Lindsay's Legacy

by Jones, Janice

  “What mistakes did I make?” Tawanda butted in. “I never had any beef or any confrontation with either of you. From what I understand, you two were the ones that were always scrapping, Keva. And old girl over there ain’t nothing but violent. She fought with Rhonda. She fought with you, and then she shot and killed Shaun and Rhonda. So tell me, what mistake did I make?”

  Both Lindsay and Keva stared at Tawanda in complete silence, as if she had grown another head before their very eyes. Keva was the first to address Tawanda’s crazy assessment.

  “Are you serious? What do you mean ‘what mistake’ did you make?” Keva paused to lower her voice as she realized she had gotten a little loud when the patrons again began looking their way. “You were sleeping with her husband,” she said while pointing at Lindsay. “You had a baby by a married man. You don’t see anything wrong with that?”

  Lindsay sat quietly perched in her seat, but her nerve endings were screaming, waiting for Tawanda to answer Keva’s questions.

  “Oh, please. You say it like I raped the man or something. Shaun and I had a consensual relationship. It started out as strictly a work thing, but once he found out she was sleeping with his lawyer, he came to me for comfort the moment he got out of prison.”

  So now Lindsay knew the truth. Shaun only started messing around with Tawanda after he found out that she had been seeing Cody. Wow! Keva’s voice interrupted her train of thought.

  “Either way, Tawanda, Shaun was married. So you were wrong. Lindsay having an affair with Cody was wrong. Me sleeping with Shaun and not being married to him was wrong. All of those wrongs were all of our fault,” Keva indicated by sweeping her arm around the table to point at each of them. “But we still have the children to contend with and raise, despite the fact that we all played a part in the wrongs. I just want them to be raised together like the blood family they are. Am I wrong for that?”

  Lindsay and Tawanda sat quietly after the gentle admonishing of Keva. Lindsay understood Keva’s ideology and applauded her maturity, recognizing that it was a result of her new identity in Christ. She too decided it was time to lay down all the misery of the past and to help lay a better foundation for all of the children.

  After Shaun’s death, Lindsay had taken the money from his bank accounts, the money stashed in their garage, and the money from the sale of all of their properties and divided it evenly among each of Shaun’s children. In hindsight, she realized it was easy to throw money at a situation in an attempt to fix it or make it look like she was being godly in doing so. But getting right there in the trenches and dealing with Shaun’s infidelities and the products of those issues would require true grit and true strength from God.

  “I’m with you, Keva. You are absolutely not wrong. All of our children should be raised together as family, including Sha’Ron. I mean, if he were my biological son, I would do all within my power to get him out of the drug game. So I will work with my husband to help Sha’Ron as much as possible.”

  Tawanda apparently did not share in Lindsay and Keva’s commitment toward the children. She rolled her eyes so far into the top of her head, the possibility of never again seeing the pupils of them seemed very real. She also sucked her teeth and groaned out her frustration loudly enough for those up to three booths away to hear.

  “There you go,” Tawanda said, addressing Lindsay. “You trying to be Sister Saintly, gon’ save poor little Sha’Ron from himself and all the big bad drug dealers. Well, in keeping it real, sweetheart, and having no shame in my game, I am married to one of those drug dealers.”

  While Tawanda claimed to have no shame in her game, she kept her voice very low while she flashed her left hand with the huge diamond ring on her finger.

  “So don’t be so quick to judge,” she said now talking to both Keva and Lindsay. “Neither of you seemed to have a problem with the dope man when you were both with Shaun.”

  “And look at where Shaun is now, Tawanda. Dead!” Keva said.

  “Well, that’s because his wife killed him, not the game.”

  “But the game killed my best friend. And like so many others before her and after her, she was an innocent victim.”

  Tawanda’s face showed an unreadable expression, almost akin to fear as Lindsay mentioned Shyanne’s murder. Keva stared at her puzzled while recognition swept through Lindsay like a freight train.

  She remembered that Tawanda was with Shaun the night Shyanne was gunned down in the street. She had actually had a physical altercation with Kevin just moments before Shyanne had been shot by the people who were, in fact, gunning for Shaun.

  “You remember it, don’t you, Tawanda?” Lindsay asked through clenched teeth.

  Water pooled in Tawanda’s eyes until the overage of liquid spilled out onto her cheeks. Keva stared, still unaware of the event these two were referring to.

  “What’s going on? What happened?” Keva asked gently to neither lady in particular. But it was Tawanda who supplied the explanation.

  “It was the scariest night of my life,” she strangled out. “One minute she was standing there, beating the crap out of the man I loved and I instantly hated her. The next minute, she was lying dead in the street with blood spilling from everywhere, and I unconsciously thanked her for inadvertently saving Shaun’s life.” Tawanda’s shoulders visibly shook under the weight of her muffled sobs.

  Silent tears ran unchecked from Lindsay’s eyes as she too recalled the worst night of her life. She maintained a control on herself that could have only been powered by God because her flesh wanted to choke Tawanda for what she just said.

  “When you think about it, Tawanda, the game really did kill Shaun. You see, the only reason I murdered him was because I felt he was responsible for my best friend’s murder. Shy was killed with bullets and hate that was meant for Shaun as a result of his position in the game,” Lindsay managed to explain in her grief.

  “Tawanda, sweetheart, I don’t think Lindsay was trying to put down your man in as much as she’s just trying to save Sha’Ron from the same fate his father met. Neither she nor I are in a position to judge you, but we can only advise you based on the harshness of our experiences. And from what it sounds like to me, you too have had at least one rather harsh experience yourself,” Keva said.

  Tawanda’s sobs finally subsided, but she continued to look facedown at the table. Lindsay’s tears still poured quietly from her eyes.

  At that moment the waitress appeared to do a final check on them and leave them their tab. She was so very confused when she left their table. First, they were screaming bloody murder at each other; now, they were solemn and crying. She could honestly say this had been the oddest experience for her in her five years of waitressing.

  “Tawanda, your husband is an adult, and he is responsible for his own decisions. Sha’Ron is still a child. Somebody has to take the responsibility for at least trying to properly guide his decisions. I have just decided today to be one of those people,” Lindsay said.

  “Me, too,” Keva agreed.

  “I’m not ready to let go of my husband and my marriage,” Tawanda said looking up at each lady.

  “We’re not asking that of you. We just want your permission to include Shauna in our children’s family,” Keva responded, looking at Lindsay for her agreement, who silently nodded her head.

  “Fine,” was Tawanda’s one-word acknowledgment.

  “Then I guess this dinner meeting proved to be a success despite all the drama and pain. Isn’t that just like God? He gives us victory through it all. I will gladly pay the check since all this drama was my idea,” Keva chuckled lightly.

  And back again to Red Lobster, Cody and all the children were having a great time laughing and learning. The kids were telling each other all about their lives, their likes, their dislikes, and their future plans. They were sharing and caring with one another as loving siblings.

  “How many points did you score in the championship game, Sha’Ron?” Li’l Shaun asked in awe after h
earing his big brother tell him how he scored the game-winning basket last season that sent his team to the championship.

  “Well, Li’l Shaun, it wasn’t just me in any of the games. It was all of the team that helped us win. I scored eleven points, and three other of my team members had between ten and twelve points too. Together, we won the championship.”

  Cody was curiously surprised by how humble Sha’Ron appeared before his brothers and sister. On the day he initially approached the young man about the reunion, he was tough and full of bravado. However, around his brothers and sister, he was gentle and mature. Qualities he obviously inherited from his dad.

  Shaun Taylor was a no-nonsense, hard-core street gangsta, but around his children, he was extremely compassionate and caring. For the sake of his kids, he would remove the hard-core veneer and just be open and loving with them.

  “Okay, I know Shauntae is a cheerleader and on the church’s dance team. Li’l Shaun loves bowling in the winter and softball in the spring. What about you, Kevaun? You look like a man who stays in shape. Do you play any sports?”

  “Yep,” Kevaun answered. “I play basketball and football. Next year in high school, I’ll also try out for the track team. They don’t have a team at my middle school.”

  “Cool. Look at this. All of Dad’s kids are athletes. We’ll all have to work together to make sure Shauna becomes an athlete too.”

  “Ohh. I can teach her how to dance,” Shauntae volunteered.

  Cody’s ringing phone in no way deterred the chatter of the siblings. “Hello, Lindsay.”

  “Hey, baby. We’re leaving Chili’s now and heading your way. Are you all almost done?”

  “Yeah. I think we can just about wrap this up. How did things go with you two ladies?”

  “Well, there were actually three of us. I’ll tell you all about it later. What about you and the kids?”

  “Things here were great. Give you more details later as well. See you in a few moments.”

  Cody disconnected the call and signaled for the waiter to bring their check. “Okay, guys and gal, we need to wrap this up. Your mothers are on their way over here.”

  Not mine, Sha’Ron thought silently to himself. At least now, though, in just a few minutes, he would have an opportunity to come face-to-face with the person who killed her.

  Cody noticed the shrouded look that appeared again on Sha’Ron’s face. He purposely looked at the young man after making the comment about the other kids’ mothers to see if it bothered him. Apparently it had. Cody wanted to apologize to Sha’Ron, but he knew that mentioning it would be awkward for everyone.

  Cody paid the check, and he and the crew went to stand in the front sitting area while they waited for Lindsay and Keva. Cody wondered if the mystery third person would be with them.

  He received his answer when approximately two minutes later he saw Lindsay’s face as Keva pulled her car into a parking space.

  Lindsay, without even thinking about Sha’Ron’s discomfort over seeing her, was the first to jump from the car. Keva got out next and urged Tawanda to come into the restaurant too.

  Cody saw the women approach, and his brain began processing two facts simultaneously. The mystery of who the third person was solved as he recognized Tawanda. The second fact was that Lindsay and Sha’Ron were about to be face-to-face. His wife was obviously not thinking.

  Lindsay, Keva, and Tawanda entered the double doors virtually at the same time. Kevaun walked toward his mother. Shauntae and Li’l Shaun scampered over to Lindsay. Cody again looked at Sha’Ron who, unable to mask his ire and contempt, stared maliciously at Lindsay. Each adult in the foyer noticed the look of pure evil on the young man’s face.

  Tawanda immediately took action. “Hey, Sha’Ron. You looking incredibly handsome today.” She turned his body to admire his outfit. Once his back was to the crowd, she went around him and gave him a big hug, hoping to squeeze some of the tension from him while he was no longer facing Lindsay.

  Lindsay felt awful for the fury she saw in Sha’Ron’s eyes that had been directed straight at her. She was not afraid, just ashamed of having been responsible for causing him the pain that propelled the hate.

  Before anyone could react, Sha’Ron pulled himself gently from Tawanda’s embrace. He mumbled a barely audible good-bye and rushed from the restaurant to his car. He left the parking lot just a little fast, but not necessarily recklessly.

  Everyone present felt bad for Sha’Ron. Everyone present knew the reason for his distress, including Li’l Shaun.

  “I’m so sorry. I didn’t even think about the impact seeing me would have on him when I left the car.” Lindsay was truly remorseful about her uncalculated appearance before Sha’Ron.

  Cody walked over to his wife and pulled her into a light embrace. “Don’t worry about it, love. This is just something we’ll have to deal with as time moves forward.”

  “We had a good time, Mom,” Shauntae announced to change the subject and lighten the mood. The other two kids began sharing their joy about the reunion as well.

  “I’m glad to hear you all enjoyed yourselves with each other. I want you all to meet Ms. Tawanda. Tawanda is Shauna’s mother. She has agreed to let her daughter join you all the next time you get together.” Each of the children took their time shaking Tawanda’s hand.

  Lindsay then formally introduced Shauntae and Li’l Shaun to Keva. Keva did the same between Kevaun and Lindsay.

  The whole crew then said their good-byes, promising to be in touch soon to set up another reunion. They then left the building, each headed to their respective two vehicles and their respective three homes.

  Sha’Ron drove home at a fast but safe pace. He pushed his Mustang as fast as he could and still stayed safe from unwanted legal attention. He was furious. He was certain that if he’d had his gun on him, he would have pulled it and shot her dead right there in front of everyone. He thought he could handle being close to her. But he was not prepared. As they say in the hood, he was not ready... .

  Chapter Nine

  One week had passed since Shauntae and Li’l Shaun had spent the afternoon with Sha’Ron and Kevaun. However, not an hour had passed that whenever the kids were in her presence, Lindsay did not have to listen to them relive that afternoon. She was pleased with the joy the reunion had brought her children, so she didn’t mind listening to them go on and on about it.

  Today, however, would probably be a day of very different emotions for her babies. Today, they would have their very first appointment with Dr. Nancy Hooper.

  Lindsay had no idea how Dr. Hooper would conduct the session, but she was certain that there would be some unpleasantness for her children. She dreaded the pain she knew the therapy would produce, but she also knew this would help the children in the long run. Most important, she knew God would see them through this and on the other side of through would be a blessing.

  Shauntae and Li’l Shaun knew they had the appointment this morning. Neither child seemed thrilled at the prospect of having to go. All through breakfast they sulked.

  “Mom, I don’t understand how sitting and talking with a stranger about our feelings will help us. Doesn’t it make more sense to just let it go and forget about it? Isn’t that what they are always teaching us in church; that we should just forgive and let it go?”

  “Shauntae, can you forget about your father?”

  “Of course not,” she said as she rolled her eyes at her mother’s silly question.

  “Honey, Dr. Hooper is going to help you and Li’l Shaun learn how to always remember your dad and help teach you to deal with any guilt or anger or shame that may be associated with his death.”

  Shauntae finished her breakfast in silence realizing her mother was not going to change her mind about taking them to therapy. Li’l Shaun followed his sister’s lead.

  The kids looked miserable, Lindsay thought. But everything in her told her she was doing the right thing. She only wished Cody were there to reassure her. Unfortuna
tely, he had left about thirty minutes before to meet with a client who only had Saturdays available.

  “Okay, you two, finish up in here, and then get your coats on. We need to leave in about fifteen minutes to make sure we get to the office by nine-thirty. I have to get there a little early to complete some paperwork.”

  Lindsay and the kids arrived at Dr. Hooper’s office at exactly nine-thirty. From the look on the children’s faces as they walked from the car to the office entrance, someone would have assumed they were headed to the dentist for root canals or the pediatrician for immunizations.

  Soon after Lindsay completed the intake forms and insurance information, Dr. Hooper came to the lobby and called for Shauntae and Li’l Shaun. Lindsay left her seat to go with the children.

  “Mrs. Taylor ...” Dr. Hooper started after looking at the paperwork.

  “Dr. Hooper, my last name is Vincini. I remarried.” No one had mistakenly called her Taylor since Shaun’s death.

  “Forgive me, Mrs. Vincini. It’s right here on the paperwork if I had bothered to look more carefully. Right now, today, I just want to speak with the kids. Would you mind waiting here in the reception area?”

  Lindsay instantly became defensive as she digested Dr. Hooper’s words. This elegantly beautiful, dark-hued woman was speaking and thinking crazy if she thought for a second that she was taking her kids anywhere without her.

  “Dr. Hooper, this is a very delicate subject matter we are here to seek help about. I think it would be best if I was with my children while you talk to them.” Lindsay had explained to Dr. Hooper what the issues with the children were when she initially spoke with her on the phone.

  “Mrs. Vincini, I am aware of the issues we are dealing with here. It has been my experience in dealing with children for many years, however, that they are far more open when the parents are not in the room, especially when the parent is the focal point of the issue or issues.”

  Ouch! That statement about her being the reason the kids needed therapy stung. Hard! Lindsay poked her lip out, but in an effort to not show out in front of her children she checked her hurt feelings before speaking again.