Down & Dirty: Crow: Dirty Angels MC, book 10

by St. James, Jeanne

  “Uh huh,” Ivy muttered. “We’ve all wondered, you know. I mean, what hot-blooded straight woman hasn’t wanted to test drive him at least once.”

  “He’s not a car,” Jazz muttered.

  “No, he’s a fucking Porsche,” Bella murmured.

  “Isn’t that the truth,” Sophie whispered, her expression becoming dreamy.

  “You’ve got Z,” Jazz reminded her.

  “That’s right. I love my ol’ man, but I also have eyes in my head and working lady parts. Doesn’t mean I can’t look. Or fantasize.” She sighed, tucking a fist under her chin. “I miss seeing D’s naked ass, too.”

  All eyes turned to Jewel, who shrugged. “I missed it, too, until I made him put a mirror above the bed in the house.” She glanced at Ivy. “Best decision your ol’ man ever made, putting that mirror on the ceiling of the pawn shop apartment.”

  “Agreed,” Jayde answered. “It freaked me out at first, until I completely saw the value of it.”

  “Problem is, you now have two babies because of those mirrors,” Kiki reminded Jewel.

  Jewel shrugged. “And that’s it. No more. He didn’t want one. Now we have two and I have to fight to spend time with babies that I grew in my belly. He gets the fun parts. I get the shitty parts. Literally.”

  “Z was no better,” Sophie muttered.

  “And there’s where I’m lucky. Hawk doesn’t mind doing all of that. Doesn’t mind getting up in the middle of the night when Ash wakes up crying. Best dad ever.”

  “Hey! Dawson isn’t chopped liver. He’s great with Emmalee,” Emma reminded them.

  “And Lily,” Bella added.

  “Right. And Lily,” Emma agreed with a sharp nod.

  “Jag is awesome with Lexi,” Ivy said, her lips curling at the corners, her expression becoming soft.

  “That’s because my brother worships every red hair on your head and Lexi is a mini-you,” Diamond said.

  Ivy gave Diamond a knowing smile. “Yeah, he’s a good man.”

  “Took long enough for you to finally figure that out,” Bella reminded her sister.

  “Look who’s talking,” Sophie said. “Axel pined for you right here in this bakery. It was sooooo obvious. He’d come in here and tongue that icing, trying to get your attention like a peacock spreading his tail.”

  A few snorts and chuckles went around the table.

  “Speaking of Axel, what’s the latest on the road to adoption?” Diamond asked Bella.

  Bella’s eyes hit Sophie’s and something unspoken was communicated between them. “We’re looking at all the options. We have a few more steps to take.”

  After a few moments of silence and Bella not saying anymore, everyone left it at that. When Bella was ready to share, she would.

  “So, we still haven’t heard how Crow is in bed.” Ivy nudged Jazz.

  “And you won’t, either,” Jazz answered.

  “Mercy back off?” Diamond asked, side-eyeing her.

  Jewel answered before Jazz could. “D sent him off on a job out of state. In Vegas actually.”

  “Damn,” Sophie whispered. “Since when does he give his men long distance jobs?”

  “Since Mercy overstepped. And, anyway, D thinks the Warriors are no more.”

  “What do you mean?” Kiki asked, leaning forward, her eyes focused intently on Jewel.

  Jewel shrugged. “A few weeks ago,” she shot a quick glance at Jazz, “they nabbed who they think might be the last one.”

  “Are they sure?” Kiki asked. “Hawk hasn’t said a word.”

  “Not a hundred percent. There could always be a couple hiding out. They’re nomads for the most part, they don’t have a permanent base.”

  No one said anything for a minute. Instead, they all considered what Jewel just revealed.

  “Are you planning on staying in town now?”

  Jazz turned to look at Kiki. The older woman now studied her. “My plans had nothing to do with the Warriors. Remember, I only came back to town to get my tattoo.”

  Ivy slammed her palm on the table, making everyone jump. “Holy fuck! I forgot about that. Let’s see it!”

  A murmur of agreement swept through the other women.

  Jazz wasn’t sure if she was ready to show anyone her scar cover-up. The only one who had seen it recently was Crow, of course. It wasn’t meant to be seen by anyone else; it was only meant to be appreciated by her, to cover those letters that had haunted her.

  But it would also be a shame if no one else ever saw the perfect piece of art that Crow had drawn for her. “I don’t know,” she whispered.

  Kiki reached out and covered Jazz’s hand that was fisted on the table. “If you’re not comfortable...”

  She could tell Kiki wasn’t very comfortable, either. Maybe she didn’t want to see it. She probably didn’t want a reminder of that day since she had suffered as well.

  Kiki then squeezed her hand. “I’d love to see it. But only if you’re okay with it.”

  She loved Kiki. She was the best thing that ever happened to Hawk. She was the perfect woman for him. She was smart and sexy, and kept her husband on his toes. And now the woman gave that man, the man she loved with every breath she took, a son.

  Jazz fucked up that day she ran out of Hawk’s house. Her first instinct was to help Kiki. But looking back, she realized it would’ve been better for her to call 9-1-1 or Hawk. Or even Diesel. She could’ve given them descriptions of their kidnappers. A complete run-down on what they looked like, what they were driving, what direction they headed.

  But instead, she ran outside with her cell phone and never even got a chance to call anyone before she was tackled and her phone destroyed.

  Kiki blamed herself for Jazz being taken because she screamed out Jazz’s name.

  Jazz blamed herself because Kiki would’ve been found a lot sooner and possibly unharmed, if a witness had been left behind.

  And she never would’ve had to get that tattoo. Because she never would’ve been carved up, left broken and battered...

  Move on.

  Move on.

  Move on.

  It was good advice to herself and she needed to listen to it. But in the meantime, the women were all waiting on her.

  She was never part of the club sisterhood years ago. She didn’t grow up DAMC. She wasn’t born into the club. The only thing tying her to it was her grandparents. And eventually becoming Hawk’s house mouse. So when Diamond invited her today to this “meeting,” she had been floored. She almost turned her down. Now she was glad she didn’t.

  The women made her feel welcome, a part of their group. And when Crow had heard she’d been invited, he had just smiled and shook his head.

  Whatever that meant.

  When she looked around the table, she realized every single one of them was an ol’ lady. Every single one.

  Except for her.

  She looked across the table at Diamond. “Did Crow ask you to invite me today?”

  Diamond’s eyes widened for a second but she quickly hid her surprise. “No. Why wouldn’t we invite you? You’re part of the sisterhood.”

  “I wasn’t,” Jazz said softly.

  “Well, now you are,” Kiki answered.

  Maybe they thought her and Crow were going to remain together?

  “But I’m not an ol’ lady,” Jazz murmured, staring at the coffee mug in front of her. She ran a finger around the lip of it.

  “You don’t need to be an ol’ lady to be a part of the sisterhood, Jazz,” Sophie reassured her.

  “Has he talked about claiming you?” Diamond asked, her head tilted as she watched Jazz carefully.

  Jazz bit her bottom lip. She wasn’t sure if she wanted to talk about her relationship with Crow with any of them.

  “Jazz—” Kiki started.

  Jazz pushed her chair back with a squeal and stood up. She unfastened her shorts and pushed them down before yanking up her shirt with one hand.

  All eyes landed on her lower belly.


  No one said a word for a long moment. Then it was like the flood gates opened.

  “Wow.”

  “Holy shit.”

  “That’s beautiful.”

  “Stunning.”

  “His nicest work yet.”

  Jazz wasn’t keeping track of who said what until Brooke asked, “Is he doing it in small sessions?”

  She nodded. “Yes, because of the scar tissue and the pain.”

  “How many have you had so far?” Sophie asked.

  “Four.”

  “He’s been doing one every two weeks, right?” Diamond asked.

  “Yes.” They’d now been living together for over eight weeks. Sharing the same bed for almost the same amount of time. And it had been amazing. Even the nights where he did nothing other than hold her once he got home from work. But she wasn’t sure how many more sessions he’d need to finish the tattoo. And once he did, she wasn’t sure what would happen to them. She hadn’t asked after that night she confessed her feelings. He also hadn’t brought it up again, either.

  “Well, it’s perfect,” Kiki whispered, suspiciously wiping a hand over her eyes.

  Jazz’s heart skipped a beat, if Kiki started crying...

  She needed to quickly switch gears again. “When it’s completed, he wants me to move on.”

  Fuck. She shouldn’t have let that slip out. Because suddenly the warm group of women turned cold. Their spines snapped straight, their eyes narrowed, their mouths got tight.

  “Why?” Jewel asked, a bit of anger tinging her question. “Don’t tell me he’s as stubborn as my beast?”

  “He isn’t going to make you his ol’ lady?” Ivy asked.

  “He hasn’t brought it up. He thinks I should be with someone my own age.”

  “You’re only about a year younger than me,” Jayde announced. “That’s bullshit. Crow acts like he’s an ancient, wise old man. He’s what?” She wiggled her fingers in the air, waiting for someone to answer.

  Which Diamond did. “Forty.”

  “Forty!” Kiki spouted. “Hawk isn’t far behind him. Jesus. If forty is old...” She shook her head. “What’s wrong with him?”

  “Doesn’t he know forty is the new thirty? And, anyway, he’s in his prime,” Brooke exclaimed.

  “Is he ever,” Sophie mumbled under her breath.

  “He’s still plenty young enough to start a family,” Kiki said.

  Family?

  Did he want a family? She hadn’t even considered that. Maybe he wanted a family, but just not with her?

  Everybody else was settling down and having kids. Hell, even Diesel! Being forty, maybe he wanted to get started soon and knew it would take a while for Jazz to completely recover? Especially if it took her six years to get this far. Maybe he thought it would take way too long for her to get to a point where she would be a good mother?

  Was that possible?

  Was she even mother material?

  Holy shit, did she even want kids?

  She glanced around the table. The only women who didn’t have any yet were Brooke, Bella and Jayde. And Crow had said that Jayde miscarried but she and Linc planned on having some in the future once she passed the bar exam, which was soon. Plus, Bella and Axel were planning to adopt.

  Brooke... Well, the little Jazz knew about Brooke—and only because Crow had told her when he’d given her the run-down on the sisterhood—was that she was a kickass, independent woman who challenged Dex at every turn. And the man had no complaints. Apparently, he ate that up.

  Crow said Dex and Brooke were the perfect match. But then so was D and Jewel. Sophie and Z. Bella and Axel...

  Hell, all of them were.

  Crow and her were not perfect. They seemed to be the oddball couple. Their differences were obvious.

  Maybe Crow was waiting for his perfect match like the rest of his brothers.

  Apparently, she wasn’t it.

  Most likely, he wanted what they had. She didn’t blame him. He saw with his own two eyes how his brothers, once they finally claimed their women, were happy.

  He may never have what they had with her.

  He was right. She needed to move on once her tattoo was done. Let him find his perfect ol’ lady. One who wouldn’t hold him back. One who would be willing to give him the family he wanted, since she wasn’t sure.

  But even so, maybe the two of them were so imperfect together that they were perfect? “I told him I love him.”

  Jazz didn’t miss the collective sucking in of air around the table.

  Shit. Did she say that out loud, too?

  “Did he say it back?”

  She turned her eyes to Sophie, who was wearing a soft smile. “I... I think so. Though, he hasn’t come right out and said it.”

  “What did he say?” Ivy asked.

  “When I first told him, he said ‘me, too.’”

  Jewel threw her hands up. “Well, there you go.”

  “I’m not sure... He hasn’t said anything since.”

  Jewel lifted her coffee to her lips, saying, “Oh, please. If you expect any of these guys to say it like a normal man... Forget it. Take what you can get.”

  All eyes turned to Jewel. While they were all thinking it, it was Brooke who was brave enough to ask, “Has D said it to you?”

  Jewel swallowed her coffee, then smiled. “He’s D.”

  “That doesn’t answer the question.”

  “That’s my answer,” Jewel said saucily.

  “Does it bother you that he doesn’t?” Emma asked her.

  “Who said he doesn’t?” Jewel shot back.

  “We all know D is coo coo for Cocoa Puffs over Jewelee,” Jayde announced. “Let’s leave them alone.”

  “True. Actions speak louder than words,” Sophie murmured. “All those weeks that Zak snuck over here in the dead of night to win me over...”

  “And it worked,” Ivy said.

  “It did,” Sophie agreed. “Just like Jag never gave up on you. Axel never gave up on Bella. Shit...” She shook her head. “These men...”

  “When they know what they want, they go hard and heavy,” Bella said.

  “It’s not only the men...” Ivy drifted off, looking at Jewel.

  Jewel shrugged. “Who wouldn’t want the Eighth Wonder of the World in their bed?”

  “Me. Nice to look at. Frustrating as hell to deal with,” Diamond said.

  “Well, you and D have always butted heads,” Jewel reminded her sister.

  “Okay, so now what?” Kiki tried to bring them back on track. “Jazz is in love with Crow. We assume Crow feels the same. He’s being stubborn about his age for some dumb reason. What can we do about it?”

  “Oh, I don’t know, Kiki. I don’t think it’s a good idea if we get involved,” Sophie said, a worried look on her face.

  “Why not?” Kiki asked, a determined look on hers. “Look, we all love Crow. We want what’s best for him.”

  “I’m not so sure I’m what’s best for him,” Jazz said. And that was true.

  “Diamond?” Ivy asked.

  Diamond studied Jazz for a moment before confirming, “Yes, I think she’s best for him.”

  “So there you go. Crow’s ‘baby doll’ has given her seal of approval,” Jewel said with a laugh.

  Brooke lifted a palm, her eyebrows high on her forehead. “Wait. If he calls Di ‘baby doll’ what the hell does he call you?”

  “Kachina,” Jazz answered.

  “What does that mean?” Brooke’s brows dropped, knitting together.

  “Spirit.”

  Brooke pursed her lips. “He only just started calling you that?”

  “No. Since the day I met him.”

  Brooke sat back in her chair and it was easy to see the wheels spinning in her head. “And how old were you when he met you?”

  “Eighteen.”

  “That’s young,” she said softly.

  “Right. I think he still sees me like the first day we met.”

  “And how
long have you loved him?”

  Jazz thought back before she answered Brooke. “Eighteen.” Okay, maybe it was more like a crush that turned into lust which turned into love. Not that she was keeping track.

  “Damn,” Brooke whispered.

  “I don’t think he still sees you as eighteen,” Diamond murmured. “Otherwise, you wouldn’t be in his bed.”

  “He’s just helping me.”

  Jayde snorted. “Helping you. Right. Crow isn’t a dog. He doesn’t just grab some where ever he can get it. He’s pretty selective.”

  “Well, he has just grabbed some in the past, but they’ve never stuck,” Diamond corrected her. She raised a finger. “Though, it’s true, he is pretty selective even for that.”

  “You’ve been back two months now. That’s the longest he’s stuck with any woman,” Ivy said.

  “Because my tattoo isn’t finished.”

  Ivy mumbled, “Uh huh.”

  “So back to what I said, how are we going to help?” Kiki asked. “Even if he expects her to move on once the tat is finished, or even move out of his house... We need to keep her in town. Keep her close. Let him see the error of his ways.”

  “I doubt he’ll want me to stay as his house mouse forever.”

  “Right. So come work with Jayde and me. We desperately need help managing the office now, since Jayde is taking on more official duties and close to taking the bar exam. It’ll give you a good reason to stick in Shadow Valley and let things develop as they need to. Plus, no one sitting at this table wants you to go.”

  Head bobs and mmm-hmm’s went around the table.

  “If you don’t want to do that, come work for me in my interior design business,” Brooke encouraged her. “I definitely need the help since business has been booming. I’m overwhelmed and good help is hard to find.”

  “You have Kelsea, don’t you?” Jazz asked her. That’s what Crow had told her.

  Brooke rolled her eyes. “I wish I had Kelsea. I’m not sure who it is I have. Half the time she doesn’t even bother to show up. And when she does...” She shook her head, frowning. “She’s way too unreliable.”

  “Still?” Kiki asked, concern crossing her face.

  “Yes, I keep threatening to fire her, but Dex keeps begging me not to.”

  “She’s not on a good path,” Jewel said after taking another bite of her cupcake. “D has his guys pulling her out of jams time and time again. He won’t do it himself because if he does, he might strangle the shit out of her. But, honestly, we’re both afraid she’s going to end up... fuck... dead. Or...” She let that drift off.