Becoming Death

by Melissa Brown

  Unlike Elizabeth’s memories, which had started to fade, Max’s desperate need to confirm his love to Sheryl stayed with me. He was a ghost of a memory, haunting me with his unfinished business. I could still feel his pain at Sheryl’s rejection in the restaurant and his genuine need to get her back into his life. He needed a proper goodbye, and I knew deep down I was the only person that could give it to him.

  Dear Sheryl

  I will always miss you…

  No, it sounded like he was writing from beyond the grave. I scribbled out the text in my notepad.

  Sheryl

  You’re the only one for me.

  Nope, he sounds like a teenager.

  I tapped my pen against the table. What ever I thought of sounded clumsy and fake. She’d never believe the letter was really from him, and I needed her to. I wasn’t only doing this for Max; I had seen Sheryl at the funeral too. Even with their divorce and her new partner, it was obvious Max was and always would be her first love. I needed to do this right.

  In my all black getup I looked more like a cat burglar than someone delivering a goodbye letter to a widow. The envelope with Sheryl’s name scrolled across the front crinkled between my fingers. I was nervous. What if my obfuscation didn’t work? She could easily recognize me from the funeral or my earlier visit to the restaurant. I’d look like a stalker and my choice of outfit wouldn’t say otherwise.

  I paused at the doorway to the restaurant, trying to think invisible thoughts. Go inside, I dared myself. The handbook had made it seem so easy, like something out of Peter Pan: if you believed you could become invisible to others, you would be. Sadly, that never worked for me in high school and it didn’t seem to work today either.

  I held my breath and closed my eyes to focus on my impossible task. Inside my head I chanted, I am invisible, no one will see me. I am invisible, no one will know I’m here. My stomached flopped and nausea overtook me. I opened my eyes, hoping that was the sign it had worked.

  I opened the door slightly and slipped between the gap. Something felt different and I was now confident I could pull this off.

  “Can I help you, sweetheart?” A waitress stepped in front of me, pulling a menu out from the holder at the counter.

  My heart dropped to my knees and I fumbled with the letter, stuffing it into my back pocket. “I, umm… bathroom.” I pushed past her and headed to the stall. “Idiot, idiot,” I hissed, locking the door. Why hadn’t it taken? It seemed so simple in the book and Tiara clearly hadn’t had any problems. I stared at myself in the mirror. What was wrong with me? Screw it. I pulled the letter from my pocket. I didn’t need my obfuscation to pull this off. I threw open the door and headed to the tables.

  My path was blocked as Tiara appeared out of nowhere and snatched the letter from my hand. “Clark, are you an idiot?”

  “Hey, what the hell?” I said reaching for the letter, but she held it behind her back.

  She shook a finger at me. “Naughty, naughty, Madison.”

  “Give that back right now. Someone is going to see us.”

  “Relax, loser, we’re obfuscated. Have you even read the handbook? Because if you had, you’d know we’re never supposed to speak to our client’s family or friends. We’re especially never supposed to give them messages from beyond the grave. I told Ms. Winters you’d mess up. That’s why I followed you,” Tiara explained.

  I stepped closer to her, my eyes burning into hers. “My reaps are none of your business, so get out of my way.”

  “So you can give that waitress this letter? No way. Being a grim reaper is bigger than both of us, Clark. Do you even understand the ramifications your actions could have on all of our lives? If humans knew there was a way to cheat death, we’d all be history,” Tiara said, tearing the letter apart. “I’m protecting all of us from idiots like you.”

  My shoulders shook and I lowered my head. “She has a right to know he loved her.”

  “Then he should have told her when he was alive. It’s over, Clark. It’s not your responsibility anymore.”

  I backed up towards the door and left the restaurant shaking my head. Deep down I knew she was right. My phone rang as I opened my car door, and I settled inside before answering it. “Hello.”

  “Madison,” my sister’s voice whimpered.

  “Clarissa, is that you?” I wasn’t used hearing my sister in an emotional state.

  “Do you know where Mom is? She’s not answering her phone. I need—”

  “What’s the matter? Are you okay? Did something go wrong at work?” I interrupted her.

  “I messed up. I messed up so bad,” Clarissa said.

  “Where are you?”

  “At home. I need Mom.”

  “Well you’ll have to settle for me. I’ll be there in a few minutes.”

  It took me five minutes to get to Clarissa’s apartment and another five minutes to convince her doorman to let me inside.

  I knocked on her door. “It’s me,” I called from the hallway.

  The door clicked and swung open slowly. Clarissa stood behind it hunched over, her chin drooping against her neck.

  “Hey,” I said

  She didn’t greet me. She closed her eyes tightly and made her way to the couch. She leaned into the sofa like it had arms to comfort her and cradled her stomach.

  I sat down at the other end and faced her. “You seemed really upset on the phone.”

  She blinked her puffy eyes at me and stared blankly into the middle distance.

  “Clarissa, you’re freaking me out. What happened?”

  She cried against her palm. “I was so stupid.”

  I reached across the distance to squeeze her hand. “Did you make a mistake? Did you take the wrong person or something?”

  She shook her head. She pushed a book towards me. I instantly recognized it as our grim reaper handbook. I picked it up at the open page and read:

  Female reapers should avoid sexual intercourse within twenty-four hours of soul extraction, as there is an increased risk of pregnancy. Birth control medication will be ineffective during this time and the likelihood of conception increases to ninety-five percent. Please use caution.

  My eyes shot up at her. “You’re pregnant?”

  She hid behind her auburn hair. “I’m so stupid, Madison. I had an affair with my boss. He’s a married man. He promised he’d leave his wife for me. But now I’m having his baby and he’s not leaving her.”

  “He said that?” I asked, wishing I had his address so I could teach him a lesson with a baseball bat.

  She leaned her head into her hand. “Yeah, then he fired me.

  I covered my mouth with my hand. I wasn’t sure what to say. I’d never seen my sister like this before.

  “I can’t raise a baby on my own with no job. I don’t know what I’m doing and I’m not ready. This is not in my five year plan.”

  I scooted closer and hugged her. “This isn’t the end of the world. You need to stay positive. This a good thing.”

  “How? My life is falling apart.” She pulled away.

  I held her arm. “It’s not falling apart, it’s changing. You’re changing. You’re going to be a mother. I have no doubt in my mind you’ll get a new job in a few days and be able to raise that baby on your own.”

  She stood up, taking some uncertain steps away. “You don’t understand the pressure I’m under. I was the only woman in my office. Want to know why? Because this is what happens to women. They get themselves pregnant and then people think we can’t do our jobs anymore. No one will hire me—I’m a risk now. I had a plan, career goals that were within my reach, and now my dreams are over.”

  “That is bull. I know you too well to think for even a second that you’d give up that easily. Yes, there may be jerks in the world that think women are inferior, but you’ll prove them wrong. You always have. You work hard and want it more than the rest. Why shouldn’t your dreams include a great career and a family?”

  “I just don’t know i
f I’m ready to be responsible for someone else,” she said.

  “I don’t think anyone ever is.”

  Clarissa looked down at her stomach, massaging it with her hand. “You promise to babysit?”

  “Yes.” I jumped up from the sofa and hugged her. “I’m going to be the coolest aunt ever.”

  Chapter 16

  When I arrived home from Clarissa’s apartment I was pleased to find Aaron doing the dishes in the kitchen.

  “Hey,” I said. I stood behind him and wrapped arms around his chest to cuddle him. Aaron turned his head to look at me and I leaned forwards with my arms still around him to touch his lips to mine.

  “Nice day at work?” he asked, giving me a final kiss on the cheek.

  I let him go and leaned against the counter next to him. “It was okay. Not everything I expected, but okay,” I said, trying to pass off today as normal. I hoped Cindy’s death wouldn’t be in the six o’clock news.

  “How did they die?” Aaron asked me, glancing at my figure-hugging dress and high heels while he cleaned a plate

  “Their neck was broken by a coffin lid,” I blurted out loud. Luckily Aaron didn’t seem to notice.

  He shuddered. “As deaths go, that has got to suck.”

  “Yeah, well, there was a lot of people there, so they must have been loved.” My mind drifted back to Derek crying at the sight of Cindy’s dead body.

  “I stopped by Clarissa’s on the way home. I probably shouldn’t tell you until my mom knows, but she’s pregnant.”

  His eyes widened. “Really? I thought she was a workaholic?”

  “She’s decided she can have both a career and a family,” I said.

  “Good for her.” Aaron leaned forwards. “I’m glad you had a good day because I’ve spent the day thinking about you. I couldn’t wait to see you again.”

  I hooked my fingers into his belt loop and pulled him close. “What did you think about?”

  “That’s my little secret, but I bet you could guess.”

  I tapped a finger against my cheek. “I don’t know. You always were a bit of a pervert, so it could be anything.”

  “Fine, I’ll tell you one thing.”

  “I’m all ears,” I said, loving how natural it felt to flirt with my best friend.

  “Kissing my way down your stomach kept coming to mind,” he said, moistening his lips.

  I subconsciously ran my fingers over my stomach before placing them on his shoulder. “I thought about your shoulders.” I moved behind him and massaged his back.

  Aaron closed his eyes. He dropped the plate he was holding back into the sink. “Careful, or you’ll make me break something.”

  I leaned my head on his shoulder and began to kiss his neck. Aaron pulled away and flipped around. He placed his hands, still soapy from the water, in my hair and yanked me forwards. We kissed like it was the only way we could breath. After a few moments he broke the kiss and just held my face, staring into my eyes.

  I blushed. “You’re embarrassing me.”

  “Just give me this moment,” he said as he ran his thumb over my cheek. “This won’t be new forever.”

  After a minute he pulled away and returned to the dishes. “I think we should go out to dinner tonight, to celebrate your new job and to have our first official date. Does that sound alright?” Aaron looked over his shoulder at me.

  I wrapped my arms around his back. “Yeah, okay, let’s do it. But I’ll need to change, you got me all wet.”

  “Hmm… that was one of the other things I pictured you saying.”

  “Aaron, you’re horrible.”

  “I’m a guy.” He dumped out the dishwater and wiped his hands on a towel. “By all means, go change. I’ll think of somewhere special to take you.”

  We pulled into Bread, Sauce and Cheese. I looked over at Aaron. “This is perfect.”

  After he parked, Aaron ran around the car to open my door. As he took my hand, I could tell he had a lot invested in tonight, but then again so did I. I wanted our first real date as a couple to go well. As we waited for a table, I took in the atmosphere. Music played out of an old fashioned jukebox with records and the booths looked like they were straight out a fifties diner. The popular kids in high school had always avoided it because it was tacky, but this had always been our place. We’d come here nearly every Friday night after school to gossip, eat greasy food and drink root beer floats. Although we’d grown up a bit, it was still my favorite place in town. Aaron had chosen well.

  Aaron led me to our usual booth tucked away at the back, next to the foosball table. “I wonder if they have anything new.” He scanned through the menu quickly. “The steak melt looks good.”

  The specials got less interesting when I realized Aaron was staring at me again. “Seriously, stop it. I’m not even pretty.”

  “You’re not looking at yourself. If you were, you’d stare too.”

  “You’re just blinded by lust and hormones,” I said.

  “Well duh, but we may as well enjoy this honeymoon period while it lasts,” he noted.

  “Thanks for bringing me here. It feels great to be in my favorite place with a hot guy.”

  “Don’t get too used to it. I’ve got you now. I’m planning to let myself go at any minute. Lose my hair and gain about twenty pounds.” He patted his stomach. “Double order of onion rings it is.”

  “Don’t you dare,” I said.

  “It’s all down hill from here. Better get used to it,” he said.

  “You always did fill me with such confidence.”

  “Here, I got you this.” He pushed another plastic vending machine capsule towards me. “I was going to give this to you at the bowling alley the other day but I chickened out.”

  “Another expensive present? To what do I owe the honor?”

  “It was the first one I got. I thought you might like it better.”

  I popped open the top and pulled out another piece of jewelry. This one a necklace with a simple red heart. I ran my finger over the flat surface.

  “I won your heart and now I wanted you to have mine.”

  “You nerd,” I said, placing the necklace around my neck.

  “Well that would make you a super nerd, cause you’re dating me.”

  I smirked.

  A waitress with curly gray hair glided over to our table on roller skates. “Evening, kids, what can I get you?” she asked.

  “Do you want our usual?” Aaron asked me.

  “If you can remember it,” I said.

  “Large cheese pizza with pineapple on one side and bacon on the other; and two root beer floats?” he confirmed the order to the waitress.

  “And we’re officially back in school. All we need is some J-pop or a bad reality show playing on my phone .”

  “I don't think I could revive my New Jersey accent.”

  “Seriously, this place hasn’t changed. Why did we ever stop coming here? The food is good, the booths are comfortable, there's free wifi and it’s cheap—what else did we need?”

  “I disagree. If this was high school, we wouldn’t be on a date,” he noted. “I think prom was the last time we came here. We were dating other people. I dated Alice and you had a couple of dates with Billy and Greg. I never felt right bringing Alice here because it was our place.”

  “I never came here with Billy. He never took me anywhere but his car or his parents’ basement,” I said with a gag. “As for Greg, we only went to museums and concerts. I swear the guy never ate.”

  Aaron reached his hand across the table and touched my fingers. “Let’s start coming here again. It would be good for us to have a place, even if it’s a greasy old pizza place.”

  “Sounds alright to me,” I told him, fiddling with my new necklace.

  Aaron flagged down the waitress. “Can we get our order to go?”

  I titled my head at him. “I thought you wanted to eat here?”

  “I was thinking about it and realized I could be at home with you in bed ea
ting pizza. Which would you chose?”

  I chuckled to myself. “Alright. We’ll go home and eat pizza in bed, but if we’re eating, no making out until we are done.”

  “I can live with that,” Aaron said.

  Chapter 17

  The week after Cindy’s death was frantic at Happy Mourners’. Due the short staffing, I was called in to take over all of Cindy’s clients. I didn’t have the flare for drama she had been famous for, but I did my best and it seemed to be good enough. There were a few tense moments during an open casket scene for an eighty-year-old man, who had hired me to be his widow, but even Derek had agreed it was a big ask for my first week.

  I had been watching Harrison closely all week, wondering if Tiara’s death mark had worked. He had already surpassed three days and had to be living on borrowed time. Every time he coughed, tripped or drove anywhere I was sure that was it. I had no idea what Tiara had imagined and I couldn’t help myself from coming up with strange death scenarios when we worked together. My favorite had been Harrison being caught in a stampede of escaped zoo animals. It wasn’t pleasant, but at least it was original.

  It was Thursday when I finally got a break from the constant funerals. I needed to catch up on my paperwork. Harrison had stayed behind as well to finish filing Cindy’s old funeral reports. He had volunteered to go through her files out of respect and because they had worked together so often.

  “It’s been a crazy week,” Harrison said, breaking our silence.