by J. C. Burke
Suddenly Georgie was on her feet. She pushed Ace away and elbowed her arm out of Jake's grip. She grabbed her coat from off the table and ran.
There was total silence. This room that two minutes ago had been pumping and swaying with girls singing and laughing was dead quiet.
Now it was Ace who was bright red in the face. 'What is up with her?' she mouthed to me.
I shrugged.
It couldn't still be about Ace reading the diary, could it? Micki wasn't going on about it so why should Georgie? It wasn't Georgie's diary that Ace read, even though from the way Georgie acted it seemed like it sometimes.
It couldn't be Georgie's surfing that was bothering her. It was never her surfing.
That's what it was! This mood swing was connected to her sneaking out this afternoon. Why did I always see it when it was too late?
I went over to Carla. 'I think I should go and see if Georgie's okay.'
'Thanks, Kia,' Carla answered. 'That'd be great.'
'Should we . . . ?' Ace gestured to herself and Micki.
'No,' I replied. 'I'll go by myself. I know how to handle her.'
I left the rec room, strode down the corridor and up the walkway to the bungalow. I had just got my periods. It was a raaaather big deal on its own, let alone being at a camp where the national selections started tomorrow. But that was okay. Action was called for.
Georgie was howling. She was face down on the bed, holding on to her pillow and sobbing so hard the springs of the bed quivered.
'Georgie?' I knelt on the floor next to her. 'Georgie, what is it?'
I was almost too afraid to touch her. Never in the whole ten years I'd known Georgie had I seen her like this. Carefully, I reached out my hand and touched her hair. 'Georgie? Talk to me. You're scaring me. What's happened?'
Muffled words rose from the pillow.
'You're what?' I leant over her, trying to catch what she was saying. 'You're horrible? Is that what you said?'
The springs of the mattress shook as Georgie nodded her head.
'You're not horrible,' I said.
'Yes, I am!' Georgie bleated.
I walked around the other side of the bed where I could see her face. 'What's happened? Talk to me.'
'I can't.'
'Why not?'
'Because I just can't.'
'Has something bad happened?'
'No and yes.'
That didn't give me any clues. 'This is about you sneaking out this arvo, isn't it?'
Georgie didn't answer. She just lay there. Curled up on the edge of the bed letting the tears stream down her cheeks.
'Georgie, you know everything about me. You know all my secrets. You know everything I hate about myself. So – so why won't you tell me what's wrong? You can trust me. I've had to trust you before and you didn't let me down. Why is it different with me?'
'But what about the no secrets, no lies promise we made that night?' she whispered. 'If I tell you, then that means we'll have a secret and you'll have to tell lies, Kia. So it's better that I don't. Besides, you don't want to know, believe me.'
This was the first time I'd ever known Georgie to have something to hide. She wasn't like me. She didn't have secrets that she dreaded being discovered.
It was odd, as if she'd suddenly switched places with someone else, a girl who looked and sounded just like Georgie but wasn't. I wanted to reach over and pull the mask off this impostor's face.
'Georgie, we can make this just between you and me. You didn't tell the others about me cutting myself again, even though it broke the pact between the Starfish Sisters.'
'Quit the Starfish Sisters thing, Kia!' Georgie suddenly snapped.
I snapped back: 'Why are you so anti the Starfish Sisters?'
'Because we're over!' Georgie's lips looked like a shrivelled-up sultana. Speaking the words 'Starfish Sisters' had her looking like she'd swallowed poison. 'We don't exist anymore.'
'Why? 'Cause Ace read Micki's diary?'
'Yes!'
'But Micki's not going on about it.'
'That's because Micki's tough and she doesn't – she doesn't show what she feels.'
'So? So what happens now?'
'I'm sorry, Kia,' Georgie offered before bursting into tears again. 'Take this as my resignation. As from today I'm no longer a Starfish Sister. You wouldn't want me as one anyway.'
'Georgie, I don't understand what's happening. You speak in some secret code and I'm not smart enough to figure it out.' I plonked myself next to her. 'Please tell me what it is. Let me keep a secret for you for a change. Please?'
Georgie uncurled herself and wiggled her way up the bed. She held out her hand, an invitation for me to enter the unknown. I took her hand and she squeezed it.
'Don't hate me, Kia.'
I shrugged. There were many times I'd thought I hated Georgie. There were many times I'd wanted to. But Georgie wasn't an easy person to hate.
'I went up the street to meet Jules,' Georgie said. 'He asked me to meet him.'
'So that's where you went.'
'I had no idea what it was about, but . . .' Georgie's big eyes looked up at me and they were smiling. 'Jules likes me. He really likes me, and I really like him.'
'But . . . but . . . Ace?'
'He wanted to break up with her anyway.'
'Georgie, are you joking?'
'Noooo,' Georgie groaned. 'Do I look like I'm joking?'
Something was wrong. My ears couldn't have been sending the right message to my brain, or the other way around, however it worked. The system was currently faulty because I wasn't hearing this right. 'Georgie, are you . . . ?'
'Kia, I know what you're thinking. How could I do this to Ace, she's my friend, she's – she's – '
'She's Jules's girlfriend.'
Georgie covered her face with her hands.
'Georgie? Georgie, I can't believe you'd do this. I – I just don't get it. You and Jules? This – this is like a million times worse than Ace reading Micki's diary.'
'Not – not necessarily,' Georgie stammered.
I didn't bother saying anything back to that. What would Georgie know? She'd lost her mind.
'Is Jules going to dump Ace? Is that the story?' I asked. 'While Ace is here trying to deal with all the pressure of making the team? Is that what's going to happen? 'Cause that's really, really unfair. I mean, did you – did you think of that?'
'Jules has to go away for a baseball game.' A tiny smile glittered on Georgie's face as she said the word 'Jules'. I wanted to slap her. 'Which is probably the best thing,' she added.
I got off the bed and started to walk up and down the room. 'This is bad. Really bad. Jules and you just can't get together. Jules can't dump Ace when she's in the middle of one of the most important things she's ever –'
'You're right,' Georgie said, standing up too. 'You're absolutely right, Kia. I'll tell Jules.'
'Are you going off to tell him now?'
'No,' she answered. 'I'm going to have a shower. I feel like crap.'
'What will I tell the others? Everyone'll want to know why you stormed out of karaoke.'
'Tell them – tell them that the song "Friends Forever" makes me too sad.' Georgie marched into the bathroom. 'Tell them anything,' she called behind her before slamming the door shut.
Georgie was mad with me. But what had I done? What did she expect me to say? 'Yeah, take Ace's boyfriend, that's fine. Ace won't mind. It's great news.' What I really, reeeally wanted to say to Georgie was, ' How could you?'
I tapped on the bathroom door.
'Yeah?'
'I'm going back up to the rec room.'
'Okay.'
'No, it's not,' I whispered. Now I was the chicken, too scared to say it out loud. 'It's not okay.' I walked out.
No karaoke singers were screeching through the doors of the rec room. Georgie's tantrum had silenced the entire building. That's the kind of effect a strong girl like Georgie could have.
When we were thirteen
, we'd competed in a huge surf contest in Newcastle, near Sydney. We were like a couple of little no ones from some town up the coast. At least, that's how I'd felt.
Georgie and I both made it through to the second round, which was due to start at 11.05 am. But at eleven am the siren blew for the heat to begin. And where were Georgie and I? We were still at the check-in table waiting to get our rashies from the beach marshals.
Georgie went off! She totally lost it. It was wrong. It was unfair. The contestants should be disqualified and the heat rescheduled. She said all kinds of stuff and the officials took every word seriously. A beach marshal even went and found one of the contest coordinators and they did exactly what Georgie said. They called the surfers in and rescheduled the heat.
I still have this snapshot in my head, of Georgie in her green wetsuit and two pigtails, throwing her arms around as she complained and a group of grown-ups standing in a little circle, listening. If I'd done that, they would've gone, 'What's this kid going on about?', or not even heard me at all.
It was different with Georgie. She was strong. She could have that kind of effect and that's what I was afraid of.
'Kia.' Shyan beckoned me into the rec room. 'I'm glad you're back. You're just in time.'
The girls were all writing on small white cards. Shyan's treasure box was sitting on the table with its lid open, waiting to swallow up our hopes and dreams.
Ace was sitting next to Laura, staring at the ceiling and chewing her pen. She didn't have a clue that a part of her hopes and dreams had just been stolen by someone she trusted. It took a lot of self-control not to go up and hug her.
'Kia, put down your three goals for this camp,' Shyan instructed me. 'The three things you want to achieve. It doesn't matter how big or small they are.'
Steph put up her hand. 'Shyan, do they all have to be about surfing?'
'No. They're your goals, Steph. So they're whatever you want them to be,' Shyan explained. 'But remember, on the last night you'll get to read them again. So I guess they have to be relevant to the next five days.'
Micki was already slipping her card into an envelope. She came up to the table and dropped it in the treasure box. 'How's Georgie?'
'I think she's just feeling the pressure,' I whispered to Micki. 'It all got too much.'
I had decided that was the excuse I was going to give for Georgie. Or was that a lie too? Who knew?
Georgie had taken lies and promises into a whole new territory. Liking, let alone stealing, someone else's boyfriend had to be the worst offence you could commit and I – the keeper of that secret, the promoter of those lies – had become part of it too.
The white card sat between my fingers. The first two goals were easy to figure.
1. I make the National Team.
2. Micki, Georgie and Ace also make the team.
Maybe mine were more like dreams and not goals. Too bad, that's what I wanted to achieve. Anything else would be making up what I thought I was meant to write. Besides, you didn't have to read them out on the last night; that bit was optional.
My pen circled around the number three. I didn't want to waste my last goal on anything to do with my periods, like making it through the rest of the week without a big, red disaster.
What I wanted to put for number three was that the Georgie and Jules thing would fizzle into nothing, plus Georgie would take back her stupid Starfish Sisters resignation and go back to being normal.
But I couldn't exactly write that. I mean, I could but I was too scared. Instead I settled for:
3. The Starfish Sisters stay strong and stick together.
Because that was the same.
MICKI
Kia's shriek just about shattered the window next to my bed. I covered my mouth and looked over at Georgie, whose face was screwed up like a bit of paper from the garbage bin.
'It always hurts the first time,' Georgie said to me. 'After that it's okay.'
'Please, even that's too much information,' I replied.
I didn't have my periods and as far as I was concerned, they could take as long as they liked. Me and blood were not compatible.
Kia and Ace emerged from the bathroom. Ace had been giving instructions to Kia through the shower door. That arrangement took about an hour to negotiate 'cause poor Kia was so embarrassed. But it was like Ace couldn't get it. She kept saying, 'We're all girls, Kia, we're all the same.'
Was she wrong there!
'That wasn't so bad, was it?' Georgie asked a white-looking Kia, who'd just shuffled out of the bathroom.
'She went well,' answered Ace.
Kia's face squirmed. 'When do I have to do that again?'
'Probably after breakfast,' Ace answered. 'You can't leave tampons in for more than a few hours or you can get sick.'
'I know. I know.' Kia gulped. 'So, this is what having your periods is like. Great! To think I was wanting them. It's strange the things we want.'
I didn't have the foggiest what that was meant to mean. But Kia shot Georgie a look and the skin on Georgie's face began to burn.
'What's the day like?' I said, pulling back the blind. A shard of golden light was sticking through a grey sky and an icy breeze rattled through the gaps around the window sill.
A Swiss ball class was the first activity of the morning. That'd have us hot and sweating and begging for the fans to be turned on. From then on the rest of the time was surfing, surfing, surfing as they were trying us out in different team combinations.
The thing to look forward to would be the long hot shower at the end of the day. I loved feeling my toes defrost and uncurl like I was transforming from a fish back to a human.
When I was little, Dad used to say that he found me in the sea and that Mum used to be a mermaid. For years I'd thought that was why I had such long hair. I realise now that Dad probably just forgot to have it cut or didn't want to spend the money.
Every time I thought like that I wanted to slap myself across the face. He tried to be a good dad. I know he did. He just couldn't help himself. And now he was all alone.
'What's wrong, Micki?' Georgie asked.
'Huh?'
'You just did a really loud sigh.'
'Did I?'
'You okay?' Georgie mouthed.
I nodded. I'd make sure that didn't happen again. Sometimes Miss Micki could get a bit too comfortable here.
Ace was still fussing around Kia. She was fully into the big sister role. 'I'm on breakfast clean-up. So if you want me to wait in the bathroom again, I can.'
'I'll be fine,' Kia murmured in a voice that said – I so don't believe that. 'I'm just scared I won't get it in far enough.'
This was making my skin crawl.
Kia walked around the room like a robot. 'I can sort of feel it,' she said.
'But it doesn't feel like it's about to drop out?' said Ace.
'Pleeeease!' I squealed, slapping my hands over my ears. 'Can you have this conversation somewhere else? I'm not up to this.'
'Yet,' Kia reminded me.
'Micki, this'll be you one day,' Ace added.
Talk to the hand, I wanted to say. You'll be the last person I'll be coming to for advice.
'I've already been through these things,' Ace started, 'boobs, periods – '
'Bras,' Kia added.
'Hairs, hooking up –'
'Getting drunk?' asked Kia.
'Once, when I was fourteen, and I spewed my guts out. What else is there?'
'Brazilian?' Kia said, grinning.
'Don't leave home without one,' Ace laughed.
Georgie wasn't playing the game. She was lying in bed with the doona over her head.
'We haven't said drugs,' Ace continued. She wasn't aware of the atmosphere she'd suddenly brought into the room like an unwanted guest. 'But it's obvious I'll never take them. Some of Tim's friends were such druggies.' I kept my head down, concentrating on tying the laces of my trainers. 'They were . . .' Ace's hands were pulling at her top like she could barely even ta
lk about it. 'The most disgusting . . .' That was the problem hanging around with Ace. With just one or two words, she could have Miss Micki running for cover.
'Tell me – tell me about these interviews, Ace,' Kia interrupted. 'I, um, missed that bit last night.'
Kia had rescued me. I'm not sure I could've rescued myself. Whenever the D word came up unexpectedly like that, I wanted to disappear. It wasn't that I couldn't handle the conversation; it was easy to get through that. I'd just stop listening. But what I couldn't control was my body and the way I looked. Suddenly my hands felt like they were gigantic and I didn't know what to do with them. My face would go red and my bottom lip would sag like it was being dragged to the soles of my feet. That stressed me out more than the words.
To be fair, it wasn't Ace's fault, but everything she was saying had my stomach turning. 'After breakfast we meet the National Selection Panel. They'll crap on a bit about what they expect from us, blah blah. It'll be dead boring. Then today and tomorrow, each of us has to go in front of Don Chambers, who's the national head coach, plus the rest of the panel. They'll ask us questions like what can we bring to the team, why we think we should be selected, stuff like that.' Ace finally remembered to breathe. 'I'm the last interview today. Georgie, you're first, aren't you?'
'Yeah,' Georgie's muffled voice answered from underneath the doona.
'If you think about it,' Kia said, 'they're pretty much asking us to boast about ourselves.'
'Kia, that's exactly what I was about to say,' Ace replied. 'Girls,' she announced. I found myself sitting up straight. 'We have to sell ourselves. We have to really make out like the team needs us. That's the way to get picked.'
'Embarrassing,' I said. 'But you've got to do it, Micki,' Ace answered. 'Jules told me about the interview he had back in Canada when he was going for the scholarship here. His coach pretty much trained him for the questions. He had to say things like he was the greatest baseball player ever and that one day he'd be captain of the Canadian team. That his pitching record –'
'When did Jules tell you that?' Kia asked.
'I can't remember.'
'But do you mean last night or –'
'I'd better get dressed.' Georgie suddenly jumped out of bed and scooped a bundle of clothes off the floor.