Up Close and Personal

by Kathryn Freeman

  ‘I did, didn’t I?’ He returned her smile before letting out a sigh and lowering the mug. ‘Honestly, I don’t know if my father wants to kill me. I only know he came out of prison at the weekend, and on Monday someone took a shot at me. The police believe the shooter was Lipstick Lady, so we may be worrying about nothing.’

  She searched his face. ‘You don’t believe that any more than I do.’

  His shoulders sagged a little. ‘I no longer know what to believe. When the notes first started to appear, I dismissed them, but as they became more sinister I started to wonder, what if?’ He looked over at her. ‘That’s when I was pleased, in a way, to get a bodyguard.’

  ‘Even if it was a messy, inexperienced one.’

  He smirked. ‘Even then.’ As fast as his smile had come, it vanished. ‘But my father was safely locked away in prison, and all the evidence pointed to the stalker being a female fan, so I kept quiet, figuring I was being paranoid. Now he’s out, and the timing for the shooting … well, it could work.’ He dragged a hand down his face. ‘To really answer your question, I saw … things as a child that I shouldn’t have done. My statement helped put my father away.’

  She experienced an alarming wrench on the heart she’d promised to be careful with. ‘I want to ask the question, but I’m not sure I can bear to hear the reply.’ When he didn’t volunteer anything, she placed a hand over his. ‘What did you see?’

  ‘What do you think I saw? I told you the type of guy he was. Of course, back then I thought he was a garage mechanic, so when school finished early and Mum wasn’t around to pick me up, I walked to the garage.’

  A shadow crossed his face and she clutched at his hand, her heart breaking for the boy who’d had his innocence, his childhood, snatched away from him. ‘You don’t have to tell me. Not if it’s too painful.’

  ‘I don’t want secrets between us.’ He stared down at their hands, then back up at her, his voice now flat and emotionless. ‘The door wasn’t fully closed so I peeked around it, expecting to find Dad with grease on his overalls and a spanner in his hand. Instead,’ he paused to swallow. ‘Instead I saw him with a knife in his hand, and blood on his shirt. A body at his feet, the throat cut.’

  Kat couldn’t stop the gasp that escaped. He’d seen things, horrific things, no ten-year-old should be subject to. And the mother he’d adored had been snatched away from him soon afterwards. So much for the privileged life she’d all but accused him of having.

  Suddenly Kat had a fierce desire to visit Helena and William and wrap her arms around them, because it was they who’d rescued him and turned Zac’s life around.

  ‘What happened then?’ She continued to hold tight to his hand, unwilling, unable to let him go.

  ‘I scarpered. Thankfully nobody had seen me, so I started to walk home.’ He gave her hand a gentle squeeze and stood up. ‘I must have looked a state because one of the other mums stopped and offered me a lift home.’ Picking up his dirty plate, he took it over to the dishwasher. She suspected it was so he wouldn’t have to look at her. ‘Of course, nobody was in, so she asked me where my mum worked and took me to the Edwards Estate. Helena answered the door, took one look at me, and immediately called for someone to get Mum.’ He smiled, though it didn’t quite reach his eyes. ‘Helena told me later that I’d scared the bejesus out of her. She’d never seen a face look as pale as mine. Apparently while she was waiting for Mum to come she kept looking for signs of a cut because she was sure I’d been bleeding to death.’

  ‘Dear God, Zac, the stuff you’ve lived through.’ Kat couldn’t put it into words how gutted she was for him, yet also how proud. ‘I can’t believe you’ve turned out so, well, normal.’

  He began to laugh. ‘You didn’t think that when you stuck your nose around my apartment.’

  ‘Oh my God, the teapot collection.’ Another fist seemed to wrap around her heart. ‘They weren’t Helena’s, of course they weren’t. They were your real mum’s.’

  ‘Yes.’ His eyes skimmed past hers and to the clock on the wall. ‘And now I need to get moving or I’ll be late on set.’

  ***

  He’d had enough of talking about his past. Though Zac had meant what he’d said, and he didn’t want any more secrets, he also didn’t want to be an object of pity for the woman he was more than halfway in love with.

  Kat jumped to her feet. ‘No way are you driving yourself to the studio when it’s likely someone out there wants you dead.’

  Tension caused every muscle in his body to tighten. ‘This isn’t your call anymore.’

  ‘Like hell it isn’t.’ She marched over to the hall and began to tug on her boots. ‘I’m driving you, no argument.’

  Now, he felt a fizz of anger, along with the tension. ‘I thank you for the offer but I’m perfectly capable of dialling a taxi and getting myself to work. I’m no longer your responsibility, Kat. Mark’s probably got your next client lined up already.’ He felt a stab of envy for the lucky sod she’d be assigned to. They’d get to spend far more time with her than he would.

  ‘I’ll phone him later and tell him I’m taking annual leave.’ Her chin jutted stubbornly towards him. ‘You might as well give in gracefully because this is going to happen.’

  He recalled her words from yesterday, about her fighting for the people she cared about. Was this desire to protect him a reflection of that, and not of how she saw him? It would be easier to believe if he hadn’t spent a good chunk of last night and this morning telling her about the worst part of him. The DNA he carried. The scared little boy who’d wet his pants when he’d seen his dad and the blood. So much blood.

  ‘Fine, I’ll come with you this morning.’ He’d yet to pick his car up from his place, and he was already running later than he liked.

  After bounding up the stairs to grab his wallet, he found her standing by the door, arms crossed, looking distinctly unhappy. ‘I’m not having this argument every morning. Please, let me do my job until this is really over.’

  Her eyes pleaded with him, yet none of this sat well. ‘I’m grateful you want to protect me still, I really am. But I don’t want you to see me as a job. Or as this … weak person who needs looking after.’ He touched her lips with his in a light kiss. ‘I want you to see me as a man, Kat.’

  Her gaze flew up to the ceiling and she let out a huffing noise. ‘You seriously think I see anything else when I look at you? Can I take you back to an hour ago, when we were in bed, and my hand was wrapped around your—’

  He silenced her with another kiss, one that got his blood thickening and his heart pumping. ‘I’m seconds away from saying forget the ruddy studio and hauling you back upstairs.’

  ‘Surely you wouldn’t do that, Mr Edwards.’ Her voice sounded breathless even as her eyes danced. ‘I know how much you hate being late.’

  ‘Don’t tempt me,’ he muttered, kissing her again. It was only years of discipline, years of making himself into the model son, that enabled him to finally break away.

  Later, in the car, he mulled over her words, beginning to realise the implications – the full implications – of what she’d said. ‘The part about you still doing your job.’

  She glanced over at him. ‘Yes?’

  ‘That means you drive me to work and back every day.’

  ‘Correct.’

  ‘And I still can’t open doors, go out by myself. Or sleep in my own bed.’

  ‘Still correct.’

  It was testament to how deeply he was falling for her that none of that bothered him now, whereas four weeks ago, it had made him livid.

  His next question didn’t just bother him though. It filled every nook and cranny of his mind so that nothing else mattered but her answer. ‘Does it also mean I can’t sleep in your bed?’

  He held his breath, every muscle fibre pulled tight. But then the glorious sound of her laughter echoed around the car. ‘I think that ship has sailed, don’t you?’ After indicating to turn into the studio, she gave him a brief sidelong
glance. ‘If you think I’ll be able to resist you now I’ve slept with you, you must think I’m a lot more stubborn, or a hell of a lot stronger, than I really am.’

  It wasn’t quite the Of course we’ll be sleeping together every night, try stopping me, he’d hoped for. But he’d take it over the alternative.

  Chapter 26

  It had all the hallmarks of a chilled Friday night. The three of them – Debs was back from her sleepover – were sat in the lounge, pizza (one without ‘slippery buggers’) in front of them, Avengers: Endgame showing on the TV.

  ‘Is this really the best that Walt Disney Studios has to offer?’

  Debs dragged her eyes away from the screen long enough to pull a face at Zac. ‘This is the best film, ever.’

  ‘It is?’ He reached for another slice of pizza, and Kat sniggered as she watched him carefully cut off the stringy cheese rather than leave it hanging so it would run down his chin, like a normal person. ‘Should I make sure to wear blue tights and a cape in my next film?’

  Debs gave him a big eye roll. ‘Superman isn’t Marvel, he’s DC Comics.’

  ‘Of course, he is. My mistake.’ He bit neatly into the pizza and then wiped his hands on one of the paper napkins the pizza company always provided, yet surely nobody ever used. His meticulous actions brought another smile to her face, but then she remembered their conversation yesterday. His tidy, careful actions might well be amusing, she’d even say charming, but the reason behind them, the desire of a twelve-year-old boy to fit into his new family, was heartbreaking. How many of his quirks stemmed from that desire not to be an outsider? Punctuality, manners. His overpreparation in going through his lines? And what about his insecurity, so surprising in such a talented, good-looking guy? He hid it well, but now she looked back at the way he’d treated her: Silverstone, The Ivy, the over-the-top picnic hamper. She’d thought it was a demonstration of their differences, but actually, they weren’t that different. They both came from troubled families. Flashing his money at her was perhaps simply his way of masking his need to feel accepted. To feel loved.

  Unconsciously she rubbed at the ache in her chest.

  ‘Indigestion?’ Zac gave her a smug smile. ‘That’s what you get for eating so fast.’

  ‘I like my food hot.’

  Debs started to giggle. ‘She likes her men hot, too.’

  Zac’s gaze shifted to Kat’s, his expression one of pained confusion. Does she mean me? she could see him asking. Does she know?

  Kat shrugged her shoulders before looking at her niece questioningly.

  ‘I’m not dumb. I knew there was stuff going on with you two, and then I spoke to Mum.’ Debs grinned. ‘She told me you’re now, you know—’

  Bonking, fucking, shagging. Kat realised with horror she had no idea what Debs was going to say.

  ‘Dating,’ Zac cut in. ‘Your aunt and I are dating.’ He glanced down at the pizza, and then at the television screen. ‘Though I’ll be happier taking her on a date that doesn’t involve comic characters or food eaten from a cardboard box.’

  Debs frowned. ‘But I thought they caught the stalker?’

  ‘They have,’ Kat reassured her. God, this was awkward. ‘We thought it would be safer for Zac to stay here for a few more days, just in case there’s more than one person who might want to … harm him.’

  Zac cleared his throat and stood up. ‘Excuse me a minute.’ He glanced towards the TV. ‘No need to pause the film. I think I can just about keep up with the plot.’

  She watched as he walked towards the stairs in that elegant, fluid gait that was so ridiculously sexy.

  ‘Is he okay?’

  ‘You know what, I’m not sure. You carry on watching the film. I’ll go and check.’

  Debs smirked. ‘Is that like another way of saying you’re going to go and—’

  ‘No.’ Kat shook her head. ‘Watch the film. Eat pizza.’

  She found Zac sitting on his bed – crap, she was starting to think of it as his, and not Mandy’s – his shoulders hunched forward, eyes staring at the floor.

  ‘Hey.’

  He jerked upright and gave her a small smile. ‘I thought you were watching the best film, ever.’

  Concerned, she went to sit next to him. ‘I thought you were, too.’

  ‘Technically, I was watching a Marvel film. The best film ever—’

  ‘Isn’t what I’m interested in at the moment.’ She reached for his hand and clasped it in hers. ‘What’s wrong?’

  He huffed out a laugh. ‘What’s wrong? I’m sitting eating pizza on my lap on a Friday night with a woman I’m falling in love with, yet I can’t take her out. Worse, she’s forced to look after me out of some vague notion that I’m in danger, and though I want to dismiss that, I also know my father’s out of prison, and two days after his release, someone tried to shoot me. On top of all that, Debs is only fourteen, and she doesn’t know what’s happening. On one level that feels right, because I don’t want to scare her, but on another level that feels so very wrong, because if I am in danger, isn’t me staying here putting her in danger, too? Putting you both in danger?’

  ‘Wow, that’s a lot of words for a guy who’s usually so measly with them.’

  He let out a long, deep sigh, closing his eyes for a moment before looking straight into hers. ‘I don’t feel in control of anything right now. Not my life, not my feelings.’

  A woman I’m falling in love with. She tried to think back to his other points, but her mind wouldn’t budge from those words. It wasn’t the first time he’d said them, but she’d brushed over them before. No woman believes what a guy says during sex. This time there was no convenient excuse. This time she had to listen, and she had to act, because he couldn’t do this, couldn’t fall in love with her. God, the thought of hurting this man who’d suffered so much, tore her in two. Yet if she didn’t find a way to get him to slow down, she was going to.

  With care, and a gentleness she hadn’t realised she possessed, Kat cradled his face in her hands. ‘Stop overthinking this. We’re eating pizza and watching a movie. It’s what most people do on a Friday night.’

  His smile was achingly sad. ‘It’s not that simple.’

  ‘It can be, if you let it.’ And she needed it to be that simple, because if she thought too deeply about what he’d said, both the falling in love and the putting them in danger, she’d feel panicked, too.

  ‘Okay.’ He drew in a breath, then gave her a weak smile. ‘Maybe it will help if you kiss me.’

  ‘You think?’ She gave him a platonic peck on the lips. ‘How’s that?’

  ‘Not quite what I was aiming for.’ This time he took over. With one hand behind her head, the other resting gently on her face, he proceeded to kiss her until her heart was pounding, her insides melting, and she was ready to climb into bed with him and beg him to finish the job. ‘Now that,’ he breathed when he finally let her go. ‘That is how you stop me thinking.’

  ***

  The film had finished, the pizza had been eaten, and Debs had gone off to her room. Zac stretched out his legs and tried to ignore the discarded pizza boxes. He’d already gone to pick them up twice, and both times Kat, who was now lying across him, had told him to leave them.

  ‘You’re looking at them again, aren’t you?’ She prodded his too-full stomach. ‘This is like therapy for you. You’re not allowed to pick them up until tomorrow morning.’

  ‘Tomorrow?’

  His face must have signalled his horror, because she let out a big, booming laugh. ‘Oh my God, Zac, it’s not that terrible.’ She waggled her eyebrows at him. ‘And I bet I can think of a few ways to make you forget they’re there.’

  As arousal pulsed through him, he felt a buzzing against his thigh. ‘Is that you vibrating with excitement, or me?’

  ‘Who would call at ten o’clock on a Friday night?’ With an annoyed huff she sat upright and pulled her phone out of her pocket, her face turning from scowl to frown when she read the screen. ‘Hi
Mark.’

  Immediately Zac shifted. He wasn’t going to sit here and listen to her talk to the guy, no matter how platonic the relationship was. But when he moved to stand up, she pushed him down again. ‘Yes, he’s here with me.’ A pause and he tried to read the expression on her face. All he could make out was confusion and worry. ‘Sure, we’ll see you soon.’ Ending the call, she looked his way. ‘I don’t know what’s going on. Only that the police called Vision Films to get hold of you, and Jerry called Mark, and he’s coming over. With a detective.’

  A chill went through him, but he tried to smile through the fear. ‘As you said, just your average Friday night.’

  Sympathy edged into her eyes. ‘Okay, maybe it’s taken a turn, but we had a few hours, at least.’

  ‘Indeed.’ He could feel the knots in his stomach tightening. ‘At least I can tidy up the pizza boxes now.’ Though even that had lost its appeal. Who gave a fuck about pizza boxes when the police had such a serious message to deliver, they were coming round on a Friday night?

  ‘Oh no you can’t, it will ruin all that therapy. I’ll do it.’ Kat jumped up and started to pick them up. ‘You sit there and …’

  ‘Panic quietly?’

  He received another sympathetic glance. ‘I was going to say sit there and look pretty, but you can do both, if you like.’

  The words didn’t do much for his ego, implying he had about as much use as a blasted ornament. ‘They’ve come to see me,’ he said to her retreating back as she carried the boxes into the kitchen. ‘You don’t have to stick around.’

  ‘Oh, right. Thanks for the let-off.’ She walked back towards him, eyes flashing with annoyance. ‘I’ll just go upstairs and what, wash my hair?’

  ‘I didn’t mean it like that.’ Clearly fear and frustration were poor companions. ‘Just that I’m not your damn responsibility.’

  ‘No, you’re not, though apparently, according to what you told Debs, you are my damn boyfriend.’ She seemed to catch herself. ‘Well, sort of, in a loose sense. Anyway, I want to be here, okay?’