arm under her knees, lifting her into his arms. He started toward the bed, but stopped as she shifted. “Are you okay if we…”

  Her head moved against his skin as she nodded. “I just need to be in your arms tonight. Please.”

  That particular request was one she would not have to make more than once. Rich had dreamt of holding her in his arms while she slept. He eased her on to the exposed sheets then crawled in next to her. She snuggled in next to him, resting her head on his chest. Her arm lay across his waist and tightly held onto his body.

  Rich sighed, feeling relaxed for the first time since arriving in Arizona. Tiny rivulets ran down his side as Kate’s emotions continued to get the best of her. The occasional sob or hiccup let him know that she was still awake. His arms tightened around her and his lips found the top of her head. “I love you, Kate.”

  “I know,” she whispered.

  Although, he would have wished for those three words coming from her mouth, he was grateful for her answer. It would have to be good enough…for now.

  Kate’s breathing slowed, and the tears ceased as she drifted into, what he hoped, would be a peaceful sleep. She sighed and snuggled into him. Her hand moved up over his chest and she smiled against his skin before pressing her lips to it. She was still for a few minutes then began to violently shake her head back and forth. “Jesse, please…” she said in a strangled whisper.

  Rich’s teeth ground together at the sound of his name on her lips.

  Her body stilled, and her breathing steadied as she found sleep again.

  Rich tried to relax, but could only think of Kate saying Jesse’s name in her sleep. She was pleading with him. Why? What was she dreaming? Rich’s focus was on the features of her face; the cute dusting of freckles on her small, straight nose and cheeks. Dark eyelashes rested against the skin of her pale cheek. She looked so peaceful now, so content, so innocent. Her lips pulled into an intoxicating smile and her arms tightened around him. She flipped her leg over his thighs, pulling herself closer to him, almost as if she were trying to fuse their bodies together.

  In response, Rich tightened his grip on her, enjoying every moment of this side of her. This was something he’d been craving. The feel of Kate’s skin against his sent an electrical current running through his veins.

  “Oh,” she moaned as her leg moved up and down his thigh. Rich tried to extinguish his excitement when Kate began crawling up his body, and his eyes closed. She pressed her lips to his neck and sighed, “Rich.”

  Yes! Rich fought the urge to holler in victory. She may have said Jesse’s name, but she’d said his too. And, she was kissing Rich while she said it.

  She relaxed, easing her body against his. “Oh, Rich,” she said in an erotic whisper.

  “Oh, Kate,” he answered then with a smile on his face, Rich allowed his body to follow her lead and drifted into the happiest sleep he’d ever experienced.

  Chapter Twenty

  Fuzzy visions still flooded Kate’s mind as sleep started to release its hold on her. The skin against her cheek was moving steadily as the chest expanded with each intake of breath. Kate snuggled deeper into the warm body, needing the solace that only he could offer. Her fingers explored the smooth, toned muscles that rested just under the skin.

  “Mmm,” she moaned, filling her lungs with the calming scent that was frighteningly familiar. The pounding of her heart was violent, banging against her ribcage. Her lungs ached for more of the delectable aroma it had just experienced and sucked in a deep breath, only to pause, savoring it. Her skin buzzed where it touched his. Hiking her leg up over his thigh, Kate pulled herself even closer, giving into the desire of her soul.

  The man starring in her dreams tightened his hold on her. Strong arms wrapped themselves around her. His long fingers traced circles on the bare skin of her back, just under the hemline of her shirt. A growl rumbled beneath her ear and she turned to press her lips to his soft chest. His heart stuttered at the intimate contact.

  Her heart matched his, beat for steady beat. As the heat built between her thighs, her stomach churned in glorious anticipation. She allowed her hand to travel across his tight abdomen then used one finger to follow the narrow line of hair that would lead to delicious things.

>   The sharp intake of breath, followed by a hiss as he exhaled, caused her to smile. The fact that she had that kind of effect on this man was such a turn on. His soft hands tickled their way under the waistband of her pajamas and he firmly filled his palm with her ass. He kissed the top of her head then used his hand to urge her up his body. He spent a few moments worshipping each new inch of her face as it came within his reach. The corners of her mouth lifted as he moaned his enjoyment. His lips made contact with each side of her smile before unleashing his passion on her mouth.

  Tingles and more heat surged through her bloodstream as he teased her with his lips and tongue. Short pants of breath were all that she could manage as the war raged in her mouth.

  “Oh, Rich,” Kate moaned, “I need you.”

  Rough hands gripped her face, shaking her awake. Her eyes flew open and were met with the cobalt ones that belonged to the man she’d been fanaticizing about. They were suddenly very real and burning with the desire her own reflected.

  “Oh, Kate,” he muttered in a husky whisper before his lips crashed into hers.

  Caught up in the moments of her erotic dream that were fast becoming an even more passionate reality, Kate responded to his touch. Their mouths moved in perfect unison. His hand moved back down to clutch her bottom.

  Rich’s soft fingertips teased and tickled their way up her sides, slowly removed the straps of her tank top and quickly replaced them with gentle kisses. His tongue moved from her shoulder to her ear, leaving a trail of fire in its wake. “Are you sure you want this, Kate? ‘Cause if you let me go much further, I don’t think that I’ll be able to stop.” His breaths left his lungs in short puffs, escaping through parted lips.

  Her fingers weaved their way into his hair and tugged his head back gently so that they were looking into each other’s eyes. Uneven breathing filled the room around them. “Rich,” she panted, “don’t think, just feel.” His eyes sparkled and that damn sexy smirk of his sealed her fate. “Make love to me.”

  Now was not the time to think. Kate wanted to feel Rich, only Rich. Her heart needed him to love her. Her body needed him to make love to her. And her soul needed him to fill the empty feeling she had when he wasn’t near her.

  Rich sat up and urged her to follow his lead. His hands slid up her sides until they firmly held her face. His eyes smoldered, turning from aqua to the darkest navy, as he stroked her cheeks with his thumbs. “I love you, Kate. More than I have ever loved any woman in my life.”

  A knot formed in her throat at his declaration. Although she had feelings for this man, stronger feelings than she dared admit to herself, she couldn’t seem to voice the words that her heart had been chanting for far too long. “I know,” she whispered.

  His frustration was expressed in a groan while his hands made the messy hair on his head stand up on end. “Kate,” his voice was heartbreaking, “can’t you just say the words? You love me. I know it. You know it.” A gentle finger rested just beneath her chin and tipped her face upward so she was looking into the blue pools of need. “Tell me what you feel, Kate…please.”

  Confusion swam in her mind. She loved him. There was no way she could deny her feelings any longer—at least to herself—but she wasn’t ready to tell Rich that she loved him

  “What do you feel?” Rich croaked, breaths causing his chest to move as the air rushed in and out of his lungs.

  “I feel you,” she whispered, her lips caressed his slowly.

  Dark lashes rested on his cheeks as the muscles in his jaw clenched tight. His strong face was that of pure confusion, torn between eager contentment and overwhelming desire. “Kate,” he moaned as fingertips wrapped themselves around the hem of her shirt. His eyes opened, silently asking permission one last time.

  She nodded and lifted her arms over her head. Self consciousness caused her to bite her lip. What if he didn’t like what he…

  “Kate, you are beautiful.” His hands moved slowly over the newly exposed skin as he sucked in a breath through his teeth. “So very beautiful.”

  Rich dipped his head down and pressed his lips to her tender skin, causing her to gasp. Threading her fingers through his hair, Kate urged him to continue his exploration. Gentle kisses started on their path up her chest then turned frantic when they met her lips.

  Her hands drifted down his back, pausing at the cotton that would be coming off this time. She slid her fingers beneath the fabric. His skin was soft and the muscles of his rear were firm under her touch.

  Strong, eager fingers eased her pajama bottoms off and her panties soon followed. He grabbed her hips and stroked her stomach with his thumbs. His head lowered and she leaned up to meet his lips, willingly accepting all the passion in his kiss and releasing every ounce of the desire she’d ignored for so long.

  Their tongues battled for position as his arms wrapped her in a tight embrace, molding her body into his. In one fluid motion Rich took control, reversing their position with such ease it was barely noticeable. His kisses continued to devote attention to every inch of her neck and chest, bracing himself above her on his arms.

  His movements were slow as he made love to her. His soulful eyes stared at her with so much love that her own eyes started to water, overcome with the emotion flowing between them. Oh, Rich, I love you.

  This was more than a coming together of their bodies. It was a culmination of their hearts, their very souls. She closed her eyes and forced any thoughts from her mind. She wanted to concentrate on only one thing. Rich. Making love to him—with him—was perfect, a true joining of their spirits.

  Bliss consumed her in waves and she trembled beneath him, savoring his touch. Rich’s breathing stopped. His broad shoulders bunched, every muscle tensed, as pleasure shook him. He slumped over her for a moment, his breathing staggered. He lifted his head and his navy eyes smoldered while he leaned down to press an intense kiss to her lips. He slowly lowered himself to Kate’s side, cradling her against his body, kissing the back of her neck and bare shoulders. Heavy breaths against her skin caused a shiver to run down her spine and back up again.

  “You okay, love?” he asked huskily.

  “Um hum.” She snuggled even closer to him and crossed her arms over his. “That was incredible.” Her eyes closed as she tried to memorize how every inch of him felt against her.

  “I thought so, too. We won’t wait nearly as long for the next time.”

  Next time? Her heart jumped into her throat and tried to pound its way out. There was no way she could live without a next time, but… Jesse. Holy hell, what have I done? She closed her eyes and let Rich absorb some of the weight she was feeling. A sigh escaped her lips. She was content and contrite all at the same time.

  He shook her gently. “Come on, love. We’ll never get out of this room if you go to sleep because I won’t have the heart to wake you. As far as I’m concerned the real world could disappear forever, and we could stay in this bed until the end of time.” She could feel the smile on his lips as he pressed a kiss between her shoulder blades.

  She rolled toward him, allowing herself one more chaste kiss before begrudgingly pulling herself from his hold, taking the sheet with her. “I’ll be in the shower,” she mumbled.

  Steam started to billow over the top of the shower. After letting the sheet pool at her feet, Kate stepped under the hot water. The spray cascaded down her body and she poured some shampoo into the palm of her hand. Rubbing her hands together released the scent that was usually so relaxing.

  I trust you. I trust you. I trust you. Jesse’s words slammed into her like a battering ram.

  As the fluffy, white bubbles found their way to the drain, Kate’s intestines tied themselves into a knot. Her stomach threatened to heave the nothing that was in it, and her lungs refused to accept or release any air. The pounding of her heart was painful and she could almost feel it tearing in two, accentuating the horrible weight of what had happened bore down on her shoulders and caused her knees to wobble.

  Using t
he back of the shower as a guide, Kate slid down to rest on the floor, hoping to be able to gain some semblance of control. None came. She gave in to the excruciating emotions and let them have her. Wrapping her arms around her knees and pulling her legs into her chest, Kate sobbed.

  Her heart had been successfully divided. She was consumed with the guilt of what she had done to Jesse and how much her actions would devastate him. But remembering the stolen moments with Rich and imagining what a future could hold with him meant more to her than she dared even hope for.

  The shower door opened with pop, and Kate didn’t even look up as Rich stepped inside. His hands gripped her arms softly and he guided her to her feet. “Kate, I’m so sorry,” he whispered.

  Another sob broke free and her eyes met his. “And what exactly are you sorry for, Rich? Are you sorry you fell in love with me? Are you sorry we made love?”

  Comforting arms embraced her, and soft lips kissed her wet cheeks. “I am not sorry for loving you. Making love to you is something I want to experience again and again. I’m sorry you’re hurting. I would take it away if I could.” He kissed her lips.

  Rich simply held her as she cried out every last tear that wanted to fall, then he gently and devotedly washed every inch of her body, concentrating on her hair. His fingers massaged her scalp, easing the lather out of her hair. Turning off the water, he reached for a towel and wrapped it around her body.

  Kissing her nose and each cheek, he soothingly gave her a soft peck on her lips. “We’ll get through this, Kate. I’m here however you need me. I’ll let you get dressed.” He glanced down at all of his bare skin and smiled. “I need to get dressed too. I love you, Kate. I do not regret what happened between us and pray that you don’t either.” Another quick kiss, and then she was alone in the bathroom.

  Kate quickly got dressed and tried to do her hair and makeup without looking at the reflection of the guilty woman that would be staring back at her.