Friggin Zombies

by N. C. Reed

  “How are you, really?” she asked more seriously as she fixed a plate.

  “I'm really fine,” I told her, knowing what she meant. “I still hate it happened, but honestly that's more because of the girl having to see it. He needed killing,” I shrugged. “If I'd had my druthers it wouldn't have been me that done it, but I literally didn't lose any sleep over it,” I grinned.

  “What did you lose sleep over?” she asked mischievously.

  “Over you of course,” I answered at once. Yeah, yeah, I know you're making a gag motion right now but that's fine. Help yourself. I seriously couldn't have cared less at that moment and still don't.

  “I assume you've already checked the news?” she asked as she took a bite of egg. “Oh, that's good,” she added, chewing slowly. Man anything she did was just. . .damn. Just damn.

  “Yeah. City's having a lot of trouble this morning. Protests and looting and all that.”

  “Protests?” Connie looked shocked. “About what?”

  “I didn't check to be honest,” I admitted. “I mean it's just stupid to be out like that in groups, out in the open. Just makes it easier for the virus to spread wouldn't you think?”

  “Depends on how it spreads,” she shrugged and even that was sensual. I'm stopping, I'm stopping.

  “If it's airborne, then yeah it's a problem,” she continued. “Last news we had was that it was strictly fluid transfer, but it seems that we might have been lied to at least some yesterday so I have to take that with a grain of salt.”

  “Well, if it's really zombies then I guess the movie thing is holding true for the moment,” I said. “If it's a true virus though, I remember you saying that it could mutate. Or did Dumbo the Clown say that?” I frowned. I couldn't remember.

  “Any true virus can mutate,” Connie nodded. “Since this one at least started as a fluid transfer virus I'm assuming it's blood borne, but that is an assumption. It's entirely possible that once someone is infected that any body fluid can pass the virus. Sooner or later an infected patient's body chemistry may alter the virus into something aerosol, from which point on the virus will be able to spread through the air.”

  “How's that work, exactly?” I asked.

  “Depends on the level of infection and how virulent, or powerful, the virus is,” she explained. “If it's very strong, can live outside the host for any length of time over a second or so, then a sneeze is enough to infect anyone near it. Evaporating body fluids or scattered body fluids, say from a gunshot wound,” she looked at me pointedly, “can also result in infection. Without details on the virus itself there's just no way to say for sure. The variables are literally endless.”

  “Well, that's just great,” I muttered and she nodded.

  “That's why I said yesterday's 'medical' briefing was bullshit,” she told me flatly. “Just standard protocol for any infectious disease that's spreading. Come to think of it,” she paused briefly, “the bastard might have already known that the virus was airborne. If he did then that would make his warnings to the general public more understandable.”

  “But all that warning did was create panic,” I objected.

  “That was going to happen anyway,” Connie shrugged. “You can't announce something like that and expect it not to create some kind of panic attack in most of the population. Not everyone is as smart as you are, Drake,” she smirked at me just a little as I snorted.

  “Yeah, I'm a regular Einstein.”

  “You cued on this early on,” she pointed out. “You didn't have any information that everyone else didn't have access to, just made good decisions made on sound deductive reasoning. Like coming to see me,” she added, this time with a full blown smirk of self-satisfaction.

  “That's one thing that I will be eternally grateful I thought of,” I admitted freely.

  “Me too,” she rewarded me with a dazzling smile. You know, the kind of smile that convinces a man that he should do pretty much anything the woman smiling at him asks. Like, oh, kill a rampaging lion with his bare hands for instance. The kind of smile that convinces him he can kill that lion. And yes, I know how that makes me sound, but I think I already said I don't care. I did say that, didn't I? Yeah, I did.

  “Anyway,” she continued, “if it wasn't for you, we'd both be in that,” she pointed to the tablet laying on the table still showing a picture of panicky people doing. . .well, things panicky people did when they were, panicky. That doesn't sound right does it? Maybe panicking people? Never mind.

  “Well, there is that,” I nodded. “And we are pretty well set I think. I'm sure there's something we forgot but I can't think what it is at the moment.”

  “Me either,” she admitted. “And that's my point. You put all this together and because you did, we aren't part of the panicking masses that are scrambling around trying to be ready for whatever this might become.”

  “Well, since we aren't part of that, what should we be doing today?” I asked.

  “Absolutely nothing,” Connie replied at once. “We've been going almost not-stop since. . .Tuesday? No, Monday. Even without the events of last night, all of them,” she added with that sexy smirk she has, “we've earned a day off. I'm technically supposed to see patients tomorrow, too,” she added with a frown.

  “Still going to?” I asked.

  “I should,” she temporized. “I mean really I should. All my other appointments were rescheduled for next week after this coming Wednesday, but. . .it's irresponsible for me not to see my patients tomorrow. Assuming any of them come in,” she added. “After that, I'll play Tuesday and Wednesday by ear.”

  “How likely is that?” I asked. “That they'll show up?”

  “Depends,” she shrugged. “I don't know who was on the schedule. Some may cancel, some may be more determined than ever to get in to see me with things being like they are.” She looked up at me. “What are you going to do?”

  “I'm off sick,” I smirked a little myself. “My office doesn't expect me back until middle of the week, if then. And considering what's going on I don't know how much demand there will be for cyber security over the next few days anyway.”

  “Is that what you do?” Connie asked with her eyebrows raised and I realized that I'd never told her what I did exactly.

  “That is what I do,” I nodded. “I travel a lot because of it. My company specializes in protecting databases from hacking and what I call cybernage. Cyber espionage,” I explained. “Cybernage is my own little term,” I told her proudly.

  “You're a hacker?” Connie looked astonished.

  “No, I am the anti-hacker,” I grinned. “I track down hackers and destroy them.”

  “Uh,” she started then stopped.

  “Computer wise,” I assured her. “I can literally shut down their systems once I turn the hack around on them. I can also trace them for the authorities. Things like that.” She stared at me for another few seconds before she giggled slightly. That giggle became a laugh and before I could ask why it became a full-fledged fit of laughter.

  “Okay, what's so funny about that?” I asked. Not that it wasn't good to hear her laugh, really. It was almost like musical bells. (Shut up!)

  “Yo. . .you're a. . .a ne. . .nerd!” she wailed again as she finally managed to get the entire sentence out.

  “I am not a nerd!” I said indignantly. “I am a highly trained computer forensics and tracking specialist!”

  “That's what I said!” Connie was in tears now from laughing so hard. “A nerd!”

  Look, I'm not a nerd. If I have to have some sort of title then it should be geek. Geeks get things done. Nerds live in their mom's basement and play video games.

  “I fail to see the humor,” I told her. “And I am not a nerd.” I was trying hard to maintain some dignity here.

  “What's so damn funny!” I demanded finally. So much for the dignity thing.

  “Oh, my GOD!” Connie was literally shaking with laughter. “Of all the things I ever imagined hearing you say, imagine
d about what you did for a living, being a nerd was not on the list!” she busted out laughing again at the look on my face.

  “And why is that so hard to believe?” I asked her. “Have I struck you as being in some way too dumb to be a computer expert?”

  “No!” she shook her head, trying to stop laughing. “It's just that. . .all this time I've known you at the gun club, known you were a survivalist. . .”

  “Prepper,” I pointed out in between her laughs.

  “. . .I just always sort of figured that 'security consultant' meant you were like some kind of quasi-mercenary. Like a high paid ex-military or government agent that had gone freelance. I had n. . .no idea!” she was laughing again.

  “Well, sorry to burst your bubble,” I shrugged. “But the only work I've ever done for the government was as a contractor back when I was going to school. I worked for different agencies each summer working on computer security systems and helping stop hacking attacks.” There was more to it than that, but. . .well, that's all I can say even now, I guess. Be just my luck some asshole of a FED survived and read this and then try to arrest me.

  “Does this lower your opinion of me, then?” I asked, suddenly wondering if now that I wasn't some secretive ex-merc type if she would lose interest in me.

  “Of course not!” she shot back, laughter suddenly gone. “If anything it just enhances it. Last night's action for a mercenary ex-soldier would have still been something special. For a nerd-boy,” she winked slyly, “it's completely fantastic. The way you handled yourself I assumed you had done something like that before.”

  “No, I hadn't,” I assured her, sighing a bit. That seemed to sober her a bit.

  “I didn't mean anything in a bad way,” she reached out to lay a hand on my arm. “I just seriously always thought you were some kind of para-military type. You just had that kind of air.”

  “Air?”

  “You know. Self-assured, I can handle it, no problem, that kind of thing,” she clarified. “Even through all this its been like nothing has phased you. Not that you've allowed to show anyway. You've just gone and done what needed doing.”

  “Oh,” I said, not knowing what else to say. “Well, I've had a lot of different kinds of training over the years. But I'm always outdoors. Shooting, hiking, fishing and hunting. Okay, I guess considering what you knew about me I can see where my profession would surprise you,” I admitted after rattling off that list. She nodded.

  “Exactly. It's not like I've ever seen you do anything computer related.”

  “True,” I nodded. “Well, at least you're not disappointed,” I grinned.

  “Oh, no,” she shook her head slightly, her voice soft. “No, the one thing I most certainly am not is disappointed.” She squeezed my arm at that and I felt a bit better. Oh who am I kidding, I felt like a million bucks hearing that.

  “Back to the question at hand,” I said, “you are planning on opening your office Monday?” she nodded, albeit reluctantly.

  “Barring some kind of Martial Law travel ban, yes. But after Monday I'll have to take it as it comes. I wish I had told Nettie, my receptionist, to cancel everything this week, but. . .maybe tomorrow she can call the others. Assuming the phones are working anyway,” she added with a frown.

  “Well, I'll take you in and stay with you,” I told her. “It's not like I'm doing anything else at the moment. I'm not going into the city and that's where my office is. Nor am I going on the road while all this is playing out. So I'm available,” I smiled.

  “What about here?” she asked. “Shouldn't you be protecting this place?” I held up my tablet.

  “This entire place is wired,” I told her. “If someone so much as leans on that fence, let alone tries to get into the house, then I'll know it. I can be here long before they manage to do any damage. Probably before they can get inside,” I added, thinking about the storm shutters.

  “Well, there's still no reason for you to sit in my office all day. You'll be bored to death!” she exclaimed.

  “There is every reason,” was my only reply and her blush was a thing to behold. I hoped right then that I would always be able to bring that look to her face.

  “That still leaves today,” I said as I stood up, taking up the dishes and moving to the sink. “Like you said, we're overdue a rest. I'll need to feed and water the chickens, but otherwise we'll read, watch television and surf the web I guess. Keep up on what's happening.”

  “Works for me,” she hugged me, her arms coming around me in a hug. I turned my head slightly and she kissed my cheek, then walked into the living room. After I watched her go (boy shorts, remember?) I finished the dishes and went to check on the birds. They were fine if a bit loud, but once allowed to roam the yard again they were fine. It occurred to me that I'd have to watch for hawks now. I rarely saw one near the house, but I'd never had anything for them to eat, either.

  Once back inside I settled in with Connie to watch the world start to fall apart. I know that sounds melodramatic, but. . .it's pretty much what happened. American newsies had finally seemed to catch on and were now demanding the same answers that their European counterparts had been demanding for days. Our authorities were no more forthcoming than European authorities had been, but our press had a bit more leeway and freedom and they were pissed off at being lied to. Funny thing about the press. They don't mind lying to us, but try lying to them and you are toast.

  It really wouldn't matter this time, though. They could roast and toast the politicians all they wanted to but it wouldn't matter. Things were way too far out of hand now and nothing was going to get them under control again. Not without a lot of dead bodies anyway.

  As the day progressed things just got worse. By sundown it seemed like the entire world was in a panic. The protesting and rioting was in full swing now and things in city were getting worse as well. Protests and riots had turned to looting had turned to random acts of violence. There were fires burning out of control in several places as firefighters struggled to find enough manpower to be everywhere at once. I assumed that some of them were 'sick', which in this case meant taking care of their own families and the hell with looters and rioters and other kinds of idiots. Hard to blame them, really. Hard to blame any of them.

  As night settled in I went and corralled the chickens back into the hen house. I hadn't fed them a great deal that morning so as I threw corn inside the chicken coop they flocked to it. All I had to do was wait and then close the door. That might seem like a normal bit of business to you but remember that I knew nothing about farm animals other than how tasty they were, so for me it was quite an accomplishment.

  Ram had spent the day alternating between annoying the shit out of me and playing with Connie and making a mess and sleeping, not always in that order but mostly. I shouldn't say that, I guess, because he wasn't all that annoying and he was cute as a button, bouncing around like an over active child. He got into a chair by a window that afternoon and yapped his little ass off at the chickens, clearly wanting to be outside with them. Connie didn't want him outside though and spent a good part of the day trying to get him house-broken and cleaning up after him when it didn't work. Persistence paid off for her though and soon enough he was using the puppy pads more often than not.

  We'd have to sooner or later get him used to going outside but for now this was good.

  Bedtime snuck up on me to be honest. One minute it's time for supper and I'm cooking, the next Connie is looking down at me while I'm sitting on the couch reading over updated news reports. I looked up at her when she cleared her throat.

  “I'm going to bed,” she announced. I froze for a moment, knowing I should know something here but not realizing what it was.

  “Okay,” I settled for saying. “Uh, you want to. . .I mean I can. . .no, what I meant was. . . .” I stammered until she finally took pity on me, laughing.

  “Get your ass up,” she told me. “I'm moving into your room,” she declared as I got to my feet. “I already chang
ed the sheets,” she added.

  “There was nothing wrong with. . . .” I stopped as she almost-but-not-quite glared at me. Apparently sheets are a big deal to women. Who knew?

  I got ready for bed realizing suddenly just how tired I was. I had managed to go the entire day without even thinking about shooting Methie the night before. How 'bout that? Thinking of that made me wonder how Heather and Rick were doing. I hoped they were okay. I really did regret those two kids having to see it.

  “Stop thinking about it,” Connie told me out of nowhere, kissing my jaw as she passed by me on her way to bed. How she knew what I was thinking I don't know. She's just an amazing woman, that's all.

  “I honestly haven't thought about it today,” I promised, sliding into bed beside her. “I was just thinking about those two kids, that's all. Hating that they saw it.”

  “Not your fault,” she told me, laying her head on my chest and an arm across my middle. “And they wouldn't be thinking of anything if you hadn't saved them so you think about that instead.” I kissed the top of her head and turned out the lamp.

  With the world falling apart around me I went to sleep with the woman of my dreams draped across me.

  CHAPTER NINE

  Turns out that I only got that one night of sleeping more than maybe six hours. I was awake by four-thirty, eyes wide. No way I was going back to sleep.

  Connie was still draped across me, neither of us having moved once we went to sleep. I was surprised at that since I usually tossed and turned at night. But I remembered how tired I had suddenly been the night before and figured she might have been too.

  I lay there for maybe twenty minutes before carefully sliding from underneath her to get up. I was careful not to wake her, knowing that she had set the clock for six. I used the hallway bathroom to keep the noise down and then walked to the kitchen and started a pot of coffee. As it bubbled and perked it's way to drinkable I turned the TV on to Fox News and turned my computer on.