Witch is How The Dice Fell

by Adele Abbott

“I did, but Kathy’s asked me to go over to the new shop to give her moral support.”

  “You’re a good sister.”

  “You’re right. I am. And if you’d like to earn some Brownie points, you can make breakfast while I get showered.”

  “What if I’m not interested in Brownie points?”

  “You can do it anyway.”

  Bless his little cotton socks, Jack had breakfast waiting for me when I got downstairs.

  “How did things go at the casino last night?” He took a sip of coffee.

  “Okay, I suppose.”

  “You don’t sound very sure.”

  “I’m pretty sure I know why Kirk Sparks was murdered. The owner of the casino is a wizard named Orville Ringstone. It seems that he isn’t satisfied with the house’s normal cut, so he’s using witches and wizards to increase his take.”

  “How’s he doing that?”

  “The sups he recruits use magic to win at the tables, but they don’t get to keep their winnings. They have to turn the money over to Ringstone in return for a measly pay-out that isn’t even minimum wage. I followed one of the winners home last night. She’s running a clapped-out old car and living in near slum conditions. That’s despite winning thousands in the casino whenever she visits.”

  “It’s a clever scam.”

  “I’m positive that Kirk Sparks must have worked out what was happening.”

  “Even if you’re right, what could he have done about it? It’s not like he could have run an article about sups, is it?”

  “I suspect he’d decided to take what he knew to the rogue retrievers. Ringstone must have got a whiff of what was happening, and decided to eliminate him.”

  “What will you do now?”

  “I’ll do what Kirk had planned to do. I’ll pass on what I know to Daze.”

  “That’s a result, surely?”

  “I suppose so. The only problem is that I can’t tell Bernie Sparks any of this.”

  “What will you tell her?”

  “That I can find no evidence that points to her husband being murdered. It stinks, but what else can I do?”

  “You did your best.” He kissed the top of my head. “At least you have something to look forward to tonight.”

  “What’s happening tonight?”

  “Have you forgotten? You’re going to the circus with the twins and Aunt Lucy.”

  “Oh bum! I’d forgotten about that stupid thing.”

  “It’ll be great. I wish I could come with you.”

  “I wish you could go instead of me.”

  “You’ll enjoy it when you get there.”

  “At least there are no clowns.”

  “How come?”

  “Apparently, the clown troupe have handed in their notice.”

  “What good is a circus without clowns?”

  “If I had my way, there would be no more clowns anywhere.”

  “You should see a therapist about that phobia of yours.”

  “I don’t have a phobia. I just don’t find them funny.”

  “If you say so. I don’t suppose your grandmother has been in touch about the marketing for TenPinCon, has she? The big promo is supposed to be this weekend.”

  “She has actually. She called me down to Ever yesterday.”

  “So? Don’t keep me on tenterhooks. What has she come up with?”

  “It’s pretty much the same idea as she had originally.”

  “With the giant bowling ball and pins? I thought we’d agreed that would be too dangerous?”

  “We did, and it would be, but now she’s going to make the ball and skittles spongy so that there’ll be no damage, and no one will get hurt.”

  “Do you trust her?”

  “I—err—”

  “Jill?”

  “Yes. Absolutely.” Fingers crossed. “She knows what she’s doing.”

  “Fair enough. Am I okay to let Tony and Clare know about the plans now?”

  “Yeah. I don’t see why not.”

  “Great.” He hesitated. “I’ve just remembered something; I have a bone to pick with you.”

  “What have I done now?”

  “One word: glockenspiel.”

  “Is that the time? I’d better rush or Kathy will give me grief.” I grabbed my bag and coat, and hightailed it towards the door.

  “Sooner or later, we will talk about this, Jill.”

  ***

  “I didn’t think you were coming.” Kathy unlocked the door, and let me into the shop.

  “It’s only five-past.” I glanced around the place. “This all looks great.”

  “Thanks. Pippa has done most of the work.”

  “Where is she?”

  “In the back, putting the nibbles on plates.”

  “Morning, Jill.” Pippa must have heard us talking. “Will you tell your sister to stop panicking. I’ve tried, but she won’t listen to me.”

  “What if no one turns up?” Kathy said. “Maybe it was a mistake opening a shop in West Chipping.”

  I rolled my eyes at Pippa. “I was just saying to Kathy that everything looks great. It’s bigger than your other shop, isn’t it?”

  “Yes.” Kathy adjusted one of the wedding gowns on display. “It’s almost twice as big. Are you sure this display looks alright?”

  “It all looks fantastic. Why don’t we have a small glass of bubbly? It might calm your nerves.”

  “Okay, then.” Kathy nodded.

  “Shall I get it?” Pippa offered.

  “It’s okay. I’ll see to it.” I walked through to the stockroom at the back of the shop. There were half a dozen bottles of champagne in ice buckets on a small table, so I grabbed the nearest one, with almost disastrous results. It slipped from my hand, but luckily, with my razor-sharp reflexes, I managed to catch it before it smashed on the floor.

  Phew! Disaster averted.

  I picked up three champagne flutes, and walked through to the shop. After putting the glasses on the counter, I removed the wire cage from the bottle, and grasped the cork.

  Just then, Kathy who had been making further adjustments to one of the gowns, turned around and screamed in horror, “Don’t open that in here.”

  The champagne exploded out of the bottle. In a panic, I turned back towards the stockroom, but in doing so, I managed to spray champagne over every dress in the shop.

  For the longest moment, there was an eerie silence, but then Kathy became hysterical.

  “Look what you’ve done! Everything is ruined!”

  She was right. The gorgeous dresses were all now soaked in champagne. There was only one thing to do. I cast the ‘take-it-back’ spell, followed quickly by the ‘forget’ spell.

  While Kathy was still feeling a little fuzzy, I turned to Pippa. “Act as though nothing happened.”

  “Okay.”

  I hurried back into the stockroom, opened the champagne, but this time with a towel over the top of the bottle. Then I poured out the bubbly and took the three glasses through to the shop.

  “I’m not sure I should have a drink.” Kathy took the glass anyway. “I already feel a little light-headed.”

  But she did take one, and moments later, the three of us drank a toast to her new venture.

  ***

  It was almost ten o’clock when I left the shop. Kathy needn’t have worried because within minutes of opening, she had twelve customers through the door. All of them seemed to approve of the shop, and at least two of them tried on dresses.

  Kathy’s business was going from strength to strength, and it was way past time that I did something to boost my own. The first step in that process would be to listen to the ideas that Alistair had been formulating since he arrived. The previous day, he’d indicated he was ready to have a discussion with me, and I was eager to hear what he’d come up with.

  “Morning, Mrs V. Morning, Alistair. Shall we make a start?”

  “Sorry?” He looked puzzled. “On what?”

  “You said you were r
eady to discuss your findings?”

  “Err, no. I’m not quite ready yet. I should have everything finalised by Friday, though.”

  “I thought you said—err, never mind. Friday it is, then.”

  “You can call me champ.” Winky thumped the punch bag.

  “You mean chump, don’t you?”

  “Nothing you can say will upset me today. Are you ready to admit you were wrong?”

  “About what?” I took a seat at my desk. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

  “Bruiser has done a runner. He knew he was in for a beating, so he took the coward’s way out, and did a moonlight flit.”

  “I think Kimmy and Jimmy may have had to get rid of him. You know how the landlord feels about tenants keeping pets.”

  “That’s what Bruiser would like us to believe, but he’s just trying to save face. There’s only one reason he’s left, and that’s because he was scared of yours truly.” Winky gave the punch bag a couple more thumps. “I’m the greatest.”

  “I hear you float like a bee and sting like a butterfly.”

  “Not funny.”

  ***

  At my request, Daze and Blaze had come over to the office.

  “Before you start, Jill,” Daze said. “I thought you’d like to know that the surveillance imps are tailing the three school governors. I’ll let you know as soon as they have anything to report.”

  “That’s great. And you’re absolutely sure that the imps are reliable? I’ve heard some dodgy things about them.”

  “You have nothing to worry about. We’ve worked with the surveillance imps on numerous occasions, and we’ve never had a spot of bother, have we, Blaze?”

  “No.” He hesitated. “Apart from the flatulence.”

  “Don’t be ridiculous.” She shot him a look.

  “You weren’t the one who was trapped in the lift with three of them on the Buckland case.” He screwed up his nose. “I was stuck in there with them for two hours. It was not a pleasant experience.”

  “Take no notice of him, Jill. He’s exaggerating as usual.”

  “All I’m saying, Jill.” Blaze had no intention of being silenced. “Is that you should avoid any confined spaces when you’re with them.”

  “I’ll bear that in mind.” Those two made a great double act. “Now to the reason I asked you to come over today. I have a rogue for you.”

  “Oh?” Daze took out a notepad. “Who’s that, and what have they done?”

  “There’s a casino halfway between here and West Chipping; it’s called Lucky Thirteen. The owner is a wizard who’s running a scam to fleece all the humans who venture inside.”

  I explained how vulnerable sups were being used to win money, which they were then forced to hand over to the casino owner.

  “That seems pretty clear cut,” Daze said. “And another feather in your cap, Jill.”

  “It doesn’t feel much like it.”

  “Why’s that?”

  “I originally became involved in this case because a reporter was killed outside the casino. He was crushed to death by two giant dice, which had supposedly been dislodged by a random lightning strike. His wife asked for my help; she wanted me to find proof that it wasn’t an accident. She believes he was killed because he was working on a story about the casino.”

  “Was she right?”

  “I believe so. What she didn’t know was that her husband was a sup. He’d figured out how the scam worked, and I’m pretty sure he was about to contact you guys. That’s when the ‘accident’ happened.”

  “You think the lightning strike was caused by magic?”

  “I’d bet my life on it, but there’s no way I can prove it, and even if I could, I can’t take any of this to the human authorities.”

  “Maybe not, but whoever’s responsible is going to spend an awfully long time behind bars back in Candlefield.”

  “Which is all well and good, but I still can’t tell the deceased’s widow anything. It stinks.”

  “I agree, but I don’t see what more you can do. Who is the casino owner anyway?”

  “His name is Orville Ringstone.”

  Daze and Blaze exchanged a look.

  “Have you two heard of him?” I said.

  “Maybe, maybe not. We’ve been on the lookout for a wizard called Stonering for some years now. Norville Stonering. He’s wanted for gambling related offences back in Candlefield.”

  “Do you reckon it’s the same guy?”

  “If not, it’s one heck of a coincidence. If it is him, then there may be other options open to us. Can you give us twenty-four hours on this one?”

  “What other options?”

  “I’d rather not say until we’ve had a chance to make some enquiries. The first thing I’d like to do is make sure they’re one and the same guy. Is it okay if I get back to you tomorrow?”

  “Sure.”

  As soon as Daze and Blaze had left, Winky took out the hula hoop, which he kept under the sofa. “You haven’t forgotten it’s our head-to-head competition on Friday, have you?” He gave the hoop a spin, and moments later, it dropped to the floor.

  “I haven’t. I’m very much looking forward to it.”

  “If you’d rather call it off, I’ll understand.” It was obvious that he was starting to get cold feet. “I realise your personal finances aren’t the best.”

  “Not at all. In fact, I’d be happy to double the wager if you’re up for it.”

  “I couldn’t take your money, Jill. It wouldn’t be fair.”

  “Don’t give it a second thought. I’m more than happy to double the original stakes.”

  “Fair enough.” He spun the hoop again, and this time managed to keep it going for all of twenty seconds.

  This was going to be the easiest money I’d ever made.

  Chapter 23

  I left the office a little earlier than usual because I wanted to spend some time going through Cosmo Alldig’s journals, and I knew I’d get more done if Jack wasn’t around to distract me.

  First, though, I had to call in at the corner shop because we were out of bread. Ideally, I would have used the shopping app, but I wasn’t buying enough to cover the minimum order. And besides, I always enjoyed my conversations with Little Jack.

  When I arrived at the shop, I was rather surprised to find a bike rack on either side of the door. Both racks were full of bikes, all of which had baskets on the front. I was in for an even bigger shock once I stepped inside the shop. Normally, there were no more than two or three customers in there at a time, but today, it took a while to get inside because the place was full of customers—most of them teenagers.

  It was a bit of a struggle, but I eventually managed to grab a loaf, and make my way to the counter, behind which was Little Jack (on his stilts), Lucy Locket, Peter Piper, and a cast of thousands. To say that Little Jack looked harassed would have been an understatement.

  “Could I just pay for this loaf of bread, please, Jack?”

  “Sorry, Jill, I didn’t see you standing there.”

  “You’re very busy today. Are you running a promotion or something?”

  “These aren’t customers. They’re all the staff I’ve had to take on to cope with the orders generated by the shopping app.”

  “Oh? That explains all the bikes.”

  “Is that all you need today, Jill? No custard creams?”

  “No, thanks. Just the bread.”

  By the time I’d managed to fight my way back out of the shop it was a wonder the bread wasn’t stale. I was beginning to think that Little Jack hadn’t thought through the shopping app and delivery service.

  There had always been a line of bushes in between what was now the Normals’ house and their next-door neighbours, but until today, no one had tried their hand at topiary on them.

  “What do you think, Jill?” Naomi called to me as I got out of the car. “Norm has always wanted to have a go at this. He’s a natural, wouldn’t you say?”

&
nbsp; “Err, yeah. The chicken is very good.”

  “It’s a lion.”

  “Did I say chicken? I meant lion. What’s that next to it? Is it some kind of fish?”

  “It’s a unicorn.”

  “Of course it is. I can see that now. And the last one?”

  “A bear.”

  “Right. It’s quite a small bear. Is it a koala?”

  “No, it’s a brown bear. It started off much bigger than it is now, but Norm slipped and cut it off at the groin.”

  “Painful.”

  “Aren’t you going to ask why he chose the lion, unicorn and bear?” The truth was, I didn’t give even the smallest— “I’ll tell you. It’s to represent our family coat of arms.”

  “You have a coat of arms?”

  “Of course. Don’t you?”

  “Not that I know of.”

  “You should try to find out. Would you like to know what our family motto is?”

  “Sure.”

  “normalis semper. Can you guess what that means?”

  “Alphorn player?”

  “You’re obviously not a Latin scholar.” She laughed. “It means always normal.”

  “Great. Anyway, I’d better get going.”

  “Blast!” Norm dropped the hedge trimmer.

  “Are you okay?” Naomi shouted. “Did you cut yourself?”

  “No, I’ve just lopped off the unicorn’s horn by mistake.”

  I made myself a cup of tea, and settled down at the kitchen table with the pile of journals. They were so mind-numbingly boring that I might have nodded off, had it not been for the dust, which kept making me sneeze.

  Two hours later, and with five journals still to go, I could take no more. Once I’d finished the last few pages of the current book, I’d leave the rest until tomorrow.

  But then, I spotted it.

  The entry was headed: Griselda The Vile. The details were sparse, but it left me in no doubt that it referred to the unmarked headstone I’d seen Belladonna visit. Cosmo Alldig’s entry read:

  I fought long and hard to persuade them not to accept her body, but the authorities insisted that everyone was entitled to a burial. I said they should have fed her to the rats, but that didn’t go down very well. In the end, I had no choice but to accept their decision. It was either that or lose my job, and I couldn’t afford to do that. Obviously, the grave is situated in The Shadows, and the headstone has been left blank. I hope she rots in Hell.