Becoming Death

by Melissa Brown

  Derek pointed at a balding man. “Bill, I’ve got you and Tina at the Elaine Gibson funeral at Greener Pastures.” A tiny Asian woman wrote the details in her diary as Bill was handed the folder.

  “That leaves us with Madison, Harrison and Cindy. You’ll be with me at Sunshine Fields at eleven.” Cindy leaned closer to Derek and glared at me. “Just a reminder, time cards and evaluation sheets need to be in tomorrow morning if you want to be paid.”

  When he finished talking, the others left the room leaving only my group.

  Derek patted the table next to me. “I need to go grab your employment forms.” He picked up the plant and followed the others.

  The door shut behind him. I smiled at Harrison and Cindy but neither of them spoke. Cindy pulled out a compact mirror and began combing her fingers through her wavy hair. She was even prettier up close: flawless skin and a body that would make beauty queens jealous.

  As if to break the silence, my phone made a tweeting noise. I rooted through my bag for it. New Client the screen read, but before I could click on the notification the man reached across the table to shake my hand.

  “It’s Madison, right? I’m Harrison Roads.”

  I dropped the phone back into my bag and took his hand. He was the spitting image of Clark Kent.

  I nodded, shaking his hand. “Yeah, I’m Madison Clark.”

  He shook my hand eagerly. “It’s great to have another member in the team.”

  I looked over at Cindy but she continued to ignore me. She was pouting at the mirror and applying a fresh layer of ruby-red lipstick.

  “Have you been doing this long?” I asked.

  He tapped his chin. “Two years.” He pointed at Cindy. “Cindy is the pro. She’s been at this for six.”

  Cindy snapped her compact shut. She gave me a disgusted look like I had just been pulled off the bottom of her heel. “Aren’t you a bit young? Have you even finished high school?”

  “Yeah, I finished last year. I’m eighteen,” I huffed.

  “Well at least you’re legal. The last one he tried to bring in was seventeen.”

  “What are you talking about?”

  “Whatever little school girl crush you have on Derek, just get over it now. True, he likes them young and that’s why you were hired, but Derek is also happily married.”

  “I’m sure Madison will make a great mourner,” Harrison assured her.

  She leaned on her hand. “I’m just tired of Derek bringing in all these children. It makes us look so unprofessional at services. People will think you’re some kind of illegitimate child.”

  Harrison narrowed his eyes at her. “It hasn’t been that bad. Give her a chance, she’ll fit in just fine.”

  “I saw your work at Max Davidson’s funeral. I just want a chance to be as good an actress as you,” I said.

  Cindy sighed. She rose from her seat and started to leave the room. She stopped next to me and leaned down, steadying herself on my shoulder. My body jolted at the touch on my bare skin and I snapped backwards against the chair. I felt the now familiar feeling of a soul being taken as she whispered, “I don’t need some teenage understudy.”

  Her memories rushed through me. I saw her in school plays, attending acting school and failing auditions. Gaining employment at Happy Mourners, throwing herself across coffins and, strangely enough, kissing Derek. It was happening again. She was my third victim. I blinked rapidly and shuddered. She pulled her hand away. I stared at my shoulder; it had betrayed me.

  Cindy stepped back. “What is wrong with you?”

  I closed my eyes tightly. I wished this all had been a nightmare. That I would wake up and start over again. I opened my eyes again. No dice. “Migraines, sorry. I get really bad migraines.”

  “Fine, pop some pills and let’s get going.”

  I groaned, trying to push away Cindy’s memories, but the pain of her rejections ate away at me.

  “We’ll be outside,” Harrison said, tilting his head at the door.

  I waited for the sound of the front door opening before I pulled out my phone. I scanned through the information of my newest client. It was Cindy. At least taking her soul wasn’t a freak accident, just inconvenient.

  “You ready?” Derek asked from the doorway.

  “As much as I’m ever going to be.” I stood up and with uneasy steps followed him outside.

  He handed me an envelope. “You’ll need to fill out these forms and get them back to me as soon as you can.”

  More paperwork. Just what I needed. I tucked the envelope into my handbag for some bedtime reading. “I’m not sure where Sunshine Fields is. Do you have a map I can borrow?”

  Derek patted my shoulder. “That’s alright, we always carpool anyway. Cindy will drive.”

  I froze in the middle of the parking lot. Get into a car with someone marked for death? No way, bad idea. What if one of the other reapers had gotten to Derek or Harrison too?

  “I’d prefer to take my car, if that’s okay,” I said to Derek, inching towards my Beetle.

  He curled his arm. “Come on, how are you supposed to get to know your co-workers? Plus, you get to sit next to me.” He flashed his gleaming white teeth at me.

  I rubbed the top of my hand. “Do you think she’d let me drive?”

  Derek let out a single laugh. “Unlikely, but you can ask.”

  We joined Cindy, who was leaning against her red sports car texting.

  “Mind if I drive?”

  “I don’t let children touch my car,” she said, looking up from her phone.

  “I promise I’m a great driver. You look really tired. I’m sure you could use a break.”

  Cindy’s eyes shot up. “Are you trying to say I look old?”

  “No, no, just tired. You look young for your age. Practically a college student.”

  She frowned at me. “No one drives my car but me.”

  I backed up, glancing at my Beetle. “Maybe we should take two cars. It would be much less crowed. I’m happy to take mine.”

  “Suits me,” Cindy huffed as she got into her driver’s seat.

  Derek looked between us. “What ever is going on between you and Cindy needs to end right now. Get in the car—we need to go.” He held the door open for me.

  I weighed the odds of a car accident against losing my job and climbed into the car. I was pretty sure I had been picturing a funeral when she touched me, but I buckled my seatbelt just in case. I’d be fine. I was immortal, I reminded myself, wondering if it extended to death in accidents.

  I knew I had made the wrong decision when Cindy ran a stop sign and narrowly avoided hitting a pick-up truck. “He came out of nowhere,” she said.

  I spent the whole trip gripping the seat in front of me for dear life. Even being practically immortal, I doubted anyone could survive her moving death trap. No one else seemed to notice that she never slowed down at yellow lights, sped up on turns and had given the finger to a biker she had cut off.

  Derek was too busy staring at my legs to notice Cindy’s horrible driving; I swear he was searching for any hairs I had missed while shaving this morning. Harrison had spent the whole trip adjusting the radio in hopes of finding the most boring talk radio station he could.

  As soon as we pulled into Sunshine Fields, I threw open my door and rushed away from the car like it was about to explode. I looked skyward and silently thanked fate for keeping me alive. I thought about dropping to the ground to kiss the sidewalk, but even around these people that seemed overly dramatic. After all, I didn’t want to show up Cindy in what could be her last performance.

  Derek led us to the space where an open casket and a group of chairs were set up fifty feet away. “Cindy, you’ll be Rick’s grieving widow; Harrison, you’re his best friend; and Madison, since you’re new, just look sad and sit towards the back. Everyone alright with that?”

  Cindy sneered at me. “I wish I could show up for work and have to do nothing.”

  “You were once new too. She�
��ll find her place,” Derek said. “This is a team performance. No one has a bigger part than anyone else.”

  “Except for me, I’m the lead,” Cindy said, walking towards the casket.

  “Don’t let her worry you,” Derek said.

  “I have a feeling we’ll find a way to get along.” I made my way to a seat in the last row.

  Cindy ran her fingers along the casket, swaying her hips as she walked. She paused and leaned her arms on the coffin’s edge to peer inside. She seemed to be in a deep meditation that was only broken when she kissed the tip of her finger and placed it on Rick’s cheek.

  I didn’t know how she did it. I felt uncomfortable sitting a few rows away from the corpse and she had no qualms about touching the body or throwing herself across it. Maybe she was a better actress than I gave her credit for. She sat in the front row in the chair closest to the coffin. She reached into her cleavage and pulled out a handkerchief. She dabbed at her eyes, careful not to smudge her makeup.

  Derek took the seat next to her and comforted her by holding her knee. She turned, crossing her leg towards him. My eyes bounced between them as she pointed an eyebrow at him. His hand stroked across her thigh.

  I turned away. Well, that explained the kiss. No wonder she had been so defensive earlier. She was a black widow, marking her territory. I thought of Aaron. He was the right choice. I didn’t need the kind of drama that went along with having a crush on a married man with a mistress.

  Harrison sat down next to me. “It’s not as weird as you think.”

  I glanced over at Cindy and Derek again. “What isn’t?”

  “Grieving for someone you don’t know. At first it feels strange, but you get used to it.”

  “Do you lose the need for emotional attachment after awhile?” I asked, remembering what I’d been told about being a grim reaper.

  “No, if anything it’s the opposite. With every funeral I’ve been to, it makes me reflect on where I am in my life. Our lives are short. Every dead person I see makes me want to live my life to the fullest because they don’t get the chance to anymore.”

  I slumped forwards. I had already lost my chance. Death had already got me.

  “You get to think when you see death everyday. You realize it’s only a matter of time before it’s going to affect you. Everyone’s got a number. We’re all going to die someday,” he said.

  “That makes me more angry than sad for these people.” I lowered my eyes.

  “Why?”

  “These people should have someone that cares about them enough to be here. It shouldn’t be up to us to play a part. There should be someone real,” I said.

  “That’s why I’m a mourner: I wanted to help the ones they leave behind. I was one of them. It’s a lonely place. You have to understand that just because someone doesn’t have a lot of people in attendance, it doesn’t mean they weren’t respected and loved by the people who do come,” he said, wiping the corner of his eye.

  I patted his shoulder. “You’re a good guy, Harrison.”

  Harrison pointed behind him as other people started to arrive. “I better take my seat. Rick’s going to need his best friend today.”

  Other guests took the seats in front of me. My row was still half empty, but I was sure Rick would still be pleased with this turnout.

  As the crowd increased, Cindy stepped up her grieving widow routine. She sobbed loudly in the front row, drawing the attention of the crowd. She cried with a touch of elegance, like she was a piece of art on display. Her movements were slow and determined. She dabbed the corners of her eyes and the top of her chest under Derek’s encouraging gaze. She leaned into Derek’s shoulder and he pulled her into a tight embrace. If I hadn’t known they were acting, it would seem Rick’s bride had forgotten him awfully quickly.

  Someone sat down beside me. “You’re working today too? I guess it’s your lucky day, Clark, you get to hang out with me.”

  I turned to see Tiara dressed in a lacy number with a black rose stuck in her blonde curls. “It’s a lovely day for an outdoor funeral, wouldn’t you say?”

  “What are you doing here?” I said.

  “As I said, working. Is this guy one of yours?” she asked, pointing at the casket.

  “No. To make a long story short, this is my day job. The blonde in the front row is the one who’s going to peg it.”

  “What a relief.” She held her chest. “I thought you’d messed up an assignment and I was being called in to play clean-up. The paperwork is always so difficult to fill in for those ones.”

  I pinched my eyebrows together. “No, I haven’t messed up, yet. I think I’ve got it down now.”

  She gave me a thumbs-up. “That’s good. Stay positive. When you get a difficult case, it’ll help.”

  I clenched my jaw. “Who are you here for anyway?”

  Tiara checked her phone. “I’ve got to find some guy named Harrison Roads.”

  “What? That can’t be right.”

  She jiggled the phone screen at me. “I assume you know him. Where is he?”

  I sighed, motioning in his direction with my head.

  “Got him,” she said. She moved between the rows until she was sat behind him. “Excuse me,” she said, tapping the back of his neck. “Do you know what time it is?”

  Unaware anything had happened, Harrison looked down at his watch and read off the time. “It’s five to eleven.”

  I shot daggers at Tiara as she returned to her seat next me and folded her arms in her lap. “See, that’s how it’s done. I may as well stay and enjoy the show. What did you picture for her?”

  “I don’t know. Just the funeral, I think.”

  “You are such an amateur,” she said.

  I saw a flash like I had with Elizabeth’s death and felt time slow.

  Tiara leaned back in her chair. “Showtime.”

  My heartbeat sped up and echoed in my ears until it was the only sound left in the world. Cindy rose from her seat and walked in slow motion towards the casket. One of her heels sank into the ground, causing her to twist her ankle. She fell forwards and knocked her head into the corner of the casket. My breath hitched. Ouch. She held on to the side of the casket, causing the whole thing to sway under her weight. She hauled herself up, balancing on one foot. Derek started to stand up from his chair but she waved him away. “I'm okay,” she said, slipping instantly back into character. She leaned over the body and held Rick’s cheek. “Rick, I—” she was cut off, literary, as the casket lid slammed down into her neck. A spray of blood splattered across the other guests. When the flash finished, Cindy didn’t scream or kick for help. Her body slumped against the coffin, her neck still attached to a piece of metal on the coffin lid. The silence was sickening. Everyone sat with their mouths agape.

  Tiara turned to me and mouthed, “Wow, good job.”

  Derek stumbled to his feet first and ran to the coffin. “Cindy! Oh my God, Cindy!”

  “Someone call 911!” Harrison said, following behind Derek to join him at the casket.

  I froze and watched as Tiara pulled out her phone and dialed the digits nine-one-one impossibly slowly.

  “You shouldn’t touch the body,” an elderly woman said from the seats.

  Ignoring her, Derek and Harrison lifted the lid and were met with blood dripping from it. Derek’s fingers slipped and the lid crashed down on Cindy’s neck again.

  He collapsed on the ground and buried his head in his hand. “She’s gone. What’s the point?”

  Harrison retreated to a chair and sat down, hanging his head.

  I ran to the guys and rubbed Derek’s back. “The ambulance is coming. They’ll be able to help soon. You did everything you could.”

  “Tell her that. I’m the one who made her play the widow,” he said, wiping some blood off his face with his sleeve.

  Other members of the funeral party looked at him with confusion.

  “Derek, not here,” I said.

  “I killed her, it’s my fault,
” he told me.

  I held my tongue and backed away from him and the pained looked in his eyes, ashamed at what I had done.

  Chapter 15

  It had taken two hours for the police to interview everyone that had been at the scene when Cindy died. They wanted to rule out a murder, and with so many eye-witness accounts it seemed they were in agreement that it was just a freak accident. Tiara had somehow slipped away unnoticed using her obfuscation, but I wasn’t so lucky. I got the joy of watching Cindy’s lifeless corpse being stuffed into a body bag.

  The taxi ride back to the office was silent. I was squeezed between both guys, Harrison trying to scratch away the blood crusted on his shirtsleeve and Derek murmuring to himself between tears about whether Cindy death would be covered under Happy Mourners’ insurance. I didn’t know what to say to either of them so I stayed quiet, contemplating what Cindy’s last thoughts had been. Her death had been so violent, I wondered if my image had caused it to be that way?

  We piled out the taxi in the Happy Mourners’ parking lot, waiting for Derek to say something inspirational.

  He sighed, slumping forwards, his eyes blood shot. “I’m sorry today didn’t go as planned and for what you had to witness. I don’t know what we’re going to do without—” The words seemed to catch in his throat.

  Harrison and I waited for him to say something else, but he simply walked away towards the office building.

  Harrison adjusted his glasses. “Don’t worry about Derek. I’ll make sure he gets home alright. Will you be okay to drive yourself?”

  “Yeah, I’ll be fine. I don’t live far away anyway. Do you think everything will be okay?”

  “It’s going to take some time. The business may be rocky for a while when word gets out, but we’ll get back to where we were.”

  “I hope so. I’ll see you later.” I walked towards my car. It hadn’t been the first day of work I’d been hoping for, but it was over.

  The guilt of three dead bodies lying in my wake ate away at me. Three people had never gotten to say goodbye to their loved ones because of me. Max’s ex-wife seemed the easiest to fix. I knew where she worked and knew that she needed a final goodbye. Although I had seen Max’s memories and felt his emotions running through me when we’d touched, I didn’t really know how to put those emotions into words. Years of writing fan fiction had failed me, and if I was honest my writing had never been poetic. In high school I had come close to having a nervous breakdown when I was forced to read aloud my poor version of a Haiku.