The Boy Who Has No Hope (Soulless Book 6)

by Victoria Quinn

  “I’ll smudge the ink.” He stared at the blank page for a while, like he was thinking of what to say.

  I went quiet so he could focus.

  His pen didn’t hit the paper.

  I looked at my phone so he wouldn’t feel on display.

  Then he capped the pen and closed the book, even though he hadn’t written anything. “I just need some time.”

  I turned back to him and watched him stack the books before sliding them to the side.

  “I know you don’t sign books often…if ever. If you don’t feel comfortable, you aren’t obligated—”

  “That’s not why. I just…want to take some time to make sure it’s right.” He stared at the books, his chin slightly down.

  I stared at his handsome face for a while, seeing the emotion in his eyes, the way the gesture touched him. As time went on, he became more vulnerable with me, showing me a spectrum of different colors that started to shine through brighter. There was more to him than his dark exterior, like his soul was a diamond…and a prism of color.

  He cleared his throat before he turned back to me, like the moment had dissipated.

  “There’s another reason why I’m here.”

  His eyes narrowed slightly on my face, becoming intense all over again.

  “So, I talked to Mark…”

  His face immediately slackened into disappointment, as if he’d been hoping I’d say something else.

  “They want you to do some press for this book. You know, book signings, interviews…stuff like that.”

  He slowly turned hostile, just as I expected. “I don’t do that.”

  “I know…but they say since you took so long with the manuscript, they’ve lost traction on sales and there were a lot of complaints from readers and retailers. They need to do some damage control, get people interested in this story again. Since I’ve already edited the story, I know they’re going to release this much sooner than normal. Having you do these things will make people forget how long they had to wait and focus their energy by getting them excited for the next installment.”

  His eyes shifted away. “No.”

  “Derek—”

  “I told them I don’t do this. I’m sorry the book was late, that was my fault, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to do this in atonement. It’ll be obvious I don’t want to be there, and instead of getting people excited about it, they’re just going to think I’m an asshole—which is fair, because I am.”

  “You are not an asshole, Derek.”

  “I disagree.”

  “It won’t be as bad as you think it will be.”

  He looked away.

  “I will be with you the entire time.”

  “But I’ll be the one who has to sign the books. I’ll be the one who has to answer the questions.”

  “I’ll prep you for it.”

  He sighed loudly.

  “I know, without a doubt, that you can do this. It won’t be as bad as you think it will be. You’re uncomfortable because it’s a situation you can’t control and that makes you uneasy, but the room will be filled with energy and excitement. It’ll be fun.”

  He still wouldn’t look at me.

  “Derek—”

  “I’m a writer. I finished the book. My job is done. That’s why I have a publisher, because it’s their job to market this thing—not mine.”

  “But just remember that your fans adore you, and it would mean the world to them if they could have their books signed. How about we commit to just one book signing, and we’ll see how you feel about it before scheduling anything else?”

  “At the end of the day, they can’t force me to do anything.”

  “No…they can’t.”

  He crossed his arms over his chest.

  “But think about what it would mean to your fans, Derek.”

  “You met me and realized I was this huge asshole. I’m sure that ruined it for you.”

  “You are not an asshole. Stop calling yourself that because it’s untrue. You’re the most inspirational person I’ve ever met. Yes, you didn’t make a good first impression, but you just…were in a dark place at the time.”

  He turned his head slightly back to me, his temper subdued.

  “You’re not in that place anymore.” I didn’t know all the reasons he’d become this broken, haunted man, but I knew he was slowly moving away from his past and coming into the light again. There was far more good than bad. “You’re slowly showing more of yourself, dropping your guard, releasing your paranoia, and the man underneath that…is remarkable. Let them see that. Let everyone see that.”

  He stared…for a long time. “You’re the only person who’s seen me. You’re the only person I’ve allowed to see me. Because you’re the only person who’s earned it.”

  Now all I could do was stare because it was the most profound thing he’d ever said to me. I was left speechless because it was the most profound thing I’d ever heard anyone say.

  He seemed to know how it affected me because he shifted his gaze away. “I’ll do it…because you want me to.”

  Lizzie was at school, so Mom and I took Dad to the hospital and sat in the waiting room. The surgery was simple, would only take an hour, and the risk of something bad happening was minimal despite his age.

  Mom sat beside me, sipping her coffee. “I wonder if they’re almost done.”

  “It’ll be over soon, Mom.” I had my arm around her over the back of the chair, rubbing my palm across her skin.

  “You think he’ll be okay?” she asked, hesitation in her voice.

  “I know he will.”

  She nodded, absorbing my positivity. “You’re right. Because he knows I’ll kill him if he dies.”

  I chuckled. “He’s not going to die.”

  “We’ve been together so long, since we were seventeen. And we’ve got so much more life to live.”

  “And imagine how much more life you’ll be able to live when he’s running around again.”

  “Very true, honey.”

  “It’ll be alright, Mom.”

  She nodded then drank her coffee.

  My phone vibrated in my pocket, so I pulled it out. Derek’s message was on the screen. How is he?

  Still in surgery.

  Alright.

  Mom must have seen what he wrote because she said, “That’s nice of him to check in on you…and give you the day off.”

  “Yeah, he’s a good guy.”

  “Maybe. But I think he might be more than a good guy.”

  “Mom.” I rolled my eyes and put my phone away.

  “Lizzie showed me a picture of him.” She whistled quietly. “That is one gorgeous man.”

  “I’ll tell Dad you said that.”

  “Psh. I showed him the picture, and he said the same thing.”

  I laughed because it did sound like something Dad would say.

  “Maybe he’s more than a boss to you…”

  “I’m not sleeping with him.”

  “I know…but maybe he wants to sleep with you.”

  “Mom.”

  “What? You’re so smart and gorgeous, Emmy. There’s no way in hell he doesn’t notice.”

  I rolled my eyes. “Not everyone thinks I’m perfect like you do. You’re my mom, of course you think that.”

  “That’s not why I think it at all.”

  “Even so, our relationship is professional.” I would never tell anyone about the erotic stories he’d written about me, and as far as I could tell, he’d stopped writing them. Even though I thought he was the most desirable man on the planet, I turned off all those feelings and kept my eyes on the road. He was my boss—end of story.

  “Would it be the end of the world if it stopped being—”

  “The doctor is coming.” I was anxious to end this conversation and find out what happened to my father—two birds with one stone.

  We rose to our feet and watched him approach.

  “How is he?” Mom blurted.

 
“Very well,” the doctor said. “He did great, and he’ll be ready to leave in twenty minutes. The procedure was clean and simple. No complications. I think he’s going to have dramatic improvements in the next few months.”

  “Oh, that’s so great.” Mom clutched her chest, relieved by the news.

  “Thank you,” I said to excuse the doctor.

  “Well, that’s a relief,” Mom said. “I can’t wait to get him home.”

  “Me neither.”

  We visited with my dad for a while, had dinner like usual, and then he went to bed early after the long day.

  I went back to the apartment with Lizzie, and after she brushed her teeth, she went to bed.

  I stayed in the living room to watch TV and enjoy a glass of wine. Since I’d taken the entire day off and Derek’s book was finished, I didn’t have any pressing matters requiring my attention, so I chose to wind down for the evening.

  My phone lit up with a message from Derek. How’s your father?

  I was surprised he’d texted me again when he’d already checked in with me earlier. The question was sweet because it was genuine. He’d been thinking about it all day, waiting for me to give him an update, and when he couldn’t wait any longer, he reached out to me again. Good. The procedure went well. We got him home, had some dinner, and put him to bed. He’s not in much pain, which is great.

  I’m happy to hear that. And you?

  I know this is going to change his life for the better, so I’m glad it’s done. Just have to get him into physical therapy and start that process…but in time, he’ll be good as new.

  I’m sure he will.

  I thought the conversation was over, so I set my phone to the side.

  He texted me again. Is there anything I can do for you? Bring you something to eat?

  It was such a thoughtful gesture…and so unexpected. I’m okay, but thank you.

  Because I can get a burger over to you in no time.

  I chuckled because I knew it was a joke, even in the context of a text. LOL. Now I’m going to want one for lunch tomorrow.

  Then we’ll get them.

  Were you lost without me today? I sent a smiley face, so he knew I was teasing.

  He didn’t respond right away, and the dots didn’t light up. But then they appeared, his message popping up instantly afterward. Actually, I was…

  Eight

  Derek

  Emerson brought lunch and set it on the table before she returned to my office so she could eat alone and work on whatever needed her attention. She never joined us, and I wasn’t sure if it was because she was uncomfortable around the guys or she just wanted there to be some distance.

  I took my food into the office and sat on the couch across from her.

  She looked up from her salad, surprised I was there. “It’s not a burger, but I can’t eat too many of those…” She smiled then pushed around the contents of her salad, mixing it with the dressing.

  “Next time.” I didn’t get one either. Otherwise, I’d have to hit the weights harder every morning, and I already pushed myself to the limit as it was. I couldn’t outrun my fork. It was no surprise that my dad was still in great shape because he didn’t have to work out as hard to keep his physique since he chose to uphold a strict diet.

  “How was your day yesterday?” We’d talked for a bit on the drive to the office, but we’d spent most of that time talking about her father. “You didn’t starve, right?”

  I chuckled. “We skipped lunch, actually.”

  “Really?” she asked in surprise. “So, when I’m not here, you’ll literally go hungry?”

  “Yes. So, we need to rethink that vacation time off I offered.”

  She chuckled. “If I left for a week, I’d come back to three corpses in the lab…”

  “Two. I’d eat them.”

  She chuckled again, the color moving into her cheeks.

  I wasn’t a funny guy, so I always felt a sense of accomplishment when I made her laugh. The last few times we interacted, it’d been a little awkward since she’d asked me to sign those books and I’d basically told her she was the only person who knew me. I’d been saying a lot of stupid shit lately—and I needed to stop.

  It was fucking impossible.

  I used to be a man of few words, but now I couldn’t shut up.

  She took a few bites of her salad. “Going to keep your appointment with Dr. Collins tomorrow?”

  I was doing a lot of things for her that I normally wouldn’t do, like seeing a therapist and agreeing to a book tour. She wasn’t changing me. I chose to change for her. And since the changes made me feel better instead of worse, I continued to do it. “Yes.”

  “I’m glad to hear that.”

  “But I think I should see him alone.”

  She stilled at the statement, raising her head to regard me.

  “It’s not you. I just…think it should be only us from now on.” I knew he would ask me about other aspects of my life, and since he’d grilled me about my relationship with Emerson before, I was afraid of what he would get out of me this time.

  “That’s great,” she said. “I’m glad you feel comfortable. All I needed was to give you a nudge.”

  I nodded and took another bite of my food.

  My phone started to vibrate. so I pulled it out of my pocket with the intention of silencing it. But since it said Dad on the screen, I answered right away. I put the phone to my ear and left my lunch on my lap. “Hey, Dad.”

  “Hey, little man.” We hadn’t spoken much since that tense conversation at the cabin, and it was still a little awkward. “You got a minute?”

  “Yes. What do you need?” My dad had never been too busy for me at any point in my life, so I would never be too busy for him. He was the one who would take time out of his busy schedule to take me to the batting cages or the museum, when Valerie didn’t work at all and could barely spare a few seconds.

  “I’m in the lab right now, and one of my machines broke down. I called the manufacturer, and they can’t get someone out here for two weeks…even though Mom pulled all the strings she could. Any chance you could come down and give it a try? If you’re busy, don’t worry about it—”

  “I’ll be there in thirty minutes.”

  “Thanks. See you soon.”

  I hung up.

  “Where are we going?” She closed her salad container.

  “A piece of my dad’s equipment is busted, and he needs me to fix it.”

  “Can you do that?” She raised both eyebrows.

  “Yeah, I can fix pretty much anything.”

  “You want me to stay here, then?”

  “No.” I left my sandwich behind and went into the closet to pull out my generic tools. “I’ll need you to read stuff to me while I’m working with my hands.”

  “Alright.” She got to her feet and grabbed her purse. She picked up my lunch too, probably so I could eat on the drive. “Do you know the name of the machine? I can start looking up stuff in the car.”

  I got my things together and headed for the door. “I’ll text him on the way.”

  The drive to his building didn’t take long since it was outside the city and so was mine. Ronnie dropped us off at the front, and we headed to the double doors.

  Emerson read the company name on the door. “Hamilton Pharmaceuticals… Does your dad own this company?”

  “Yes.”

  “I guess science and business both run in the family.”

  “No. We’re forced to handle the business side of things in order to pursue science correctly. Only way to get past all the bureaucratic nonsense.” We entered the lobby, and the assistants at the front recognized me and greeted me.

  We got into the elevator and took it to the top floor, where my father’s office was.

  I continued to carry the bag of tools, all the supplies I might need to fix this.

  “It’s nice of you to help him like this.” Emerson stood with her bag over her shoulder, facing me during the r
ide, her brown hair pulled back and out of her face. She was in a skirt and blouse, wearing high heels that gave her enough height to be eye level with me. “You hate being interrupted…”

  I shrugged and forced my gaze to shift to the metal doors, so I wouldn’t stare at her so intently. “If it’s for my parents, I don’t mind. My dad made the same sacrifices when I was growing up, so…”

  She smiled. “That’s sweet. Not very many people understand all the sacrifices parents have to make.”

  We reached the top floor, and the doors opened. After I checked in with his assistant, I let myself into his office, opening the door so Emerson could go first.

  She hesitated for a moment because I usually went first, but then she walked inside.

  I followed behind her and saw my father sitting behind his desk, wearing jeans and a t-shirt because he was supposed to be in the lab instead of in his office. His head was tilted down as he scribbled something, and he finished his thought before he rose to his feet and lifted his chin to regard me, his eyes already filled with affection before he even saw me. “You got here quick.” He came around the desk, not noticing Emerson because his entire focus was on me. It was the same way my mom looked at me…like I was the most important thing in the world, regardless of my age.

  “When you need me, I’m here.”

  He smiled then placed his hand on the back of my head, cupping me affectionately. “Means a lot.” He moved his hand to my back and patted me before he looked at Emerson, whom he didn’t seem to notice until now. He had a slightly quizzical look before he figured out who she was. “You must be Emerson.” He extended his hand then gave her the same smile he’d just showed me. “It’s great to meet you. I’m Deacon.”

  “You too.” Emerson shook his hand. “Derek speaks so highly of you that it’s an honor to meet you.”

  Dad looked a little embarrassed as he pulled his hand away. “I guess that’s better than horror stories.”

  “I’ve told her a few of those, actually,” I said. “Like that you think a salmon burger is a real burger…”

  He chuckled as he looked at me. “If that’s the worst thing you’ve got, I’ll take it.” He looked at the bag of tools over my shoulder before he turned to the desk and grabbed the manual for the machine. “I’m sure you’ve already got it downloaded, but here’s a copy if that’s easier. I tried to figure it out myself, but…I’m no engineer.”