by B. K. Leigh
I come out carrying a huge case of beans and set them on the counter before me. Brewing coffee has gotten easier. As the days pass I don’t have to constantly worry about burning every pot I try to make. The customers have gotten easier to handle. Working in customer service was like a rude awakening. You’re constantly being picked at, and criticized for every mistake made. Dealing with my mother and Kurt for the better half of all my life actually prepared me for this in some weird way. But the best part of this job so far besides the free time is the new found friendship I’ve formed with Alice. Besides her being almost eight years older than me we tend to have a lot in common.
“Oh thank god!” Alice sighs and wipes a dramatic hand across her brow. The Saturday lunch rush has finally calmed down, side from a few regular customers taking up booths and chairs in random spots around the room.
“That was crazy. It’s been the busiest day I’ve worked so far.” I wipe a stray curl off of my face.
“If you think this was bad, wait until you work other holidays, like Mother’s day or Easter. Those ones are awful!” I’ve never been a person all about holidays and birthdays. All things normal people seemed to celebrate have always gone off my radar. So when a day like today comes up, which just so happens to be Valentine ’s Day, I happen to forget it even exists. It seems odd with the crazy amount of red and pink decorations coating the walls from floor to ceiling.
“Are you doing anything with Tristen tonight?” I ask, because it’s the normal thing to do. When two girls get together this is what they talk about right, guys and stuff? I’m trying to be normal, and I’m trying to be her friend. Besides Knox I’ve never had another friend ever. Up until now I wasn’t sure I needed one. He gave me everything I ever needed. Love and companionship came freely and I never even strayed to find it elsewhere. Maybe having a girlfriend to talk to will be like finding a missing puzzle piece I never knew was needed.
“Oh yeah girl! He’s taking me out to that new steak house in town and then after I have a surprise for him when we get back home.” she sends me a giddy wink. She and her boyfriend have been together for years. They live together and have built their lives to fit one another’s. They live simply, and are very much in love from what Alice tells me. I envy it. I want it to always be that way with Knox. Deep down in my heart I know it will be. We went years without a word and then went right back to where we left off as soon as he returned. Our love trumped my anger for the better and I’ll never regret my decision to let Knox back into my life.
“OOO la la, that sounds like it’s going to be a lot of fun.” I wiggle my eye brows and she lets out a girly giggle.
“Speaking of a lot of fun, look what the cat dragged in.” two large hands wrap around my eyes from across the counter I was leaning against and for a minute I panic, until I hear his soft raspy voice whisper against my ear.
“Happy Valentine’s day pretty girl.” My cheeks heat up as his breath brushes against my skin.
“I’ll leave you two alone.” Alice makes her way into the back office and leaves me alone with Knox at the front counter. I turn around so we’re face to face and he plants a soft kiss across my lips, leaving me wanting more and blushing at the same time.
“What are you doing here?” I ask, taking in his large beautiful body. From his head to his toes this boy was built like a Greek god. He’s dressed differently today, more formal and classy compared to his usual rugged biker slash mountain man look. To be honest though I like him best naked.
“I came to pick up my beautiful girlfriend.” His eyes roam up and down my body and heat up along the way.
“You don’t mean that, look at what I’m wearing!” I gesture to the work outfit I have on and Knox shakes his head. The black fitted T-Shirt with Barney’s Beans logo in bright yellow written across the breast area, paired with black slacks has me feeling less then inferior.
“Raegan, you could be wearing a fucking sack for all I care and you’d still be the most beautiful girl in the world.” My cheeks light up like fire as his words creep across my skin. I know he means every single one.
“I still have a couple hours left Knox. It’s been super busy I can’t leave yet.” I watch a smirk cross his lips as disappointment floods my heart. I’d love nothing more than to leave with my boy, but I’m not just going to leave Alice with no notice or any coverage.
“I already asked Alice if I could pick you up early and she said yes.” Before I could protest Alice pops back from the office and chimes in.
“And don’t say no Raegan, I have everything covered David is coming in to cover the rest of your shift, so your good to go.” Her smile is contagious and looking between the two of them has me smiling from ear to ear.
“You knew about this?” I ask Alice and a coy smile spreads across her lips.
“Maaaaybe.” She draws out the word and starts pushing me out from behind the counter. “Now go you two love birds, enjoy you’re night.” She flashes me a wink and I shake my head laughing.
“You too, have fun with Tristen!” I tell her waggling my eyebrows.” That’s the last I can get in until I’m dragged out the door by an eager Knox.
“Where are we going?” I ask, climbing into the passenger side of Betty. Knox has been spending extra hours at the shop fixing her up, restoring her to her glory days and the difference is amazing. For one the heating system actually seems to be working.
“It’s a surprise Rae.” Knox keeps his eyes on the road the whole way there. He has one hand on the metal steering wheel and the other placed on my thigh. The heat from his palm is traveling all throughout my entire body. I don’t even care if we do anything but just drive back to his house and hung out. As long as I’m with him I’m perfectly content.
“Are we almost there?” I ask. We have to have been driving for almost forty five minutes. My butts half asleep and my eye lids are starting to close. It’s been a long day. Waking up and going to work for six in the morning has been straining, but I guess that’s just a part of life.
“Almost baby.” his hand squeezes my thigh in a reassuring gesture. I rest my head against his shoulder and let the lull of Betty’s engine rock me to sleep.
I wake up with a start. I feel Betty come to a sudden halt and my body snaps out of sleep and onto red alert. Years of being woken up by sudden pounding on my bedroom door has left my semi-conscious mind twisted up.
“What the-“ I barely get the sleep filled words out when Knox speaks up and calms my raging heart.
“Shh calm down Raegan, We’re here.” He pulls me into him and kisses my temple. When I finally look around us the view takes my breath away. We’re on what looks to be the tip top of a mountain. White peaks and hills surround us completely. Knox shuts the engine off and a slow chill begins to creep down my neck. The air is much colder up here. Fog and mist float thick in the air making it impossible to see more than ten miles out.
“What is this place?” I ask. I open the door, unprepared for how bone chilling it really is and step out into the scene before me. We’re parked in what seems to be a small dirt spot just big enough for Betty. A small dirt road winds and turns all the way up right to where the truck is parked.
“My own slice of heaven.” I didn’t even notice Knox get out of the truck, only feel when his strong arms wrap around me from behind. Even through the layers of jackets and clothing his warmth envelopes me. It keeps me warm in the coldest of times.
“This place is amazing.” When we were kids I used to be impressed with all the cool places he would bring me. From swimming holes, to parks and haunted cemetery’s everything was always a grand adventure with him. But this place seems to trump it all. We stand wrapped up together just taking in the beauty of it all.
“Thank you for taking me here.” I turn to face him, and bring my lips to his. His tongue swipes across my lips in no time and I instantly open for him. His breath is hot mixing with my own and our hands become needy, exploring and rubbing up and down our torsos.
“I have something for you.” He says as he pulls away, taking my last bit of breath with him. My head is still swimming to process what he said so when I finally realize he ran back to the truck to grab said thing he’s already standing in front of me again.
“Raegan Allen Taylor, I have loved you since I was eleven. Always have, always will. I know what I want out of this life, I’ve known since the moment I found you hidden on the other side of that shitty little fence.” He chuckles at his last comment and a smile crosses my lips. “I know were still young so this isn’t any sort of proposal, although that will come eventually. But I do want you to know just how important you are to me.” he hands me a long velvet box and I take it into my hands with shaky fingers. “Open it Rae.” He nudges towards the box and I take a deep breath and open it. I’ve never been given a gift before. It seems foreign and completely unexpected. Wrapping my small fingers around the velvet box I peel it open and my heart almost drops.
“I have one too, but mine has an R on it.” A silver chain lies perfectly still against a white back drop of silk material. In the middle of the chain is the letter K littered with small crystal stones. It’s the most amazing gift I’ve ever received, even if it’s the only one. I wrap my fingers around it and lift the necklace out of its casing and hold it up before my eyes, maybe this way it will become more real to me.
“Knox…” his name is a whisper across my lips. I feel the tears well up in my eyes and my vision gets blurry.
“Don’t cry babe.” His thumb comes up and wipes away a tray tear.
“I’m not crying.” I deny. “It’s just, this is just too much, first the cellphone, now this? I don’t deserve any of this.” I’m in shock. I didn’t expect anything like this from Knox, especially anything this beautiful.
“You deserve the fucking world Raegan. I’m going to spend the rest of my life showing you that. I know it’s just a necklace, but I swear one day I’m going to replace it with a ring on your finger.” His words are full of conviction and pierce me straight down to my aching heart.
“Can you put it on me?” I ask in a shy voice as I hand it over to him. He turns me around and swipes my long locks of hair across my shoulders and out of the way. His arms snake around my front and clasp behind my neck. This cool metal dips low into my cleavage, the weight of the heavy pendent lays full against my heart.
“There you go, my beautiful girl.” When I turn around I watch in weighted breaths as his finger traces the outline of the necklace all the way down into my cleavage. Everything seems picture perfect. In this moment all I can think about is Knox. My savior, my lover, my protector…my best friend.
“Where’s yours?” I ask. My voice cracks on the last word and I try to hide from the embarrassment of being so emotional. I watch as his large hand reaches into his shirt collar and reveals a matching silver chain just like mine.
“I’m yours Raegan, I always will be. I want everyone to know it, wearing this will only solidify it further.” His hands come up and cup my cheeks. Staring into his emerald pools of eyes I’m lost to them completely. I see my future and my whole world. Some people will never get the opportunity to find their soulmate, always choosing the wrong person over and over again. I was lucky that day back when I first met Knox. I found my soulmate when I was just ten years old. I knew it then like I know it now. The heart wants what it wants. Mine will always belong to Knox Caedance Blackburn.
“I’m yours Knox, always and forever.” We seal it with a kiss. When we were kids we shook hands and made a pact, now eight years later our words were another form of that same pact sealed forever with a delicate kiss. I know every word from Knox’s mouth rings true. I know I can count on him to always be here. The feeling of dread whenever I thought about him leaving me again has been slowly replaced with his words of love and happiness.
“Happy Valentines day Raegan.” When he leans into kiss my I need no further convincing I belong to him completely.
Chapter 13
Knox
Since I’ve been back I’ve watched Raegan flourish. She was timid at times and a complete fireball at others, but this girl she is now is like a butterfly that’s finally spread her wings. She’s free when she’s with me. The weight of her home life lifts off of her shoulders just long enough for her to relax and breathe. Her step daddy got a new job working some twelve hours a day, leaving little to know room to fuck with what’s mine. Her skin is beautiful when untouched and unbruised, but I can honestly say I love her in any way shape or form.
The days are flying by, only a few more weeks until my girl turns eighteen and finally gets to leave that hell hole. I’ve been talking with Mr. Dugal about possibly renovating the space above the garage and turning it into a small apartment. So far he’s been really nice about it. I didn’t have to explain much once he found out Raegan’s stepdaddy was the town drunk and hot head. There’s been more than a few rumors circling around about what goes on in that house for years.
“You going to get that or what kid?” Mr. Dugal’s loud voice cracks through the silent air as he walks into the garage bay. I must have been so lost in my head I didn’t even notice the phone ringing. I watch as a red faced Mr. Dugal picks it up and carries on an angry conversation. It’s as if he has two personas. He’s fatherly and overly nice to me at times and then at others he’s a bitter old man. I’ve watched him interact with Alice and Raegan and am astounded on how he can go from one extreme to the other.
“You got a six o’clock coming in later.” He says hanging up the phone.
“I have to pick up Raegan from Barney’s at six.” My shoulders slump as I try to protest but I know it’s no use.
“I’ll ask Alice to give her a ride.” He suggests.
“No it’s alright. I’ll just send her a quick text.”
“Have you thought of anything else for upstairs?” he asks changing the subject.
“No? You haven’t given me an answer yet so I just assumed it was off the table.” I put my phone away after sending Rae a text letting her know I won’t be able to pick her up after work.
“Yeah, well I think I damn well lost my goddamn mind. You can do whatever you want up there.” he takes a dirty old baseball cap off of his bald head and rubs it all around in frustration. “But you bet your ass I’m going to be docking your pay for a while.” I’m so shocked I don’t even know how to respond. Did he really just give me the go ahead?
“Can I get that in writing?” I ask, a drop of sarcasm coating my words.
“No, and stop badgering me before I take it back.” He starts to walk away. Leaving me standing there with my jaw hung open staring after him.
“Hey Mr. Dugal?” when I call after him he stops midstride. “Thank you, for everything.” He nods his head in agreement and disappears for the rest of the day, only stopping in to let me know when my next appointment is. Mr. Dugal has been more of a dad to me than my own father. Once my mother sent me away I grew up resenting both of my parents. I never wanted to be close to someone I held so much anger towards. I’ve been working on my relationship with my mother per Raegan’s advice and things have become less forced. It’s getting easier to tolerate her presence and our conversations have reached beyond the usual what’s for dinner topic. It’s actually nice having a parent to talk to. Who knew I’d come to maybe even enjoy my mother’s presence?
Working at the shop has kind of mended that part of me. I confide in Mr. Dugal when he’s in his good moods and even when he’s angry I still look up to him. He lost his wife Amy a few years ago to breast cancer. Alice was already grown and out of the house, leaving him completely all alone. If anything ever happened to Raegan I’d be the same way. I’d be angry and bitter if the love of my life was ripped away from me too.
Sometimes he’ll indulge me with stories of his late wife. The happy memories seem to bring out the best in him. There love story is one I envy. High school sweethearts from age sixteen all the way until death ripped them apart. It’s reassuring in an
odd way that young love can last forever as long as it’s real. I want that with Raegan more than anything, and I know within my heart that’s how it’ll be.
I try to focus on the small car in front of me but it’s no use. My mind is completely on Raegan and all of the possibilities we have a head of us. Setting the wrench down on the work bench I head out of the garage bay and around to the back of the building. The rotten wooden steps leading up to the space above the garage creek and protest with every single step I take. Even the door handle looks to be on its last leg. I’m not surprised when I turn the metal handle and fine it unlocked. I am surprised though at how big it actually is when finally push the door open.
When Mr. Dugal told me about this space, I pictured a dirty old attic. What I didn’t expect was this to already be an apartment. To my left is a small kitchen. White dusty cabinets line the two walls and a small refrigerator sits deep in the corner. It’s decently big, big enough to even house a small table and chairs. As I continue through the space I notice some walls have cardboard boxes stacked in ceiling high piles covered in layers of dust. This place definitely needs a good thorough cleaning.
A small living room takes up most of the rest of the space, with a door leading to a bathroom to the right of it. The walls look to be painted in a dingy yellow color, and the age old appliances are too. A wooden white door sits next to the bathroom and upon entrance I realize it’s a bedroom. It’s decently sized. Definitely big enough for the two of us. If Reagan even wants me here with her.
A wave of adrenaline rushes through me when I think about having a place of our own. Turning this space into something that is ours is liberating. It’s the only thing seeming to occupy my mind for the rest of the night. In the end I decide to keep this a secret from Rae. Surprising her on her birthday is going to be priceless. I want it to be her choice, to have me live with her. She’s never been given the option to choose before and I hope this time she’ll choose me. She’s expecting to move into my mom’s house with me. We were planning to make work no matter what the circumstances. This just sweetens the deal. Having a private place of her own will good for her, even if she doesn’t want me staying with her.