Lindsay's Legacy

by Jones, Janice

  “Dr. Hooper, I understand that you are a professional and have probably seen almost everything under the sun when it comes to children’s issues, but I’m sure our case ranks as unique. I’m not saying that it’s special, just more than likely different than those you have seen before.”

  “May I call you Lindsay?”

  “No, you may not,” Lindsay answered sounding seriously affronted by Dr. Hooper’s request. She quickly tried to rectify the situation as Dr. Hooper stared bug-eyed at her.

  “What I meant to say is I’m not very fond of my first name. I would prefer to be called Nay or Nay-Nay, short for my middle name, Renee.” Lindsay realized that her quick reply was a result of how displeased she was with Dr. Hooper’s insistence on speaking with Shauntae and Li’l Shaun without her.

  “Nay-Nay. Is that better?” Lindsay simply nodded so that she would not say anything else offensive.

  “Nay-Nay, I have seen cases that you cannot begin to even imagine. Trust me when I say this situation is not a new one for me. Please allow me to do my job and more important, allow me an opportunity to help your children.”

  Lindsay was still not comfortable with Dr. Hooper’s suggestion, but realized this was just a consultation. If the kids seemed in any way harmed by their visit she would not bring them back.

  “Okay, Dr. Hooper. I will allow you to do this your way. I pray this goes okay for my kids.”

  “Well, I will start by telling you this won’t be easy. But I promise,” she looked at her paperwork again to confirm their names, “Shauntae and Shaun will be no worse than before they got here.”

  Dr. Hooper ushered the children through the door and away from Lindsay without another word. Lindsay sat in the waiting room flipping through old magazines while her children were in their trial session with the therapist.

  Dr. Hooper asked Shauntae and Li’l Shaun to sit on the sofa in her office. She sat in the armchair next to the sofa. She preferred this method when there was more than one child in her office. Otherwise, she would have sat behind her desk and allowed the single child to sit in one of the armchairs in front of her.

  “Shauntae, Shaun, I am Dr. Nancy Hooper. I’m hoping to speak with the both of you today and try to get an idea from you how you are feeling inside about some things you have experienced.”

  Shauntae and Li’l Shaun sat completely still while they listened to Dr. Hooper talk. Neither of them said a word so the doctor continued.

  “Why don’t we start with each of you telling me a little about yourselves. I know how old you are, so I can pretty much guess what grade you are in. Tell me what kind of grades you get. Shauntae, you go first.”

  Hesitantly, Shauntae began. “I get good grades. Nothing less than a B ever. I’m a cheerleader, and I love to dance.” Shauntae ended her assessment of herself there.

  “Good, Shauntae. Thank you. Now, tell me about you, Shaun.”

  In normal fashion, Li’l Shaun pretty much mimicked his sister in tone and posture. “I get good grades too. No Cs or Ds or Fs ever. I play softball, and I bowl.”

  Dr. Hooper took notice of how Shaun imitated his big sister. She would be careful from this point on to usually address him first for any responses.

  “Shaun, tell me what you like to do on the weekends. Let’s start with what you did last weekend.”

  Both kids visibly perked up. They sat up straighter, and their faces instantly became brighter. Dr. Hooper couldn’t wait to hear what the children did that caused such enthusiasm.

  “Last Saturday we had dinner with our big brother Sha’Ron who we haven’t seen in a long time. Our other big brother, Kevaun, was there too, who I have never seen before, but Shauntae hadn’t seen in a long time. It was a lot of fun.” Shaun ended his spiel with a warm smile.

  Shauntae started talking next without having to be prompted. “We went to Red Lobster with our stepfather. My brother Sha’Ron is so cool. My brother Kevaun is really cute. I can’t wait for my friends to meet them. We also found out that we have a three-year-old sister too. She wasn’t there, but her mother said she can join us the next time we get together.”

  Dr. Hooper wrote some notes on the pad, jotting down this huge piece of information. These are obviously the other children of their now deceased father, she thought to herself.

  “Good. It sounds like both of you are quite happy to have these siblings in your life. That is a very good thing.” Both children excitedly nodded their agreement.

  “Do you two understand what I mean when I say that your other siblings are the products of other relationships your father was involved in outside of the relationship he had with your mother?”

  Li’l Shaun looked to Shauntae, indicating he was not quite sure what Dr. Hooper said. Shauntae, however, acknowledged that she knew.

  “I understand, Dr. Hooper,” Shauntae said. “It means that our father cheated on our mother with these other women. As a result, these other women, Keva and Tawanda, got pregnant. Sha’Ron’s mother, Rhonda, was our father’s girlfriend before he married our mother, though.”

  Dr. Hooper saw that Shaun’s eyes now reflected comprehension after his sister’s very plainly put explanation, so she continued. “Very good, Shauntae. Do you all understand that your mother killed Sha’Ron’s mother?”

  Both kids nodded silently that they did. “How do you feel about that? Why don’t you tell me how you feel first, Shaun?”

  After hesitating for a brief moment, Shaun began to speak about his feelings. “I remember she was trying to hurt my mommy and my sister. I remember screaming and telling her to leave them alone. I was really scared by the loud noise from the gun and really scared too when the lady fell on the ground right near my mommy.”

  “You remember that? You were only four years old.” Shauntae was certainly surprised by her brother’s recollection.

  Dr. Hooper pushed past Shauntae’s question to continue her own questioning.

  “Okay, Shaun, you were scared. Did you feel anything else?”

  “Like what do you mean?”

  “You said you were scared. Okay. Did you feel anything else like sad or glad? Did you want to cry?”

  Shaun seemed deep in thought, as if he was struggling to process his exact feelings about that ill-fated day. Finally he reported. “I wanted her to leave my mommy and my sister alone. When my mommy shot her, I guess I was glad because she couldn’t hurt them anymore. But I was still scared.”

  Dr. Hooper nodded her head in understanding. Shauntae stared at her little brother with compassion and complete awareness of what he was talking about.

  “Okay, Shauntae, it’s your turn to tell me how you felt on that day.”

  “I felt pretty much the same as my brother did. I was very scared when she attacked my mother, and I felt I had to help her. When she turned her attack on me, I was happy that my mother was able to get her to stop hurting us, but terrified that she actually shot her.”

  Dr. Hooper looked at both children, clearly able to accept their similar stories as factual accounts of their true feelings. She jotted down a few more notes, then continued with her evaluation. “Now that you realize Rhonda was your brother Sha’Ron’s mother, does that make you feel anything different? Shaun, again, I want you to speak first.”

  “I feel bad that his mother is dead, and I feel sad that my mother killed her. I’m glad that my mommy is not dead, though, and that Rhonda didn’t kill my mommy.”

  Honest. Very good, Dr. Hooper thought. “Okay. Your turn, Shauntae.”

  “I feel very bad for Sha’Ron,” Shauntae began without hesitation. “The other day when everyone else’s mother arrived to pick them up and his wasn’t there I just wanted to cry for him. I also felt guilty because it was my own mother who took his mother away from him. Like Li’l Shaun said, I’m glad our mom wasn’t killed, but I wish there was something else that could have happened for Sha’Ron’s sake.”

  Again, Dr. Hooper inwardly applauded the children’s honesty, and she reflected such
in her notepad.

  “Okay, you two, here is a more difficult question for you to answer. Because your mother killed your father, as well as Sha’Ron’s mother, she had to go to prison for a couple of years. How did her being away from you all of that time make you feel about her? Shauntae, why don’t you start this time?”

  Dr. Hooper chose Shauntae to go first despite her belief that Shaun would have parroted all of his sister’s previous replies. She trusted this time he would be more apt to express his own true feelings because he had done so before. She hoped her instinct would prove correct.

  “I’m not sure how to answer that question, Dr. Hooper,” Shauntae said.

  “Just tell me how you honestly felt while your mother was in prison. There are not right or wrong answers to anything I ask. I just want the truth about your feelings. That’s it.”

  “Well, I think my grandmother took really good care of my brother and me. Cody helped too. But it was really hard not having my mother there all the time. Going to visit her was hard too. I mean, I liked when we were able to see her, but having to leave her, leaving her behind in that prison, drove me a little bit crazy every time.” Shauntae paused to collect her thoughts. She stared off a little as if remembering and reliving the painful times when she said good-bye to her mother while she was in prison.

  “It was kind of embarrassing to have a mother who was in prison, not to mention that she was there because she killed two people. Having to explain that to my friends and classmates was not cool. I sometimes just wanted to tell people she was dead. It seemed like the easier thing to do. But I didn’t want to speak a curse on her, so I never said that.”

  Sensing that Shauntae had completed her explanation, Dr. Hooper asked Shaun to state his feelings.

  “I love Grandma, and I love Cody. But I really missed my mom. I used to cry a lot at first. I was so sad. I didn’t talk about her being in jail with my friends. When people would ask about my mother, I would just say she left and now we live with our grandmother. When she came home, I told them she came back from a long work trip.”

  “Okay. You two did a great job sharing your thoughts and feelings. Our session today was what we will call a consultation. I needed to hear from you all to find out what’s going on inside of you. Now it’s up to your mother to decide if she thinks you will return to see me. If she thinks it’s a good idea, then I will see the two of you twice a month. Now, let me get you back to your mother so I can speak briefly with her.”

  The three of them walked back to the reception area. Dr. Hooper summoned Lindsay while she instructed the kids to sit for just a few moments. Lindsay started in before Dr. Hooper had a chance to utter a word.

  “How did it go, Dr. Hooper? Did they tell you anything? Were they open and honest with you?”

  Dr. Hooper placed her hands on Lindsay’s shoulders to calm and steady her. Lindsay recognized the gesture and took a deep breath. Dr. Hooper then began to answer her questions.

  “Shauntae and Shaun were both very open and very honest. They have dealt with quite a lot. I believe they have handled themselves amazingly well under the circumstances. At any rate, I do believe they will benefit from therapy. I would also like to recommend that you and your husband continue to allow and encourage them to spend time with their half siblings. This is very important to both children. If you would like them to continue with me, you can set up an appointment with the receptionist for two weeks from today. We will then keep it at that pace for an initial six months.”

  Lindsay nodded as the doctor spoke. She was pleased with what she heard, even though the information was a lot less thorough than she would have liked. She understood, however, this was how therapists acted with their clients.

  “Do you think I will have an opportunity to sit in with them during your sessions?”

  “Certainly. At times it will be absolutely necessary.”

  “Okay, then, I guess you are their psychologist, Dr. Hooper.” Lindsay extended her hand, and the doctor shook it very professionally.

  Lindsay made an appointment with the receptionist as instructed; then she and the children headed home. The ride to the house was quiet though neither of the children seemed sullen. Lindsay just allowed them to process their initial therapy session without bombarding them with a million questions. The moment they got into the house the quiet came to an end.

  “Mom, I’m going to call Sha’Ron and see when we can all get together again.”

  “Yay!” was Li’l Shaun’s response to his sister’s announcement.

  Lindsay started to protest because she felt the kids should wait until Sha’Ron called them. She didn’t want them to set themselves up for a letdown if he decided he didn’t really want to be bothered with his younger siblings beyond last week. She then remembered what Dr. Hooper said about encouraging the relationships with their half siblings.

  “Uh, okay. Just let me know what he says so we can plan accordingly,” Lindsay replied.

  Shauntae raced off to her room to make the phone call. She returned to the family room about fifteen minutes later, just when Cody walked into the house and kissed her mom. She gave both parents an update.

  “Hi, Cody. Mom, Sha’Ron said we can get together today if it’s cool with everyone else. I’m going to call Kevaun. Sha’Ron says he will get in touch with Shauna’s mom. I hope she says yes. I really want to see my little sister. Is it okay for us to go, Mom?”

  “Go where?” Cody asked as he was clueless about the conversation his wife and stepdaughter were having.

  “Shauntae and Li’l Shaun want to hang out with their siblings today,” she explained to Cody. She then readdressed Shauntae. “Isn’t this short notice, sweetie? Where will you all go?”

  “Sha’Ron says we can all meet at Fairlane Mall and hang out for a while. We can get something to eat and just kick it with each other there. Please can we go, Mom?”

  “Please?” Li’l Shaun added.

  “Shauntae, give me a few minutes to talk with Cody about this, then I’ll let you know. Just fifteen minutes, okay?”

  Shauntae looked a little defeated, but decided not to give up hope just yet. She and Li’l Shaun walked up the stairs and both went into her room while they awaited the verdict. Shauntae decided to call Kevaun and at least alert him to the possibility.

  Lindsay gave Cody the rundown on what happened with the therapist. “She feels we should encourage the children’s interaction with their siblings,” she concluded.

  “I don’t disagree with her. I think they should spend as much time as possible with each other,” Cody replied.

  “I’m no longer against this, necessarily, Cody. It just sounds like the kids are planning this outing to be without any chaperones. I don’t know if they are ready for that yet.”

  “Are you worried about them being ready or you being ready?”

  “Both,” Lindsay openly admitted. “I know what the psychologist said, and I trust her judgment. But she doesn’t know that Sha’Ron is a petty drug dealer.”

  “I understand your concern, baby, but it’s an open public mall. How much trouble can they get into? And you know the security doesn’t play at Fairlane Mall.”

  Lindsay looked into Cody’s eyes, and he could see his wife acquiescing. “We’ll drop them off, give them a time limit, and be right there to pick them up. It will be fine, Lindsay.”

  “Okay. Fine. I’m going to trust your judgment.” Lindsay called the kids and gave them the news.

  “Yes! Thank you, Mom,” Shauntae exclaimed excited.

  “Thank you, Mommy,” Li’l Shaun repeated as he hugged first his mother, then Cody, and finally his sister.

  “What time are you all supposed to meet?” Cody asked.

  “Sha’Ron says we can meet right outside of Sears at about four. Is that all right?” Shauntae asked.

  “That’s fine,” Lindsay said. “Cody and I will drop you two off; then we will come back and get you, let’s say, around seven.”

  “Ok
ay. I’m gonna go and call Sha’Ron and Kevaun and let them know everything is cool. I can’t wait to meet my little sister.”

  “Me too,” Li’l Shaun said as he followed Shauntae right on her heels as she left the room.

  Chapter Ten

  At 4:00 P.M., Cody and Lindsay parked close to the Sears entrance of the mall. Lindsay decided to stay in the car so she wouldn’t again upset Sha’Ron. She saw Keva walking up to the entrance with Kevaun just as Cody approached with the kids. She then watched them disappear into the mall to escape the cold.

  When Cody returned, Keva was with him. “Hey, girl,” she said to Lindsay.

  “Hey. Good to see you again.” Lindsay exited the car to embrace Keva.

  “So what are you going to do with these few hours of free time?” Lindsay asked Keva.

  “My husband, Cheval, and I are going to catch a movie at the theater right on the other side of this mall. He’s over there getting the tickets now.”

  “Oh. I wish I could have met him. I feel much better knowing that you won’t be too far away from the kids.”

  “That’s the plan,” Keva assured Lindsay. “So what are you going to get into?”

  “It just hit me. My wife and I are going to go home and spend a good quality few hours with each other.” Cody smiled mischievously at Lindsay. She returned his grin catching his meaning and liking his thought process.

  “All right then! I ain’t mad at cha,” Keva laughed. “Enjoy. And if you don’t have a problem with it, I can drop the kids off after we are all done here. I’ll make sure they are home no later than eight P.M.”

  “That’ll work,” Lindsay said. “Let me give you our address.” She reached into the car to grab her purse to retrieve a pen and something to write on; then she handed Keva the paper and gave her a hug before slipping back into the warm vehicle.

  “Okay, you two, I’ll see you in a little while.” Keva jogged quickly to her own car as Cody pulled from the parking space.