by Anna Ruch
"Where are we going?" I wanted to know from her. "This is where the ferries leave for the Statue of Liberty." "That's right, that's where we want to go," she replied as a matter of course. "A good friend of mine is driving the ship and he still owes me a favor. Would you like to visit the old lady with me?"
"What a question!" it rushed through my mind. Did I want to? I wanted nothing else! I just wanted to be with her. No matter when, no matter where, no matter how: I just wanted to be with her.
The thought of my imminent departure I pushed aside completely. This night was to be ours. I rejected all possible doubts and let myself be completely guided by my feelings.
Like two teenagers in love we ran to the landing stage where a pleasure boat had moored. The captain was still there. Without hesitation, Emma pulled me aboard and asked me to take a seat on the visitor's deck before disappearing toward the captain's cabin. A little later, the lines were released and the trip on the Hudson River towards Liberty Island began.
When Emma returned to me, she held two glasses and a bottle of champagne in her hands.
"Mike always has a bottle on board just in case," she explained laughing, "because he often goes out at night with his girlfriend.
She put the bottle and glasses aside and took me in her arms again. What a feeling. Although it was still quite warm at night at this time of the year, a light shower flowed through my body. We looked deep into each other's eyes and - oh God, did it feel good - our lips approached. We kissed each other and our tongues touched timidly.
Contented and happy we went to the railing and looked at the ever shrinking brightly lit skyline of Manhattan, cuddled together and unable to say a word, because every word might have destroyed the magic.
After about half an hour we moored at the island. Supplied with the bottle of champagne we left the ship.
Although I had been here many times before, I had never experienced the island empty and deserted. A calming and gentle silence surrounded us. The illuminated statue appeared in a very surreal light.
"And where are we going now?" I asked.
"A little further on, there's a small pavilion. From there we have a beautiful view of Manhattan and yet we are undisturbed."
Emma smiled at me. I felt tension and excitement in every fiber of my body.
Before I knew it, that pavilion was looming in the night sky. "Come," Emma whispered in my ear, and the next comforting shower came.
As we entered the pavilion, the moon shone down on us and I could clearly see what her eyes were trying to tell me.
Strange, why hadn't I noticed this place before? Or was it only in my imagination?
The popping of the cork that brought me back to her from my second dream left no doubt that my experience was reality. She had filled the glasses and sealed them with a tender kiss, we toasted ourselves and our encounter.
My heart beat stronger and stronger, my whole body was tense and my desire grew with every breath. Emma's breath was also going faster now. A light breeze surrounded us and wore her perfume to my nose. That scent suited her. It had a very feminine, playful yet clear note. Even then I knew I'd never be able to forget that smell.
There we were. All alone on the island. In the distance we could see the outlines of this impressive city. But it seemed like another world. Here only we and our feelings counted. Slowly, very slowly her face approached mine. Her arms embraced my upper body and pulled me gently to the ground. Only now did I notice that Emma had spread out a blanket and formed a kind of pillow from her jacket. We kissed and wanted to soak up every second of the night. Our hands moved naturally to the right places on our bodies. Tenderly, I moved my hand through her hair and gently caressed her face with my fingers. Her eyes were shining and a soft sigh slipped out of her mouth.
I never thought I could have such feelings. Sure, I'd been with women before. But this was different. Unlike the earlier times, I was able to turn my head completely off. No thoughts about tomorrow, no thoughts about whether this encounter was good for my career or what my friends would think of it. This night was determined by the certainty of having met a very special person. A person who - without me having any idea at the time - would turn my life completely upside down.
After that night, nothing would ever be the same again. But this I was to understand only much later.
At that moment, all that mattered was my desire and the irrepressible desire to make this woman, who had come into my life so unexpectedly, happy.
Emma paused briefly and looked at me with her sparkling eyes as if to ask if I was okay with what just happened here. And how it was okay. As okay as nothing had ever been in my life, because I felt safe around her, the trust in her was unspeakably great.
She bent over me, and everything in me wanted to. Right here, right now!
She kissed me passionately while she gently unbuttoned my blouse. My upper body arched towards her and demanded her tender touches.
My hands also found their way under her blouse, because I wanted to touch and feel her. Her skin felt so wonderfully velvety. Never before had I felt anything like it when I touched a woman. Clearly I could feel the goose bumps that covered her body, not because she was freezing, no, because she too reacted to my touch.
Gently Emma grazed my blouse from my shoulders, which fell silently and as if in slow motion onto the meadow. Every fibre of my body was filled with her tender caresses. Slowly, I opened her blouse, skilfully freed her from her bra and covered her upper body with my kisses. Now we sat opposite each other, stroked each other and enjoyed looking at the other while doing so.
She was so incredibly beautiful that I could have cried at the sight. So that was the touching feeling of what was talked about in many films or what great poets had tried their hand at. Never before had I experienced these feelings or even been able to comprehend them. This kind of closeness had always been just a way to show the others that I liked them. I listened with interest to my friends when they talked about their infatuation, described how colourful the world suddenly appeared to them and how wonderful and incomparable everything was. And yet I thought it impossible to be allowed to take part in this magic myself. Now it had happened and I was simply overwhelmed. The world around us seemed to stand still. A longing that I had never even imagined before burst forth in me.
The soft moonlight bathed her naked breasts in a very special shimmer and I could see how aroused she was. The stars above us sparkled as if they were shining just for us.
I clearly felt my desire. But for me it was not about the pure act. Rather I was overwhelmed by what I saw, what I felt when I touched her.
All these wonderful feelings drove me and I let them. It was Emma who set the pace. She unbuttoned my pants and ran them down my legs and feet. I felt her hands touching my body, her lips moving across my back. With pleasure, I turned into her movement and gave myself completely to our passion. Wordlessly but just as excitedly she followed me into this wave and together we stroked each other to the climax until it exploded in us almost simultaneously like fireworks. Filled with this happiness we held on to each other, tightly embraced, as if we wanted to hold on to this moment forever. We had become one. It was as if heaven had opened its gates to give us the unique chance to see its glory. An indescribable wave of happiness rolled over me and tears of joy shot into my eyes. So this was it, the encounter that brought me into the world. And I recognized in Emma the soul that is connected with me from the beginning to the end of time. She is my second half, she is my lost part.
"Incredible," she sighed. Ja, that's what I thought, incredible but true. Dass I never thought I would feel so intense and deep. But now I experienced that it had become true after all, and I felt her with everything that she was and everything that I ever wanted.
And I realized that there was an inherent uniqueness to this event that you would probably only encounter once in a lifetime.
After indefinite time, the rising sun colored the sky into a divine light, we dresse
d. What should we do now? I looked at my watch, which lay next to me in the grass, and realized with shock that it was already six o'clock. In less than seven hours my plane would take me back to Cologne. Mercilessly and inevitably reality caught up with us.
Why hadn't we met when I first came to New York? Where had Emma been all that time?
Deep down I knew that she could never have met me before. At an earlier time I would have been far from being able to let her into my heart. Never would I have given myself to such a desire and trusted my feelings so blindly. Much too much I had been trapped in myself, in my ideas and self-imposed principles. Principles according to which such a relationship was simply not allowed to exist in my professional circles. Without ever really thinking about it, I had based my behaviour on false advisors. For far too long I had followed the mistaken belief that it would harm my career and my reputation to give myself to the only true love for my person. I had played my role well and had followed the values of society without contradiction. I had always avoided direct questions about my relationships and preferred to let my fellow men speculate.
How could I have done without living out my desires for so long? How could I have blocked myself against it for so long?
"Are you all right?", Emma's soft voice pulled me back from my thoughts. "Yes - or actually no. I don't know." Irritiert she looked at me. "Did I do something wrong?"
Her question made me understand that she did not understand why I could not give her a clear answer. I took a breath and tried to sort out the confused flashes of thoughts in my head.
"No, on the contrary, you did everything right. It was, no, it's beautiful with you. I just realized what I've been missing the last few years. And now that I've found you, I have to leave. All these months I've been hiding behind my events, going out with John and his friend. "But I've never been able to get back to real life.
I looked at her tenderly. The wave of knowledge was stirring up my inner life.
"But then everything is all right," she replied.
"Not really. Finally, I fly back to Cologne in seven hours, the city where I grew up and to which I never wanted to turn my back. I have always longed to go back there, although I find New York fascinating and this city has really inspired me. And now, on my last night here, you have come into my life."
I could no longer hold back my tears. Emma looked at me and hugged me. She lovingly kissed the tears from my cheeks. My God, that felt good. Her touch soothed me, and I cuddled up to her.
"We will meet again!" Oh, how much I would like to believe her, I thought. "I learned early on that you always see each other twice in life. And that knowledge allowed me to enter your life on your last night."
"Are you really convinced of this? Or are you just trying to calm me down," I asked incredulously.
"If I wasn't convinced of this myself, last night would have been different. Believe me, I haven't experienced anything like it myself. I have been with other women before, but this one was, or rather: is something special. It was more intense and soulful than anything I have experienced before. We will meet again."
"And when and where will that be?"
Without really wanting to, my words sounded quite irritated now, after all I had to leave them behind. For me, starting tomorrow, my new old life would begin. I would see my old friends again and walk through the streets I knew so well. But deep inside of me I knew that it would be different. That one night had changed me and I wished so much that she could accompany me.
Without having uttered the thought, Emma shook her head sadly as if in response. "I'm sorry I can't come with you. "My work won't allow it.
Instead of continuing to talk us through the little time we had left, she kissed me, thus giving me a part of her trust and security.
Wordlessly we went hand in hand to the jetty and took the ferry towards Manhattan. Arriving on the other side, she gave me her silver ring.
"He will accompany you and remind you of me. You'll see, one day we'll be together again."
Before I could react in any way, she put me in a taxi, instructed the driver to start immediately and closed the door. Speechless, I let the taxi go. However, after I had overcome the initial shock, I got the driver to stop the car. Agitated, I jumped out of the car and looked for Emma. But she had already disappeared, just as if she had gone back to another world.
Although the impressions and experiences of the last few hours still resonated within me, I was suddenly no longer sure whether I had really experienced all this. Only the ring reminded me that it had not been a dream.
Tears obscured my view as I got back into the taxi as if in a trance.
EMMA
Visibly dazed, I looked behind the taxi for a moment. My emotions were running high. What a night, what a woman. I had never been able to let myself fall like that before. Never had I ever known a person so familiar in such an inexplicable way. Last night, I must have been under an illusion. Too much martini, then the atmosphere.
Well, Hannah could take your breath away. The way she stood there all of a sudden, and I couldn't take my eyes off her. Her blonde hair falling down to her shoulder framed a beautiful face. And her blue eyes shining everlastingly, as if she had only happiness inside her.
How could it be that I had met her by chance? Originally, I hadn't even wanted to go to the party that my work colleague Jane, Hannah's roommate, whom I didn't know personally, had invited me to.
Jane and I had known each other for many years. After I moved to New York from Orlando and took my new job as marketing manager in the advertising agency where Jane worked, we became more and more friends over time. A few weeks ago, she had looked for a new flat share, which is not unusual for New York rents. When she finally found one, she had to come to terms with the current tenant for a short time. Jane had told me about Hannah a few times. But for me, she had been just a name around the story of a shared apartment. Now all of a sudden she was the woman who totally captivated me. Nothing like this had ever happened to me before.
Since I had my private coming out at the age of 18, I lived my orientation only in the very private sphere, very careful to keep this separate from my professional environment. For Hannah, I would be willing to change this. But what was the meaning of that? In a few hours she will fly back to Germany and I will stay here in New York.
At that time I didn't know how strong our connection really was and what surprises life had in store for me.
I can't remember how long I wandered the streets aimlessly. Eventually I realized that my phone rang continuously.
"Hello?", visibly irritated, I answered.
"Hi Emma, it's Stacy. Where have you been? I've been trying to reach you since last night."
Stacy was a close acquaintance of mine, with whom I had an affair a few months ago. However, after we realized what different ideas we had about a relationship, we agreed on a friendly contact
"Sorry. Last night I was at a party in Central Park and now I'm walking around town."
"Is everything okay with you?" Stacy drilled.
"Yes," I replied reluctantly. "Well, I met someone yesterday and lost someone today."
"So, so, met someone yesterday." I could just see her grin on the other end of the line.
"It's not what you think. But couldn't we rather discuss this in person?" "Sure. Give me an hour. Where shall we meet?
"Hold on. I just need to get my bearings. I"m in the Village. Shall we meet at the Greenwich and Vandam Street diner?" "Okay, see you soon"...
I could always count on Stacy. Barely sixty minutes later she stormed into the diner where I had already taken a seat in a corner.
"Honey, what's wrong? Where is she? What happened?"
"Oh, man, what can I say? I've never seen anything like it. Suddenly she was standing there and I couldn't concentrate on anything else. It was simply unbelievable," I sighed.
"Where have you been? Somehow I'm missing some basic information."
Of course, Stacy must
have thought I was completely nuts by now. After all, she hadn't been to the party, so she couldn't know what had happened. "So yesterday I spontaneously went with my work friend Jane to a party in honor of her roommate. Jane and Hannah, the name of the woman in question, have only lived together for a short time. Hannah goes back to Germany and Jane takes over her part in the apartment. Well, Jane just asked me to go to the party with her."
"And then what happened?" Curiosity was written on Stacy's face.
"When we joined the party, there were already a lot of people there. "We went to get a drink and Jane disappeared with a friend. "I stood on the dance floor and watched the couples dance. And then I saw them. Our eyes met, and I felt like I was losing my footing. Everything around me was like cotton wool. I had eyes only for her."
Just the thought of this moment gave me goose bumps all over my back.
Stacy was obvious that she did not want to interrupt me because she eagerly hoped for all the details.
"I plucked up all my courage and asked her to dance. It was a wonderful feeling to move to the beat of the music with her. At some point we got away from the party and became very close. Oh, Stacy, I've never experienced anything like it. You know, I was never a child of sadness, but that was usually very superficial."
While I was telling all this, I felt my throat tighten. What was wrong with me? It had only been one night! Well, she was beautiful and somehow she touched me deep inside.
"Emma, I think it's called love at first sight. I've heard about it," Stacy smiled at me cheering up.
"Oh, great. Love at first sight. Now she's on a plane to Germany and I'm hanging out here in New York. Plus I don't even know her full name, let alone have any contact information for her."
"But, Emma, don't you think you can get more information about her from Jane? You said they've been sharing an apartment for the past few weeks. "I guess Stacy was right. But is this what I wanted? What would I get out of it? Me here and her in Germany. These are not the best conditions for a love affair. Besides, a woman like her must have had someone.