Seducing Sora

by C L Walker

  “I know it’s okay and I realize you will be fine and before you know it, you’ll be forgetting all about him, but I was trying to protect you.” I tipped my head down to sulk as she grabbed my hand and squeezed it and when I looked up at her she had a big smile on her face, it was the first one I had seen in weeks and it made me and Philip both smile in return to see it. “I was just trying to make it easier.”

  “I know babe. I appreciate it, both of you.” She turned her head towards Philip and met his eyes. “You guys are the best, I’m sorry for being such a Debbie downer. That ends right now.”

  “Yeah screw Debbie,” Philip said, and Amber and I both looked at him and waited for an explanation.

  “What did Debbie ever do to you, champ?” I asked curiously.

  “Nothing yet,” he said, “but anyways, since we are trying to be normal here, I have a game Friday, will you guys come?”

  Amber looked at me hesitantly and I wondered if she wanted me to make an excuse for her, but if not, I didn’t want to irritate her again, so I didn’t say anything and let her answer.

  “Yeah, I’ll go,” she said.

  Philip nudged me with his shoulder until I said, “Fine, it’s not like I have anything better to do so I might as well watch guys tackle and fondle each other.”

  “Why do you always say that? We don’t exactly hit each other with gentle caresses weirdo.” Philip was of course overly defensive about what takes place out on the field which is why I insisted on keeping up on teasing him about it.

  “Hey, I don’t know what you’re into. You said some weird things when you were drunk that night we partied.”

  “What did he say?” Amber asked. “What is he into Ky?”

  “It’s not really a what, rather it’s a who, but I don’t know if I should be the one to say it.”

  Philip turned towards me and grabbed onto both of my arms firmly. “Oh my god what did I say? Why didn’t you say something sooner?” He had a terrified look on his face like he believed I’d give him away. “Actually, no don’t say it now please.”

  I peeled his hands off me slowly, making a show of the power I wielded although, truth be told he hadn’t told me anything about who he was crushing on.

  I cleared my throat several times and Amber continued to watch me with rapt interest as Philip’s eyes were attempting to plead with my better half.

  “You actually didn’t say anything but now I know that there is in fact someone you’re digging you little liar. You always say there’s no one you’re interested in.” I pushed him and he still didn’t break his frozen stance, as his mouth hung open.

  It must have been some secret if he was that worried about it.

  I could relate.

  He finally spoke and said calmly, “You’re so rude Kyla.” Then he glanced nervously at Amber who had already rolled her eyes and moved on.

  Interesting.

  I thought about the weird exchange for the rest of the day, and it was only when we were busy working on our booth after school that I had forgotten about it.

  “Have you guys heard the latest rumors?” Philip asked, as he nailed our sign on which was the final piece to our shabby little wooden booth that would surely fall over if we all so much as touched the counter with a finger at the same time.

  “About what?” I handed him another nail and sent a glance over at Sora at his desk.

  He hadn’t spared us a glance once in the last hour, it didn’t matter if we were swearing, horsing around or talking about inappropriate things, he still didn’t look.

  I was about ready to throw something at his head, or grab the back of his chair and wheel him out of there to a high cliff somewhere, and make him beg for his life to get his attention.

  Philip put the hammer down and took a step back to check out his handy work, the sign was crooked, but he mumbled ‘perfect’ under his breath despite it and put the tools away.

  “So according to the football team I am either gay, doing you.” He pointed to Amber then pointed at me. “Or doing you, because the fact that I hang out with you guys and not them is otherwise unexplainable.”

  I peeked over his shoulder and finally made eye contact with Sora, apparently the rumor caught his attention. He had wanted nothing to do with me but me having sex with someone else was a concern to him, how typical.

  “I’m surprised they don’t think we are all doing it together, it would make more sense going by their evidence,” I said. “Whatever, I don’t have time to worry about what they think of us.”

  Amber looked more upset over the news than I would have anticipated. “So, they think...after me and Jake... that I’d...” When Philip nodded his head, she stopped speaking and kicked the booth.

  Philip and I both reached over to steady it at the same time before I reached out a hand to her.

  “Hey love, it’s all speculation it’s not like there is any truth behind it. Besides is it such a bad thing if Jake thinks you’ve moved on?” After I said it, I realized how stupid it was, no one should have thought that any of us were sleeping together and it probably made Philip extremely uncomfortable along with her. “Look I personally don’t care because I know the rumors will pass but I understand in your situation that you don’t want to look like that type of person. I get it, but don’t let them get you angry, Jake is a part of them, and he knows you dude. He knows you aren’t like that and he’s obviously not sticking up for you, is he Philip?”

  He shook his head and said, “Nah but he doesn’t exactly hang around the locker room to gossip either, he’s always running off somewhere.” He cleared his throat and busied himself with packing up his backpack.

  “Running off with Rachel you mean?” Amber asked, and Philip stopped rustling inside his bag and looked up at her.

  I could see it again, the worry in his eyes as he didn’t want to be the one to break her heart.

  Jake was such a coward, he never even attempted to explain anything to her, he couldn’t even tell her why he didn’t love her anymore, and after what they had been through, he just admitted to what he had done and dumped her. If he was going to dump her anyways, he could have at least done it before he hooked up with someone else.

  “Yeah, I’m sorry Amber,” he said, and we both watched as her eyes glazed over and tears slid down her cheeks.

  She wiped them away with the back of her hand and nodded a few times, it was her way of saying its okay, it is what it is, even though she was crying.

  She glanced over at Sora and my eyes followed him as he walked out of the classroom at an unusually fast pace. When the door shut behind him, I smiled because it was kind of him to give us some space for a moment.

  “This is great, I get cheated on, dumped, and then the football team makes me out to be a slut, meanwhile he’s off screwing the fakest girl in school and no one says a damn thing about it. Senior year was supposed to be fun; this was supposed to be our year and frankly it sucks. I don’t even want to finish school; I hate being here. I lied Okay! I’m not okay! Mostly because this is humiliating. I know I’ll survive but what’s even worse is not that it ended but how. Him and I… we weren’t supposed to go down like that, and everyone knows and talks about us.”

  She sat back down at a desk and put her head down between her hands as Philip took a step towards her and reached out his hand, but he let it drop in front of him instead of touching her.

  “For what it’s worth I told them it wasn’t like that with either of you, I told them we are good friends,” he said, “I really am sorry, if I could stop it I would. If I could beat the shit out of Jake I would because believe me I’ve thought about it. I figure the least I can do is try to give him a wedgie on the field or shove my jockstrap in his backpack.” He sat next to her and finally got the courage to put his hand on her head and he stroked it gently. “I’ve got ideas girl.”

  I sat back and watched them for a moment, as I was rather impressed that Philip stepped up and offered her comfort. The longer I watched t
he more I wondered if there was something there, or if there could be between them with time.

  He ran his hand gently down the back of her head and gazed down at her as she laughed through her tears with a warm smile on his face.

  There was a tenderness in the way he touched her and when she looked up at him it was almost shyly, which surprised me to see because it wasn’t a look she had often.

  “Thank you, but I’m good on you torturing Jake with your jockstrap,” she said, and she stood up again, before she walked up to Sora’s desk and grabbed a few tissues. “Thank you though.”

  “Pfft I didn’t even get to say anything,” I said.

  Sora walked back inside and looked around to check out the mood and decided it was safe before he went back to his desk.

  “Prince Charming over here stole my spotlight.” I walked up to Philip and flicked my hair and accidentally hit him in the face with it. “Don’t steal my spotlight boy or I’ll hurt you.”

  He scrunched his face up and swatted at my hair as he said, “Yeah well better watch out or I might just steal your girl completely.”

  “If you want her that much you can have her.” It was completely innocent and something I would have said no matter what the circumstances were, but the circumstances had most definitely changed because my words made things a bit awkward.

  No one had a witty retort, or a single thing to say instead they glanced at each other once and began cleaning our workstation.

  “You guys are weird today,” I muttered, as I began to clean up along beside them.

  When we were done cleaning, we hauled our booth to the auditorium to be kept backstage until Saturday night.

  Then said our goodbyes in the parking lot and instead of leaving I skipped my ass back to Sora’s class and crept inside as I was making yet another reckless decision.

  He had put in earbuds so luckily he hadn’t heard me enter.

  He was grading papers and drumming his pencil against his desk as I snuck up behind him. I hovered above him a moment to make sure he really didn’t know I was there, and when he showed no sign, I put my hands over his eyes, and he didn’t even flinch the slightest.

  He pulled out his earbuds before he spoke. “What do you want Kyla?” He pulled my hands off and stood up in front of me with his arms crossed over his chest and a look of displeasure on his face.

  “How did you know it was me? I came in here all ninja like and you were blowing your ears out with music!”

  He took a step towards me and I backed into the wall as I glanced at the door and back at him wondering what he was doing.

  “I could smell you,” he said.

  Creepy, but also hot.

  I feigned surprise and plastered myself against the wall. “What? Wait, what are you… no, let me guess, you’re a… you’re a vampire?” I extended my neck out in invitation. “Take me, take all of me!” I whisper yelled.

  I was about a second away from laughing at my own dorkiness, but it got stuck in my throat when I felt his warm lips softly graze the skin of my neck below my ear.

  My eyes flew open as I held completely still, because I didn’t want to ruin the moment or scare him off with my enthusiasm.

  All my senses heightened as his hot breath tickled my skin and a chill ran down my spine. I felt little flutters in my stomach, my heart began to race as his body was almost pressed against mine, and the desperate want to pull him closer to me took hold.

  He hovered there a moment before he tipped his head a little lower, and grazed his nose and mouth under my jaw before he trailed back up and whispered in my ear so softly I barely heard him. But he said them, the words that ruined the moment. “Please leave.”

  It was more of a plea than an order, and considering where we were, I had to comply.

  When he pulled away, I saw sadness in his face that only made me want to stay. But his eyes were begging me to leave, so I looked at the door and groaned, I had to go because to stay would have been too risky.

  I should have gone home in the first place but with the feel of his kiss still lingering on my neck I couldn’t bring myself to regret the risk, even though the look in his eyes made me worried it was the only kiss I was ever going to get.

  When I got home, I went upstairs and decided I’d dive right into my homework to make sure I had it all done before the weekend so I could enjoy Halloween.

  I pulled out my binder and dug around the bottom of my backpack for pencils, when my fingers found a paper wrapped like a note you pass to your friends in class.

  I grabbed it curiously as I wondered when someone had had the time to stick it in there without my noticing.

  I hadn’t received a note in years, not since everyone got cell phones and there was no longer a need for them.

  I unwrapped it and was surprised to find that it was printed and not handwritten, at the top it said introduction letter but there was no name, not that I needed one. I already knew it was Sora’s, he must have stuffed it in my bag when Amber, Philip and I went to grab supplies to work on our booth.

  I grinned like a fool and threw myself on my bed and held the letter up above my head.

  Dear woman with whom is a pain in my ass,

  My name cannot be revealed, but you may refer to me as nobody. I confess that I also don’t have many friends, just a few, but our relationships are not as close as yours and Ambers. It’s my fault as I have yet to put enough effort into anyone to deserve a true friendship such as yours. I’ve spent most of my life taking care of my mother with whom is addicted to prescription pills, she’s still a good woman so I beg of you not to think ill of her. She took care of me the best she could and in turn now I take care of her the best I can, but from a distance. A distance I desperately need but still feel guilty over.

  Growing up, when I wasn’t taking care of her, I was studying, I always thought that if I kept busy then I’d never be like her. I graduated high school early as you know and when I went to college, I overloaded myself every quarter so I could finish early. I had no time to make many good friends, and I do regret it, because I’m lonely. I’ve had several girlfriends, but they never worked out and it was mostly my fault, it was because I didn’t have time or rather, I didn’t make time for them and my relationships fell apart as a result. I’ve honestly never had a meaningful bond with another human being aside from my mom and as you can imagine our relationship suffers because of her personal choices.

  I don’t know how people see me, I suppose I come off cold and indifferent, but I feel as though I’m safest when I appear this way. So, I don’t think I’ll change it even if it’s not who I am inside. Music is really all over the board for me as well, but I suppose I lean more towards classic rock/metal. I read all kinds of different books and comics, I’m obsessed with tattoos and I enjoy antique shopping. I love food. All of it. I think people can be boring as well but maybe we just need to give them more of a chance. I have more of a problem with them being predictable and selfish as they always seem to want something from me. But I have nothing to give.

  I’ve had no father since he walked away and he took part of my mother with him, and because of this I don’t have a lot of faith in romantic love, it’s scary. Losing myself because of a girl terrifies me, and I’m sorry but that means that this can’t happen. I need you to know that my career has been my driving force in life, it’s been my reason to move forward and I don’t know who I’ll be if I lose it. I’m sorry for not having better restraint, I know I am to blame as well but I need to protect the only thing I have. The only thing that will stay around when the day is done, and feelings fade away.

  So, this is the only time I will admit it and I don’t know why I am, because I’m a grown man for fucks sake, but baby I have to be real if only for a moment. You’re breaking me. I want you so bad I can’t seem to focus on anything else and that’s a problem. Yes, this is my last effort to keep you away but just know before you recklessly throw my requests to the wind, that I stand to lose so much mo
re than you.

  This is a piece of me, I owe it to you, so take it for what it is and don’t ask for more.

  I didn’t know if I felt like laughing or crying, so I did both and then I got mad at myself because he was just a guy.

  Our lips had never even touched and yet my heart ached as if I was losing a lover.

  I couldn’t go on trying when he put it like that, I wouldn't put myself out there when it upset him so much.

  I’d cry, get angry at him and give up.

  He assumed I would be the end of his career and I had too much pride to argue with that even though I’d never do anything stupid to risk getting caught. Except the more I thought about it, even going back to his class was a risk, it was stupid, but people take risks all the time when there is something rewarding at the end.

  But I could put him first, I could be careful.

  But then, maybe he was right, I could never live with myself if he lost his job.

  So, I made up my mind, I’d respect his wishes and back off even though it was going to be even harder after reading his letter.

  I felt so bad I just wanted to hug him, I wanted to tell him I’d be a friend for now if he let me.

  I reread the letter two more times and decided I would do as he asked but I still wanted a chance to address the letter and say my piece.

  I looked out my window to make sure his car was in his driveway.

  It was nine o'clock and my parents were already in their room for the night, so it was easy to sneak out the backdoor.

  I was about to knock on his door when I heard feminine laughter from inside, so I peeked through the window to see him and Red sitting at his table eating a meal together.

  He was laughing like everything was fine, he was smiling like he was truly happy and suddenly I wondered if his letter was just a load of shit to thwart a teenage girl.

  Did he really think I was that dumb?

  Chapter 20

  Sora

  I felt like a teenager again, I told her to stay away, I practically begged her to, but then I got upset when she listened. It was a game I never imagined I’d play as an adult; I had been straight forward with every woman that came before her but in my defense, they hadn’t been forbidden to me.