Strong Like Me

by Laurel Veil

“Let’s get outta here,” he said with a sleepy whisper.

  I liked the way he said us and we whenever he talked about him and me. Those little words didn’t include anyone else. It felt good to belong.

  ren’t you gonna ask me where we’re going?” he asked as we walked toward my house.

  I shook my head.

  “Why not?”

  “Because it doesn’t matter.”

  He must’ve liked my answer because he couldn’t stop grinning.

  “After what we went through last night, I thought we should recoup by the ocean.”

  “Have you ever driven a convertible BMW?”

  “This little trip to the beach just got better. I didn’t think that was possible.” He raised his brows.

  I went into the pool house bathroom and slipped my suit on under my clothes while Jay riffled through the spare swim trunks until he found something that came close to fitting. I threw some things in a canvas bag and we hit the road with the top down.

  Jay and I walked up and down the shore. The sound of the waves was therapeutic and the cool sandy mud squishing between my toes did more for me than an entire bottle of pills could have. Watching his lean, muscular body skip shells across the water didn’t hurt either. Years of physical labor and karate classes had left their mark.

  We sat in the shallow and let the waves wash up on us. The sun was just starting to set.

  “Don’t you need to check in? At least let your mom know you’ll be home soon?”

  The mere mention of home made my shoulders began to tense up again.

  “What’s wrong?” he asked.

  “In case you haven’t noticed, Jay, I didn’t tell anyone I left, and no one has been looking for me.” I glanced down at my phone, which was lying on a towel in my bag. “I haven’t gotten a single text either.”

  “Well, I care about you,” he said as he playfully leaned down and rested his head on my head.

  I splashed some water on him and he laughed. He stood and held out his hand for me. I took it and he pulled me up.

  “I had fun today,” he said with an ironically serious tone.

  I nodded and bit nervously on my bottom lip. He continued holding my hand and led me to the car.

  The wind blew our hair all around. I didn’t want to go home. I didn’t want this day to end.

  I watched Jay drive for a while. I didn’t try to hide that I was soaking in the view. His skin was even darker now. It made his eyes seem greener. I wanted to run my fingers through his dark, messy hair.

  He looked at me and grinned. “What?”

  I just shook my head and smiled.

  Just before we made it to his house, he said, “I want to take you back to the beach sometime.”

  It was just what I wanted to hear, but at the same time, it made me afraid.

  When I didn’t respond, he continued. “I thought we could go to the pier and the boardwalk.”

  I think my silence made him feel insecure.

  “Is something wrong?”

  “I would love to go with you, Jay.”

  “But…”

  “No, I really want to. There’s no place I would rather be. I didn’t want to leave tonight. It’s just—you know a lot about me. More than anyone. But you still don’t know everything. I’m afraid when you do, you won’t want to go with me to the beach or anywhere and—”

  “Stop,” he said. He parked in front of a modest house with a very tidy yard.

  He took my phone and entered his number. “Call me when you get home, so I know you made it.”

  I nodded and got into the driver’s seat when he stepped out. He leaned down and pressed his lips to my forehead. He was so sweet. It was only a matter of time until he dumped me.

  “I don’t suppose there’s anyway I can get you to come in and meet my family?”

  “We’ve been at the beach all day. I’m a mess.”

  “I knew you were going to say that. You’re the hottest mess I’ve ever laid eyes on. But, whatever.”

  Had he always been this adorable? How could I’ve not noticed?

  Just then, the porch light came on. “Jay, is that you?”

  “Yes ma’am. I’ll be right there.” He brushed a strand of hair behind my ear. “Don’t forget to call me.”

  Just then, a little boy who looked like a smaller version of Jay burst through the screen door. “Jay’s got a girlfriend!” A girl not much older than him came out and did the same.

  “Gotta go.” He smiled at me. “I’m gonna get you two!” He barked playfully as he ran up the steps to the porch. They squealed as they ran back inside. He turned back long enough to wave bye before following them in.

  When I pulled into my drive, the first thing I noticed was that, other than the landscaping lights that were on timers, the house was dark. Don’t those two ever stay home? I shut off my engine and thought about the contrasting differences between Jay’s arrival home and mine.

  I wondered for a moment what it would be like to come home to that. I couldn’t believe I was jealous of Cowboy.

  My thoughts suddenly drifted to the black fog and I was too afraid to go inside. I started my car back up and threw it into reverse. I wasn’t quite sure where I was heading and then it hit me: I would go to the brightest place in Sparrow, my dad’s dealership. Black fog, spirits, monsters of any kind, would not dare to show up there; there were too many lights.

  It was Sunday. If my dad was even there, he would just be doing paperwork in his office. I had hung out with him there a couple of times when I was younger, until he told me I was no longer allowed.

  Sure enough, his car was around back. I parked next to it and walked inside. I felt nervous. I couldn’t believe I was doing this. But, I was desperate.

  “Jessica?”

  “Ms. Alexandra?” There was no hiding the surprise in my voice.

  “H-Hi. How are you?” she asked.

  “I’m fine.”

  “I really enjoyed your party. It was spectacular. You’re a very lucky girl.”

  Another door burst open. “There you—” My dad stopped midsentence. “Jessica. What are you doing here?”

  My mind went blank. I couldn’t speak.

  “What are you doing here?” he enunciated. “Is everything okay?”

  I looked at Ms. Alexandra and then back at my dad. I wanted to vomit. If looks could kill, there would’ve been two fresh graves in the cemetery.

  “No,” I said so calmly that I scared myself. “Everything is definitely not okay.”

  I turned and left and no one tried to stop me. My dad didn’t apologize or attempt to make up excuses. Apparently, I wasn’t even worth a lie.

  On the way out, I passed by Ms. Alexandra’s car. Now I knew how she could afford it. I shouldn’t have, but I took my key and scratched whore into the door. I would’ve written home wrecker, but I think that may have happened before she got there.

  My mind was racing. Was he going to move her in and kick mom and me out? Maybe they planned on having kids of their own. What was I thinking? My dad was not paternal at all. He didn’t like kids. I hated them both so much, it made my insides feel like they were on fire.

  My house was still dark when I got home, so I went to see Bear. I had school in the morning, though, so I wouldn’t be able to sleep out here tonight. This had to come to an end soon.

  I wasn’t out there long when Jay pulled up.

  “Why didn’t you call?” he asked as soon as he stepped out of his car. “I was worried about you.”

  I wanted to tell him everything but I couldn’t find my voice. Instead, tears I didn’t know I had spoke for me.

  He pulled me to him. When I was able, I told him what had happened.

  “You’re coming home with me.”

  As good as that sounded, I said, “I can’t.”

  “Why not?” he asked. “You don’t have to be around him after that.”

  “I can’t because of you know what. It follows me. I don’t want it around y
our family.”

  I could tell by the look on his face that he knew I was right, but I still wished I could take it back and go with him.

  “Will you stay with me?” I asked.

  He put his hand behind my head and drew my lips to his. For a moment, I forgot how to breathe.

  Jay followed me to my room. He propped up my pillows against the headboard, slipped off his shoes, and lay on top of the comforter.

  I took a quick shower and put on what I was going to wear to school in the morning.

  By the time I came out, Jay was asleep. His arms were folded behind his head. I giggled to myself. I couldn’t believe Cowboy was asleep on my bed. I quietly lay down next to him and gently covered my arms and his chest with an afghan. I watched his chest rise up and down until I fell asleep.

  hat is going on?”

  My eyes popped open.

  “Do you think you can do whatever you want now?”

  I bolted up to see my dad standing in my doorway. I would have rather been face to face with a spirit.

  “Who is—” He stopped speaking when Jay jumped up and raked his hair out of his face.

  “You have got to be kidding me? I hire you to try and help you out and this is how you repay me.”

  “I’m sorry sir. It’s not like—”

  “I don’t want to hear it! Get your—”

  “Dad! It’s not what you think. I was upset last night. He just—”

  He cut his eyes at me and then at Jay. “You no longer work here.” He then looked back at me, “And you no longer live here.”

  My world was reeling. As he turned to go, I heard him mumble “I see nothing’s changed” under his breath.

  I stood frozen until Jay shook me. “Pack your things. Hurry.”

  I was a zombie as I shoved some things in a duffel bag. We tore out of the house; it was still night.

  I started to head toward my car. “Are you crazy?” asked Jay. “Don’t give him a reason to come after us.”

  He was right. I wasn’t thinking clearly. He nudged me along, with his hand in the small of my back until we reached his car.

  I looked back at Bear’s stall, and suddenly I wanted to cry. “Get in,” said Jay.

  As we headed down the street, I finally got around to asking, “Where are we going? I told you I can’t stay with you.”

  “I know. I thought I would ask my neighbor if you could stay with her. She probably would like the company. She’s our age and she lives there alone now that her mother died. Her aunt was supposed to come live with her, but it hasn’t happened yet. I don’t think it is going to happen.”

  I was only halfway listening. I was so preoccupied. I couldn’t believe my dad had barged into my room like that. I don’t think he’s ever even come upstairs before. And I couldn’t remember the last time he ever even halfway acted like a father to me, and now he had scolded me in front of Jay! And after what he did!

  “Hey Mandy, this is Jay.”

  “Mandy?” I suddenly began paying attention to Jay again. He was on his cell.

  He proceeded to tell her he had a friend who needed some help.

  When he hung up with her, he told me, “She said it’s okay if you stay with her. It’s right next door to my house.” He smiled. “I’ll be able to keep an eye on you.”

  A few minutes later, we pulled into his next door neighbor’s driveway. I noticed that though the yard wasn’t very wide, it was long. And in the back there was a shed, a small fenced-in stable, and what looked like a chicken coop. As we walked up, the porch light came on and the door cracked open. I watched as female arms wrapped around Jay’s back.

  I felt like I just got a quick jab in the gut. Jay turned to face me.

  “Jess, this in Mandy.” He stepped back and Amanda Nichols was looking back at me.

  She shyly waved. “We know each—we have a class together,” she corrected herself.

  Jay meant well. He was standing there all tall and proud of himself like he had just done me the biggest favor ever. It was hard to be mad at him, but I wanted to scream just the same.

  She opened the door wider. “Come in.”

  “I’ll grab your bag,” said Jay as he brushed past me.

  “So…you’re Mandy,” I said.

  “I take it you didn’t know where you were going.”

  I exhaled. “No.”

  “He didn’t tell me it was you either. It’s okay with me if you want to stay. If you don’t, that’s fine too.”

  “I think it’ll just be for tonight.” I said, even though I didn’t know how long it would be—if at all—until my dad let me come back home.”

  She nodded and pointed. “You can sleep in there. I just put clean sheets on the bed.” I peeked in. It wasn’t old in a bad way, just antique. I could see Jay’s house through the window. Both homes were small, but well cared for. They had fresh paint, the grass was thick and green, and the flowerbeds were loved.

  When I turned back around, she turned to leave.

  “Amanda.”

  She stopped and looked at me.

  “Thank you.”

  She smiled, stepped out of Jay’s way, and then left us alone.

  “Here,” he said as he set my bag down on the floor. He looked around. “It’s not what you’re used to, but it’ll—”

  “It’s perfect,” I said, close to tears.

  “You’re tired. Lay down,” he said.

  I didn’t fight him. I was exhausted.

  He bent down and kissed my forehead. “I’ll come and get you in the morning for school,” he whispered against my skin.

  As he pulled away from me, I reached for his hand. “Don’t leave yet,” I whispered.

  He continued to hold my hand tightly as he knelt down next to the bed. He stayed until I drifted off to sleep. No spirits visited me that night.

  awoke to the smell of bacon. I got myself ready and stepped into the kitchen. It was small like every other room in the tiny house, but it had its own distinct color—butter—and it was full of sunshine. Crisp cotton curtains with cross-stitched flowers hung in the windows.

  Jay looked up and smiled. He was seated at a small table that was covered with a red-and-white checkered cloth. I smiled back. I wasn’t expecting to see him and so happy that I did.

  Just then, Amanda spun around from the stove with a plate of scrambled eggs and bacon in her hand.

  “There you are.” She smiled at me and then proceeded to touch Jay’s back as she leaned around him and set the plate down in front of him.

  He closed his eyes and inhaled dramatically. “Smells good!”

  She elbowed him playfully. How well did they know each other?

  “Sit.” She motioned to an empty chair.

  In no time, she had a plate placed in front of me as well. Jay was right. It did smell good and I realized all at once that I was famished. Amanda stepped out of the kitchen as we ate and returned when we were almost finished.

  “I gotta run. I have to be at school early today for chemistry. Big test coming up.” She placed a key next to my glass of juice. “Keep it as long as you need it.”

  “Thanks,” said Jay.

  She gave a quick wave. “See ya.” And then she left.

  I should have told her thank you. I should have at least said something. Her kindness was making me uncomfortable. I wasn’t used to people being this nice to me and the fact that I had been such a jerk to her first made me a little suspicious. Maybe her hospitality was merely a ploy to get access to Jay. It did look like she kinda liked him. Look at me, Jay. Look how nice I am to her and after the way she treated me!

  “I said, are you about ready? We’re going to be late if we don’t get going.”

  I grabbed the key and my backpack and we left.

  I couldn’t stand it. Even if it was bad, I had to know. “So, how well do you know her?” I asked as soon as we got into Jay’s car.

  “Who, Amanda?”

  I bit my lip so I wouldn’t say, duh! I had t
o be at least as nice as Mandy. “Yeah,” I said like I was bored and didn’t really care if he answered me or not.

  “I don’t know.” He shrugged. “Forever, I guess.”

  He was lying. Why does everyone turn out to be a liar? I knew he was too good to be true. Now I had to ask him about it, and it was going to make it look like I cared more than I really did.

  “Forever?”

  “Give or take a few years.”

  “Two years is forever?”

  “What are you talking about?”

  “You said you’ve only lived in Sparrow for a couple of years.” Grr! I hated stupid people. Especially, stupid liars.

  “I also told you my mom’s family is here. I’ve been visiting Sparrow since I was too young to remember. Amanda lives in between my house and my aunt and uncle’s.”

  “Oh.” My bad. I felt like an idiot. But, I was happy because it meant Jay wasn’t a liar. He was still a good guy. At least for a little while longer, anyway.

  My sense of peace and wellbeing didn’t last long though, because then the next question popped in my head.

  “So…have you two always been friends?” I couldn’t believe I was jealous over Cowboy and Amanda Nichols!

  “Yeah,” he said, like it was a stupid question. He obviously didn’t understand what I was really asking.

  “Just friends?”

  He looked at me for a moment. My face flushed. I felt so hot I thought I might spontaneously combust. I wished I would have. Why did I have to keep probing?

  “We’ve always been just friends.”

  Thank God. What a relief. But I couldn’t shut up. No, that would be too easy.

  “That’s too bad.” I said. I couldn’t let him think I liked him too much.

  “What’s that supposed to mean?”

  “It’s just that, she’s so nice and you’re so nice. What a nice couple you two would make.”

  He rubbed his forehead for a moment like he was getting a headache. “Really…so you think Amanda and I should date?”

  “Why not?” Just shut up, Jess! “Get married, go on mission trips together. Save the world one village at a time.”

  Jay eased into a parking spot in the back of the lot and turned the car off. I’m sure he either hated me or thought I was psycho. Who knows? Maybe he was actually considering what I had just said. My stomach twisted.