Selfless (A Carolina Coastal Novel Book 1)

by Kelsey Cheyenne

  “You love her and she may not admit it yet, but she cares about you too. You can’t give up because she’s scared.” My sister is obviously horrified at the mere thought.

  “Sadie, I know you’re a romantic at heart, but not everything can be resolved by buying and renovating a dream house with a wraparound porch.”

  “Is that a reference to The Notebook?”

  “Seemed pretty on the nose here.”

  She smirks and I smile back. “Give her some time, Wren.”

  “I don’t know how much longer I can wait.”

  The back and forth with Carson has drained me. I should’ve never pursued a relationship outside of her being my client.

  But I’m in too deep now and I want to work things out with her. The way we left things seemed pretty final and it would be easier to close this chapter of my life before continuing down a path leading to nowhere.

  As much as I love her, I have to let her go and let her figure things out on her own.

  Thirty-Seven

  Carson

  I tug the brand new pink unicorn sheets over the twin-sized bed with a huff. Ava hasn’t had an accident in a year, but I think she’s upset and acting out, causing this bed-wetting incident.

  We’ve been in our new house for a month now. I thought my daughter would be adjusted to our new place and her new room, but that doesn’t seem to be the case. Every day she still asks me where Wren is and when we’re going back home, to his place.

  She’s not only started wetting the bed again, but she’s acted out in school, picking on her friend Lucy and tugging on her pigtails. I don’t know how to explain adult relationships to her. Hell, I don’t know how to explain to my mother what happened, let alone my daughter.

  I left Wren a letter when we moved out, thanking him for everything, from helping me with this house to letting us stay with him and everything in between. I haven’t heard from him since. Well, aside from the sole message making sure we moved in okay and finalizing business stuff.

  “Momma…” She drags out the word in a way she does when she wants something or is in trouble. I swear to God if she asks me if Wren can come over again tonight I’m going to lose my shit.

  “Yes, sweetheart?” I spin around and shriek when I see her.

  Her hair. Her beautiful auburn hair is chopped and janky in uneven places.

  “Ava, what did you do?”

  “I cut my hair. I wanted it to match my doll’s.” She holds out the doll Wren got her which has a similarly bad cut job.

  “Ava Grace Ryan, you don’t play with scissors.” I take the toy out of her grasp and point down the hall. “Go to your room. No, better yet, go to my room. You’re grounded. No toys, no TV, nothing. Go.”

  She takes a large gulp of air and I brace myself for her scream. “I like Wren more than I like you!” She takes off down the hall and exasperation over her hysterics drains me. And she’s not even a teenager yet.

  As if a break-up isn’t hard enough, having to deal with Ava’s behavior and attachment to him on top of it is torture. I call the salon and get her the earliest appointment to fix her mess. As soon as I put my phone down, it rings again.

  “What?” I huff into the receiver, not giving a damn about who’s on the other line or that they don’t deserve my wrath.

  “I’m going to hang up and call you back in five minutes so we can redo that greeting.” Meghan’s voice fills my ears and I take a deep breath and stop her before she can fulfill her promise.

  “Wait, sorry. I have shit going on with Ava right now. She decided to cut all her hair off in an attempt to get me back together with Wren.”

  “No shit. Sounds like you need a vacation.”

  “Desperately.”

  “How’s Vegas sound?” I can hear her smile through the phone.

  “Come again?”

  “Do you never check your email? Neil and Monica Jackman invited us out for the opening of the new H+J. Before you argue, I already RSVP’d that we’d go. The opening is next month.”

  “Is this for work or play?”

  “A little column A, a little column B. Do you expect anything else from me?” My friend’s got a point. “We’ll photograph the ribbon cutting and all the dramatics but then we’re free.”

  I hear Ava start to scream again in my room and slam doors. I pinch the bridge of my nose. Next month can’t come soon enough. “Yeah, count me in.”

  ҉ ҉ ҉

  The flight to Vegas was long despite splurging on first class tickets. My in-laws were all too happy to take the little monster off my hands for a full week, giving me some extra time to relax and have a vacation. They were shocked to see Ava’s new ‘do,’ but thankfully her hair grows like a weed. I had to explain what’s going on with her, making things a little awkward when Wren was brought up. It was either explain to the in-laws about the Wren situation or leave Ava with my parents in the same house as Flynn for a week.

  A little discomfort never hurt anyone.

  Meghan is sprawled out on her bed, waiting for me as I unpack my things for our stay. She tends to live out of her suitcase when we travel, making more room in the drawers for me. She’s lying on her stomach, flipping through a book and fanning her face.

  “Phew. Have you ever read these? I’m blushing like a whore in church over here.” She shows me the cover of the book which has a mostly-naked guy on the cover. I roll my eyes.

  “No, I don’t exactly keep porn lying around the house with a child running amok.”

  “Well, you should. It’s good and now I’m all hot and bothered and ready to get laid.”

  “Isn’t that your default setting?” She chucks a pillow at my head.

  “Exactly. That’s why you should be the one reading it.” I feign irritation, but she’s right. I am uptight and a little bit of a prude.

  I haven’t stopped thinking about Wren since we broke up. I put him through the wringer and dragged him along while I dealt with my personal shit. It was never fair to him.

  I miss him so much. He always knew what to say and what to do. He was an amazing kisser and lover. I clench my thighs together just thinking about him.

  “Looks like you don’t need the book after all.”

  “What?” I snap out of my daze and Meg’s face is full of laughter.

  “I mention sex and you zoned out with a creepy smile on your face and started rubbing your palms down your thighs. Do you need me to give you some space? Want me to put a sock on the door as I leave?”

  “Shut up. I was thinking about Wren.”

  “You miss him?” She closes the book and throws it in the top drawer of the nightstand with the Bible. I’m sure one of them will burst into flames being that close in proximity to one another; it’s a toss-up which it’ll be.

  “Of course I miss him.” I collapse onto my bed and roll on my side to face her, propping my head up with my hand.

  “What are you going to do about it?”

  “What do you mean? There’s no way he wants to talk to me ever again, let alone get back together. I haven’t heard from him since we broke up.”

  “That boy is madly in love with you and you hurt him. I know you’re scared, but if you want to get him back, you know what you need to say to him.”

  She’s right. I need to tell him that I love him. For the first time in a long time, the thought of telling him that doesn’t fill me with dread or fear. My veins flood with overwhelming peace and a lightness I didn’t think I’d feel ever again.

  “I know. It will have to wait until we get home; this isn’t a conversation I want to have over the phone. I just hope I’m not too late.”

  We finish settling in before heading to dinner. We wanted to give ourselves a day to get used to the jetlag before the ceremony tomorrow.

  We’re seated at a nice restaurant along the strip with my back to the door and Meg facing me. Our waiter comes to take our drink order and the second he walks away Meg bolts from the table with wide eyes.

  �
��Where are you going?” I whisper-yell.

  “Um, uh, bathroom.”

  “But the bathroom’s the other way?” I glance over my shoulder to see where she’s going but I’m also too hungry to care. I keep perusing the menu, but after a solid five minutes and our waiter returning, I get nosy. And pissed.

  I spin all the way around in my chair and see her talking to some tall drink of water by the front doors. He has his back to me, so I can’t see if I know him. Why else would she jump out of her chair like a madwoman?

  She finally looks around the mass of muscle and catches my gaze. I shoot her a what the hell? look and she pushes the guy out the door and comes back to our table with a fake smile forced on her face.

  “Who was that?”

  “Just a um, famous singer. Yes. It was…Luke Bryan. I know you don’t like country music, so I didn’t bother to tell you.” She takes a sip of her drink and I eye her with suspicion.

  “You pushed Luke Bryan out of a restaurant?” Why is she lying to me?

  “Yes, well, I thought I’d shoot my shot and squeeze his tight little ass. After that, he bolted.” She shrugs and for some reason I’m starting to believe her bullshit story.

  The rest of dinner passes without incident. We head back to our room and Meg wants to go out on the town and paint the sky or whatever. I argue with her, wanting to get to bed as the jetlag settles into my bones.

  She changes into a slinky outfit anyway and I try to stop her. “Meg, you can’t go out alone. You don’t know anyone here. It’s dangerous.” She’s too busy texting to respond. “Who the hell are you talking to?”

  “No one. I’ll be fine. I have another friend out here who will go out with me.”

  “Who? Luke Bryan?” She laughs and rolls her eyes. I crash into the bed and she wiggles her fingers at me and blows me a kiss before heading out the door.

  When I wake up in the morning, her bed is empty and unslept in so, naturally, I assume she’s been murdered. I text her and then call her with no answer. On my third call, a man answers, his voice groggy and laced with sleep. The voice is almost familiar, but I can’t place it.

  “Who is this? Where’s Meghan?”

  “Stop. Be quiet.” I hear my friend’s voice in the distance through the receiver. “Hello?”

  “Meghan, where the hell are you? We need to be at the shoot in an hour.”

  “Chill. I’m fine. I’m heading back now.” Twenty minutes pass and when she finally stumbles through the door, I want to kill her.

  She looks like death warmed over yet a peaceful glow rests on her features. I’d know that look anywhere.

  “Seriously? You couldn’t keep it in your pants this morning?”

  “I’ve got needs. I’m here on time. Leave me and my sex life alone.” She glances at the clock, but in my frazzled state this morning I forgot to clean up the bedside table. “You little slut. Which part was your favorite? Are you preparing to reconcile with Wren and wanted some pointers?”

  The book she put in the nightstand is splayed open, cover facing up to not lose my place. “Let’s call it even?”

  “Deal.” We get ready and head to the site of the new building. Meg made me change like fifty times until giving up on my options and forcing me to wear something out of her suitcase. I feel a bit unprofessional in my get-up, but in Vegas, no one notices if a skirt or dress is a little too short.

  We make our way down the strip to the new H+J building. The company is going all out with advertising and marketing; it’s a zoo trying to get in front of the building. Then I notice they’re handing out free drinks. Anything to get a crowd, I guess.

  We show our badges to security, proof that we’re the photographers and not just random chicks trying to get on the cover of a magazine. We set up, talk shop, and before you know it, it’s time for the ceremony.

  Neil and Monica Jackman are front and center. Behind them follow Mr. Jackman and Mr. Humphrey and a few newcomers who we learn are some of the employees of the new office. Then, be still my thumping heart, Ethan comes forward followed by Wren, with his hand on Sophia Presley’s back.

  My blood thrums through my ears and my heart races in my chest. Sweat pebbles on my forehead and nausea grips my stomach. Why the hell are they here? Is she his date?

  I miss the speeches and almost miss the cutting of the ostentatious red ribbon. I pull myself together and snap a bunch of pictures, though my focus is on my ex and the pretty blonde at his side.

  Thirty-Eight

  Carson

  “Ow, you’re hurting me.” I drag my best friend by her skinny little arm to the back of the room. We came right from the ceremony to the after party inside the new building. It’s tasteful and classy and way too small to try and hide from my ex and his new girlfriend.

  “Tell me it wasn’t Ethan you saw at the restaurant. Tell me you didn’t know they were here and that’s why you didn’t warn me that I’d see Wren. Because, well, you couldn’t.” I stare into her emerald eyes, pleading with her.

  “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. But Ethan didn’t tell me Wren was here with her.” She’s genuinely apologetic and I can read remorse all over her face.

  “Fine. I accept your apology.” I finish my drink and look around the space. “How long do we have to stay at this party?” I want to leave and fly home and never think about Wren again.

  “I’ll go talk to Ethan or, well, kick his ass. I’ll meet you at the doors in ten.” I nod and head off to the bathroom. Of course, with any women’s restroom anywhere, there’s a line. What makes matters worse is who’s standing right in front of me.

  “Carson, oh my gosh, hi. How are you?” Sophia leans in for a hug and it takes all my willpower to be as friendly to her as she is to me. She’s stunning, of course, with her white-blonde hair and jade eyes. Her long white gown fits her like it was made for her and, truth be told, it probably was.

  “Sophia. Hi. I’m well, how are you? You look great.” An awkward beat passes and I glance around the room for her date. “I saw you were here with Wren.” I pray to sound casual but she’s too smart and sees right through me.

  “Wren and I are just friends. He’s a great guy and I won’t lie and say I don’t wish it was more because I do. But he’s in love with someone else.” My face falls and she laughs. “I mean you, Carson. He’s in love with you. Go talk to him.”

  I forget my need to pee as I turn around and come face to face with the man I’ve been avoiding all night. I glance over my shoulder at Sophia who winks at Wren as if they’d orchestrated this whole thing.

  “Wren. I—”

  “I’m sorry, Carson. I’m sorry I stormed out and that I pushed you. I acted like a child because I didn’t want to lose you and yet I did anyway. I’ll take things as slow as you want because I don’t care about anything other than being with you.” With two long strides, I launch into his arms, squeezing him tight and relishing the feel of him against me once more.

  “Wren, I’m sorry. For everything, for all my baggage, for leading you on for months and months. I wasn’t ready to be loved by someone like you, or anyone at all, really. But these past couple of months made me realize how much I miss you and how much I love you. Because I do, Wren Valenti, I love you.”

  We kiss for minutes, hours, days. Time ceases to exist when his lips crush against mine. Nothing else matters but him and me and this moment and the life we’re going to build together.

  “If you’re going back to the room at least put a sock on the door so I know it’s not safe to come in.” We part and I turn around to see our two best friends watching the show. I don’t have a smart remark to say back to her, but I know she’s in good hands with Ethan tonight.

  “Want to get out of here?” Wren asks in a whisper in my ear.

  I nod and allow him to lead me out the doors. We’re all over each other as we walk back to my hotel. I get one cat-caller asking how much I charge and if he can “hit that” next, but we ignore him.

  The elevator is f
ull of people so we restrain ourselves, not even holding hands because the mere contact sends us into a horny frenzy. We stumble to my room and as we push open the door Wren pushes down his pants. He kicks them off in the small entryway and his shirt comes off right after. I’m ready to remove my scrap of a dress, but he beats me to it. The fabric tears, ruining the outfit, and Wren apologizes.

  “Don’t worry about it. It’s not my dress and Meg owes me.” I throw the dress to the ground and kick off my heels before falling back onto the bed.

  We’re savages, ruled by our desire, clawing at one another for more and never getting enough. My bra and panties go flying across the room and his briefs end up on the lampshade. We kiss and touch and our moans fill the room.

  His hand makes its way to my center and tonight no foreplay is needed. I only want him.

  “You’re soaked, baby.”

  I arch my back as he sinks a finger deep into my core. “Please, Wren. I need you.”

  He removes his finger and comes to me, his mouth meeting mine as he sinks into me. Our kiss breaks as we moan into each other’s mouths. His slow pumps all but kill me. I move my hips in tandem with his, trying to get him to pick up the pace. He does and he begins fucking me frantically. My cries can probably be heard around the world.

  He angles my hips to hit me deeper and it makes me see stars. My vision clouds and goes black as I soar higher and come crashing down. My legs shake and my stomach quivers; my heart is racing, yet it’s never felt lighter.

  Wren moans and chants my name as he slams into me until he stills, filling me up. We lie there in sated silence, our fingers exploring each other’s bodies and making up for the time we’ve lost.

  “I love you, Carson Fletcher.”

  “I love you too.” Our fingers tangle and I almost fall asleep on his chest. “Wren?” He ‘hmms’ so I know he’s still awake. “I need you to come home with me. There’s someone who really misses you and I can think of no better surprise for her.”

  “I’m looking forward to it.”