The Boy Who Has No Hope (Soulless Book 6)

by Victoria Quinn

  I took it from his hands and glanced at it before I handed it to Emerson. “We’ll figure it out.”

  “We?” he asked, leaning against the desk and crossing his arms over his chest.

  “Emerson and I are a team.” She helped me with everything else, so I wouldn’t be surprised if she helped with this.

  A soft smile moved onto his lips. “It’s on the second floor, the synthetic protein lab. You can’t miss it.”

  “Got it.” I turned away with Emerson, and we walked out, returning to the elevator and heading down to the second floor. We made it to the lab, which was empty, and found the machine right away because it had a big sticker on it that said Out of Order.

  “I appreciate your confidence in me, but I’m not going to be much help with this.” Emerson pulled up a chair and sat down with her laptop and the pamphlet Dad had given us. She started to flip through it.

  “You will.” I set down my tools and then removed the side panel so I could get a better look at the guts of the machine. There were lots of wires and components, so it would take me some time to figure this out. “Flip to the troubleshooting page, and let’s start there.” I pulled my conductors so I could identify where the current ran and where it stopped.

  “Alright.” She flipped to the page and started to read.

  I used her as a guide to do a trial and error process, to diagnose the problem before we started to cut into wires and dismantle components. Even though she didn’t understand anything she was reading, it was helpful because I could keep my eyes on my work without having to turn away. She was smart enough to figure out where we needed to look next, to intuitively follow my thoughts.

  Three hours later, we got the machine up and running.

  “Oh my god, we actually did it?” Emerson stood up and looked at the side panel.

  “Why are you so surprised?” I teased. “If I can build a rocket, I can do this.”

  “I’m just surprised I actually helped instead of drove you crazy.”

  “You never drive me crazy.” I put the panel back on and started to screw it into place.

  The door opened, and my dad walked in. “Any luck?”

  “We got it working,” Emerson said excitedly. “I had no idea what I was reading, but I guess it was right.”

  Dad smiled as he came to my side, watching me screw the panel back into place. “You guys were in here a long time. I hope I didn’t mess up your day.”

  “Dad, don’t worry about it.” I handed the screwdriver to Emerson, and she placed it in my bag.

  But then she paled when she realized how unorganized it was. “Wow…we need to clean this up later.”

  Dad kept his eyes on me. “Sounds like your mother.”

  I chuckled because it was dead-on.

  He patted me on the back. “Thanks, little man. We couldn’t wait two weeks because we can’t freeze the patient samples, and when we tried to order another, it was going to take even longer to get here.”

  “I really don’t mind, Dad. It’s no problem.”

  He squeezed the back of my neck before he released me. “I appreciate it anyway.”

  I turned on the machine, and the lights came on. “Does it look right?”

  Dad did a couple things to test it out. “Yep. It’s like she’s brand-new.”

  “Great,” I said. “Are you going to stay late to use it?”

  “Yes,” he answered. “But Mom is working late tonight anyway, so it’s fine.”

  I grabbed Emerson’s purse and handed it to her. “I guess our work here is done.”

  “Are we going to head back to the lab?” she asked.

  “I am, but I’ll drop you off on the way,” I said. “There’s no reason for you to stay late.”

  “Are you sure?” she asked. “Because I don’t mind.”

  “No. You should go home to your father.”

  She smiled. “Great. That sounds nice.”

  I turned back to my dad. “We’re going to take off. Call me if it acts up again.”

  “I will.” He slid his hands into his front pockets as he regarded me. “Can we get a beer together or something on Friday after work? I miss you.” He never cared who was around when he spoke to me, didn’t feel self-conscious showing me affection. I knew when Mom or the rest of us weren’t around, he was back to his focused and intense state.

  “Sure. I miss you too.”

  He gave me a one-armed hug before he kissed me on the forehead. “I look forward to it.” Then he turned to Emerson. “Thanks for all your help today. I really appreciate it.”

  “I was happy to,” she said. “That’s the first time I’ve ever fixed anything. Whenever I drop my phone and crack the screen, I always pay someone else to fix it. First time I’ve ever been part of the other side of that.”

  He nodded. “If you continue to work with Derek, I’m sure this will be the first of many.”

  I grabbed my tool bag and started to walk out. “Tell Mom I said hi.”

  “I will.” He turned back to the machine. “Love you.”

  “Love you too, Dad,” I said before the door shut.

  Then Emerson and I walked down the hallway and back to the entrance where Ronnie was waiting.

  “Can I say something?” she asked, walking beside me.

  I turned to her.

  “You guys are sooooo cute.”

  I smiled slightly and faced forward again.

  “You look so much alike. It’s adorable.”

  I kept walking.

  “You’ve got the same hair, the same eyes…”

  And we had the same struggles conforming to societal rules.

  “How old is he?”

  “Just turned fifty-eight.”

  “Wow. Doesn’t look a day older than forty.”

  “It’s all those salmon burgers…”

  “Damn, I guess I’m going to have to lay off the beef too,” she said with a chuckle.

  Dr. Collins stared at me in silence.

  I stared back.

  “Will Emerson be joining us?”

  “I told her we were fine on our own.”

  He nodded. “Should I take that as a compliment? Or is that a by-product of something else?”

  “The fact that I’m here is a compliment. But yes…it’s also a by-product.”

  “To what?” he asked. “If you don’t mind my asking…”

  I shrugged. “Last time we spoke, you asked a lot of questions about her.”

  “Did that make you uncomfortable?”

  “No.” I propped my knuckles against my cheek.

  He stared at me for a long time, as if he were studying my features for secrets. “But the answers did…”

  I didn’t confirm it.

  “When Emerson walked me to the elevator, I asked if the two of you have a romantic relationship. She said no.”

  “Because we don’t.”

  “Do you want that to change?”

  Now I became uncomfortable. “I thought we were supposed to work on absolving my guilt for the Odyssey 3?”

  “That’s going to take time. It’s not like a nail you can strike until it’s embedded in the wood. This is a slow process, and rushing it is only going to make that nail crooked and unstable. Also, that’s not how humans work. Our consciousness is complicated and complex. And the fact that you’re deflecting the question makes me wonder if it’s relevant.”

  “I don’t think a person wanting to keep their personal life private means anything.”

  “But you’ve already confessed there isn’t much of a personal life to keep private. It sounds like the acknowledgment of your feelings for Emerson is what you don’t want to talk about, which is why you won’t answer with a simple no, why you no longer want her present at these meetings. But the real question is why would those feelings be a problem?”

  I stayed quiet.

  “Especially when it’s obvious she feels the same way.”

  After my father and I embraced, we took a seat at
the table. He’d already ordered a beer for me, the same kind he was drinking himself.

  “The machine still working?” I grabbed the bottle and took a drink.

  “No problems.”

  “Good.”

  “I didn’t expect there to be, not when the world’s best engineer already fixed it.”

  I rolled my eyes. “Come on…”

  “You are.” He smiled. “And I’m very proud of that.”

  I looked at my beer because the attention made me self-conscious. My father hated the same kind of attention, so it was ironic that he did it to me. “What’s up with you and Mom?”

  With his elbows on the table, he considered the question. “We’ve both been working a lot lately. Nothing too exciting.”

  “Maybe you guys should go on a vacation.”

  He was about to drink from his beer when he changed his mind and return it to the table. “Vacation?”

  “Yeah. You know, when you take time off work and travel somewhere…”

  “I know what a vacation is. I’m just surprised you suggested it.”

  I shrugged. “Emerson tells me I need to take one.”

  “Your mother and I are both so devoted to our jobs that a vacation is the cabin or the beach house. But when it’s just the two of us at home, it feels like a vacation anyway.” He raised his beer and brought it to his lips for a drink, his wedding ring on his left hand. Whenever the two of us went out, people mistook us for brothers, and I’d seen women buy him a drink a few times. It was weird because he was my dad, but to everyone else, he was more. Whenever it happened, he seemed truly bewildered by the event and didn’t know how to react to it. Most of the time, he ignored the drink and didn’t bother to look at whoever sent it to him. His actions weren’t actually a sign of his commitment to my mother; he was just perplexed by the offer. He was so literal that it was inconceivable to him that someone would make a pass at him while he wore a wedding ring, so he just assumed it was a mistake. “You and Emerson seem to get along well.”

  “We do.” She wouldn’t continue to work for me if I was still unbearable.

  He stared at me, holding the beer in his fingertips.

  I held his gaze, knowing he was trying to solidify his thoughts in order to express them.

  “I haven’t seen you in a good mood like that for a long time.”

  “I wasn’t in a good mood.”

  “Trust me, you were. She seems to bring out the best in you.”

  I took a drink of my beer. “Maybe I was happy to see you, Dad.”

  He gave a slight smile. “Nice try.”

  His observation was correct because I was much happier when I was with her than when we were apart. I spent my free time alone in my penthouse, debating if I should text her or not. When she took that day off from work to help her father, my entire day was upside down. It was ironic because when my mother had forced Emerson on me, I’d just wanted to get rid of her.

  “Have you considered our conversation at the cabin?”

  I’d hoped we’d never revisit that conversation again. My father and I were close, but I never wanted to talk about my personal life with him in such a detailed way. The fact that he knew so much about my sex life made me uncomfortable, and somehow his disappointment was worse. “Dad, come on.”

  “All I asked is if you considered it.” Now that the conversation had turned serious, his lighthearted smile was gone. He looked as uncomfortable by this conversation as I was. “Emerson looks to be close to your age—”

  “Dad, come on. She works for me.”

  “And your mother worked for me.”

  I shifted my gaze away, looking out the window so I wouldn’t have to look at him.

  “I wouldn’t have said anything, but judging by the way the two of you interact… It seemed like there was something there.”

  “She’s just a nice person, Dad.”

  “I have no understanding of her characteristics because I don’t know her well enough. But I did notice your characteristics—because you’re my son.” He stared at my face even though my eyes were still on the window. The heat of his gaze burned into my skin. “It’s the first time I’ve seen you smile, the first time I’ve seen you let down your guard. It was like we were ten years in the past.”

  I should consider myself lucky I had a father who was so concerned about my happiness that he would force a conversation he didn’t want to have, but I was a grown man who didn’t believe my private life should be up for discussion. “Dad, we already talked about this. I heard what you said and took it into consideration. I don’t wanna talk about it further.”

  He was still as he processed my response, eyes identical to mine glued to my face. His fingertips wrapped around the neck of the bottle and squeezed tight, as if that response was a disappointment. He looked down for a moment then gave a slight nod. “My father and I were close. We did everything together. He’s been gone for decades, and I still miss him. But you’re right, he never asked me about my personal life, at least not in the way I’m asking you. If he’d lived longer and I were still unmarried, maybe he would’ve…I really don’t know. But I wouldn’t have appreciated the intrusion. I apologize, Derek. I was so resistant to your mother in the beginning for idiotic and immature reasons, and once I conquered my fears, I had a love that gave me everything I needed. I just want you to have that because it’s the best thing that ever happened to me…besides you.”

  Nine

  Emerson

  I set the plate on the table in front of Lizzie. “Eat.”

  She had her textbooks around her along with her binder, and she finished doing a math problem before she turned to look at the dinner I’d served her. It wasn’t tacos or pizza, her favorites. Her eyes narrowed, and her lips immediately pressed together with a look of disgust. “Mom, what the hell is this?”

  “Lizzie, language.”

  “What? I said hell, not fu—”

  “Lizzie!”

  Lizzie rolled her eyes then pulled the plate closer to her. “Seriously, what is it?”

  I set my food on the dining table and took a seat. “Salmon burgers.”

  Lizzie stared at me like she couldn’t believe what I’d said. She was absolutely still, subtly horrified.

  “Just eat it.”

  “Why can’t we have regular hamburgers? You know, with real meat…not whatever this is.”

  “Because that’s not what I made.” I picked up the burger and took a bite.

  Lizzie watched me, watching my reaction to see if I hated it as much as she did.

  “See? It’s good.”

  Lizzie shook her head slowly. “Whatever, Mom. You totally hate it.”

  “Well, that’s all we have, so eat it or starve.”

  Lizzie stopped being difficult and did what she was told. She took a few bites, giving me spiteful looks, and continued to work on her homework. Now that she had soccer practice after school, she didn’t have much time to sit and eat dinner with me, so she did her coursework at the same time.

  My phone lit up with a text. I looked down at the screen and saw Derek’s message. How’s your dad doing?

  I thought it was sweet that he continued to ask, even after business hours. That meant he was thinking about my family in his free time, which was so thoughtful. In the beginning, he seemed like a selfish jerk, but now it was obvious he had a bigger heart than everyone else. He’s doing really well. He loves going to physical therapy.

  Did he just start?

  Yeah. It’s the most he’s moved in years. He started in the pool, but the physical therapist thinks he can move to land soon.

  That’s great news. Happy to hear it.

  Know what I’m eating for dinner right now?

  Burgers?

  Close. Salmon burgers.

  What would make you do such a horrible thing?

  Your dad’s inexplicable youth.

  Even if it made you live forever, still wouldn’t be worth it.

  LOL. I went
back to eating my burger and watching my daughter work on her math homework.

  A few minutes later, he texted me again. Can you come over?

  I stilled at the question, afraid something was wrong. Everything OK?

  Yes. I just want to talk to you.

  My heart started to race in fear because I didn’t know what the subject of conversation would be. It was an unexpected request, and he didn’t tell me what he wanted, which was unusual.

  He texted again. I can come to you if that’s easier.

  No, I don’t mind at all. I’ll be there in 20 minutes. I set the phone down.

  Lizzie stopped working and turned to me. “What is it?”

  It amazed me how observant she was, just like me. She might not be good at math, but she was extremely intuitive. “I have to do something for work. Not sure how long I’ll be gone.”

  Lizzie had gotten used to my absence, especially when I first started my job. But once I didn’t need to help Derek write his story, I was home in the evenings more often, so she got used to that just as quickly. She never gave me a hard time about it because she knew I had to do whatever was necessary to support our family, but this time, she stuck out her tongue. “Run off to Dr. Gorgeous…”

  “Lizzie, don’t call him that.”

  “What? He is gorgeous.”

  “You’re way too young to find a man that age attractive.”

  “Whatever. You think he’s hot too.”

  “Do not!”

  “Yeah, okay…”

  I finished my food and carried my plate to the sink. “I’ll see if Grandma can come over here. If not, you can head over there.”

  “Mom, I’m almost thirteen. I can stay home by myself for an hour. Sherry stays home by herself all the time.”

  And Sherry would probably be pregnant by sixteen. “No.”

  “Mom, come on. I’m just gonna do my homework. You don’t trust me?”