Wicked Honeymoon (An Ivy Morgan Mystery Book 19)

by Lily Harper Hart

  He had to be joking, Ivy told herself. He was just saying whatever sprung to mind to mess with Jack. That had to be it. There was no other explanation. It was with tremulous reserve that Ivy slowly slid her eyes to Jack and found him staring at her with accusatory eyes.

  “Bigfoot isn’t real, Jack,” she said automatically.

  “This guy says he is.”

  “Well, I say he’s not.”

  Tyson patted Jack lightly on the shoulder. “Only a handful of people have ever seen him. You’ll be fine.” His grin was so wide it threatened to split his face as he strolled back toward the shore. “You guys should hurry up. We’ll be back on the river in forty-five minutes and you still have to eat your lunch.”

  He had an extra spring in his step as he moved away from them, and Ivy found she had to tamp down the urge to give chase and beat the snot out of him for throwing Jack into an even more pronounced tailspin.

  “Sasquatch, Ivy,” Jack said on a whisper.

  When Ivy finally flicked her eyes back to her husband, to her surprise, she found him watching her with an impish grin.

  “Wait ... are you not worked up about this?” she asked finally, confused.

  “I’m not,” he replied, dusting off his hands as he stood. “I don’t happen to believe in Sasquatch. I was worked up when I thought it was a bear because that’s a real creature that can do great bodily harm. That guy says it’s not a bear, though.”

  Ivy was beyond confused. “So ... you’re more afraid of a bear, which will likely mind its own business, than a potential meet-and-greet with Bigfoot, huh?”

  “How many people have officially been declared victims of bear attacks?” he demanded.

  “I don’t know. It can’t be many. Maybe a hundred, two hundred I guess is a possibility. Not. many, though.”

  “Uh-huh. And how many people have been officially declared victims of a Sasquatch?”

  “I’m guessing none.”

  “That’s because Sasquatch isn’t real.”

  “Okay.” Ivy found she was profoundly grateful that Jack wasn’t turning into a conspiracy theorist nut on her watch. “I happen to agree. I’m glad we’re on the same page.”

  “Don’t be surprised if he starts pushing the Sasquatch story over dinner tonight,” Jack warned as he slung an arm over Ivy’s shoulder. “I think that’s half the fun of these trips.”

  “I’ll take your word for it.”

  The sound of raised voices had them slowing their pace, and when they looked up, they found Lily and Bart participating in a heated discussion behind the outhouses. They looked to be caught up in whatever they were talking about and didn’t as much as look in their direction.

  “They make me sad,” Ivy admitted.

  Jack pressed her tighter to his side. “We’ll never end up like that.”

  “I feel that in my heart,” she said. “I just ... don’t think they ever thought they’d end up here either.”

  “Probably not,” Jack agreed. “We’re better than them, though.”

  It was a simple statement, delivered with a bit of fire, and it made Ivy laugh all the same. “How is it that you think we’re better than them?”

  “You’re better than anyone else in the world. And, since I’ve locked you in, that makes me the luckiest man in the world. It doesn’t get better than that.”

  “Aw.” She lightly tapped her head against his shoulder. “And we’re back to the schmaltz.”

  “Always.” He leaned in and gave her a soft kiss. “Don’t worry about them.” He inclined his head toward Lily and Bart, who were still gesturing wildly and only focused on one another. “We’re destined for greatness.”

  “I don’t know if I would go that far, but I do believe we’re destined for happiness,” Ivy conceded.

  “No, we’re destined for greatness, too.”

  “How can you be sure?”

  “Because you’re you.”

  “And you’re you?”

  “No, it’s mostly about you.”

  She managed to swallow a sigh, but it took effort. “I can’t be great unless you’re great.”

  “Then I guess I’m the greatest man in the world.”

  “I’m guessing you’re right.” She threw her arms around his neck again and drew in a deep breath. “I know you’re leery about the woods, Jack, but I promise this trip is going to be different. You don’t have to worry about bears ... or Bigfoot ... or even overly aggressive rapids. It’s going to be a perfect week.”

  “I have a perfect wife and that’s all that matters.” He gave her another kiss before separating. “I’m just glad that Sasquatch can’t possibly be real. You have no idea how relieved I am.”

  Ivy knew it was petty but couldn’t stop herself. “You probably thought there was no such thing as witches at one point, too, right?”

  He jerked up his head, glaring at her as she pasted a huge smile on her face. “You’re just messing with me,” he said finally. “You don’t believe in Bigfoot either.”

  “Never say never.”

  “Come on.” He held out his hand. “Let’s eat our lunch and then get back in the kayak. The sooner we return to the river, the sooner we will reach our final destination of the day. I can’t wait to see this grand tent we’ll be staying in tonight.”

  That made two of them.

  5

  Five

  Ivy took the back of the kayak for the afternoon session. Jack didn’t even bother complaining. He was too busy scanning the shoreline for possible bears, although he was loath to admit it to his amused wife.

  “Stop,” Ivy said when they were about thirty minutes out from their destination. She stretched her arms over her head and made a grunting sound. “I made fun of you earlier, but I’m feeling stiff myself.”

  “I’ll massage you in our tent,” Jack replied absently. “I expect you to massage me too.”

  “I think I can manage that.”

  He glanced over his shoulder and smiled at her. “It is kind of nice out here,” he admitted. “Peaceful, quiet. Your brother isn’t here to get rowdy and there are no ghosts and old witches to give us grief.”

  Ivy jerked up her head to see if anybody was in hearing distance, relief washing over her when she realized the others were a great deal ahead of them. “You need to be careful, Jack,” she warned in a low voice. “Sound carries on a river like this.”

  He merely shrugged. “I happen to be proud of what you can do.”

  “Yes, but I don’t want the other people on this trip to treat me like a leper. What if they get pitchforks or something when we’re sleeping?”

  “And you say I’m dramatic.”

  “You are dramatic.”

  “I’m ... prepared to protect my woman,” he countered, grinning at her frown. “Doesn’t it make you feel better to know that I would throw myself in front of a rabid grizzly bear to protect you?”

  “No.” She immediately shook her head. “Not even a little. If you see a bear, you run. You don’t charge it.”

  “I’ll do what I have to do to protect you.”

  “And I feel the same way. That doesn’t include wrestling with a bear, though. If we actually do see one — which we won’t — but if we do, then I’ll come up with something to get rid of him.”

  Jack was pensive as he considered the statement. “You mean magic.”

  “Stop saying that word.”

  He chuckled. “I love how I’m usually the one working overtime to stop you from saying stuff that could get you in trouble and now the roles are reversed.”

  “Yes, it’s absolutely lovely,” Ivy drawled, shaking her head. “I can’t tell you how much I love scolding you like a child.”

  “I kind of like it. If you want to spank me later, I’m totally up for it.”

  “Ugh.” Ivy focused her attention on the trees. She was perfectly comfortable floating for a few minutes to rest her muscles. “It is pretty out here,” she conceded after a beat. “That’s really why I wanted t
o come.”

  “You love nature,” he readily agreed. “You hate the city and love nature.”

  “I don’t hate the city.” The response was automatic. Still, what he said triggered something in her. “Do you miss the city?”

  “Hmm.” He’d been thinking and had to shake himself out of his reverie to focus on what she was asking. “No. I thought I might when I left but ... I really don’t. I mean, there are things I miss about the city.”

  “Like what?”

  “Like ... I miss being able to stop and pick up groceries after nine o’clock at night. The store in Shadow Lake is rigid about their operational hours. I kind of miss being able to go to a theater and see a movie without planning it out, too.”

  “We don’t really go to the theater.”

  “No, but I went a lot before ... well, before.”

  Before he was shot, Ivy surmised. Even now, even though she knew absolutely everything that had happened to him because she saw it with her own eyes when he called her into his nightmares, he still didn’t talk about it often. He didn’t want to dwell on it or remember the fear.

  “I don’t know if I would be comfortable raising kids in a city, Jack.” Ivy was serious. “I think it’s better for kids to be raised in the country … at least our kids. I’m not going to lie.”

  He chuckled at her serious response. “Honey, I don’t want to move back to the city. Ever. I love Shadow Lake.”

  “Why?” Ivy was honestly curious. “Why do you love it? And I can’t be your answer. There has to be more than me to keep you happy.”

  “Actually, that’s not true in the least. I don’t need more than you. That being said, even if you and I were to split up — which will never happen — I wouldn’t leave. Shadow Lake is my home now.”

  “We’re definitely not splitting up,” Ivy readily agreed, a weird prickling sensation popping up on the back of her neck. It had her turning to her right to stare at the trees. There was nothing there and yet she couldn’t shake the feeling that someone was watching them. “I just don’t ever want you to be unhappy.”

  “I’ve never been this happy, Ivy. I can promise you that’s not going to change. And, yes, ninety-nine percent of it has to do with you. I felt peace the moment you first touched me, something I never thought I would feel again. I love the town, though. I love the people ... at least most of them. I could do without Maisie and Ava.”

  “Me, too.” Ivy grinned as she continued to stare at the trees, the only movement coming from the breeze as it ruffled the leaves. “As long as you’re happy, I’m happy.”

  “That’s kind of co-dependent.”

  Ivy merely shrugged. “I’m fine with that. People say we’re codependent anyway.”

  “Who says that?”

  “Um ... Brian.”

  “He doesn’t count.” Jack made a face. His partner was a bit of a crank when he wanted to be. He still trusted him implicitly, and a great deal of that trust revolved around how protective Brian was of Ivy. His partner had known his wife since she was a small child and Brian never allowed Jack to make a misstep with Ivy when he could help it.

  “Max thinks we’re codependent, too,” Ivy pointed out, referring to her brother.

  “Well, he’s as whipped as they come with Amy these days, so he has no room to talk.”

  Ivy grinned, although it didn’t make it all the way to her eyes. The creepy feeling she’d first encountered minutes before lingered, and she didn’t like it. She also didn’t want to mention it to Jack — at least for now — in case he panicked and determined it was an incoming bear.

  “We should start paddling again,” she said when she realized the rest of their group had disappeared from sight. “We’re close to the campground. I think we could both use some time on solid ground.”

  “And a bed.”

  “And a bed,” she said with a smile.

  “And some of that amazing food they promised.”

  “I think I can make all your dreams come true when we get there, Jack,” Ivy promised.

  “You’ve already made all my dreams come true, honey. Dinner and sexy massages are just gravy.”

  She felt the same way, although her lingering sense of unease propelled her forward. “Let’s do this.”

  THE FIRST THING JACK DID WHEN THEY landed was groan. He didn’t care about his feet getting wet — Ivy helped him pick out proper shoes so they would dry quickly — and instead cracked his back. His legs felt like jelly, almost as if he’d worked out for ten hours without a break, and he marveled that simply sitting in a kayak for so long could have that effect on him.

  Then he remembered his wife.

  “Come here.” He extended his hands to help her up, making sure to keep as much of her weight on him as possible so she wouldn’t risk falling. He didn’t think she’d injure herself, but he knew getting wet would leave her in a foul mood and he had plans for a romantic night, even if the tent didn’t live up to their expectations.

  “I can stand.” Ivy didn’t mean to come off as cross as she did, but she hated feeling weak.

  “I didn’t say you couldn’t.” Jack was blasé as he regarded her. He was familiar with her temper and knew exactly what had her riled. “I’m just helping my wife, the most beautiful woman in the world, because I like to be able to touch her as often as possible.”

  She made a face. “You’re trying to romance me.”

  He grinned. “I am. This is a honeymoon. Romance is part of the game.”

  “I guess.” Ivy didn’t look convinced but heaved out a sigh. “My butt is numb.”

  He managed to keep a straight face, but it took effort. “Well, as your husband, I believe it’s my job to massage your butt to make sure that the blood flow returns. I would hate to have it amputated.”

  “Oh, geez.” Ivy was in the middle of an eye roll when she realized where his hands were heading. “Don’t even think about it, Jack.” She wagged a finger to let him know she meant business. “We’re in public.”

  “We’re in the middle of the woods,” he corrected. “I very much doubt the bears will mind.”

  “I’m not talking about the bears.” She inclined her head up the embankment, to where the other couples had already gathered with their bags and were “oohing” and “aahing” over the campsite.

  Jack leaned closer. “After this week, we’re never going to see those people again. You know it as well as I do. It doesn’t matter if they think we’re perverts. There’s nothing they can do to us.”

  “Oh, yeah?” Ivy loved little more than messing with her husband ... and she was good at it. “What if they figure out where you work and decide to post on the department’s Facebook page or something?”

  “I’m pretty sure the department doesn’t have a Facebook page.”

  “Um, yes it does. Ava monitors it. She puts out press releases and little tidbits from your day. How did you think I figured out that you were having ice cream without me two weeks ago and nailed you for it?”

  “I ... just assumed you saw us in town or something.” He was taken aback. “I don’t understand. We have a Facebook page?”

  “Most police departments do these days. It’s the social media age.”

  “I just ... did not know that.” Jack thought back over his time in Shadow Lake. “Is that how you found out I ate tacos without you that one time, too?”

  “Yes, and I’m still mad about that.” Ivy opened the storage bin at her end of the kayak and pulled out her bag. “Don’t forget your stuff. We’re here for the rest of the night.”

  “And you have no idea how happy I am for that,” Jack said as he followed his wife’s directions and grabbed his bag. “I guess I’m going to have to be more careful about letting Ava know where I’m going in the afternoon, huh?”

  “Yes, because she holds it over my head when she puts up stuff I had no idea about.”

  “How does she hold it over your head?”

  “She says things like ‘you would think a futur
e wife would know’ when I comment on the post and then, when I see her in person, she makes that face that has me wanting to punch her in the nose.”

  Jack cracked a grin. “Well, now you’re my forever wife and it doesn’t matter.”

  “You still ate those tacos without me. You know they’re my favorite.”

  “I believe you ate those tacos the same day, just an hour earlier, with your brother.”

  Ivy stilled. “How do you know that?”

  “Because Max is the sort of person who shoots photos of his food and posts them on Facebook.”

  “He is. That’s so annoying.”

  “It is. You could take photos of our honeymoon and post them and make Ava green with jealousy if you wanted to put in the effort. You might want to wait until we’re on the beach so she has something to actually be jealous of, though.”

  “Ha, ha.” Ivy elbowed his stomach and then started up the embankments, frowning when another chill washed over her. When she looked to the other side of the river, which was a decent distance away, she didn’t see anything. She felt something, though. Someone — or some horrible thing — was watching her.

  “What is it?” Jack asked. He was instantly keyed into his wife’s changing mood. “Did something happen?”

  Ivy hesitated and then shook her head. “I don’t know.” She didn’t want Jack freaking out because he thought a bear had followed him, but she was unsettled. “Let’s head to our tent, huh?”

  Jack wanted to press her further but figured it could wait ... at least until they were alone. “Okay.” He put his hand to the small of her back and fell into step with her. He had no intention of letting this go. For now, though, he would let her keep her secrets ... but only for now.

  “WHAT DO YOU THINK?”

  Ivy did her best not to look smug when Tyson left them to explore their tent. They were on the outskirts of the campground — something Ivy requested — and they had a beautiful view of the trees while still being able to hear the gentle lull of the river.