Up Close and Personal

by Kathryn Freeman

  ‘Boyfriend, huh?’ Why, considering everything that was going on, did he suddenly feel the urge to smile?

  She raised her eyes to the ceiling. ‘Look, you don’t have to stress about the term. You told Debs we were dating, and dating’s what girlfriends and boyfriends do, so I guess it just came out.’

  ‘I like how it came out.’ He rose from the sofa and went to stand next to her, clasping her hands in his. ‘I like thinking of you as my girlfriend.’ After giving her a soft kiss, he drew his gaze up to her eyes. ‘Do you like thinking of me as your boyfriend?’

  Her eyes refused to meet his, and his heart began a slow shrivel in his chest. He was racing ahead, telling her he wanted a relationship, admitting he was falling in love with her. She hadn’t come out of the starting blocks yet.

  The clang of the doorbell crashed through the silence. As she went to answer it, he realised none of it really mattered, because he had a terrible feeling he knew what the police needed to see him so urgently about. And if he was right, there was no way he could stick around Kat any longer. No way on God’s earth.

  Chapter 27

  Kat led Mark and the detective into the living room, but decided to stand. It gave her a feeling of equality, compared to sitting down like the little woman.

  You sit there and look pretty. Her words to Zac a few moments ago reared back at her, and shame rolled through her. He had to have known it was a joke, surely? But then she’d gone and refused to answer his comment about being her boyfriend. Hell, she’d not even had the decency to look him in the eye. She was failing this incredible man left, right and centre, and just at a time when he really needed her.

  The realisation was agonising. So, she was terrified of a relationship. Big bloody deal. What she was doing to him wasn’t only unfair, it was cruel. It was time to be honest with him and admit why she was the world’s biggest coward when it came to giving away her heart.

  But that talk would have to wait. From the way Mark was giving her a hard, searching look, and the way the police detective was clearing his throat, there were more important things to focus on.

  ‘Please, go ahead.’ She smiled at the detective. ‘My niece is upstairs but she’s in the middle of an online game with her friends so I’m sure she won’t disturb us.’

  The guy glanced from her, to Zac and back to her, and she realised he was wondering why she was there.

  ‘Whatever you need to say, you can say it in front of Kat.’ A wry smile crossed Zac’s face. ‘She’ll only drag it out of me the moment you’re gone, so she might as well hear it first-hand.’

  Seemingly satisfied, the detective turned to Zac. ‘We received some information from our colleagues in Birmingham earlier today which we believe has direct relevance to you. A man by the name of Frank Sterling was found murdered in his house this morning.’

  Zac hung his head before placing his hands over his face.

  ‘I’m guessing by your reaction that you know why we’re here.’

  With what looked to be considerable effort, Zac slowly straightened. ‘How …’ He cleared his throat and tried again. ‘How was he murdered?’

  ‘A bullet to his head.’

  Zac swallowed. ‘Not a slit throat.’

  ‘No. More like a professional hitman.’

  The blood drained from Zac’s face. ‘You think … fuck.’ He reared back, slumping against the back of the sofa. ‘You think my father put a hit on him?’

  ‘We do.’

  Dread, cold and sick, pooled in Kat’s stomach. ‘Who was this guy? Why do you think your dad would want him killed?’

  Zac looked to the police detective, presumably giving him permission to talk.

  ‘Frank Sterling was a drug dealer who used to work for Jimmy McCarthy. He gave evidence at the trial. According to Sterling’s statement, he’d gone into the back of the garage to pick up a fresh load of supplies when he heard shouting. He saw McCarthy slit the guy’s throat and freaked out. Fearing he might be next on the list, he went straight to the police and gave a statement.’

  ‘And now he’s dead.’ Fear rose again, clawing at her with painfully sharp nails. It didn’t take a genius to work out what that might mean for Zac.

  ‘It might be he was killed for another reason. He was dealing again, so maybe a rival gang wanted him out of the way.’

  ‘But it’s likely he was shot on demand. My father’s retaliation.’ Zac’s voice was hard and emotionless.

  ‘Yes.’

  Mark, who’d been quiet up until now, spoke into the grim silence. ‘Vision Films have renewed the contract with us. From now on we’ll be working with the police and providing round the clock security.’

  ‘Fine.’ Zac kept his focus on Mark. ‘I’ll need a secure place to stay, starting from tonight.’

  ‘We have a flat free now.’

  ‘Good. I also want to be assigned another bodyguard.’

  Mark raised his eyebrows. ‘As well as Kat?’

  ‘Instead of Kat.’

  She froze. ‘Why?’

  Though she willed him to look at her, Zac ignored her question, instead directing his own at Mark. ‘Will that be possible?’

  When Mark nodded, yes, Kat felt like she’d been sucker punched. All the breath left her lungs and she struggled to fill them again. How could Zac claim to be falling for her when he didn’t trust her enough, respect her enough, to help him now that they knew the danger was horribly real?

  Yet as the pain threatened to overwhelm her, she reminded herself how badly she’d let down the last person she’d cared for. The last man she’d fallen head over heels in love with. It hurt, boy did it hurt, but maybe it was better this way.

  ‘I’ll pack up my things.’

  Dimly she was aware of Zac standing and climbing the stairs. Of the detective having a last few words with Mark before giving her a nod of acknowledgement and leaving the house.

  ‘You look like you’ve seen a ghost.’ Mark came to stand next to her, his eyes scrutinising her face.

  The idea made her want to laugh – a hollow, bitter laugh. ‘Maybe I have.’

  He frowned, squeezing her arm, the gesture both gentle and compassionate. ‘Talk to me.’

  ‘I don’t need to.’ She couldn’t handle his kindness right now. Not when she still had Zac upstairs, getting ready to leave her. She’d get through that, then she’d shed a tear. In private. ‘You know what I’m thinking. You’ve told me how stupid it would be for me to get involved with another guy, especially if that guy was about to get himself shot.’ Oh crap, she hadn’t meant to say that.

  Mark sighed. ‘You crossed the line with him after all, didn’t you?’

  ‘No. Sort of.’ She huffed. ‘Oh, for God’s sake, I slept with him, that’s all. And only after the contract was terminated.’

  Mark’s hand wrapped more firmly around the top of her arm, his expression more sad than angry. ‘I’m not calling into question your professionalism. I’m looking out for you, as a friend. I want to know if you’ve developed feelings for him, and he for you?’

  ‘You don’t have to worry on that score. Whatever has gone on is clearly in the past. He doesn’t even trust me to protect him anymore.’

  ‘It’s not a question of trust.’ Zac, jacket on, bag in hand, looked cool and disgustingly handsome as he stared at her from across the open-plan living area.

  ‘No? The moment the danger is terrifyingly real, you decide my house isn’t good enough for you. I’m not good enough for you?’

  The muscle in his jaw seemed to be working overtime as he strode towards them, his eyes flicking down to where Mark continued to hold her arm. ‘That’s nonsense and you know it. I can’t possibly stay here now. It would put you and Debs right in the bloody crosshairs.’ He turned to Mark. ‘I’m ready to go.’

  Mark nodded. ‘Okay. Wait here while I check outside.’

  As Mark slipped out, the tension between her and Zac grew more and more taut.

  Finally, Zac cleared his throat.
‘Would you say goodbye to Debs for me. Please.’

  ‘Is that goodbye, goodbye or just, you know, goodbye for now and maybe I’ll see you again sometime if I have a spare few minutes and nothing to do?’

  ‘Stop it.’ His green eyes flashed angrily at her. ‘You’re well aware this isn’t what I want. I’m trying to do the right thing.’ Another emotion came and went in his eyes, something tormented and raw. ‘I’m trying to keep you both safe.’

  Mark bounded back up to the door. ‘You’re good to go.’

  Zac nodded, and with one final searing glance at her, he followed Mark out.

  Kat quietly shut the door. Then slipped onto the floor and let the tears fall.

  ***

  Zac lay on the strange bed, in the soulless room, in the tiny apartment, and felt his heart shatter. The place was as far removed from Kat’s cluttered, homely house as was possible to be. A police officer was positioned outside, which was meant to reassure him, but actually only put the fear of God into him. It was one thing the film company paying a security company because they wanted to protect their asset. Quite another knowing the police were worried enough for his safety, they were prepared to spare some very stretched resource on protecting him.

  It was after midnight when Mark knocked on the door and let himself in. The same Mark who, only a few hours ago, had held Kat’s arm in a proprietary manner that had triggered Zac’s jealousy radar. He’d wanted to snatch the hand away and tell him never to touch her again, Kat was his girl. Yet she’d declined to call him her boyfriend so he was, in fact, only a guy she’d slept with. And yes, he’d overheard her telling Mark exactly that.

  Except there had to be more, didn’t there, because why else had she been so livid at him for leaving?

  Because she thinks you don’t trust her, professionally. He sighed, running a weary hand across his face. Yeah, there was that.

  ‘I’ve brought some basics to keep you going,’ Mark shouted from the living area cum kitchen cum only other room in the place.

  Zac levered himself off the bed and went to meet him, staring into the bag Mark had placed on the kitchen worktop. There were food essentials – milk, bread, cheese, fruit – along with toothpaste, deodorant, shower gel and a few magazines.

  ‘Thanks.’ He mustered a weak smile, reminding himself none of this was Mark’s fault.

  ‘Have you any plans for the weekend?’ Mark asked, his manner business-like. ‘Anywhere you need to be?’

  It was only then Zac realised tomorrow was Saturday. Marvellous. ‘I’ve got a charity function Sunday night that I need to be at.’ Other than that, he had the choice of being bored to death within these four walls, or going out and literally facing death. If he decided to take the second option, it wouldn’t even be Kat trailing around with him, because he’d dismissed her – that’s how she’d taken it, though it was far, far from how he’d intended it.

  ‘Is that all?’

  ‘A workout at the studio gym tomorrow would be good.’ How had lifting weights become the highlight of his weekend? ‘If I can be picked up around ten?’

  ‘Fine. It’ll be me or a guy called Simon. He’ll have ID on him and I’ll text you in the morning to confirm. Anything else you need?’

  Kat. Her name hovered in his mind, in his heart. He needed her right now more than he’d ever needed anyone. Just a dose of her calm, her funniness. Even her anger would be better than this emptiness. ‘No, I’m good. Thanks.’

  ‘Okay then. See you tomorrow.’

  Mark headed towards the door and Zac felt the silence, the oppressive loneliness, start to close in around him. ‘Wait.’ Mark halted, turning expectantly, and suddenly Zac didn’t know what to say.

  ‘Yes?’

  ‘Sorry, I just …’ Feel horribly lonely, and you’re the closest thing I have to Kat, so I need you to stay a while? Words he could never admit. ‘Will Kat be assigned another client?’

  ‘It’s what she does, so yes.’

  Of course, it was. Dumb question, born of weariness, of fear, of an ache in his chest. ‘You’re aware that my asking for someone else isn’t a reflection on her ability.’

  ‘I’m aware she’s damn good at her job, yes.’

  The edge to Mark’s voice told Zac all he needed to know. ‘Is she aware you’re in love with her?’

  Mark reared back, his usually phlegmatic face showing signs of shock. ‘Where the fuck did that come from?’

  ‘You probably think it’s none of my business, except that I’m also in love with her, so that makes it my business.’

  Zac had a sense that Mark didn’t know whether to punch him, or commiserate with him. ‘I’m not discussing this.’

  Zac laughed humourlessly. ‘You think I want to?’ He leant against the wall, feeling dragged down by tiredness. ‘Look, if there’s history between you, that’s nothing to do with me. But if it’s not consigned to the past, I want to know.’

  Mark made a scoffing noise. ‘If you think she’s sleeping with us both, you don’t know her at all.’

  ‘I know she’s sleeping with me.’ He wasn’t a man prone to one-upmanship, but he enjoyed saying it. ‘I want to keep it that way.’ Though I’d like to know if I’m about to get my heart pulverised.

  ‘You’d better not get yourself killed, then.’ Mark gave him a flinty stare. ‘And if you hurt her, I might have to kill you myself.’ He marched to the door and let himself out without a backward glance.

  Though Zac wanted to dislike the guy, he found he could only respect a man who carried a torch for the same woman he loved. And yes, he was no longer falling in love. He’d already fallen.

  Chapter 28

  Debs slung her overnight bag onto her shoulder. ‘Come on, Aunty Kat. It’s lame to be late.’

  Kat paused, in panicked search of her car keys, to give her niece a glare. ‘Who told you that?’

  ‘Zac. Well, he didn’t say lame, more like one of those fancy words he uses, like “It’s good manners.” Oh no, wait, he used an even posher word. “It’s correct etiquette,” I think he said.’

  ‘Did he now.’ She tried to be annoyed, to tell herself he’d been taking a swipe at her. All she felt though, was a huge pang in her chest.

  ‘It’s weird without him.’ Debs shuffled the bag’s strap further up her shoulder. ‘Like, I dunno, too quiet.’

  She shrugged her shoulders, clearly as baffled as Kat as to why their Saturday morning hadn’t felt the same. It wasn’t as if Zac had been a noisy housemate. He’d spent a lot of time in his room – damn and blast, in Mandy’s room – reading lines.

  She’d known he was there, though. And when she’d offered him a drink, he’d given her that heart stopping smile. The one that made every part of her tingle.

  Shoving the thought aside, she reached down the back of the sofa. ‘Bingo, found them.’ Clutching at the keys, she walked with Debs to the door. ‘You’re sure you’re okay with this?’

  Debs rolled her eyes. ‘Duh. Anna’s mum is going to drop us off at the shops. You’ve given me money to spend, then a few others are coming over for a sleepover, and Anna’s mum and dad said we can put the tent up in the garden if we want. Sunday we’re going to the lido. It’s going to be epic.’

  Kat’s niggle of guilt receded a little. She wanted to be there for her niece while Mandy was still in rehab, but she couldn’t deny she also wanted to be there for Zac. She’d gone through his last words to her over and over, and now wondered if she’d got it spectacularly wrong yesterday. Maybe it wasn’t that he didn’t trust her, as he’d stiffly pointed out. More that he really did want to keep her out of harm’s way.

  Though the thought still made her bristle – she wasn’t a woman who needed to be mollycoddled – it also made this burning need to see him, the one that had kept her up all night, even more acute.

  After dropping Debs off at Anna’s parents’ house and showering them with thanks for letting her niece stay for the weekend and for taking her to school on Monday, Kat messaged Mark.r />
  Is he back from the gym?

  Immediately a message came back.

  Just dropped him off. He’s taking a shower so you might want to leave it a few minutes. Or not.

  A smile snuck up on her as she remembered the shower she’d taken with Zac. It slipped when she read Mark’s second message.

  Are you sure it’s a good idea?

  With a sigh, she typed back:

  No.

  A good idea was to take yesterday as goodbye and forget all about him. That way she could protect both of them. It was also cowardly. She’d been too blindsided by what she’d seen as his rejection last night to think straight. This morning her head was clearer, and she couldn’t just leave things the way they were.

  Taking a deep breath, she added:

  But I’m doing it anyway.

  Fifteen minutes later she nodded to the officer guarding the corridor and rang on the bell to the company flat.

  ‘Yes?’

  She’d forgotten how low and sexy Zac’s voice was. ‘It’s Kat.’

  Silence. It started to unnerve her and by the time he finally opened the door, her heart was hammering so much she felt like she might be sick. That was until she saw his face; the surprise but also the unbridled joy. A joy he couldn’t seem to mask, much as he was trying to.

  ‘What brings you here?’

  ‘Am I allowed in? Or is that honour only for those with the correct visitation rights?’

  He pulled the door further open and it was only then that she took in the rest of him. Hair still wet, bare chested, he wore only a pair of less than immaculate jeans, their top button still undone. The scent of shower gel clung to his skin.

  Her hormones started to jiggle. Suited and booted Zac Edwards was exquisitely gorgeous, but hastily put together Zac Edwards was sex personified.

  He seemed to notice she was staring, because he reached to do up the button on his jeans. ‘Sorry. I’d only just stepped out of the shower.’

  There was a joke to be made, but Kat’s tongue was still stuck on the roof of her mouth. It was only when she walked past him and into the small living area that she finally managed to unglue it. ‘You didn’t need to dress on my account. I’m used to seeing you in a towel.’