by Anna Ruch
"Stacy, please listen to me very carefully. I went on my journey to forget Hannah. She's not free, and I don't want to intrude on her relationship or be second choice for her. So please leave me alone about the wedding. Tell Jane that although I was very excited about the invitation, I won't be attending the wedding because of my trip.
"But..."
"No buts. I don't want to interrupt my trip and I'd appreciate it if you respect that." I consciously chose these words in the hope that Stacy would understand my message. And she did, at least for now. We chatted a little bit more, about my past experiences, and I promised her to contact me from my next station.
HANNAH
"All right, John, I'll see you December 20th. I look forward to seeing you."
Overjoyed, I hung up. The two of them would celebrate Christmas with me and together we would toast to the New Year. It was still a good two weeks until we met again, but I just wanted to make it perfect. After all, they had set the bar very high for hosts in the past.
Together with Marie and Nina I put my apartment in order and got all imaginable delicacies. After only two days, everything shone in a Christmassy glow and the anticipation of meeting them again grew from day to day.
Marie was also very excited, as she had not yet been allowed to meet either of them personally. Until now she only knew them from my stories. Or so I thought. As it turned out at a later date, they had already talked on the phone behind my back. They were planning a reunion between Emma and me at the wedding. But they didn't want to tell me about it beforehand. They wanted to surprise me. It was probably better that I didn't find out this part of the story right away.
"So, now tell me. What couldn't you tell me over the phone?" "We are getting married in the summer. And I want you to be my maid of honor." John was beaming all over his face and even Jeff could not hide his anticipation. "That's great news. I'd be happy to take over." Nacheinander I pressed both of them, and we toasted to this message with mulled wine - in proper style for the season.
The days flew by and I showed them the Rhineland. Since they were used to other sizes, they found everything cute and charming. Even the Frankfurt skyline could not dissuade them from their designation of German architecture. I knew that in relation to New York, everything was very clear and I smiled every time they called out their charming exclamation. Of course they accompanied us on our traditional trip to the sea, and we spent fun and contemplative hours together.
A few days before the turn of the year I went for a walk on the beach with John. In the meantime Jeff and the others took care of our dinner.
"Do you still think about her?" Obwohl I knew immediately when he said I was playing the clueless. "Who are you referring to?" Anscheinend so convincing that after a heavy breathing he replied, "Well, I mean Emma." "Do I still think about her sometimes? No, I do not." Because that would have been a lie. "I don't just think about her sometimes, but all the time. Not a day goes by without a thought of her and not a night without longing for her touch." "Then why don't you take a step towards her?"
"I've tried. But after a phone call last summer, she cut off all contact and never responded to my attempts." "And why do you think that is? Did you have a fight?" "Arguing? No, quite the opposite. We had a magical phone call and arranged for another one the next evening. When she called the next evening, I had another visit from Marie and Nina. Since I wasn't exactly near the phone, I asked her to have someone take the call."
"And then what happened?"
"Nina answered, and when she handed me the phone, the line went dead. And that's the whole story."
Perplexed and desperate, I looked at him. Even today, months later, I still couldn't explain it all to myself.
"Is it possible that Emma thought Nina was your friend?"
It hadn't even occurred to me. Sure, Nina called me sweetie back then and Emma might have taken it the wrong way.
"My God, John, this could really have happened. How awful she must have felt. "That's when she got all her courage together and then some.
No, it couldn't be true. How blind I'd been. If I were in their shoes, I probably would have been scared and retired too.
"What can I do now? She's not at Harvard anymore, she's not in New York. I have no idea where she is or with whom."
Even then I should have noticed the mischievous flash in his eyes. But I was so absorbed in my knowledge that I didn't even notice that we had already arrived back at the others. Marie noticed immediately that something was wrong with me. John, a gentleman, however, intercepted her and gave me the freedom to sort my thoughts.
While I was in my room, they were on the phone with Jane and tried to get Emma's number from her. Now that it was clear to everyone why it had come to such an abrupt end, they wanted to nip Nina's burgeoning guilty conscience in the bud with a reconciliation action between Emma and me. When I rejoined the others an hour later, the mood was relaxed and easygoing, and the subject of Emma was no longer addressed that evening.
EMMA
After my stay on the British Isles I flew on to Southern Europe. In fast forward I travelled Greece and Italy. To outsiders, I looked like a typical American tourist who wanted to see Europe in 21 days. Something drove me to spend the Christmas days in the snowy Alps. After all the cultural history I enjoyed my stay in a Swiss noble hotel with all imaginable amenities. With massages, sauna and various treatments I really enjoyed myself.
Shortly before the turn of the year - on New Year's Eve morning to be precise - there was a knock at my room door. Since I hadn't ordered anything and wasn't expecting anyone, I didn't react directly. But the knocking was repeated and when I opened the door, Stacy was standing in front of me. She smiled at me and I almost fell down in horror. I hadn't expected that.
"What are you doing here," I asked her after I had gathered myself again.
"To surprise you and celebrate the new year with you." Klar, that was the most natural thing in the world.
"You're crazy. You flew 3,000 miles to be with me on New Year's Eve? You're really crazy."
And I liked her so much for that. She was always so crazy. But the madness was to run its course now more than ever.
"Darling, for you I'd fly anywhere. Even to the ends of the earth. But enough chitchat. Get your things together. We're going to the sea." Completely perplexed, I had to sit down first. "What, we're going to the sea? What am I supposed to do there? I find it wonderful here."
"No arguments."
There was a tone in her voice that should have made me wonder. It escaped me, however, and I packed my things. After all, I had told myself at the beginning of my journey that I wanted to let myself drift.
Not quite an hour later we were already sitting in the taxi in the direction of the airport. From there we boarded a plane to Hamburg. When we landed in Hamburg after about 1.5 h flight time, Stacy still didn't want to say which friends we wanted to visit. Slowly but surely I became a bit restless, as blind spontaneity was not one of my favorite pastimes. Everything seemed to be already organized. In front of the airport a shuttle service was waiting for us to take us to their friends.
HANNAH
The old year was to take its last breath in less than six hours, and Marie asked me to take her for a walk. We wrapped ourselves up tight and booted down to the sea. How grateful I was for this friendship. Far too seldom had I shown her how important she was to me and how happy I felt to be able to call her my friend.
In silence we walked for a good two hours through the cold evening air and were already looking forward to the traditional Feuerzangenbowle with our friends. Yes, I was very happy about my friends. In the distance we saw how some families with their children were already firing the first fireworks. As always, we both had to laugh at the thought of our generation's motto "Bread instead of firecrackers", as we imagine throwing a loaf of bread into the air as we do every year. Although we were aware of the absurdity of our idea and the actual meaning of this call, we laughed until tears cam
e.
As soon as we entered the house, I immediately sensed that something was different. Something had changed. From the living room came the familiar sounds of our good-humored friends and the fire tongs punch was already spreading its scent. The fire in the fireplace burned and warmed the whole living room very pleasantly. We joined the others. Only my feeling, a kind of excitement, became stronger and stronger. I could not recognize any change. Everyone was there and the house looked the same.
EMMA
We got to the friend's house and Stacy stormed out of the car. She was greeting a young man who looked vaguely familiar. And when he stood right in front of me, I realized that the young man was John. Hannah's John. Oh, no, she must be around then, I thought, and a slight panic seized me.
I told Stacy to leave Hannah out of this. And now, I was sure that I should meet her. Without letting me get a word in edgewise, John, after a warm welcome, pushed me into the house. There I was shown everything in no time at all, and I was pushed with Stacy into a room on the first floor.
"What's going on here, Stacy?" "Nothing. Except you're about to finally meet Hannah." Wie of course that sounded out of her mouth.
"Stacy, I told you to leave things alone." Meine Outrage was clearly audible to me.
Quietly and calmly she replied, "But there is information that you don't have yet and that makes everything look very different. Da it was again, that mischievous almost diabolical grin. "Hannah doesn't have a girlfriend and hasn't had one since you. The woman you briefly had on the phone was the girlfriend of her best friend Marie."
Could that really be true? Could I have been fooled like that? Oh, no, I had wronged her. How could I ever make it right
"Now, don't be down in the mouth. Hannah doesn't know you're here. She went for a walk with Marie. John and I spoke on the phone last week and decided to finally get you two back together. If only for a few days. What you make of it then is your own business."
"I can't believe you're doing this for me. What did I do to deserve this?"
I pressed her warmly to me and at the same time it went through my mind that I did not want to face Hannah like this. Almost as if she could read my mind, Stacy ordered me to go to the bathroom to get ready. She'd make sure I wouldn't be surprised by Hannah. As if in a trance, I moved into the bathroom and looked at myself in the mirror.
That's what I got for wanting to drift. How do you think she would react? Was she perhaps disappointed or angry because I had reacted so stupidly and naively to this stupid situation? I would finally see her again. A year and a half ago we had met in New York and since then not a day went by without a thought for her.
I became aware of how quickly one tends to speculate and apparent explanations. Instead of clarifying the situation, I had rather gone back to my snail shell. But now her and my friends had taken away my hiding place and I would soon face her. No matter how I turned things around, there was no other way. Of course I was happy and could hardly bear the tension.
With full concentration I freshened up and put on new make-up. I wonder if she would still like me. Did she even remember what I looked like? As far as I could remember, she had no photo of me. Only her memory. It was a little easier since Jane had given me a picture of Hannah.
HANNAH
Suddenly I noticed something different. Everybody had dressed up and only Marie and I looked like we were from an outdoor catalogue. At the moment of realization, I asked the others to apologize, because now I wanted to change too. Marie disappeared with me and we dressed up. When we joined the others a good half hour later, they had already dimmed the lights and opened the bar with wine and martini. There was soft music playing in the background and I enjoyed the view to the full. Outside it began to snow and we cheered ourselves towards the parting year.
Slowly but surely the last minutes of the year began and we danced, laughed and looked forward to the new beginning.
Suddenly the music got a little louder and I recognized the song immediately. "Strangers in the night" - a shiver ran down my spine. I wonder what she was doing. Since then, this song had burned itself deep into me and now, in that split second, it managed to bring me into the feeling and memory of that time.
John noticed my longing and asked me to dance with him. And like then, I felt safe and secure with him. Again I noticed what a good dancer he was. Since all the others were dancing too, I could let myself fall completely into this song.
All of a sudden I felt a tingling in my neck and John nodded in the direction behind me. Without really understanding what was happening, he handed me over to Emma.
Suddenly, out of nowhere, she appeared before me. My knees trembled and tears welled up in my eyes. She too was full of excitement and everything around us seemed to be bathed in a veil. We were so focused on ourselves that we did not notice that the others gradually moved into the next room and left us alone in this special moment.
A thousand ants ran through my body and warmth rose to my face. My ears buzzed and it was hard for me to keep a halfway reasonable expression on my face. Slowly I raised my hand and touched her face. Our faces approached and we kissed each other timidly. Like then, this kiss catapulted me into another dimension. I could tell from her breathing that she was like me.
"Is it really you?" Reluctantly I released myself for a small moment from her embrace and looked at her. How good she looked. Although I had only one memory, I had carried her inside me the whole time. She was so beautiful and her eyes made me dive into a sea of dreams.
"It's me," she whispered.
EMMA
When Stacy shot into the bathroom, it scared me half to death. She got excited and told me Hannah was back. She told me to hurry so we could finally meet again at midnight. As best I could, I came to the end and got a benevolent look from Stacy. Okay, I guess there was no turning back now.
Slowly we went down the stairs and I heard that everyone was in a very exuberant mood. As arranged, Frankie Boy sang about the strangers in the night, and I stood right behind her while she and John moved to the beat of the music. As he guided her and made sure she didn't notice me as soon as she entered the room, I was able to enjoy this moment of seeing her again in a very intimate way.
She surrounded an incredible aura. Her body seemed to fall completely into this song. Only vaguely I could see that her friends including Stacy withdrew inconspicuously into another room. As I passed by, Stacy whispered in my ear for a moment.
"Enjoy it. You've earned it. And I have to say I understand."
Yeah, I could understand that. At least as far as the fascination she held for me. But not my childish behaviour over the last few months. But that was history now.
John and I nodded at each other, then he slowly turned her in my direction. Fireworks exploded inside me. The moment was even more beautiful than I had imagined in my wildest dreams.
Finally, she stood before me. I could see in her eyes that she had neither suspected nor expected anything. So deep, so pure was her look. She struggled with her composure. My pulse quickened and my hands became very cold. Everything around me no longer existed, only she and I. Slowly we came closer and she stroked my face with her hand. Just do not stop, I thought. Her touch, for which I had longed for so long, made up for all the moments of loneliness. Finally, we found ourselves in a kiss, and in me the longing for more grew.
HANNAH
"How can it be? Why are you here?"
Actually, their answers were not really relevant at that moment. All that mattered was that she was finally with me.
"I'll explain everything later." With a meaningful smile she stood before me. Only by the applause of my friends we were brought back to reality for a moment. Everyone wanted to toast with us and finally meet Emma. As difficult as it was for us, we complied with this wish without leaving the side of the others.
"Marie, it's incredible. How did you do it?" Stormy I fell around her neck and could hardly believe my luck.
"Hannah, you, or rather
you deserve this. And since you couldn't do it alone, John and I helped out a little."
"You're the best friends anyone could ever have. Thanks."
Now John had pushed himself to my side again and his look seemed to say, I always said everything will be alright.
The hours passed and we were passed from one to the other until we finally managed to steal into my room.
Alone at last. I just wanted to touch her and let myself fall all over her. My whole body was burning and wanted nothing more than to feel her and be caressed by her.
"Where have you been? I have longed so for you."
"In my heart I was always with you. I didn't know if you felt the same way about me.
"How could you doubt it?" I kissed her and was enchanted.
"Our meeting that night took me to another world. Never before have I felt this way, and never before has anyone moved me like this."
At my words she snuggled up to me and made me understand that she did not want to talk right now.
Gently she pushed me onto the bed and stood in front of me. We kissed, and she opened my blouse. Her hands moved over my upper body and a shiver ran down my back. Her touch felt like silk on my skin and my heart began to beat ever more wildly. I couldn't help it and freed her from her top as well. Her body was - like then - very well formed and she smelled incredibly well. My hands wandered over her belly and my lips searched the way to her neck. Goose bumps covered her body too and I asked her whisperingly if she was cold.